Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 wow, you are incredible. i will print this and read it when down, you are so right. thank god this group is here becasue i feel like i can finally ask whatever without fear of judgement. thanks again cecilia --- gemellodigiovanni wrote: > > cecilia: > > You are going through something that is normal. I > cried at the > thought of never tasting sweet vanilla ice cream or > eating until I > was stuffed, which I loved. Somehow, that feeling > of fullness from > overeating was comforting to me, and I'm sure to > many others. > > However, I had to ask myself if I was willing to let > this > relationship go. Was this a healthy relationship? > No. It's like a > bad marriage that you don't want to let go of > because you're used to > it, and you can't imagine anything better. Have > faith that there is > something better, much better. > > I can tell you that you have to believe that it is > possible to let > go. I no longer need to stuff those foods down > until I'm sick > because I've learned to take care of my needs in > different ways. I > speak positively to myself. I don't always let > others' needs come > first. I've found ways to nourish my soul because > that is what, I've > found, was making me so hungry. My soul was > starving from lack of > love. I never gave myself the unconditional love > that all of us > deserve. That is a HUGE change for me. > > I made a vow to myself to NEVER give up, to never > stop believing that > I could do this. Yes, I've had my bad times, really > bad times. But > I decided to treat myself like I'd treated everyone > else. I always > was there for everyone, but never for me. Now I > treat myself with > loving kindness. I keep the promise to do what is > right for me. Now > I realize that I deserved better treatment from me > and others. > > I don't love myself unconditionally because I lost > 148 lbs. I lost > 148 lbs because I learned to love myself > unconditionally. The love > had to come first. I had to love myself at my > highest weight when I > felt horrible. The love was inside of me. I just > had to turn it > inward. And now, that love, turned inward, reflects > outward ten fold. > > My PCP told me that I was radiant, beaming. I've > heard that many of > us post ops are described that way. It's as if some > flame has been > ignighted inside of us. That glow is a heart > receiving the love it > has been denied for far too long. > > The physical restriction of gastric bypass is > wonderful, but you'll > have to discover what nourishes YOU. Start > searching and planning > now because you don't want to wait until after > you've had the surgery > to do the hard work. If you nourish your soul, your > heart and your > mind, they will work together to help you make > better choices. That > mind-body-spirit connection will come together to > help you eat right, > drink your water, take you supplements and get your > exercise. > > I now can look at vanilla ice cream and know that it > does not control > me. I now know that it is just milk, cream, sugar > and vanilla. It > is not love. It is not safety. It is not hope. > > The feeling that food used to give me now comes from > life. I put out > postivity so it comes back to me. I am drawn to > positive people and > they to me. Hugging a good friend or a loved one > " tastes " so much > better than ice cream. Dancing like a smiling idiot > without > pain " tastes " sweeter than sugar. Fitting every > where without worry > fills my soul with joy in a way food never could. > > It is amazing to me how it is all interconnected. > If I work all > angles of the program the way I'm supposed to, > something happens. > It's like there is this positive energy that > snowballs into more > positive action. And if the snowball stops or gets > off course, it's > up to me to give it a nudge in the right direction. > > I now can depend on me to give it that nudge. I > have been > transformed by love, faith and hope. And it all > came from inside of > me. I know that that love exists inside all of us. > I know that that > love exists inside of you. Will you love yourself > unconditionally? > > Don't be scared. Keep on sharing your questions > with us. I hope > this helps. > > Does this make any sense? > > Gemello > -148 lbs > > > > > > im a glutton for punishment, but here it > comes...... > > > > i feel like im already staring a grieving process > (its sad) > > on not being able to eat big. im sure most of you > know that means > > eating a large meal with glee. sorry no other way > to describe it. > > do you really get that full after bypass? > > > > i really am going to miss my relationship with > food. it has been my > > ongoing best friend for ever. i know that i will > replace it with > > other hobbies, interests etc, but why cant it be > that eating alot > > made you loose weight? :)lol > > i guess my trigger now is the weather is cooling > and thats when i > > enjoy cooking hearty meals for everyone. i guess > thats the momma in > > me. anybody else been here? i really fo believe > that not asking > > the questions no matter what they are will keep me > alone and > > scared.....so thanks in advance cecilia > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 *S* I am learning that too. Even though the portions I take now are WAYY smaller than they were, I still seem to take too much. Only just today I took two small cereal spoonfulls of tuna salad and 6 olives for lunch...and I actually ate 4 of 6 olives, and all the tunasalad! Hooray! Love, Shell wrote: ,I hated having to sleep in the recliner for the first two weeks! I also agree with you when I see people eating big now I am amazed just how much everyone around me eats. I never really noticed it bbefore my surgry ,I to was a big eater. Now I do eat what I like protien first and I stop when I'm full. I am also a food snob lol says im such a picky eater lol. I do still have the head stuff though. If I am at a buffet I will fill my plate up thinking im going to eat it all and I never do. I am trying to learn to not do that.> > > > im a glutton for punishment, but here it comes......> > > > i feel like im already staring a grieving process (its sad)> > on not being able to eat big. im sure most of you know that means > > eating a large meal with glee. sorry no other way to describe it. > > do you really get that full after bypass?> > > > i really am going to miss my relationship with food. it has been my > > ongoing best friend for ever. i know that i will replace it with > > other hobbies, interests etc, but why cant it be that eating alot > > made you loose weight? :)lol> > i guess my trigger now is the weather is cooling and thats when i > > enjoy cooking hearty meals for everyone. i guess thats the momma in > > me. anybody else been here? i really fo believe that not asking > > the questions no matter what they are will keep me alone and > > scared.....so thanks in advance cecilia> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Do you Yahoo!?> Yahoo! Mail - Helps protect you from nasty viruses. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 Shanna, that makes total sense – I love your comment that the happiness you get now from being able to do more is so much greater than the sadness of missing food/big meals…that is so true! - Lesa - Re: big eating Hi cecilia, I know what you mean and yes there are those occasional times that I wish I could fit more into my pouch because I would really like to continue to eat whatever yummy thing is sitting in front of me. But, then I just try to remember what it felt like to weigh 400+ lbs and how much better I feel now (not at goal yet, but under 300.) And yes, you really do get very full and if you keep eating after the full feeling, it will come back up. For me its just about remembering the payoff for not being able to eat large amounts any longer...and the happiness comming from things I can do now is so much greater then the saddness from not being able to stuff myself. Hope that made sense. Shanna > > im a glutton for punishment, but here it comes...... > > i feel like im already staring a grieving process (its sad) > on not being able to eat big. im sure most of you know that means > eating a large meal with glee. sorry no other way to describe it. > do you really get that full after bypass? > > i really am going to miss my relationship with food. it has been my > ongoing best friend for ever. i know that i will replace it with > other hobbies, interests etc, but why cant it be that eating alot > made you loose weight? :)lol > i guess my trigger now is the weather is cooling and thats when i > enjoy cooking hearty meals for everyone. i guess thats the momma in > me. anybody else been here? i really fo believe that not asking > the questions no matter what they are will keep me alone and > scared.....so thanks in advance cecilia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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