Holiday behavior? Needing support

[Guest guest]

Is anyone else experiencing terrible behavior problems with their

children? Nick is three and a half and is being out right defiant.

I can't tell if it's the age (he's my only child) or it's the

holidays overwhelming him, or a bit of both. Please forgive my

naivety, but HOLY COW this better go away when the holidays are

over! He's angry, becoming aggressive and uncooperative. I'm

begining to wonder where my Nick has run off to! I'm not allowing

holiday sweets so I can't blame that, well this morning he did have

a bit of egg nog . . .

I'm starting to get overwhelmed myself what with waiting for biopsy

results to come in (for me), holiday shopping, his SLP asking to

bill my insurance (she's paid by the EI program so this is against

her EI contract to even ask me, never mind to actually do it),

speech three times a week with an angry, uncooperative kid and my

elderly mom having some health issues. I know, I know I've just put

my own finger on why Nick is behaving the way he is. But what to do

about it!? I can't very well change most of those things. Uggh, I

am overwhelmed

Sorry to be so negative. Here's some positive: Nick's SLP was able

to give him a " communication " test (the CELF Preschool 2). This was

the first time that an expessive language assessment could be given

so that is good progress! He scored 4.2 yrs in Auditory Comp, less

than 3 yrs in expressive (no surprises there) and 5.0 yrs in

expressive vocab - THAT was a surprise! The expressive vocab is

single word answers. Sooooo a great cheer for my test avoiding

little boy. All in all I don't put an awful lot of stock in many

tests because Nick does freeze so when tested but it was wonderful

that he was able to make it through this one.

Thanks for letting me vent and in so doing opening my eyes. I hope

that I am alone in the holiday crazys and that you are all having

wonderful moments to remember for life times to come!

Blessings

McCann

[Guest guest]

My son doesn't do as well during this time either. He was the same

way last winter but he was newly diagnosed and I'm not sure it would

have been a good time for him regardless. His progress has been

wonderful but he is more ornary, whiny, and uncooperative than

usual. I'm beginning to think that it's the season change or the

fact that he has been sick some where he is not usually sick during

the warmer months. Good Luck! I know how you feel. It's

definitely distressing!!

>

>

> Is anyone else experiencing terrible behavior problems with their

> children? Nick is three and a half and is being out right

defiant.

> I can't tell if it's the age (he's my only child) or it's the

> holidays overwhelming him, or a bit of both. Please forgive my

> naivety, but HOLY COW this better go away when the holidays are

> over! He's angry, becoming aggressive and uncooperative. I'm

> begining to wonder where my Nick has run off to! I'm not allowing

> holiday sweets so I can't blame that, well this morning he did

have

> a bit of egg nog . . .

>

> I'm starting to get overwhelmed myself what with waiting for

biopsy

> results to come in (for me), holiday shopping, his SLP asking to

> bill my insurance (she's paid by the EI program so this is against

> her EI contract to even ask me, never mind to actually do it),

> speech three times a week with an angry, uncooperative kid and my

> elderly mom having some health issues. I know, I know I've just

put

> my own finger on why Nick is behaving the way he is. But what to

do

> about it!? I can't very well change most of those things. Uggh,

I

> am overwhelmed

>

> Sorry to be so negative. Here's some positive: Nick's SLP was

able

> to give him a " communication " test (the CELF Preschool 2). This

was

> the first time that an expessive language assessment could be

given

> so that is good progress! He scored 4.2 yrs in Auditory Comp,

less

> than 3 yrs in expressive (no surprises there) and 5.0 yrs in

> expressive vocab - THAT was a surprise! The expressive vocab is

> single word answers. Sooooo a great cheer for my test avoiding

> little boy. All in all I don't put an awful lot of stock in many

> tests because Nick does freeze so when tested but it was wonderful

> that he was able to make it through this one.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent and in so doing opening my eyes. I

hope

> that I am alone in the holiday crazys and that you are all having

> wonderful moments to remember for life times to come!

> Blessings

> McCann

[Guest guest]

Hi, -

No, you are not alone. Josh is bouncing off the walls - and it's not because

of any increase in sweets as he doesn't like them! School's out, the weather is

different, the attitude of parents is different, there's excitement in the air,

anticipation, all of that has an effect on the kids. He's had several nights

over the past couple of weeks that he just didn't sleep - he'd be up every

couple of hours, turning on his bedroom light, playing with toys, " reading " a

magazine (trains) or book (trains). I know, as you discovered, it probably has

a lot to do with my attitude - we've got 15 people coming for Christmas Eve

dinner and my stove died - we ordered a new one from Sears but the delivery got

delayed (was supposed to be delivered on Monday but just came in today) and now

we're afraid it won't fit in the space where we had the old stove (we had a 40 "

stove, the space is 40 " , we ordered a 40 " stove but the 40 " stove is actually,

according to Sears yesterday, 40 1/8 " - I'm in a

slight panic), add on to that all the holiday shopping, gift making, and, oh,

yes, work! So, with me being a bit on the frantic side it's no wonder Josh is

also. Oh, well, the holiday will be over soon enough and everything will have

worked out just fine (or so says my dh). I actually love the season and if it

weren't for the stove thing I'd be just fine (and so would Josh).

Can you get outside and let Nick get some energy out? I know this week

we're having a frigid snap in northern Illinois but, boy, I'm getting those

scarves and mittens out for a nice long walk in the forest!

Good luck to you - all this shall pass.

Sherry

srmccann2003 <smccann@...> wrote:

Is anyone else experiencing terrible behavior problems with their

children? Nick is three and a half and is being out right defiant.

I can't tell if it's the age (he's my only child) or it's the

holidays overwhelming him, or a bit of both. Please forgive my

naivety, but HOLY COW this better go away when the holidays are

over! He's angry, becoming aggressive and uncooperative. I'm

begining to wonder where my Nick has run off to! I'm not allowing

holiday sweets so I can't blame that, well this morning he did have

a bit of egg nog . . .

I'm starting to get overwhelmed myself what with waiting for biopsy

results to come in (for me), holiday shopping, his SLP asking to

bill my insurance (she's paid by the EI program so this is against

her EI contract to even ask me, never mind to actually do it),

speech three times a week with an angry, uncooperative kid and my

elderly mom having some health issues. I know, I know I've just put

my own finger on why Nick is behaving the way he is. But what to do

about it!? I can't very well change most of those things. Uggh, I

am overwhelmed

Sorry to be so negative. Here's some positive: Nick's SLP was able

to give him a " communication " test (the CELF Preschool 2). This was

the first time that an expessive language assessment could be given

so that is good progress! He scored 4.2 yrs in Auditory Comp, less

than 3 yrs in expressive (no surprises there) and 5.0 yrs in

expressive vocab - THAT was a surprise! The expressive vocab is

single word answers. Sooooo a great cheer for my test avoiding

little boy. All in all I don't put an awful lot of stock in many

tests because Nick does freeze so when tested but it was wonderful

that he was able to make it through this one.

Thanks for letting me vent and in so doing opening my eyes. I hope

that I am alone in the holiday crazys and that you are all having

wonderful moments to remember for life times to come!

Blessings

McCann

[Guest guest]

my josh is terrible this season and throws himself on the floor when he does

not want to leave the store. last week we got asked to leave the movie the

polar express because somone complained that my son walked up and down the

stairs

and they blame everything on a safety issue when they dont want to work with

us and the manager wouldnt even walk up to me and give me the money back when

my son was having a meltdown, he suggestes we get a rain check and said we

could come back during the weekday matinee because he didnt think anyone would

be

there but I insisted that this manager give my money back to save me the

embarrassment of being asked to leave again. NOW I AM AFRAID TO GO ANYWHERE.

We

saw a psychologist last week who says she doesnt believe my son is autistic

and I saw a copy of his teachers report I sent to Iowa city for her that I

OPENED AND SHE WROTE that between 25 and 55 times (isnt that a big difference)

that my son laid down on the floor and wouldnt get up because he didnt like

his schedule, she is one of the experts who said my son was almost considered

full blown autistic, the school wanted to give him one hour a month with the

speechy so we are doing 1.5 hours a week with private st and ot and trying to

get mr waiver for help to pay for these services along with psychological

services so we can curb the behavior problems we are going to iowa city to see a

teram of experts next week, IT ISNT EASY

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I am from Iowa, and I wanted to respond to the part of your email about the

amount of speech services from the school. In Iowa, I believe it is common (at

least in Area Education Association 10) to assign a small amount of speech

therapy services to preschoolers to begin with that are not necessarily based on

the child's need. This occurred with my first child under an IEP for speech

and would have occurred with my second child if I had not known better. In

our first son's case, the AEA SLP simply assigned 100 minutes per month and told

me that would be enough. When I asked what people do if it isn't, she said

they get speech services privately. We subsequently filed a complaint and

although we received a very unsatisfactory response from the state, services

were

increased.

My belief was confirmed in a memo I got a copy of (when I requested my

child's file from the Iowa DOE) from Focucci who is listed as an SLP with

Iowa's Department of Education. He stated .... " With preschoolers it is not

uncommon to try a smaller amount of direct therapy minutes to see how the

student

respond [sic] to sitting, attending and responding in a structured situation

with time/minutes adjustments based on students [sic] response to instruction,

progress and data review. " In my opinion, among problems with this approach are

that 1) the IEP services are not driven by the child's needs after being

assessed by the AEA; 2) it is not research based (see IA Adm. Code Section

281-41.3(6); 3) parents are not presented with alternatives (e.g. shorter, more

frequent sessions) so parents aren't really part of the IEP team (see IA. Adm.

Code Section 291.41.70 requiring that the agency make it clear to parents that

the services proposed are only " recommendations for review and discussion with

the parents. " ; and 4) it relies on the good faith of the school SLP assigned to

find more time in the school setting to treat your child if your child needs

the treatment to make reasonable educational progress and the SLP is not just

looking out for the interests of your child. When my last child qualified

for speech, the testing AEA SLP (different SLP from the one who tested an

earlier child) told me that it was common to start with a small amount of

therapy,

once again confirming this practice.

I do not know if your child's test scores support the need for more treatment

through a school; however, you may wish to pursue further treatment through

the AEA. (And if the AEA won't provide it, remember that the LEA (also known

as your local school district) is required to provide it if the AEA doesn't.

Good luck.