Guest guest Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 LOL like water off a duck. Yeah, I complain, and she complains about me... but that's the test of true friendship, I guess or tolerance at least... whether or not you can get past petty squabbles. However, when she (or anyone else for that matter) really irks me I may stop speaking to her for months... eventually I get over it because I don't believe in holding grudges and poisoning myself with negativity. BUT that doesn't mean I want to be chummy with such people. Just civil. I learned, too, from a miniseries on TV (many autistic people who watch it seem to learn a lot from TV, some good, some bad...) called " A Woman of Independent Means " starring Sally Field. The following line stuck in my head, and I've considered it often over the years since then, in self-evaluation: " I'm going to New York " the heroine stated, " To see if I'm still the sort of person I would like to be friends with. " So... what sort of person WOULD I like to be friends with? 1. Honest people who value truth above all else2. Kind people who value life3. Intelligent people who value learning4. Funny people whose sense of humor is not based in sarcasm or ridicule5. Capable people who may have the skills I don't... who can likewise make use of the skills I possess 6. Quirky people who tend to be a bit " off the wall " and aren't ashamed of it7. Passionate people who have faith and believe strongly in somethingI think it's something we should ask ourselves. My mother taught me very young to choose my friends, don't let myself be chosen. I don't know how good THAT advice was, but when someone seems to want to be my friend, I do evaluate the possibility using the criteria above. I have no use for dishonest, mean, stupid, lazy or incompetent people who only want to " be like everyone else " and just drone along like robots. Especially when they have no sense of humor! If one or two of the above qualities are lacking it may be tolerable (for me)... but more than that will send me running for the hills. </rant>Oh, and she didn't exactly apologize, but interestingly enough she's bent out of shape over someone else not apologizing to her... (completely unrelated)Thanks for asking, LOL Lydia, I don't know you, but I'm suprised to see that after you were mad enough to come to the list to complain, you and your neighbor were hanging out and roasting marshmallows! Did she know that her actions made you upset, and did she apologize? She's already past it, but it left an impression on you. B. > > > > > > My neighbor is upset because she came into my house (uninvited, she comes > > > over frequently...) and my youngest, who was on the computer, didn't say > > hi. > > > She did say " busy " and went back to what she was doing. (Just as she's > > > frequently seen me, her mother, do) The neighbor is fuming about how rude > > my > > > child is and saying " I don't care if she has Asperger's or whatever, she > > can > > > be polite and say hi. " > > > > > > Well... one of the reasons said child is homeschooled is the fact that I > > > kept getting accosted at the school she attended by the " etiquette Nazis " > > > who would say " good MORning " really loud if I failed to acknowledge their > > > hallowed presence. > > > > > > Therefore I took my daughter's side but declined to explain why, knowing > > > this woman would cut me off and sure enough as soon as I said that I was > > > siding with my kid she said " well then, I'm not going to ever come over > > your > > > house again, because that's just plain rude and... yada yada yada " > > > > > > Finally I hung up on her in disgust and the whole episode left me feeling > > > justified in my comfortable hermitage ensconced in my little nest of > > > favorite things. Ari... I don't know how you stand to be around such > > > sanctimonious individuals day in and day out. > > > > > > Oy. > > > > > > -- > > > Lydia > > > www.rainbow-websites.com > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > " Every politician on earth claims to support freedom. The problem is so > > few > > > of them understand the simple meaning of the word. " > > > ~Ron > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > WE CAN DO THIS > > > http://www.nopom.info > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > Autism/Aspergers T-Shirts & Designs > > > http://www.cafepress.com/autismrules > > > <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 > > > " First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then > > > you win. " > > > ~~Mahatma Gandhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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