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Re: Soul Searching...

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Hang in there hun! It will get better!

Big Hugs!

Angie wrote: I've been

to 2 'shrinks' in 2 days (1 with my daughter, 1 for me) and now I've got a bunch

of " assignments " I'm working on this week. For the most part I'm trying

desperately to drag myself up out of the deep hole of depression, frustrations,

and a dozen other negative 'tions' I'm in.

On that note, I got some money yesterday but the bank put a 2 week hold on it.

So now they have my money for 2 weeks and I can't use it. I can't believe it.

It's their way of " punishing me " for having been overdrawn back in October. I

just started crying, right there. They finally agreed to give me enough to get

the gas back on; so we have heat and hot water again. I haven't paid half of

January's rent or any of Feb yet. I'm pretty sure the electricity is about to

get shut off. My phone is already off. Work is taking their time filling out

paperwork so I may lose my foodstamps. Yet, I'm supposed to find a way to shake

being depressed!!!

OK so let's say I'm not too far along on my assignments yet.

Yes, I've filed for assistance with my utilities but they haven't processed it


Yes I tried reasoning with the bank but they were just insulting to me. You

know what, I didn't do anything wrong, I just got sick. My damn job backed

money out that they paid me for sick leave; and my account went negative and I

didn't have any way to put new money in there for a while. Plus I told them

that then!! So why didn't they hold that first deposit? Why do it to me 4

months later? It hasn't been overdrawn since then. Oh and they won't give me

an atm card either for 6 months. So I'm being punished for being sick and

losing my income. I'm supposed to somehow let go of feeling guilty when

everyone around me is trying to MAKE me feel guilty.

So for now, all the utilities are back on and we have food in the house. So

maybe I can find a way not to worry about the inevitable and just go with the

flow until the inevitable comes.

On the upside, I'm not feeling too bad today. Just these headaches I can't

seem to shake off and some normal overall level of pain. Nothing screaming so


These are pluses... all is not lost... right???

Take care everyone... I'm off to the showers!!

Angie Harley Mama Double-D

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow

skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong

Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open


" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

" While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow

part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious

uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner








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