Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 - First, for Keegan - seven can be such a sad and sensitive age. Even the Ames and Ilg developmental books which usual pair a " positive " adjective and a " negative " one for each age call their book on sevens " Life in a Minor Key " . As for Barney - (my Charger) would watch Barney, and all the pre-school Nickelodeon programs with his younger siblings, and his friends younger siblings with great pleasure until about the age of eleven. I figured his childhood has been all splintered up - if he can enjoy these things - I was extremely happy for him. He was so lighthearted and other parents saw it as a great kindness - as their younger children felt very validated to have a " big " kid interested in their interests. Luckily it never really came up at school - I didn't think of that ) I become unnaturally intense when I am pushed into a feeling of " not knowing " - especially if I think my not knowing equals my not helping equals my children never being successful adults(in my mind, of course). I also have my own unresolved issues from my own childhood that are evidenced by the variety of things that make me irrationally and inappropriately angry with my children (awareness that it's me and not them helps quite a bit - though it is exhausting). So I have a three line saying that helps reground me and remember how fragile and tender my children are and what they really need from me: Remember how small I really am Remember how I make you feel when I hug you Remember how I can melt your heart with love Other than my $0.02 (for what it was worth) you have my admiration and sympathies ) smiles~! yuka .. what do you think? > ok. I need your opinions. Tim who is 10 and liam who is 5 just watched the barney christmas video,> snip< > another issue---keegan is 7 will be 8 in march middle child, smart, athletic, moody, loving whrn he wants to be and oh so emotional >snip< > any ideas would be helpful--we do give individual attention, special days, etc. > > maria mom to timmy ChARGE 10, Keegan 7, liam 5 wife to pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Yuka, That is something ALL parents should remind themselves of! , You know I believe all children are wired differently, some needing more attention, structure, and reinforcement for the right thing, and lots of time to handle transitions (or change is expectations). It is so hard to see that a child is being other than bad, but truly may just have a hard time shifting gears. This may not change how he responds to things, but I wonder if there is a way to help him realize it and figure out ways he can give himself time to adjust. (All good in theory, but of course Tyler doesn't realize he is being unreasonable when he is in the reacting state - it is like there is no cognitive function available during that time and it is pure reaction.) Good luck. Kim > Remember how small I really am > Remember how I make you feel when I hug you > Remember how I can melt your heart with love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Oh yes, and Yuka I cannot imagine you irrationally mad. Kim > Remember how small I really am > Remember how I make you feel when I hug you > Remember how I can melt your heart with love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hey Yuka, What you were saying about keith and his kidness stages being all chopped up, mine was like that too with all my illnesses as a kid. In some ways i had to grow up fast and i too enjoyed things like watching barney and building lego stuff. As I am older now, i cant get away with doing a lot of those little kid things, but i do enjoy interacting with the young kids at my work. I will sit down and colour with them or just listen to them tell me a story. I cant say the same for my other co workers who will just sit and talk amoungst each other. Chantelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Chantelle and Yuka- I think you're on to something. I have a dear friend who is a child care provider. Her childhood was abusive and difficult. She is wonderful at what she does because she truly enjoys being a child with the children. Aubrie also loves Barney, Dora, and other preschool shows and characters. She knows that they are for younger kids, but I allow and appreciate her enjoyment of them. I tell her she can like anything she wants. I'm a grown-up but I still enjoy some kid things-- playing games with her, some kid shows, etc. I think she realizes that her peers don't enjoy those things, but she doesn't feel that she has to forego them. Her big brother will tell her differently, but I don't let him give her too much grief about it. I figure that if the other kids tease her, she will either enjoy them in private or let go of it. But if they don't tease her or she is able to choose to enjoy them in spite of teasing, then what's the harm? Michele W Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 also enjoys many things that are " under age " for her. I don't sweat it. I figure she has age appropriate peers at school during the week, and if this allows her to chill out some from the stress related to " fitting in " with her group of peers, so be it. She was thrilled to get a Dora doll and clothes for Christmas. She has just recently stopped watching Barney videos on a regular basis. She is now more into the real people shows - she was a real Lizzie McGuire kick for a while. Now she wants movies with Duff (Cheaper By the Dozen, etc.) and the Olsen twins. She is less and less interested in cartoons (other than Tom & Jerry) because they are hard to understand without any sound. (Barney has a lot of action that is easy to understand even without sound.) I watched a few cartoons without the sound on and had a hard time following, even with captions on. And is not reading so well at this point to be able to follow the quickly changing captions. Sometimes they go very fast, and sometimes it will freeze up, be way behind, or skip parts. Really frustrating, so I understand why she doesn't care for the cartoons. At least with real people, she is able to better follow what is happening, unless it is all dialog and no actions. I think she knows that some of the things she likes (Dora, Bratz dolls) are not what her peers are playing with, and she adjusts during those times. When she is at home, she plays as she pleases. Sometimes I think I should move her on to " big girl " activities, but why stress her out when we are talking about play? Friends in CHARGE, Marilyn Ogan Mom of (13 yrs, CHARGE+ JRA) Mom of Ken (16 yrs, Asperger's) Wife of Rick oganm@... _____ From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of Michele Westmaas Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 4:10 PM To: CHARGE Subject: RE: Re: what do you think? Chantelle and Yuka- I think you're on to something. I have a dear friend who is a child care provider. Her childhood was abusive and difficult. She is wonderful at what she does because she truly enjoys being a child with the children. Aubrie also loves Barney, Dora, and other preschool shows and characters. She knows that they are for younger kids, but I allow and appreciate her enjoyment of them. I tell her she can like anything she wants. I'm a grown-up but I still enjoy some kid things-- playing games with her, some kid shows, etc. I think she realizes that her peers don't enjoy those things, but she doesn't feel that she has to forego them. Her big brother will tell her differently, but I don't let him give her too much grief about it. I figure that if the other kids tease her, she will either enjoy them in private or let go of it. But if they don't tease her or she is able to choose to enjoy them in spite of teasing, then what's the harm? Michele W Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation or CHARGE Syndrome Canada. For information about the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter), please contact marion@... or visit the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org - for CHARGE Syndrome Canada information and membership, please visit http://www.chargesyndrome.ca or email info@... . 8th International CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 , I get what your saying about the Barney thing, but you also have a five yr old who wants to watch it too, so it's hard to make the decision to take it away. If it were me, I wouldn't take it away if Kennedy REALLY loved it, but I might buy her some newer " older kid " videos and try and encourage her interest in those. Tough call, I really don't have a black & white answer here... Weir Home: lisaweir@... Work: lisa.weir@... Phone: Web: http://ca.geocities.com/weirfamilyrogers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 , You boys sound like my oldest, he is 10 and he crys at alot of things. I have no clue what to tell you but try to keep your cool and not get to upset about it. He also watchs some shows more for younger kids and I dont see a big deal with it. I dont think he tells his friends when he does watch tho shows. This was also the year he found out about santa. I think he has knowen for a long time but he just loves the whole christmas feeling. I hope you all can figure out whats going on with your son, and I wouldnt worry to much about what the 10 year old is watching. Hugs, Crystal and Eva (9 month charger) > > ok. I need your opinions. Tim who is 10 and liam who is 5 just watched the barney christmas video, because they forgot to watch it before christmas. this movie has been one of tim's favorite movies since he was a toddler. we leave it out all year long and he watches it 2-3x a year. > > keegan made comment he couldn't believe they were watching it--I said they watch it cause they liek the music. who knows maybe that is the reason, but should I take it away? I realize it's about santa and that in itself is a reason to watch it, but he's 10 watching barney and bj and baby bop. what if he goes to school and tells his friends he watches barney? still likes dora too, and bob the builder. I just don't want him made fun of--he has enough strikes against him as it is. > > another issue---keegan is 7 will be 8 in march middle child, smart, athletic, moody, loving whrn he wants to be and oh so emotional --cries at the drop of the hat about silly things. doesn't get his way--cries, loses a game--very competitive--not a team sport, but for instance yesterday we went to a b-day party for a 5 year old one of liams' friends, but also our neighbor so all the boys went. he bolwed last--he wanted to be first, and even though there were bumpers he did the worst of all the kids except tim. and he didn't get to finish the game--they got to bowl for an hour. he was crying in front of everyone that he was doing badly and he didn't get to finish. I told him he needed to practice he would get better and we would come another time he could bowl a whole game. nothing would stop the tears--finally pat removed him from the situation. still crying--because pat told him to sit with the kids in the party room. he wanted to play a video game I said no--here come the tears. > > It's all the time oover nothing --I want to play on the playground- -not today we have to go pick up liam---there go the water works. is this normal? should I worry? yes, he is emotional and sensitive, but my goodness......I am reaching the end of my rope and understanding level with him. > > any ideas would be helpful--we do give individual attention, special days, etc. > > maria mom to timmy ChARGE 10, Keegan 7, liam 5 wife to pat > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 im twenty and i still play with grandmas lego when im at her house > > , > > You boys sound like my oldest, he is 10 and he crys at alot of > things. I have no clue what to tell you but try to keep your cool > and not get to upset about it. He also watchs some shows more for > younger kids and I dont see a big deal with it. I dont think he > tells his friends when he does watch tho shows. This was also the > year he found out about santa. I think he has knowen for a long time > but he just loves the whole christmas feeling. I hope you all can > figure out whats going on with your son, and I wouldnt worry to much > about what the 10 year old is watching. > > Hugs, > Crystal and Eva (9 month charger) > > > > > > ok. I need your opinions. Tim who is 10 and liam who is 5 just > watched the barney christmas video, because they forgot to watch it > before christmas. this movie has been one of tim's favorite movies > since he was a toddler. we leave it out all year long and he > watches it 2-3x a year. > > > > keegan made comment he couldn't believe they were watching it--I > said they watch it cause they liek the music. who knows maybe that > is the reason, but should I take it away? I realize it's about > santa and that in itself is a reason to watch it, but he's 10 > watching barney and bj and baby bop. what if he goes to school and > tells his friends he watches barney? still likes dora too, and bob > the builder. I just don't want him made fun of--he has enough > strikes against him as it is. > > > > another issue---keegan is 7 will be 8 in march middle child, > smart, athletic, moody, loving whrn he wants to be and oh so > emotional --cries at the drop of the hat about silly things. > doesn't get his way--cries, loses a game--very competitive--not a > team sport, but for instance yesterday we went to a b-day party for > a 5 year old one of liams' friends, but also our neighbor so all the > boys went. he bolwed last--he wanted to be first, and even though > there were bumpers he did the worst of all the kids except tim. and > he didn't get to finish the game--they got to bowl for an hour. he > was crying in front of everyone that he was doing badly and he > didn't get to finish. I told him he needed to practice he would get > better and we would come another time he could bowl a whole game. > nothing would stop the tears--finally pat removed him from the > situation. still crying--because pat told him to sit with the kids > in the party room. he wanted to play a video game I said no--here > come the tears. > > > > It's all the time oover nothing --I want to play on the playground- > -not today we have to go pick up liam---there go the water works. > is this normal? should I worry? yes, he is emotional and > sensitive, but my goodness......I am reaching the end of my rope and > understanding level with him. > > > > any ideas would be helpful--we do give individual attention, > special days, etc. > > > > maria mom to timmy ChARGE 10, Keegan 7, liam 5 wife to pat > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 thanks for all your replies. I have put a call in to the school psych. who has classes with keegan's class once a week. just thought I would pick his brain, and maybe have some talk time with keegan--maybe he would get him to tell him if there was something bothering him? we have talked with him, but he says he just can't control his emotions. we'll see--maybe like you said it's just being 7--I would just hate for it to be something more and we didn't address it. what do you think? > > >> ok. I need your opinions. Tim who is 10 and liam who is 5 just watched > the barney christmas video,> snip< >> another issue---keegan is 7 will be 8 in march middle child, smart, > athletic, moody, loving whrn he wants to be and oh so emotional >snip< >> any ideas would be helpful--we do give individual attention, special >> days, > etc. >> >> maria mom to timmy ChARGE 10, Keegan 7, liam 5 wife to pat > > > > Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation or CHARGE Syndrome Canada. > For information about the CHARGE Syndrome > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter), > please contact marion@... or visit > the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org - for CHARGE Syndrome Canada > information and membership, please visit http://www.chargesyndrome.ca or > email info@... . > 8th International > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 - Absolutely ) Best of everything as you move forward- smiles~ yuka Re: what do you think? > we have talked with him, but > he says he just can't control his emotions. we'll see--maybe like you said > it's just being 7--I would just hate for it to be something more and we > didn't address it. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2009 Report Share Posted September 23, 2009 Maybe if they saw more of our children they would start asking questions instead of making stupid comments. People will never stop staring at something which is uncommon and not understood. You have to accept that because it won't go away. Put yourself in their shoes and you might end up doing the same thing. My suggestion is to forget the stares because your child has done nothing wrong. Take him out into the public arena as often as you can. We don't apologize to anyone! To: sList From: iluvmyangelsya@...Date: Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:34:13 -0400Subject: Re: What do YOU think? one thing i havent been able to deal with since my sons diagnosis is peoples stares and ignorance. the community needs to learn about our children instead of commenting. i always say if your going to say something stupid, keep it to yourself. it really annoys me. sorry but your neighbor is IGNORANT! Hotmail® has ever-growing storage! Don’t worry about storage limits. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2009 Report Share Posted September 23, 2009 Be sure she keeps her pomise and doesn't come over again. To: rainbow.websites@...From: mizlydia@...Date: Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:14:17 -0400Subject: What do YOU think? My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. She did say "busy" and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my child is and saying "I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can be polite and say hi."Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the "etiquette Nazis" who would say "good MORning" really loud if I failed to acknowledge their hallowed presence.Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was siding with my kid she said "well then, I'm not going to ever come over your house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada" Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such sanctimonious individuals day in and day out.Oy.-- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 "Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word."~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designshttp://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." ~~Mahatma Gandhi found her dream laptop. Find the PC that’s right for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 hello. actually ive never been the type to stare at someone.i was taught otherwise. but yea im learning how to ignore the stares. i just think people have to be educated about autism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 Your neighbor is shamefully ignorant. I would send, no, bombard her with links to autism websites and any reading material you can send her. I know you're fuming (and I would be too), but use that energy to educate her, and any other knucklehead like her. That's the best weapon we have right now! If she still doesn't get it, she's beyond help and her husband and family have to deal with that!! B. : ) > > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can > be polite and say hi. " > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > hallowed presence. > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > Oy. > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 > First of all, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this person but I would NEVER comment on a kid not greeting me, autistic or not, busy or not. I've been to many of my friends' houses, and some kids say hi back, others don't. None of them have Autism. No brainer, like said, make sure she keeps her promise. I would never let anybody lecture me regarding my kids in such a silly matter. Sorry you have to deal with her, but luckly that' will be the end of it! > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can > be polite and say hi. " > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > hallowed presence. > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > Oy. > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 Ha ha ha. Now THAT would be rude!She and I fight like sisters, but she reserves her worst for her real sister LOL Be sure she keeps her pomise and doesn't come over again. To: rainbow.websites@...From: mizlydia@...Date: Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:14:17 -0400 Subject: What do YOU think? My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can be polite and say hi. " Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their hallowed presence. Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. Oy.-- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " ~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. " ~~Mahatma Gandhi found her dream laptop. Find the PC that’s right for you. -- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " ~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. " ~~Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 I've tried... she won't read it... or worse, she interprets it her own way. She's stuck in the stone age, gives me newspaper clippings all the time of stuff I read months ago on the 'net. She has a few quirks that make her as hard to get along with as I am. Her husband is a likely Aspie too... loves to collect things, often forgets to finish his sentences as if we can read his mind. Well... not exactly. He'll start the sentence, and say the end of it, but trail off into thought in the middle as if we're supposed to follow him into his own head LOL Gotta love 'em, or I'd have to hate... and I detest hatred. Your neighbor is shamefully ignorant. I would send, no, bombard her with links to autism websites and any reading material you can send her. I know you're fuming (and I would be too), but use that energy to educate her, and any other knucklehead like her. That's the best weapon we have right now! If she still doesn't get it, she's beyond help and her husband and family have to deal with that!! B. : ) > > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can > be polite and say hi. " > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > hallowed presence. > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > Oy. > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > -- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " ~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. " ~~Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 Well, she went on to say that my kid is always wanting something from her but just can't be bothered to be polite, etc.Yeah... no wonder I never tried to make friends with neighbors in the past. > First of all, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this person but I would NEVER comment on a kid not greeting me, autistic or not, busy or not. I've been to many of my friends' houses, and some kids say hi back, others don't. None of them have Autism. No brainer, like said, make sure she keeps her promise. I would never let anybody lecture me regarding my kids in such a silly matter. Sorry you have to deal with her, but luckly that' will be the end of it! > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can > be polite and say hi. " > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > hallowed presence. > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > Oy. > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > -- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " ~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. " ~~Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 You can start out by making them visual learners first. The last thing we should do is treat our children like they were insistutionalized. To: sList From: iluvmyangelsya@...Date: Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:22:52 -0400Subject: Re: What do YOU think? hello. actually ive never been the type to stare at someone.i was taught otherwise. but yea im learning how to ignore the stares. i just think people have to be educated about autism. Bing™ brings you maps, menus, and reviews organized in one place. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2009 Report Share Posted September 24, 2009 I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 Did you point out to this woman that it is very poor manners to show up at another person's home un- invited w/out calling first? It is great that you are trying to be a good neighbor, but it has been my experience that people like this are people that are so insecure with themselves and the way they are raising their own children, that nothing you say or do will change the situation. People who come over un-announced are usually people who have very poor manners, or people who are trying to find out information to gossip about. You are probably better off without the friendship of this woman. Glenda > > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can > be polite and say hi. " > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > hallowed presence. > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > Oy. > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 Actually I had been on the phone with her earlier, and she's already past it. But when we reminded her she'd said she was never coming over again, she claimed that was not what she said... c'est la vie. She came over to roast a marshmallow over our fire and have a s'more with us last night. But still, quite often I have to walk into another room or go outside when she's inside because she's just too intense. I can't take her personality. And I bet there are a few people who feel that way about me. Fortunately I do most of my communicating online, so it's really easy to click away if something I say rubs you wrong. In person it can lead to childish shouting matches and I swear sometimes I think we should be a reality show. Did you point out to this woman that it is very poor manners to show up at another person's home un- invited w/out calling first? It is great that you are trying to be a good neighbor, but it has been my experience that people like this are people that are so insecure with themselves and the way they are raising their own children, that nothing you say or do will change the situation. People who come over un-announced are usually people who have very poor manners, or people who are trying to find out information to gossip about. You are probably better off without the friendship of this woman. Glenda > > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi. > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can > be polite and say hi. " > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > hallowed presence. > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over your > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > Oy. > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > -- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " ~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. " ~~Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 You're funny Lydia. From: Lydia Glider- Sent: Sunday, September 27, 2009 12:36 PM To: sList Subject: Re: Re: What do YOU think? Actually I had been on the phone with her earlier, and she's already past it. But when we reminded her she'd said she was never coming over again, she claimed that was not what she said... c'est la vie. She came over to roast a marshmallow over our fire and have a s'more with us last night. But still, quite often I have to walk into another room or go outside when she's inside because she's just too intense. I can't take her personality. And I bet there are a few people who feel that way about me. Fortunately I do most of my communicating online, so it's really easy to click away if something I say rubs you wrong. In person it can lead to childish shouting matches and I swear sometimes I think we should be a reality show. On Sat, Sep 26, 2009 at 11:19 PM, hidden_garnet <hidden_garnet> wrote: Did you point out to this woman that it is very poor manners to show up at another person's home un- invited w/out calling first? It is great that you are trying to be a good neighbor, but it has been my experience that people like this are people that are so insecure with themselves and the way they are raising their own children, that nothing you say or do will change the situation. People who come over un-announced are usually people who have very poor manners, or people who are trying to find out information to gossip about. You are probably better off without the friendship of this woman. Glenda >> My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes> over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say hi.> She did say "busy" and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's> frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude my> child is and saying "I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she can> be polite and say hi."> > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I> kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the "etiquette Nazis"> who would say "good MORning" really loud if I failed to acknowledge their> hallowed presence.> > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing> this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was> siding with my kid she said "well then, I'm not going to ever come over your> house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada"> > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling> justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of> favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such> sanctimonious individuals day in and day out.> > Oy.> > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3> "Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few> of them understand the simple meaning of the word."> ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3> WE CAN DO THIS> http://www.nopom.info> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3> Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs> http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3> "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then> you win."> ~~Mahatma Gandhi> -- Lydia www.rainbow-websites.com<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 "Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few of them understand the simple meaning of the word."~Ron <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 WE CAN DO THIShttp://www.nopom.info<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designshttp://www.cafepress.com/autismrules<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." ~~Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Lydia, I don't know you, but I'm suprised to see that after you were mad enough to come to the list to complain, you and your neighbor were hanging out and roasting marshmallows! Did she know that her actions made you upset, and did she apologize? She's already past it, but it left an impression on you. B. > > > > > > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > > > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say > > hi. > > > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > > > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude > > my > > > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she > > can > > > be polite and say hi. " > > > > > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > > > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > > > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > > > hallowed presence. > > > > > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > > > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > > > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over > > your > > > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > > > > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > > > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > > > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > > > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > > > > > Oy. > > > > > > -- > > > Lydia > > > www.rainbow-websites.com > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so > > few > > > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > > > ~Ron > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > WE CAN DO THIS > > > http://www.nopom.info > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > > > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > > > you win. " > > > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > Lydia > www.rainbow-websites.com > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so few > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > ~Ron > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > WE CAN DO THIS > http://www.nopom.info > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > you win. " > ~~Mahatma Gandhi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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