Re: life and purpose

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for sharing, and recognizing that we do (all) have a purpose in life. I know that many times I too have questioned what roll I have here on earth, and angered over being ill, and the price it has taken, emotionally and physically.

, some of my frustration with you is that I see that you-- whom I've never met except online-- has a purpose on this earth. I don't know what your's is. I know the path your on isn't an easy one-- but where do we come up with the idea it is supposed to be.

I look upon this journey as being one of learning as much as I can about my disease, and with that knowledge, and giving my body over to the MD's for their clinical trials-- maybe some day the next person diagnosed with sarcoidosis won't have to go thru the crap I've had to. So I fight, with drugs, with different treatments, and I refuse to believe that I can't get a "wee" touch better.

I'm not yet housebound, and yes, I have a car to drive-- 1994 Toyota with 200,000 miles on it-- but it keeps on ticking. Yep, we panic when we had to spend $1500 to fix it this year, hopefully we won't have to plug more into it. Paying the credit card bill every month isn't fun either, but it is necessary that I use it to get to and from LA.

Monday when you read this, I hope that you will take a moment to think about what you do have -- a wife that seems to be sticking with you, even tho you send messages that you don't think you deserve her. A daughter that keeps hanging around for you, because somewhere in her heart she still loves you. You have your medical care thru Veterans, although not optimal-- at least you have care. You have a transportation system that can get you where you need to go--I realize that it's hard to use because we don't always operate on their time schedule-- but we can if we need to.

, I hope you'll seek help for your depression-- if you get the chemicals in your brain balanced, the rest of the body can sometimes follow.

Sincerely,

Tracie