Guest guest Posted June 16, 1999 Report Share Posted June 16, 1999 Wendi, Thank you so much for responding! You don't know how hard it sometimes is to just let go and trust my instincts. What you said about her not being ready to just play by herself...and needing to know I'll still be there makes a lot of sense....selfishly, I guess I figured I might actually start getting SOMETHING done...but in light of the lullaby, who cares if the dishes stack up one more day! Love, Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 16, 1999 Report Share Posted June 16, 1999 Joan, You sound like a very dedicated mommy. I am glad the lullabye cheered you up. It did me too that's why I passed it on. As far as your questions. I am a big promoter of the family bed and my 19 month old still wakes up at least 2-3 times per night so I hope it is normal. LOL I think you need to trust yourself and your baby and do what feels right and forget what other people say. As for the crying this is very normal when they accomplish a new task. Its kind of like she can now sit up and wants to make sure you're not just going to leave her sitting all the time. She is testing to make sure you are still available. Keep responding to her right away and she will start to learn that even though she is getting more independent she can still count on you. She might just not be ready to play by herself. It takes some babies a long time to accomplish that task. Keep up the good work it sounds like everything is great. Wendi Is is unreasonable to think that she could play for 5-10 minutes on her own? She sits up wonderfully (6 1/2 months old) and she's starting to get up on all 4s and rock. She crawls backwards great! Thanks a million! Love, Joan ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list members? http://www.onelist.com Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, meetings and more! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Breastfeeding is Best!! http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding http://forums.delphi.com/bf_list/start If you like this list also check out http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 16, 1999 Report Share Posted June 16, 1999 I do that with Ethan still of a night and he is 14 monthes old. It doesn't really bother me that he does of course he sleeps with me. I think there is nothing wrong with a baby sleeping with their parents. I think that it is normal. I wouldn't worry to much about it though. Ethan quit for a while and then he started again when he was 11 monthes. Even after I quit breastfeeding I will still let him sleep with me. As for not letting her cry I think that is faboluos (sp?) She is just overly attached to her mom. No bigg. She will only be little for a little while. Then she will grow up. She feels scaried if she is away from you. Ethan was the same way. I hope I helped you with your questions, @~~~ -- >From: Jefkarp@... > >Thank-you for sending that lullaby. Just today, I was feeling a little bit >bad that I wasn't getting more STUFF done around the house. But you're right: >my sweet babe is so much more important....and she's half a year old already >(and almost 30 " long and 23 pounds!!!). > >I have a couple of questions that maybe some of you great mommies could help >me with. >1.) Helen Ann sleeps with me, and still awakens (slightly, it's more like >rooting, but sometimes she gets upset if I don't get the breast to her >QUICKLY!) 2 and sometimes 3 or 4 times a night to eat. Is that normal? I >don't really feed her anything else but breastmilk (we dabble a few times a >week with some oats because she so enjoys watching and mimicking mommy and >daddy eating)....and she nurses whenever she wants during the day....we have >no regular schedule. Is this normal? Everybody tells me that I've started a >bad habit having her sleep with us, and that she should be sleeping through >the night by now. I LOVE having her sleep with me....cuddling with her is >FABULOUS, and I don't really mind the waking to eat, I just wondered. > >This next question is off topic, i.e. has nothing to do with breastfeeding. >2.) Lately she has NOT wanted me to really put her down at all. I am maybe >not the strictest adherer to attachment parenting, but I wear her in our >sling during household errands...and when I'm in the bathroom, I even take >her with me and have her sit in her stroller or seat....what I'm saying is >that I don't wind up a swing (we don't have one) and just let her go for >minutes and minutes on end. >Today, after our bath together, I sat her out as I usually do, wrapped in >several towels, in her seat/recliner. Usually she " sings " and watches the >shower curtain...sometimes fusses a bit, but nothing BIG....but today, she >sobbed! Huge tears and everything. And she did the same thing when I sat her >down to play. Any ideas? I always pick her up within seconds of when she gets >fussy....I don't let her " cry it out " or anything. > >Is is unreasonable to think that she could play for 5-10 minutes on her own? >She sits up wonderfully (6 1/2 months old) and she's starting to get up on >all 4s and rock. She crawls backwards great! >Thanks a million! >Love, >Joan > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list members? >http://www.onelist.com >Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, meetings and more! >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Breastfeeding is Best!! >http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding >http://forums.delphi.com/bf_list/start > >If you like this list also check out http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies > -- Visit http://www.ivillage.com for your FREE iVillage.com email account. iVillage.com: The #1 Women's Network -- Real Solutions for Real Women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 3:12:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time, naturebaby@... writes: << I didn't realize so many people had heard it before. It was the first time I had seen it and just wanted to pass it along as it has always been my philosophy much to the dismay of my MIL. Wendi >> I SECOND THAT......LOL!!! And my Dh, who is CONTANSTLY Comparing me to his mother, and I finally had it the other night, when he JUST SO HAPPENED to notice, I had not dusted the T.V. NEVER MIND, the fact that was the ONLY thing that had not been done yet....but he noticed that ONE thing...ARGH! But I told him, I AM NOT HIS mother, and if he wants to have someone to wipe his butt, then he needs to move back in with his mother.... AND then he had the NERVE to say to me, that " EVERY OTHER MOTHER MANAGES TO DO IT..... " about keeping the house clean. Well it is NOT that my house is messy, it just takes awhile to get it done sometimes....LOL!! I said to him " Sure MY house looks GREAT when people come over too, HOW many houses, with children have you seen, when they DID NOT Know you would be coming over, like right before bedtime.... " AM I WRONG, Or am I failure as a wife, and a mother?? Is there ANY ONE here, who's house is spotless ALL THE TIME?? Did I forget to mention, HIS mother, had 3 maids when he was growing up, ONE to cook, One to Clean, and ONE to take care of HIM.....now yes she did work, but still... Sheesh, if I had that my house would look GREAT too, and I would be able to work as well..... Ok sorry to run off on that tangent.....Whew, I need to vent about that more often, I feel TONS better now.... Thanks for listening Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 8:52:17 PM Eastern Daylight Time, MamaToLexi@... writes: << Is there ANY ONE here, who's house is spotless ALL THE TIME?? >> Um - I don't think so. Thank God I married a man whose mother had three boys, a messy husband, 35 acres, and a construction business to worry about....there were never sanitation issues or anything, but I don't think they were eating off the floor! Have a clean house when the kids are gone and you're lonely and have nothing better to do then run the electrolux! Love - Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 , I didn't realize so many people had heard it before. It was the first time I had seen it and just wanted to pass it along as it has always been my philosophy much to the dismay of my MIL. Wendi Re: lullabye >Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow. >Babies grow up, as we've learned to our sorrow. >So cobwebs be quiet and dust go to sleep. >I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep. Oh Wendi! Thank you for posting this!! This poem was near the foot of my bed hanging on the wall as a cross-stitch in the room I did my " recovery/bonding " with my first child. It meant tons to me then, and still means alot to me now. I couldn't remember it or find it since then, and am thrilled you posted it! Is anyone on this list creative enough to make this into frameable art for me? I will gladly pay you for it!! (Cross-stitch, well-done calligraphy, whatever!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What do lizards and rock music have in common? http://www.onelist.com They both have communities at ONElist. Find yours today! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Breastfeeding is Best!! http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding http://forums.delphi.com/bf_list/start If you like this list also check out http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 don't let him do that to you!!!!! I don't live by myself, but the housecleaning does fall on my shoulders--my parents are basically understanding about when I cant clean well but I have heard " You know, you could stand to clean a little more " and then --ugggh---he's told me before " You need to clean your house more--I don't want Cade living in a s____hole " --uuuugggghhhhh--like hes ever cleaned a day in his life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 6:22:33 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Jefkarp@... writes: << Have a clean house when the kids are gone and you're lonely and have nothing better to do then run the electrolux! Love - Joan >> THANK YOU JOAN!!! That is my point exactly!! I had even said to him, that the BABY, is HAPPY HEALTHY, and VERY WELL Taken Care of..... SO WHAT if I forgot to dust the television, and it has little bity finger prints on it....., is any one going to DIE OVER IT?? I think NOT... Lexi ENJOYED putting those finger prints on there....LOL!! Thanks again Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 6:24:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time, tcp@... writes: << Send him over to visit us around 7:00pm on a weeknight. LOL, my house is trashed until I get everyone to bed. Toys, schoolwork (almost over) books, projects, etc... My dh used to bitch about it too- his mom was completely neurotic about the house and what people thought, and he thought I would be the same way. My philosophy is " people before things " meaning my kids come first, and I'm not going to risk their self-esteem to keep my house clean. I'm really adamant about this, and now whoever gets to it first, cleans it up. I do have someone in to help with the heavy-duty stuff once a week, but only since Maddie got here. Tammy >> Thanks Tammy Yes, this is also my house NOW, with ONE child, I can't WAIT to hear what he is going to say when we have another child! But I am hoping to get him trained on it before then...... How did you ever get your husband to stop complaining about it ?? I have tried to tell him, and he has gotten better about some things, but then not always... He usually will bring it up when he is angry at me, and mention that it took me two days to fold the laundry But this last time, we got into an argument, and he said about the t.v., I told him, since HE noticed it, he should have just done it, and then HE would not have to worry about it not being done.... I had done EVERY THING else, but forgot to do THAT, and that he FOUND that one thing......Oh that irritates me.......LOL! Thanks again, Tammy Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 7:03:39 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Phawxsee@... writes: << don't let him do that to you!!!!! I don't live by myself, but the housecleaning does fall on my shoulders-- >> Ali, I DON'T let him do it to me........I GLADLY told him I would be willing to share the cleaning responsibilities ANY TIME....... I also said, since HE had SUCH a problem with the t.v., not having been dusted then HE should have done it, all he would have had to do is pick up a rag, and wipe...... then it would have been done, he would not have to be bothered by it, AND it would have saved us an hour arguement over it..... I HOPE he got the point..... I told him, " I am NOT your mother, and if you want some one to wipe your a**, then you need to move back with her...... " He was not happy about that to say the least.....LOL! So my point, is I DO NOT, let him do things like that to me, I am too stubborn of a person to let that happen! Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 8:08:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time, MamaToLexi@... writes: << since HE had SUCH a problem with the t.v., not having been dusted then HE should have done it, >> lol!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 " EVERY OTHER MOTHER MANAGES TO DO IT..... " about keeping the house clean. Send him over to visit us around 7:00pm on a weeknight. LOL, my house is trashed until I get everyone to bed. Toys, schoolwork (almost over) books, projects, etc... My dh used to bitch about it too- his mom was completely neurotic about the house and what people thought, and he thought I would be the same way. My philosophy is " people before things " meaning my kids come first, and I'm not going to risk their self-esteem to keep my house clean. I'm really adamant about this, and now whoever gets to it first, cleans it up. I do have someone in to help with the heavy-duty stuff once a week, but only since Maddie got here. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 8:25:49 PM Pacific Daylight Time, peachsmum@... writes: << In our house we are (or at least was for me) neatfreaks so it is always a battle! I hope you feel better and I hopesomeday hubbies all over will realize exactly how much we do do!--------------------, mum to (aka peach)12-22-98 >> , Yes, I USED to be a neat freak, but recently, I had realized it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep it that way!! I would prefer to have my house EMPTY.....LOL!! I HATE having things on the counter, but with the baby, Dh, and a roommate.....it jsut DOES NOT HAPPEN.....!! And yes hopefully someday I will make Dh realize what exactly I do all day... Thanks Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 In a message dated 6/17/99 10:57:36 PM Pacific Daylight Time, tcp@... writes: << Lol, do you really want to know?? I made sure that he understood that the amount of sex he gets is in direct proportion to the amount of cleaning he does. (I think mentioned this before too) hth, Tammy >> ROFL.......Ok I am going to HAVE to try this! But How exactly did you make them realize that?? By saying something like " hey you know if you would help out, I would not have to stay up so late cleaning up, and then there would me more time for sex " ....., Or " if you would help out more, I would not be so tired when it came time to have sex " ..............something like that?? I like that idea......LOL! It is about time us women can use sex to OUR advantage for once.......LOL! Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 , mum to (aka peach)12-22-98 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 1999 Report Share Posted June 17, 1999 > How did you ever get your husband to stop complaining about it ?? < Lol, do you really want to know?? I made sure that he understood that the amount of sex he gets is in direct proportion to the amount of cleaning he does. (I think mentioned this before too) hth, Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 1999 Report Share Posted June 18, 1999 In a message dated 6/18/99 1:57:31 AM Eastern Daylight Time, tcp@... writes: << I made sure that he understood that the amount of sex he gets is in direct proportion to the amount of cleaning he does. >> LMAO!!!! Great idea. My guy is such a lazy butt and will only do housework if I harass him 100 times. Never volunteers. I am now gonna try the Tammy Method of Man Training. Now, do you tell him bluntly what the situation is or just leave subtle hints? ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 1999 Report Share Posted June 18, 1999 In a message dated 6/18/99 12:09:36 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Mygrdntool@... writes: << I laughed my butt off when I read this........how cruel......but I bet it works wonders! We'll see how it works with my Sloth. ~ >> Me too, .....ROFL!! But NOW we know why Tammy, and 's husband actually HELP OUT.......LOL!! I think it would make them get the point VERY quickly..... Oh this is just too funny... Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 1999 Report Share Posted June 18, 1999 In a message dated 6/18/99 1:25:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time, angehowe@... writes: << Have you ever seen what it would cost a husband to replace his housewife? It's pretty funny... It's like this, but this is off the top of my head: $10,000 for childcare for one child $8,000 for weekly house cleaning $3,000 for laundry services $15,000 for cooking three meals a day $6,000 for grocery shopping $15,000 for taxi services $10,000 for gardening and landscaping services $10,000 for interior decorating ------- $77,000 for staying home! And to think on one of my very first job interviews for an accounting clerk position, they were unwilling to pay me just $15,000 a year! (I turned that one down!) >> WOW, I had seen one like that before, but it was only like $31,000 a year..... BUT STILL......LOL!! It is very true.... I like that rule you have too.... We are working on it....And I am going to have to try out the sex thing......I just can't stop smiling over it....LOL! Thank You Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 1999 Report Share Posted June 18, 1999 In a message dated 6/18/99 1:25:33 PM Pacific Daylight Time, angehowe@... writes: << So he expects to work only *8* hours a day and then come home and take the next *16* hours off relaxing while you are expected to work around the clock?! What, do you guys live in a cave?! Tell him to grow up. It's not 1950. >> Well, I have to speak up for my Dh here, He does work ALOT, about 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, and he DOES provide for us very well....but that STILL, DOES NOT mean he can come home, and bitch about what has NOT been done around the house! And You are right, I have told him to grow up, and I also told him, if he expects a " PERFECT " house, I will leave right now, because that is SIMPLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN.......Not today or any day.... I wish I could leave him with Lexi for awhile, where he would HAVE to take care of her...... and maybe he would realize ALL I DO, DO everyday..... But since I have no way to do that, it will probably never happen.... Thank you everyone for your support with this, I am so glad to know I am not the only one is not perfect....I was beginning to think it was only me So THANK YOU Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 1999 Report Share Posted June 18, 1999 In a message dated 6/18/99 4:28:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time, angehowe@... writes: << You could make each task have a value as well... One room cleaned - one night a week... Dishes washed - you wear his favorite teddy/lingerie... toilet/shower scrubbed... lol! You get the picture. >> LMAO......another great idea. I just wonder if dh is TRAINABLE ;-) ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 1999 Report Share Posted June 18, 1999 In a message dated 6/18/99 4:25:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time, angehowe@... writes: << And to think on one of my very first job interviews for an accounting clerk position, they were unwilling to pay me just $15,000 a year! (I turned that one down!) >> Sorry for posting this message with nothing included! My fingers were just too fast! : ) , just curious, what type of accounting work do you do? I worked in AR for many years prior to becoming a mommy. Sometimes I really miss the stimulation! : ) Dana : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 1999 Report Share Posted June 19, 1999 >, just curious, what type of accounting work do you do? I worked in AR >for many years prior to becoming a mommy. Sometimes I really miss the >stimulation! : ) Currently I just manage the checkbook. I hope to never have to do AR again though... I was good at it, but I really hated it. I worked for a contractor who built government facilities that tested guided weapons. I think other than one welder, I was the only girl on the premises most of the time. After that job ended, I got pregnant with and went back to school, and the military moved us just after was born, and before I finished school. This job interview where they wouldn't go $15,000 a year was the first and only one I went to once we moved. After that, I set up a home daycare and made more than $15,000! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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