Re: darlene ......guilty plea

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Hon, I did not send that request to make anyone feel guilty.....I am

just trying to help the list and do what is best for it....:-) please do

not worry about it.....just want to make it easier for everyone. Are you

feeling better these days?? good to see you posting...

Sending hugs,

Darlene

> I'm so sorry. I know I'm guilty of this. I will really try to change.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Hon, I did not send that request to make anyone feel guilty.....I am

just trying to help the list and do what is best for it....:-) please do

not worry about it.....just want to make it easier for everyone. Are you

feeling better these days?? good to see you posting...

Sending hugs,

Darlene

> I'm so sorry. I know I'm guilty of this. I will really try to change.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I didn't think anything negative about your post... I just feel guilty

about everything. Remember. I'm Jewish. I have guilt for breakfast.

(haha). I'm more comfortable, as I have given up on doing much. I'm

adjusting to being in bed most of the time by finally decorating my

home. I guess I got so depressed there for awhile that my husband took

pity on me and went to work on the living room (where I lie when I'm

not in the bedroom). He also let me buy a new bed set (the one he

bought me last summer was gray and khaki and very drab and depressing,

but so thoughtful that I hated to complain about it). I bought a star

pattern quilt with three shams-- one I hung on the wall. I was able to

get out for a couple of hours two Sundays in a row (with the help of

amphetamines, which I have since sworn off as they make me too, too

talkative and emotional.

finished his built in bookcases (real oak and natural stain) and

cabinets (finally a place to put all my music and all of our family

games which we now so seldom play. We had family game night forever it

seems. Now I can con someone about once a month into playing scrabble

or battleship with me). also finished painting the walls a

great deep royal blue with true white trim. I bought some beautiful

light jacquard curtains with light brown leaves and blue flowers (the

pattern is large and whispy -- like oriental watercolors) there are

also random rectangles of sage greem both parallel to the walls and the

floor. I am hoping to put in a light sage green carpet with a pattern

cut into it. The curtains I did have in there for the past 3.5 years

were light blue chambray, and my mother is going to cut the off and

make valances and short curtains for my bedroom. I haven't decided

whether to have the walls painted butter color or light blue, but

either way, I'll have all the trim painted true white as well (the trim

is sage green now which does seriously clash with the olive green in

the quilt. Oh. The bedset didn't come with a skirt or valances. I

bought a cream colored one with a crochet lace wide border. I am

hoping to find that kind of trim for the valances mother is making.

So, as far as how I'm feeling, I'm trying to cheer myself up the best I

can. Two days a week are hell, three days are just exhausting, and

about two are fairly well tolerable, even though I'm limited in my

activities from lying about so much. was the one who talked me

into getting back on line and also simply writing again. I'm working up

my nerve into sending some old and new essays into an alternative but

popular hip weekly newspaper. An old college friend is managing editor

now, and although I haven't spoken to him in years, I'm fairly sure he

would publish my work, since he was a fan of my poetry back then and

also published some while he was still editing the university quarterly

for creative writing.

I know the chemo is doing as much as it can do. I can walk fine when I

have the energy to do so, and really the only obvious symptoms I still

have are some speech problems and a very terrible short term memory.

Lately my dysphasia has been more pronounced which worries the doctors

more than my aphasia which is much more common. My neuropathy is still

with me, but is usually much more of a blessing than a curse. My

neuralgia is completely controlled by drugs but my biggest pain comes

from bone and joint pain. The Remicade helps with that but the week

previous to my monthly RV the pain escalates something fierce. I am on

the methotrexate simply to keep the antibodies to the Remicade at bay.

I have been begging to go on something that is monthly or every other

week so I have more of a chance to build up my strength. He told me I

had to be on the mtx for one more month before he would consider a

change. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that another alternative

comes my way. As fas as I know the sarc hasn't spread anywhere new

(specifically to any other organs, even though some of my last blood

test results indicaate some damage to my liver and kidneys, the doc

doesn't know whether that's from the disease or the chemo. I'll find

our tommorow.

I may be absent for a couple of days, but I doubt it. I get my chemo

tomorrow at 11:00. I'll let you know if the ACE test results were

anything to worry about.

Hope things are going well for you, and please feel absolutely free to

cry on my shoulder any time. If you don't want to write to the whole

group, just send it to my earthlink.net address.

Take care,

> Dear ,

>      Hon, I did not send that request to make anyone feel guilty.....I

> am

> just trying to help the list and do what is best for it....:-)  

> please do

> not worry about it.....just want to make it easier for everyone.   Are

> you

> feeling better these days??   good to see you posting...

> Sending hugs,

> Darlene

>

>

>

>

>

> > I'm so sorry.  I know I'm guilty of this.  I will really try to

> change.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

> The Neurosarcoidosis Community

>

> Live Group Chat:-

> Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USA

> http://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.php

>

> Message Archives:-

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messages

>

> Members Database:-

> Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey I love playing scrabble and battleship.......LOL

Sometimes its hard to get someone to play it with you tho' I like playing here

on the computer all these different solitaire games i've downloaded there are

some i've never heard of my fav id pyramid solitaire.....

Love ya sweetie,

Time is a very precious gift of God;

so precious that it's only given to us

moment by moment..............

~~~~~~Amelia Barr

Jan