What might happen now

[Guest guest]

I am just wondering if you can help please. I still don't think I am

at my optimum level with NT yet but hopefully getting there.

I have still had days where I have been tired had sore feet etc but

last week I had to make a decision to put my horse to sleep. It was

confirmed on Friday that this would happen. On that Friday I had a

call from a friend saying not to do to it etc, we will take him and

see

how he goes bla bla bla. Well this just sent me into a right tizz. I

was so stressed and a wreck and really just could not cope. I felt

like I was under enornomous amounts of pressure because of this call.

I really can't explain how I felt. After a chat to the vet I settled

again.

Prior to this I was happy with what I had decide. Not happy that it

had to be done but he was going to be pain free at last. He was put to

sleep on Saturday. I noticed a few days before that I was doing really

well with my health. Staying awake not having sore feet etc but I did

notice I had to concerntrate on my breathing as if I was not careful I

would have passed out.

Through feelings of guilt I had also decide to give my other horse

away

as he was older and I felt really realy bad about him possibly being

on

his own. Just could not do it so I passed him on to a lovely home

(could come to regret this later). On the Sunday I took him to his new

home and did some final tidying of my horse life. In the afternoon I

felt my normal fatigue set in (buggar it). Yesterday fatigue set in

around 11am so I guess I am now back to what seems to be normal for

me.

Over the last few days was I running on adrenaline? I am also

wondering what I might expect. I must have out myself under pressure

and just wondering if I might come down in a screaming heap. Maybe you

have some ideas for me.

At the moment I am on 240mg NT and some days I take 10mg HC but

generally it is only 5mg. I take the 10mg if I feel flat in the

morining but it doesn't really help.

Thanks Margo NZ