Re: They don't understand this- JILL

[Guest guest]

Hey Jill,

I do understand that other's don't understand! I have a couple of people at

work who were questioning my leave time because I recently took a couple of days

off when my son was visiting and I have put in for 1 week for a trip to Mexico

in January. This was all gossip going on but eventually caught up with me. I

confronted the perpetrator and told her that she had no idea how I feel day in

and day out AND while she took multiple vacations over the summer, I was here at

work AND just because I have a chronic disease doesn't mean I do not deserve to

have a vacation. You know there's a verse in the Bible where it says something

to the effect of " before you removed the speck from your brothers eye, make sure

you remove the log in your own " . That's exactly how I viewed this. Most people

DO NOT understand this but some DO. I can only say that I gravitate more

towards the people who DO get it - but never lose faith in the ones that DON " T

get it. Hugs, Rita

jill higby wrote:

Kathleen,

It's funny how different people react to things differently. You say that you

get the " pitty attitude " I get the exact opposite. I don't tell people too

often unless I am in a position where I have to. Most of the people in my life

don't understand. My mother whom is a nurse and you would think would be more

understanding acts like it is just a scrape on the knee. The rest of my family

acts like it doesn't exist. Then there are/where the so called " friends " that

would call me a loser for not going out to bars late at night. Then there are my

real friends that try and understand but really can't. It is hard sometimes

because my 2 best friends are alcoholics... they have control over it... it

isn't like they are wasted all the time but usually if I want to hang out with

them on a night that we are all off work then i have to go to the bar and then

if I don't drink because I usually only will once a month.. everybody asks me

why I am not drinking and telling them that you are not a big

drinker and only occasionally drink well that is not acceptable. So I think that

in the long run nobody really understands and in some cases they really just

don't care... at least from what i have seen of people. I think that I am

attracting the wrong people in my life. All I want from friends and family is

understanding ... I wish that they would understand that some days i just don't

have the energy to do anything especially working full time at one job and part

time at another. I don't think that it should be that hard to ask! OK I am sorry

I will stop the complaining. It has been a rough week.

Kathleen wrote:

Ruminating about Pierre's latest posting...

I find those of us who develop kidney disease at a younger age are

much more " well adjusted " to it than someone who is faced with it at a

much later stage in life - more accepting, maybe? Generally by the

time we know what's going on and what it means for the rest of our

life, we've gotten used to the protocol, doctor visits, meds, and

dietary restrictions, etc., etc. So it doesn't seem so earth shaking

when we're going through the first stages of the disease and it's

diagnosis.

The one thing that does bother me, however, is (what I call) the

" pitying attitude " of others. And having CKD for so long, and looking

about 10 years younger than I really am, I see it a lot. It's gotten

to the point where I don't strike up conversations in the patient

waiting room at the nephrologists anymore and don't mention it to

co-workers and friends unless it's absolutely necessary or I know them

really, really well. Most seem to feel that it's a death sentance,

because they don't know much about kidney disease, or they only see

very sick and worn out people on dialysis. Rather than being a death

sentance for me, it's helped me to appreciate life more than the

average person does. Plus, I was taught at a very young age that I

needed to be able to manage my health care.

Kathleen

To edit your settings for the group, go to our Yahoo Group

home page:

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iga-nephropathy-unsubscribe

Visit our companion website at www.igan.ca. The site is entirely supported by

donations. If you would like to help, go to:

http://www.igan.ca/id62.htm

Thank you

[Guest guest]

PS - We are going to try to CANCEL our trip to Mexico in January. I'm just not

feeling good these days and don't feel like a trip out of the country is do-able

for me right now. I'm not bummed - I'm actually relieved. I'm soooooooo tired.

Rita

Rita Nucciarone wrote:Hey Jill,

I do understand that other's don't understand! I have a couple of people at

work who were questioning my leave time because I recently took a couple of days

off when my son was visiting and I have put in for 1 week for a trip to Mexico

in January. This was all gossip going on but eventually caught up with me. I

confronted the perpetrator and told her that she had no idea how I feel day in

and day out AND while she took multiple vacations over the summer, I was here at

work AND just because I have a chronic disease doesn't mean I do not deserve to

have a vacation. You know there's a verse in the Bible where it says something

to the effect of " before you removed the speck from your brothers eye, make sure

you remove the log in your own " . That's exactly how I viewed this. Most people

DO NOT understand this but some DO. I can only say that I gravitate more

towards the people who DO get it - but never lose faith in the ones that DON " T

get it. Hugs, Rita

jill higby wrote:

Kathleen,

It's funny how different people react to things differently. You say that you

get the " pitty attitude " I get the exact opposite. I don't tell people too

often unless I am in a position where I have to. Most of the people in my life

don't understand. My mother whom is a nurse and you would think would be more

understanding acts like it is just a scrape on the knee. The rest of my family

acts like it doesn't exist. Then there are/where the so called " friends " that

would call me a loser for not going out to bars late at night. Then there are my

real friends that try and understand but really can't. It is hard sometimes

because my 2 best friends are alcoholics... they have control over it... it

isn't like they are wasted all the time but usually if I want to hang out with

them on a night that we are all off work then i have to go to the bar and then

if I don't drink because I usually only will once a month.. everybody asks me

why I am not drinking and telling them that you are not a big

drinker and only occasionally drink well that is not acceptable. So I think that

in the long run nobody really understands and in some cases they really just

don't care... at least from what i have seen of people. I think that I am

attracting the wrong people in my life. All I want from friends and family is

understanding ... I wish that they would understand that some days i just don't

have the energy to do anything especially working full time at one job and part

time at another. I don't think that it should be that hard to ask! OK I am sorry

I will stop the complaining. It has been a rough week.

Kathleen wrote:

Ruminating about Pierre's latest posting...

I find those of us who develop kidney disease at a younger age are

much more " well adjusted " to it than someone who is faced with it at a

much later stage in life - more accepting, maybe? Generally by the

time we know what's going on and what it means for the rest of our

life, we've gotten used to the protocol, doctor visits, meds, and

dietary restrictions, etc., etc. So it doesn't seem so earth shaking

when we're going through the first stages of the disease and it's

diagnosis.

The one thing that does bother me, however, is (what I call) the

" pitying attitude " of others. And having CKD for so long, and looking

about 10 years younger than I really am, I see it a lot. It's gotten

to the point where I don't strike up conversations in the patient

waiting room at the nephrologists anymore and don't mention it to

co-workers and friends unless it's absolutely necessary or I know them

really, really well. Most seem to feel that it's a death sentance,

because they don't know much about kidney disease, or they only see

very sick and worn out people on dialysis. Rather than being a death

sentance for me, it's helped me to appreciate life more than the

average person does. Plus, I was taught at a very young age that I

needed to be able to manage my health care.

Kathleen

To edit your settings for the group, go to our Yahoo Group

home page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iga-nephropathy/

To unsubcribe via email,

iga-nephropathy-unsubscribe

Visit our companion website at www.igan.ca. The site is entirely supported by

donations. If you would like to help, go to:

http://www.igan.ca/id62.htm

Thank you

[Guest guest]

Rita,

I wish you were out here. You and I could both put our feet up and

celebrate by

DOING AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!

Cy

Re: " They don't understand this " - JILL

>

> PS - We are going to try to CANCEL our trip to Mexico in January. I'm

just not feeling good these days and don't feel like a trip out of the

country is do-able for me right now. I'm not bummed - I'm actually

relieved. I'm soooooooo tired. Rita

>

> Rita Nucciarone wrote:Hey Jill,

>

> I do understand that other's don't understand! I have a couple of people

at work who were questioning my leave time because I recently took a couple

of days off when my son was visiting and I have put in for 1 week for a trip

to Mexico in January. This was all gossip going on but eventually caught up

with me. I confronted the perpetrator and told her that she had no idea how

I feel day in and day out AND while she took multiple vacations over the

summer, I was here at work AND just because I have a chronic disease doesn't

mean I do not deserve to have a vacation. You know there's a verse in the

Bible where it says something to the effect of " before you removed the speck

from your brothers eye, make sure you remove the log in your own " . That's

exactly how I viewed this. Most people DO NOT understand this but some DO.

I can only say that I gravitate more towards the people who DO get it - but

never lose faith in the ones that DON " T get it. Hugs, Rita

>

> jill higby wrote:

> Kathleen,

> It's funny how different people react to things differently. You say that

you get the " pitty attitude " I get the exact opposite. I don't tell people

too often unless I am in a position where I have to. Most of the people in

my life don't understand. My mother whom is a nurse and you would think

would be more understanding acts like it is just a scrape on the knee. The

rest of my family acts like it doesn't exist. Then there are/where the so

called " friends " that would call me a loser for not going out to bars late

at night. Then there are my real friends that try and understand but really

can't. It is hard sometimes because my 2 best friends are alcoholics... they

have control over it... it isn't like they are wasted all the time but

usually if I want to hang out with them on a night that we are all off work

then i have to go to the bar and then if I don't drink because I usually

only will once a month.. everybody asks me why I am not drinking and telling

them that you are not a big

> drinker and only occasionally drink well that is not acceptable. So I

think that in the long run nobody really understands and in some cases they

really just don't care... at least from what i have seen of people. I think

that I am attracting the wrong people in my life. All I want from friends

and family is understanding ... I wish that they would understand that some

days i just don't have the energy to do anything especially working full

time at one job and part time at another. I don't think that it should be

that hard to ask! OK I am sorry I will stop the complaining. It has been a

rough week.

>

> Kathleen wrote:

> Ruminating about Pierre's latest posting...

>

> I find those of us who develop kidney disease at a younger age are

> much more " well adjusted " to it than someone who is faced with it at a

> much later stage in life - more accepting, maybe? Generally by the

> time we know what's going on and what it means for the rest of our

> life, we've gotten used to the protocol, doctor visits, meds, and

> dietary restrictions, etc., etc. So it doesn't seem so earth shaking

> when we're going through the first stages of the disease and it's

> diagnosis.

>

> The one thing that does bother me, however, is (what I call) the

> " pitying attitude " of others. And having CKD for so long, and looking

> about 10 years younger than I really am, I see it a lot. It's gotten

> to the point where I don't strike up conversations in the patient

> waiting room at the nephrologists anymore and don't mention it to

> co-workers and friends unless it's absolutely necessary or I know them

> really, really well. Most seem to feel that it's a death sentance,

> because they don't know much about kidney disease, or they only see

> very sick and worn out people on dialysis. Rather than being a death

> sentance for me, it's helped me to appreciate life more than the

> average person does. Plus, I was taught at a very young age that I

> needed to be able to manage my health care.

>

> Kathleen

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> To edit your settings for the group, go to our Yahoo Group

> home page:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iga-nephropathy/

>

> To unsubcribe via email,

> iga-nephropathy-unsubscribe

> Visit our companion website at www.igan.ca. The site is entirely supported

by donations. If you would like to help, go to:

> http://www.igan.ca/id62.htm

>

> Thank you

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I wish so too Cy! LOL

Cy Webb wrote:Rita,

I wish you were out here. You and I could both put our feet up and

celebrate by

DOING AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!

Cy

Re: " They don't understand this " - JILL

>

> PS - We are going to try to CANCEL our trip to Mexico in January. I'm

just not feeling good these days and don't feel like a trip out of the

country is do-able for me right now. I'm not bummed - I'm actually

relieved. I'm soooooooo tired. Rita

>

> Rita Nucciarone wrote:Hey Jill,

>

> I do understand that other's don't understand! I have a couple of people

at work who were questioning my leave time because I recently took a couple

of days off when my son was visiting and I have put in for 1 week for a trip

to Mexico in January. This was all gossip going on but eventually caught up

with me. I confronted the perpetrator and told her that she had no idea how

I feel day in and day out AND while she took multiple vacations over the

summer, I was here at work AND just because I have a chronic disease doesn't

mean I do not deserve to have a vacation. You know there's a verse in the

Bible where it says something to the effect of " before you removed the speck

from your brothers eye, make sure you remove the log in your own " . That's

exactly how I viewed this. Most people DO NOT understand this but some DO.

I can only say that I gravitate more towards the people who DO get it - but

never lose faith in the ones that DON " T get it. Hugs, Rita

>

> jill higby wrote:

> Kathleen,

> It's funny how different people react to things differently. You say that

you get the " pitty attitude " I get the exact opposite. I don't tell people

too often unless I am in a position where I have to. Most of the people in

my life don't understand. My mother whom is a nurse and you would think

would be more understanding acts like it is just a scrape on the knee. The

rest of my family acts like it doesn't exist. Then there are/where the so

called " friends " that would call me a loser for not going out to bars late

at night. Then there are my real friends that try and understand but really

can't. It is hard sometimes because my 2 best friends are alcoholics... they

have control over it... it isn't like they are wasted all the time but

usually if I want to hang out with them on a night that we are all off work

then i have to go to the bar and then if I don't drink because I usually

only will once a month.. everybody asks me why I am not drinking and telling

them that you are not a big

> drinker and only occasionally drink well that is not acceptable. So I

think that in the long run nobody really understands and in some cases they

really just don't care... at least from what i have seen of people. I think

that I am attracting the wrong people in my life. All I want from friends

and family is understanding ... I wish that they would understand that some

days i just don't have the energy to do anything especially working full

time at one job and part time at another. I don't think that it should be

that hard to ask! OK I am sorry I will stop the complaining. It has been a

rough week.

>

> Kathleen wrote:

> Ruminating about Pierre's latest posting...

>

> I find those of us who develop kidney disease at a younger age are

> much more " well adjusted " to it than someone who is faced with it at a

> much later stage in life - more accepting, maybe? Generally by the

> time we know what's going on and what it means for the rest of our

> life, we've gotten used to the protocol, doctor visits, meds, and

> dietary restrictions, etc., etc. So it doesn't seem so earth shaking

> when we're going through the first stages of the disease and it's

> diagnosis.

>

> The one thing that does bother me, however, is (what I call) the

> " pitying attitude " of others. And having CKD for so long, and looking

> about 10 years younger than I really am, I see it a lot. It's gotten

> to the point where I don't strike up conversations in the patient

> waiting room at the nephrologists anymore and don't mention it to

> co-workers and friends unless it's absolutely necessary or I know them

> really, really well. Most seem to feel that it's a death sentance,

> because they don't know much about kidney disease, or they only see

> very sick and worn out people on dialysis. Rather than being a death

> sentance for me, it's helped me to appreciate life more than the

> average person does. Plus, I was taught at a very young age that I

> needed to be able to manage my health care.

>

> Kathleen

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> To edit your settings for the group, go to our Yahoo Group

> home page:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iga-nephropathy/

>

> To unsubcribe via email,

> iga-nephropathy-unsubscribe

> Visit our companion website at www.igan.ca. The site is entirely supported

by donations. If you would like to help, go to:

> http://www.igan.ca/id62.htm

>

> Thank you

>

>

>