Re: Is this considered poor treatment and or neglect from preeschool staff?!

[Guest guest]

You wrote " I not sure where I should take this matter. Since the teacher

found humor and did not take my concerns seriously the first two

times, should I try one more time to express my concerns? "

I am so sorry to hear this . I hope some of my suggestions

as well as those of others help.

Just a quick idea prior to letting you know some others more

in depth. Have you thought about pull ups vs. diapers, especially

since your son is over four. Pull ups could also help with

maintaining his self esteem since he is the only one still in

diapers in his preschool -if he knows.

It sounds to me like either A. someone new there has not a clue how

to change a diaper so they don't attach it correctly, and due to

this sometimes it moves, or B. some type of abuse -also a sign there

could be other things going on that are not right.

What concerns me is the fact you wrote they are laughing about this

when you express your concern. You can show them that two can play

that game, and the winner is the one who has the last laugh -and

also show them why they better stop laughing...now!

If it's " A " you could try writing with a permanent marker on your

son's new diapers that you send to school for them to change him

with (if you have to keep him in diapers vs. pull ups ) real big

you can write on each diaper you send in " this side next to

skin " " this side out " and " right " and " left " arrows on the sides.

Of course be sure to also draw a smile face under each instruction

so they don't know for sure if you are being sarcastic or not. If

you want to let them know you are really upset, you can send in a

step by step guide for " how to change a diaper "

http://www.babycenter.com/general/3833.html?adcode=AOL:edi:txt:fam:bab

But to make sure they are just as upset - let them know your child's

pediatrician suggested you send that to them.

Speaking of which -best advise is to take your son to the doctor

about what is going on -and get a written report on why diapers

being put on inside out and upside down are causing your child both

emotional as well as physical pain. Get the diagnosis of what is

now wrong -what this can lead to if continued -etc. It's disgusting

they would even need to read this -shame on them! Whatever

documentation you receive should be also sent to the Superintendent

of Schools as well at this point. Even though you yourself can use

over the counter diaper creams on your child's rash -having your

child's pediatrician put in writing a prescription as to how to

apply the cream and get rid of the rash caused by inappropriate

placement of diapers by the preschool staff is way more powerful.

I don't know much about abuse " B " in this way -so searched quickly

online. I found in this one article from the Wall Street Journal

that " schools that do change diapers often require two adults to be

present during diaper changing, to prevent child abuse and forestall

lawsuits "

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB109355696183002357-IZjf4NjlaJ3mp2ma3yIc\

KyBm4,00.html

So I'm guessing that one sentence alone should be included in a

letter to the school. Demand for two people to be present during

your son's diaper changing and ask specifically if that has been the

case. Also include in the letter that based on your pediatrician's

report you now are demanding to know who has been doing the changing

so you can provide this information to your child's pediatrician as

well. (perhaps once you provide your son's pediatrician with all

the pertinent facts he'll have no choice but report this as possible

abuse.) Also include your own medical background (unless I'm mixing

you up with someone else)

Below are some quotes from a recent post that I pulled from. The

same advice I just gave about securing out of district preschool

placement (something you may want to explore!) you can use to

advocate/navigate this diaper issue.

" I myself did not use my own views of Tanner to advocate for him in

school to get him out of inappropriate placement in his preschool

through the town school. Yes of course my husband Glenn and I let

them know what we saw in Tanner, but understand that I knew that

they would view most that I said about Tanner as a " parent in

denial " if they viewed him as anything different than us. "

" Each time something inappropriate happened at school -like when they

punished Tanner for not doing something he did the day before and

blamed it on him being " manipulative " and let him sit on the floor

and cry for hours (!) and ignore him -I would take Tanner to another

neuromedical doctor for his or her views and present that instead of

our own outrage. "

" Create a paper trail, write down Kayla's

history up till now and each event that happens now, phonecalls with

date and time and who you spoke with, letters or emails. Hard copy

every conversation by following up with a fax, email or letter. "

/message/36027

Best of luck to you and your child. I do hope this horrible

treatment of your son comes to an end immediately (pardon the pun)

Hugs,

=====

[Guest guest]

Hi, Kris -

What a horrible thing to happen! I would venture to place these incidents

in the category of neglect or abuse - what kind of idiot puts velcro on a

child's scrotum! My suggestion is to go above the heads of the teachers - is

there a director of the school, a principal, something like that? I would be

nice about it - tell them very sweetly that what has happened can be considered

neglect or abuse and that you expect to see it stopped with your son, although

you wonder what is happening with other children, but would be happy to report

these incidents to the Department of Child and Family Services (or whatever your

State calls it). Good luck - and give Chase some extra hugs and kisses!

Sherry

Emery <jahnk@...> wrote:

Hi all,

My son Chase 4.4yo (Oral/Verbal Apraxia, DSI, hypotonia, dysphasia, dysgraphia,

and g-tube dependant) is in his second year of integrated preschool, receiving

ST and OT services, and is still not potty trained. There have been several

occasions that he has come home with diaper on backwards and at first I though

it was kind of funny until the day he came home with his diaper on inside-out.

Needless to say it was a mess when he urinated in to the inside-out diaper (the

outer-side of a diaper is not absorbent what so ever) and began to cry as urine

ran down his legs.I brought up my concerns with diapering problem with his

teacher on two occasions, the second time( about the inside-out diaper, the

teacher more or less laughed it off by saying " well an inside-out diaper can't

work very well " followed by a chuckle.I thought there might be some changes

after bring the subject up with the teacher and they would be more conscientious

with his diaper changes, but that did not happen. There

have also been many occasions that Chase was not cleaned properly after a bowel

movement, leaving feces to dry on his little butt, causing rashes and

excoriation.

Well today was the icing on the cake. When Chase got home from school he went up

to bed and fell asleep for about and hour and half. When he awoke, he said his

diaper was hurting him, so I proceeded to change his diaper. Once I pulled down

his pants I could not believe my eyes...His diaper was on sideways!!! I mean the

part of the diaper that goes between the legs was on his right hip, the right

side fastener was in his left hip, and the left side fastener was in his crotch.

Even another 4yo would recognize this was wrong! He has is reddened and

blistered on his scrotum from the Velcro.

I'm not sure if I am over reacting and just being over emotional, but I feel

that this qualifies as some type of neglect. When I saw this sideways diaper

today I felt like crying, and felt hurt that the someone could not take a few

extra seconds to apply son's diaper on correctly. I trust these people to take

care of my son while he is there, and this makes me wonder what other needs are

being ignored and or done half-heartedly.

I not sure where I should take this matter. Since the teacher found humor and

did not take my concerns seriously the first two times, should I try one more

time to express my concerns? Or should I go above their heads and make a formal

complaint to the Director of Special Services? I do not " piss-off " the teacher

and classroom staff because I fear his treatment could be amplified if I make

any waves. But on the other hand, I want my son to be treated with dignity and

respect and not have to suffer any undo harm or miss treatment because his mom

has been label a " problem parent. "

I just want to add that we never had any of these problems last year in

preschool. The only changes in the classroom have been the last years spec ed

teacher is now the main teacher, and a new male teacher has taken over the spec.

ed position, and one new TA. Otherwise the staff has not changed. Another thing

is that Chase is the only one diapers in the afternoon class (there are two in

AM class. I know because I asked). Out of 15 children, there are only 4 children

receiving services for speech delays. Chase is the only one getting OT and ST.

Asking for any suggestions and or advice! Thank you

Kris

[Guest guest]

hi kris,

totally WRONG!!!!! its humorous if the diaper fell off once, it is not humerous

if it is insideout or sideways. are they training someone to put diapers on? I

am very upset about this. I was a teacher assistant in spec ed school and that

would not be acceptable. I would talk to her again and show your disapproaval.

I would tell her that if happens one more time you are going to her superior and

do it. this is your baby, they would unprofessional if they take it out on him

if you complain. then if that happened you change classes and they would lose

their job.

so sorry that happened to you, that never never should have happened to your boy

chris

Emery <jahnk@...> wrote:

Hi all,

My son Chase 4.4yo (Oral/Verbal Apraxia, DSI, hypotonia, dysphasia, dysgraphia,

and g-tube dependant) is in his second year of integrated preschool, receiving

ST and OT services, and is still not potty trained. There have been several

occasions that he has come home with diaper on backwards and at first I though

it was kind of funny until the day he came home with his diaper on inside-out.

Needless to say it was a mess when he urinated in to the inside-out diaper (the

outer-side of a diaper is not absorbent what so ever) and began to cry as urine

ran down his legs.I brought up my concerns with diapering problem with his

teacher on two occasions, the second time( about the inside-out diaper, the

teacher more or less laughed it off by saying " well an inside-out diaper can't

work very well " followed by a chuckle.I thought there might be some changes

after bring the subject up with the teacher and they would be more conscientious

with his diaper changes, but that did not happen. There

have also been many occasions that Chase was not cleaned properly after a bowel

movement, leaving feces to dry on his little butt, causing rashes and

excoriation.

Well today was the icing on the cake. When Chase got home from school he went up

to bed and fell asleep for about and hour and half. When he awoke, he said his

diaper was hurting him, so I proceeded to change his diaper. Once I pulled down

his pants I could not believe my eyes...His diaper was on sideways!!! I mean the

part of the diaper that goes between the legs was on his right hip, the right

side fastener was in his left hip, and the left side fastener was in his crotch.

Even another 4yo would recognize this was wrong! He has is reddened and

blistered on his scrotum from the Velcro.

I'm not sure if I am over reacting and just being over emotional, but I feel

that this qualifies as some type of neglect. When I saw this sideways diaper

today I felt like crying, and felt hurt that the someone could not take a few

extra seconds to apply son's diaper on correctly. I trust these people to take

care of my son while he is there, and this makes me wonder what other needs are

being ignored and or done half-heartedly.

I not sure where I should take this matter. Since the teacher found humor and

did not take my concerns seriously the first two times, should I try one more

time to express my concerns? Or should I go above their heads and make a formal

complaint to the Director of Special Services? I do not " piss-off " the teacher

and classroom staff because I fear his treatment could be amplified if I make

any waves. But on the other hand, I want my son to be treated with dignity and

respect and not have to suffer any undo harm or miss treatment because his mom

has been label a " problem parent. "

I just want to add that we never had any of these problems last year in

preschool. The only changes in the classroom have been the last years spec ed

teacher is now the main teacher, and a new male teacher has taken over the spec.

ed position, and one new TA. Otherwise the staff has not changed. Another thing

is that Chase is the only one diapers in the afternoon class (there are two in

AM class. I know because I asked). Out of 15 children, there are only 4 children

receiving services for speech delays. Chase is the only one getting OT and ST.

Asking for any suggestions and or advice! Thank you

Kris

[Guest guest]

Dearest Kris:

I am so sorry to hear this. This upsets me to no end. I am not an

expert, a school administrator. But like you, I am a Mother, who

wants the best for my daughter and I will do whatever needs to be

done to ensure that my daughter is taken care of when I drop her off

at school. My daughter (6 years old) also has a g-tube and is

still in training pants.

In Los Angeles, the LAUSD have medical policies that they must adhere

to. Firstly, having a g-tube is a red flag to the district. The

district is supposed to assign to medically/fragile kids, etc., a

health care assistant (HCA). The HCA is assigned to one child and

stays with that child the entire day of schoolschool year. The HCA

who is (allegedly) trained for medical needs (i.e.g-tube) can give

the child their bolus feeds, change diapers, etc,.

In any case, I would document everything that you mentioned in your

message. Speak to the principal. In the meantime, I would address

each aide and explain to them the urgency of how important it is to

put the diaper on properly and let them know what happens to his

anatomy if it is not put on the correct way. If it doesn't change

report them to the district and explain to the district the aide's

neglegance.

Maybe your son can be in a smaller class. It sounds like there are

alot of kids in the afternoon class. Your son needs special, medical

attention.

Can you find out if your school district provides Health Care

Assistants? If they do, You can request and IEP and let the school

know that you want a HCA for your son. It is medically necessary,

health issues,etc. Be certain to have documents from his doctors

request that your child needs a 1:1 aide i.e. Health Care Assistant,

why he needs one, the health risks of g-tube i.e. possible

infections, what if the g-tube comes out. Not that any of this will

ever happen of course, but the district needs to take responsibility

for your son's needs.

I hope this helps. I've learned the hard way and by my mistakes in

dealing with the school district. Oh yea, you are not over reacting.!

\

best of luck.

[Guest guest]

I just thought I'd add my 2 cents. I think that I wouldn't send my

son back to the place until I knew that changes had been made. I

would get guarantees from the staff that there are changes. Your

son shouldn't have to endure what they did to him.

My " normal " son went to preschool for several years, and this

absolutely would not have happened there.

I work in our church's nursery, and we have to be trained in that

classroom. There are all sorts of hygiene rules, and I would be

very worried that the staff is not following any hygiene regulations.

These are some of the things we do when we change the diapers at

church. First we have to wear disposable gloves. We lay down a

sheet of disposable paper (like toilet seat covers). After we

change the diaper, we throw it away in a plastic bag. Then we spray

the changing area with lysol (or wipe it with a clorox wipe).

If the staff can't even put on a diaper correctly, how are they

following other hygiene rules.

I'd check out everything very carefully before sending my child back.

>

> Hi all,

>

> My son Chase 4.4yo (Oral/Verbal Apraxia, DSI, hypotonia,

dysphasia, dysgraphia, and g-tube dependant) is in his second year

of integrated preschool, receiving ST and OT services, and is still

not potty trained. There have been several occasions that he has

come home with diaper on backwards and at first I though it was kind

of funny until the day he came home with his diaper on inside-out.

Needless to say it was a mess when he urinated in to the inside-out

diaper (the outer-side of a diaper is not absorbent what so ever)

and began to cry as urine ran down his legs.I brought up my concerns

with diapering problem with his teacher on two occasions, the

second time( about the inside-out diaper, the teacher more or less

laughed it off by saying " well an inside-out diaper can't work very

well " followed by a chuckle.I thought there might be some changes

after bring the subject up with the teacher and they would be more

conscientious with his diaper changes, but that did not happen.

There have also been many occasions that Chase was not cleaned

properly after a bowel movement, leaving feces to dry on his little

butt, causing rashes and excoriation.

>

> Well today was the icing on the cake. When Chase got home from

school he went up to bed and fell asleep for about and hour and

half. When he awoke, he said his diaper was hurting him, so I

proceeded to change his diaper. Once I pulled down his pants I could

not believe my eyes...His diaper was on sideways!!! I mean the part

of the diaper that goes between the legs was on his right hip, the

right side fastener was in his left hip, and the left side fastener

was in his crotch. Even another 4yo would recognize this was wrong!

He has is reddened and blistered on his scrotum from the Velcro.

>

> I'm not sure if I am over reacting and just being over emotional,

but I feel that this qualifies as some type of neglect. When I saw

this sideways diaper today I felt like crying, and felt hurt that

the someone could not take a few extra seconds to apply son's

diaper on correctly. I trust these people to take care of my son

while he is there, and this makes me wonder what other needs are

being ignored and or done half-heartedly.

>

> I not sure where I should take this matter. Since the teacher

found humor and did not take my concerns seriously the first two

times, should I try one more time to express my concerns? Or should

I go above their heads and make a formal complaint to the Director

of Special Services? I do not " piss-off " the teacher and classroom

staff because I fear his treatment could be amplified if I make any

waves. But on the other hand, I want my son to be treated with

dignity and respect and not have to suffer any undo harm or miss

treatment because his mom has been label a " problem parent. "

>

> I just want to add that we never had any of these problems last

year in preschool. The only changes in the classroom have been the

last years spec ed teacher is now the main teacher, and a new male

teacher has taken over the spec. ed position, and one new TA.

Otherwise the staff has not changed. Another thing is that Chase is

the only one diapers in the afternoon class (there are two in AM

class. I know because I asked). Out of 15 children, there are only 4

children receiving services for speech delays. Chase is the only one

getting OT and ST.

>

> Asking for any suggestions and or advice! Thank you

>

> Kris