Today Was Challenging

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

I have had a challenging day so I hope you don't mind me venting. I wanted

to eat so much crap today and said no to so many things... THANK GOD FOR

STRENGTH .... Today is my Mother's birthday. She died 12-12-02 and usually I

gorge on food on her birthday, death date, and mother's day and the holidays can

be very challenging. I usually will eat a huge meal in her honor for her

birthday and cake to boot to celebrate her... all the while its really been

about me eating to hide away the emotional side of not being able to call her

and tell her happy birthday and how much I love her. I would give anything to

hear her voice again. I know that since 9/11 happened, it is harder for me to

ignore the date, not counting how bad I feel for all the lives that were changed

on this date and lost.

I truly hope you all are doing well on this day. I am so proud of myself for

not gorging AT ALL!!!! I have to say that the night is not over and I can still

feel the want to do so.. but, as I handed out cake to my kids in celebration of

my mother, I took one small bite and walked away and honestly, I don't want

it... The first thought in my head is that she would not want me to sabatage

myself and it's not worth it. My emotional eating seems to be getting better, I

think today because I could prepare for it better. I just miss her so very much.

Thank you for letting me vent this...Thank you for being more then just

group members to me, but friends.

Best Wishes,

Shauna

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