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PTSD... maybe I DO have it

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I was reading the posts here about PTSD. I don't think I have that. But again,

maybe I do.

I have had some very traumatic life events that just seemed to be back to

back. Extreme emotional pain and major depression from broken relationships

mostly. But also I guess I have shared with some of the old timers to the site,

I was molested from the age of about 4 or 5 to the age of 7 or so the best I can

remember.

The molestation may have had a much deeper impact on my subconscious than I

ever realized. It is all so cloudy... partly because I was so young,,, and

partly could be a mental block of the details. I don't think I realized it was

traumatic at the time when I was at such a young age.

Also I don't think I ever shared much of this here. But I had a baby at the

age of 17 ... I adopted him out. I never saw him. The minute he was born they

took him away before I could see him. (I think that may have been best though).

I never regretted the decision I made, but then again I believe I have separated

myself completely from that experience. It has never seemed real to me though I

know it was.

So, I suppose putting all that with the fact that I grew up with a mother who

drank almost everyday during my early childhood though we were dirt poor.... and

her extreme negativity about life.... Maybe I do have some PTSD.

Just some thoughts.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

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