RE: Re: Janie and the 4 Rules

[Guest guest]

AMEN MIKKI...you are sooo articulate!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/24/2002 4:03:13 PM Central Standard Time,

terry@... writes:

> We are ALL " bad " at some time or another, don't let anyone

> lie to you and tell you otherwise. We're human, we're obese (or formerly

> obese people living in smaller bodies), we have a disease (as Vitalady

> says). We're going to screw up now and then. That doesn't mean we

> shouldn't have the surgery or don't deserve it.

Phewwwwww. Thanks Terry. I needed that. I've been a bad bad girl lately amd

feeling very depressed/guilty about it but I am taking it one day at a time

trying to get back on track.

Janet in Central NY

[Guest guest]

I've been following this " rules " thread and trying to decide what to - or

not to - post. I tend to get very passionate about things and shoot my

mouth off without thinking so I've sat back on this one so far. First of

all, I do not follow these " rules " . They are someone else's rules, they

work for someone else, they do not work for me. My rules are:

1 - get in my protein and vites every day

2 - no sugar

3 - no milk (basically another version of sugar)

Those are my " Rules That Should Never Be Broken " . Do I break them? Yes,

occasionally. Am I doomed to failure? I bought a size SMALL (Yippee!!!)

shirt yesterday, do I sound like a failure? In addition to these rules, I

also try to eat mostly healthy foods (veggies and protein) and limit the

carbs. Not because carbs are unhealthy, but because they don't do good

things for ME. I said that I TRY, not that it's what I always do.

I know people who have had this surgery and were in a wheelchair. They

could not exercise. Others, like me, just can't find the time to exercise

regularly, but I do try to get some in as often as possible. Not exercising

regularly does not mean that I'm a failure, nor is it something that someone

should use against me to say " well, there you are, it's your fault that you

didn't lose " . Who here can stand up and say that they are perfect - that

they eat perfectly, exercise perfectly, take their supplements perfectly,

etc.? None of us. Even Vitalady admits to her Peeps and frosting incidents

and that she doesn't exercise regularly. She doesn't follow rules that

someone else says she has to, she follows the rules that work for HER. Some

of them are what she learned from her surgeon, some are things she's learned

along the way. I can't imagine the person who will stand up and accuse her

of being a failure because she doesn't follow the rules that they say she

should. We all need to find the rules that work for us. Just as I've never

heard her tell someone that they are a failure because they don't follow HER

rules.

I read that someone posted that we shouldn't have carbonation because it

will rip our pouch open and we will die - or something like that. Um, most

of us learned how to burp when we were infants, so that's not very likely to

happen. I know tons of post-ops who drink soda and are at goal weight (or

have maintained or are still losing). I'm fairly sure that their pouches

are not " ripped open " , but I haven't scoped them or anything, so I'm not

sure. lol.

To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering canceling

their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure if you

don't follow their rules, ignore them. If they're under a year out, they're

still in their honeymoon period and not living in the " real " post-op world

yet. When I was a new post-op, I thought that as long as everyone followed

my rules, they'd be a success too. I had a very rude awakening when I

discovered that my rules didn't even work for me anymore. I modified them a

little based on what I learned and when on from there. I then had a

revision later and had to modify them again. Listen to the long term

post-ops for your long-term post-op advice. That's what I do. I look to

the people who are farther out than I am for advice on what works and what

doesn't when I'm in a situation that I need help with.

If you have done your research and are ready to commit to changing your

life, then you should have this surgery. If you're expecting a miracle cure

for obesity, you're in for a shock. The surgery makes it a lot easier to

follow a more healthy eating program, but it's not a lobotomy. A lot of the

work is done by us.

What you need to ask yourself is if you can commit to making life altering

changes that will allow you to work with your surgery. Can you commit to

being " good " MOST of the time, and working hard to overcome those times when

you're " bad " . We are ALL " bad " at some time or another, don't let anyone

lie to you and tell you otherwise. We're human, we're obese (or formerly

obese people living in smaller bodies), we have a disease (as Vitalady

says). We're going to screw up now and then. That doesn't mean we

shouldn't have the surgery or don't deserve it. If we don't get to goal,

that doesn't mean that we failed or it's our fault because we didn't

exercise or drink enough water or whatever.

------------------------------------------------

Terry Mayers

5DollarHosting.comR

http://www.5dollarhosting.com

(877)-838-HOST /

.... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R

[Guest guest]

Terry,

Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have to keep them

in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at times. In the

ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But you know what.......

none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

Hugs,

Romero

noliptoday@...

Louisiana

381/266/160

Lap RNY 5-29-2002

FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering canceling

their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure if you

don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear that you've been feeling so bad, I can certainly relate

though. I'm just making sure that I get my protein and vitamins in and

doing what I can with the rest. Don't beat yourself up too much. For me,

that always leads to a binge.

------------------------------------------------

Terry Mayers

5DollarHosting.comR

http://www.5dollarhosting.com

(877)-838-HOST /

.... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R

Re: Re: Janie and the 4 " Rules "

In a message dated 12/24/2002 4:03:13 PM Central Standard Time,

terry@... writes:

> We are ALL " bad " at some time or another, don't let anyone

> lie to you and tell you otherwise. We're human, we're obese (or

formerly

> obese people living in smaller bodies), we have a disease (as Vitalady

> says). We're going to screw up now and then. That doesn't mean we

> shouldn't have the surgery or don't deserve it.

Phewwwwww. Thanks Terry. I needed that. I've been a bad bad girl lately

amd

feeling very depressed/guilty about it but I am taking it one day at a

time

trying to get back on track.

Janet in Central NY

[Guest guest]

OK friends let me put my 2cents in,here i feel that there is no perfect

way of this new life we all have to find our own good way to get

through , at this time of the year we should all be grateful that we had

a chance to have this surgery and survive and be able to have our

support group all of our

opinions and rules work ,what`s why we have this group, so wheather we

have hair ,skin or

eating issues , be glad we have a higher power who gave our surgeons

their hands and brains to

HELP US, Merry Christmas to all and to al a goodnight Ethel Oh yes

and it is snowing in my part

of the world and the candles & tree are lit and the salt truck just

through ,darn didn`t that upset

the picture, not PERFECT HAH! Ethel

Romero wrote:

> Terry,

> Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have to

> keep them in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at

> times. In the ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But

> you know what....... none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

> Hugs,

> Romero

> noliptoday@...

> Louisiana

> 381/266/160

> Lap RNY 5-29-2002

> FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>

> >>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering

> canceling

> their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure

> if you

> don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I sure don't either. If I had the ideal situation, I wouldn't have needed

this surgery. Instead of an ideal situation, I got a disease called morbid

obesity. My demon right now is bread (sandwiches, toast, etc.). Very

strange, because I never was a bread person before. I go through phases

though, so I know that this one will pass. Hopefully the next one will be

something good like cauliflower. Usually it's something harmless like

that - a raw veggie & dip, rice cakes & cottage cheese, cheese cubes &

mustard. This bread one is awful though.

------------------------------------------------

Terry Mayers

5DollarHosting.comR

http://www.5dollarhosting.com

(877)-838-HOST /

.... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R

Re: Re: Janie and the 4 " Rules "

Terry,

Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have to keep

them in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at times.

In the ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But you know

what....... none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

Hugs,

Romero

noliptoday@...

Louisiana

381/266/160

Lap RNY 5-29-2002

FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering

canceling

their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure if

you

don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

[Guest guest]

Terry ,i know what you mean about the bread and stuff, just my opinion,

but my Chiropractor

says that when I have those cravings that means my body needs

something in them ,so i indulge a little , But i also know if i

overindulge that i not only will gain but also suffer a fibro my al gia

flair of pains ,and i don`t need that either, what i do is take each day

as it comes and try to do the

best i can ,if you can there is a book that is called Carbohydrates ,

calories, & fat .

it is a big calorie counter with carbs in it also ,and it is great just

to find out carb count for foods ,we all know we still need to watch the

carbs so why not do it right and make those old books and magazines we

bought all the time finally count for something, Ethel

Terry Mayers wrote:

> I sure don't either. If I had the ideal situation, I wouldn't have needed

> this surgery. Instead of an ideal situation, I got a disease called

> morbid

> obesity. My demon right now is bread (sandwiches, toast, etc.). Very

> strange, because I never was a bread person before. I go through phases

> though, so I know that this one will pass. Hopefully the next one will be

> something good like cauliflower. Usually it's something harmless like

> that - a raw veggie & dip, rice cakes & cottage cheese, cheese cubes &

> mustard. This bread one is awful though.

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------

> Terry Mayers

> 5DollarHosting.comR

> http://www.5dollarhosting.com

> (877)-838-HOST /

>

> ... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R

>

> Re: Re: Janie and the 4 " Rules "

>

>

> Terry,

> Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have

> to keep

> them in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at times.

> In the ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But you know

> what....... none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

> Hugs,

> Romero

> noliptoday@...

> Louisiana

> 381/266/160

> Lap RNY 5-29-2002

> FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>

> >>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering

> canceling

> their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure if

> you

> don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Terry also 2 slices of white bread has 22grs. of carbs ,why not try a

small baked potatoe with

broccoli & cauliflower and chesse even if it`s only half ,that will give

carbs and potassium and veggies and good stuff Ethel

Terry Mayers wrote:

> I sure don't either. If I had the ideal situation, I wouldn't have needed

> this surgery. Instead of an ideal situation, I got a disease called

> morbid

> obesity. My demon right now is bread (sandwiches, toast, etc.). Very

> strange, because I never was a bread person before. I go through phases

> though, so I know that this one will pass. Hopefully the next one will be

> something good like cauliflower. Usually it's something harmless like

> that - a raw veggie & dip, rice cakes & cottage cheese, cheese cubes &

> mustard. This bread one is awful though.

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------

> Terry Mayers

> 5DollarHosting.comR

> http://www.5dollarhosting.com

> (877)-838-HOST /

>

> ... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R

>

> Re: Re: Janie and the 4 " Rules "

>

>

> Terry,

> Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have

> to keep

> them in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at times.

> In the ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But you know

> what....... none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

> Hugs,

> Romero

> noliptoday@...

> Louisiana

> 381/266/160

> Lap RNY 5-29-2002

> FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>

> >>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering

> canceling

> their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure if

> you

> don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Send snow!

Thanks,

Vitalady T

www.vitalady.com

If you are interested in PayPal, please click here:

https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com

Re: Re: Janie and the 4 " Rules "

OK friends let me put my 2cents in,here i feel that there is no perfect

way of this new life we all have to find our own good way to get

through , at this time of the year we should all be grateful that we had

a chance to have this surgery and survive and be able to have our

support group all of our

opinions and rules work ,what`s why we have this group, so wheather we

have hair ,skin or

eating issues , be glad we have a higher power who gave our surgeons

their hands and brains to

HELP US, Merry Christmas to all and to al a goodnight Ethel Oh yes

and it is snowing in my part

of the world and the candles & tree are lit and the salt truck just

through ,darn didn`t that upset

the picture, not PERFECT HAH! Ethel

Romero wrote:

> Terry,

> Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have to

> keep them in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at

> times. In the ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But

> you know what....... none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

> Hugs,

> Romero

> noliptoday@...

> Louisiana

> 381/266/160

> Lap RNY 5-29-2002

> FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>

> >>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering

> canceling

> their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure

> if you

> don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the info Ethel. When I was a new post-op I had books like that,

and I still read labels for the sugar content of stuff. You're right, the

best thing we can do is take each day at a time and eventually one day will

turn into two days, then three days, then the carb hold will be broken.

------------------------------------------------

Terry Mayers

5DollarHosting.comR

http://www.5dollarhosting.com

(877)-838-HOST /

.... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R

Re: Re: Janie and the 4 " Rules "

>

>

> Terry,

> Very Well put. I agree 100%. We each have our demons, and have

> to keep

> them in check. Whether peeps or something else. We all fail at times.

> In the ideal situation, yes Mikki and others are right. But you know

> what....... none of us have an ideal situation. I sure don't.

> Hugs,

> Romero

> noliptoday@...

> Louisiana

> 381/266/160

> Lap RNY 5-29-2002

> FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us

>

> >>To Janey and anyone else reading this thread who is considering

> canceling

> their surgery because someone else says that you're doomed to failure

if

> you

> don't follow their rules, ignore them. <<

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

And I see soemthing totally different that you do.. I saw Mikki in NO WAY

rude or vicious to Jane...YOU SHOULD go back and read the archives SOME

MORE...Mikki explained why following the rules was important in a very brisk

way, not AT ALL rude and then said that she would pray for Jane, Jane then

told her in her next post to go STRAIGHT TO HELL...and MIKKI should be

ASHAMED of HERSELF? You have an interesting point of view.

This thread should probably stop right here.

In a message dated 12/25/02 10:19:50 AM Eastern Standard Time,

nusswabbie@... writes:

> There is a difference between worrying about not being able to follow

> >a routine of some sort and saying you shouldn't have to..

>

> I read the archives on this, and I don't think this is what she was saying

> at all.

>

> Why is it that when someone questions their own ability to do something --

> lacks confidence -- you automatically assume that they're too lazy, or too

> stupid, or too unmotivated? And why is it that you automatically assume

> that it's okay for you to be rude and vicious to them? Don't you remember

> when people told *you* there was nothing more to weight loss than pushing

> yourself away from the table? When they said *you* were just lazy, or

> stupid, or unmotivated?

>

> I feel sorry for people who use small successes to pump up their own egos

> to the point where they feel superior to others who are in the same boat

> they used to be in.

>

> Mikki, you should be ashamed of yourself. But you probably won't.

>

> MJ

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

MJ,

You know, I didn't realize until you pointed it out, but that is exactly

why this thread rubbed me the wrong way. It reminded me way too much of

all those people telling that I was fat because I was

lazy/weak-willed/stupid/insert-your-own-insult and that I could easily

lose the weight if I would just push away from the table/not take

seconds/not snack/eat only healthy foods/exercise more/insert your own

advice. These were mostly people who had never been where I was.

What's so upsetting with this whole thread is that we have all been

there and should understand. To me, it seemed that Janey wasn't asking

for permission to continue with bad habits, but rather that she was

asking for reassurance that the surgery will still work for her if she's

not perfect. And yes, the surgery WILL work even if you're not perfect.

Of course it will work better if you are perfect in your eating habits,

but then again, so will Weight Watchers.

Terry Mayers

-------------------------------------------------

MJ wrote:

> At 10:06 12/24/2002, you wrote:

> >There is a difference between worrying about not being able to follow

> >a routine of some sort and saying you shouldn't have to..

>

> I read the archives on this, and I don't think this is what she was

> saying

> at all.

>

> Why is it that when someone questions their own ability to do

> something --

> lacks confidence -- you automatically assume that they're too lazy, or

> too

> stupid, or too unmotivated? And why is it that you automatically assume

> that it's okay for you to be rude and vicious to them? Don't you

> remember

> when people told *you* there was nothing more to weight loss than pushing

> yourself away from the table? When they said *you* were just lazy, or

> stupid, or unmotivated?

>

> I feel sorry for people who use small successes to pump up their own egos

> to the point where they feel superior to others who are in the same boat

> they used to be in.

>

> Mikki, you should be ashamed of yourself. But you probably won't.

>

> MJ

>

>

>

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