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Re:Speaking of Reclusive

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I am also quite happy to stay at home only going in town for groceries and

the library. I thought it was old age creeping in! My best friend died of a

long illness last January and today was her birthday. The first time in ages

I didn't send her a card. I am feeling berefit....no one in my life who

really knew me back in the day.

I am happy to just be home with my dogs and my honey. Weekends I get my

grandkids alot. I never really thought about how reclusive I was becoming was

connected to this disease. Wow. That's alot to think about!

Even at work I was reclusive in a sense. I was a weaver at Longaberger

baskets and I wore headphones and listened to music or books on tape while I

worked. A very clear message " I have to be here to make money but leave me

alone! "

I am always happy if I have company, but don't seek people out. I have

thought my life was full, but now I wonder? Maybe this was just a pattern I

got

into when I was so tired and ill. Maybe I should force myself to go to the

park with the dogs, etc. any comments?

Lorry

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I understand exactly how you feel. There are so many things I want

to do, so many that I used to. I just don't feel well enough. It is

very frustrating. I just long to get home from whereever I am so I

can rest and hopefully feel better. It's frustrating because

the " feel better " doesn't come. I want " me " back again. I am on

synthroid and I am hoping that if I get on Armour I will feel like

myself again.

> I was worried about how I would handle going to a CE seminar a

couple weeks ago. I needed to go. I wanted to go. I was fine before

and during, but after, we stopped at Pier 1 to look at glass

paperweights and I started to get fuzzy vision, light headedness,

that chest THING and palpitations in the store. I had to " rush "

slowly to the car to take some HC. It was all too much for me. Then

it took a few days for me to recover from that day. I have a long way

to go to be well.

>

> Roxanna

>

> North Star German Shepherd Dog Rescue Inc

> northstargsdr@e...

> www.northstargsdr.org

> Re: Re:Speaking of Reclusive

>

> Lorry

>

> I know eXACTLY what you're talking about here, but the more

important

> question is Are you truly happy being at home all the time, or is

it like

> me, having the thoughts run through your head that, yes, I would

LIKE to go

> here, go there, do this, do that, etc...but I feel unable to do

so because I

> feel either physically ill or mentally unable to, etc.....This is

the big

> difference here, I think. You don't have to answer ME on that,

but do

> answer yourself, for sure. I am more " settled " than I was with

> HYPERthyroid, and a resulting type of " bipolar " type behavior,

BUT I do feel

> in my mind like I WANT to do other things, but feel unable to. It

is NOT

> agorophobia, because I feel comfortable in public mentally and

emotionally

> while I am doing other things, it's just that I don't feel

physically able

> to carry it out when I'm feeling terrible or even just a

little " under the

> weather " . I have a lot of grandchildren now and love every one of

them, but

> I raised a lot of children, without anyone's help and with a

horrible

> marriage,, so I've got to say that I truly don't feel like

keeping children

> anymore at home, except for an hr or two here and there. I really

do WANT

> my own life, or my idea of it, but feel physically unable to

carry it out.

> Some women truly enjoy keeping their grandkids all the time and

truly feel

> true happiness at home. I've worked 8 hrs a day for the past 12

yrs., have

> been divorced for 12 and 1/2 of those yrs now, and other than

vacations and

> regular days off, I feel like I've been working outside my home

forever, so

> enjoy being at home more often, yet, I have these other feelings,

> constantly. You're not missing anything unless you FEEL you are.

I DO feel

> that I am missing something.

>

>

>

>

>

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,

I guess I really am ok with staying home. If I need to do something I can

go do it, but would just rather be here. I hate weddings, funerals, etc. I

don't even like to go to concerts anymore. The thought of all those people

and all the traffic makes me shudder!

I have my grandkids stay on the weekend whenever they can get away from

sports, etc. Hannah is 11, is 9, and Kimi is 7. Even little Kimi

has

an active social life. LOL! So, whenever we can they stay with me.

I, of course, have the added attraction of 5 beautiful puppies here. One

puppy, , is going to be their dog when he's old enough to go. he is

almost 6 weeks old now, so another 2 and he's good to go.

The puppies are turning into aot of work now since mama is weaning them and

I have to do the feeding and cleaning up! But, they are a joy with their

puppy breath and kisses. anyone wanting to see a photo of them email me and

I'll forward a photo.

I think I really am ok with being a hermit here at home, just a lingering

thought I should be more outgoing. I have a very loving and strong

relationship with my husband. The poor man ought to have a gold medal for

living

through this disease with me! Bless his heart!

Jim is really active in our local Sportsman's club and teaches kids Hunters

training. he is also big into archery and goes to archery shoots in a

tri-state area. He long ago gave up trying to get me to participate in that.

He

can go and have fun, I would rather crochet!

I am thinking of joining curves and think I should walk my dogs more. I

used to walk 3 miles a day. I think what really turned that off for me was the

colitis I experienced. I don't have that now (Thanks to piggy pills), so

maybe that is just a habit I got out of.

My granddaughter, Hannah, had a science experiment using pig's eyes--since

they are close to human eyes. Her teacher got them right from a slaughter

house so the kids could see the effects of chemical on the human eye. It

pretty

much grossed them all out.

Hannah said the principal was in the room when they did the experimant and

was so grossed out when the teacher had an eye with lashes attached that he

ran out of the room. LOL. I told Hannah to tell her Science teacher that her

Grandma loved pigs and thanks to them she has thyroid pills that gave her

her life back.

Lorry

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,

I guess I really am ok with staying home. If I need to do something I can

go do it, but would just rather be here. I hate weddings, funerals, etc. I

don't even like to go to concerts anymore. The thought of all those people

and all the traffic makes me shudder!

I have my grandkids stay on the weekend whenever they can get away from

sports, etc. Hannah is 11, is 9, and Kimi is 7. Even little Kimi

has

an active social life. LOL! So, whenever we can they stay with me.

I, of course, have the added attraction of 5 beautiful puppies here. One

puppy, , is going to be their dog when he's old enough to go. he is

almost 6 weeks old now, so another 2 and he's good to go.

The puppies are turning into aot of work now since mama is weaning them and

I have to do the feeding and cleaning up! But, they are a joy with their

puppy breath and kisses. anyone wanting to see a photo of them email me and

I'll forward a photo.

I think I really am ok with being a hermit here at home, just a lingering

thought I should be more outgoing. I have a very loving and strong

relationship with my husband. The poor man ought to have a gold medal for

living

through this disease with me! Bless his heart!

Jim is really active in our local Sportsman's club and teaches kids Hunters

training. he is also big into archery and goes to archery shoots in a

tri-state area. He long ago gave up trying to get me to participate in that.

He

can go and have fun, I would rather crochet!

I am thinking of joining curves and think I should walk my dogs more. I

used to walk 3 miles a day. I think what really turned that off for me was the

colitis I experienced. I don't have that now (Thanks to piggy pills), so

maybe that is just a habit I got out of.

My granddaughter, Hannah, had a science experiment using pig's eyes--since

they are close to human eyes. Her teacher got them right from a slaughter

house so the kids could see the effects of chemical on the human eye. It

pretty

much grossed them all out.

Hannah said the principal was in the room when they did the experimant and

was so grossed out when the teacher had an eye with lashes attached that he

ran out of the room. LOL. I told Hannah to tell her Science teacher that her

Grandma loved pigs and thanks to them she has thyroid pills that gave her

her life back.

Lorry

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