Re: My friends

[Guest guest]

I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones defiantley

do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had to have

this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them how I feel and

what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT bragging but

are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to feel great

about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in pics and in

the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl. Good Luck

everything

God Bless,

Robin, NorthEastern, NY

EDD- July 27th, 2004

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

Mommy to:

&

(twin boys 7 1/2),

Madison, daughter, 5 years and

Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

Gastric Bypass Surgery-

October 18th 2002

Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

goal 170 after baby

[Guest guest]

I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones defiantley

do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had to have

this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them how I feel and

what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT bragging but

are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to feel great

about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in pics and in

the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl. Good Luck

everything

God Bless,

Robin, NorthEastern, NY

EDD- July 27th, 2004

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

Mommy to:

&

(twin boys 7 1/2),

Madison, daughter, 5 years and

Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

Gastric Bypass Surgery-

October 18th 2002

Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

goal 170 after baby

[Guest guest]

I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones defiantley

do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had to have

this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them how I feel and

what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT bragging but

are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to feel great

about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in pics and in

the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl. Good Luck

everything

God Bless,

Robin, NorthEastern, NY

EDD- July 27th, 2004

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

Mommy to:

&

(twin boys 7 1/2),

Madison, daughter, 5 years and

Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

Gastric Bypass Surgery-

October 18th 2002

Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

goal 170 after baby

[Guest guest]

I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI!

I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm seeing? It is

just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy when I turn the

big 5-0. And I want to look good.

As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they cannot comprehend

what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a great site.

We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and experiencing.

Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge!

Joyce B

268/220/ ?

1/15/04

[Guest guest]

LoriB,

That is a tough one. I have never lost the weight and had to deal with that,

but here is my two cents worth. One thing that you have to keep in mind is that

these people do not know the euphoria that you are feeling. They don't know

what it is like to not be able to live your life and now all of a sudden you

can. They have no reference point from where you have come. Another thing is

that even skinny people can have low self-esteem. And some people can be very

intimidated by people who have good self-esteem. That may also be a problem

that you are facing. These people may not feel good about themselves and they

don't understand or are jealous that you do. I have encountered that before.

You don't have to be fat to have low self-esteem. Now neither of these reasons

give them the right to be talking behind your back. You look to these people as

your friends and they should treat you as their friend. Now, what you do with

this is your call. You can ask them about it to try and reconcile your

friendship, because if you don't it will always be hanging over you. Or you can

move on and try and find people who are truly your friends and will except you

no matter what you look like or how you feel about yourself. I hope that some

of that helps, and that is just my two cents. But you continue to live your

life and enjoy every day of it and don't you dare let anyone get in the way of

that.

Dora

My " friends "

Here's a good one: Tell me how you really feel but please be kind!!!!

Okay, I've just dropped almost 80 pounds since October 3, 2003. I am

feeling proud of myself. I'm driving my husband nuts cuz I can't

stop looking at myself in mirrors, windows, anything that will show

me! I felt so horrible about myself for so many years and to see

this thin little face, blows my mind! Anyway, my co-workers are all

so happy for me. They compliment me constantly. It's embarrassing,

but I handle it graciously. Now my " friends " are another thing. I

belong to an organization that I am very active in. I thought most

of these people were really happy for me. I haven't been bragging

all that much with them even tho they are my " friends " . Immediately

after the surgery, I was asking the thin ladies how much they weighed

to gage what I would look like. I would say " How much do you

weigh? " They would smile and tell me maybe like - 135 and I

said " I'm going to be right down there with you someday!! " Then they

would smile and tell me how great that was... . A bunch of pictures

were taken of me and this group and I made a couple of comments about

how I couldn't believe it was actually " me " in those pix! People

seemed happy for me, were patting me on the back, etc.

Well that was a few months ago and now I'm finding these people are

throwing these things back in my face when I'm not around. My dh

went to a meeting that I didnt go to and he told me people were

saying nasty stuff like " Well, you should have heard Lori asking

people how much they weighed.... " or " You should have heard her when

she saw a picture of herself... " I feel like they have turned on

me. I thought cuz they were my friends and were all thin I could say

this stuff to them. I won't say anything around them about my weight

anymore I guess. By the way it's all women who are saying this stuff.

Can you all understand what I'm going through here? My Gosh, I was

so heavy and looked so awful for soooo many years. I am 49 and think

that I am just now finally really starting to like myself. I had

almost 48 years of extremely low self esteem.

That's it, just needed to vent. Has anyone else experienced mean-

ness from people they thought were their friends after weight loss?

Thanks

LoriB

LAPRNY 10/3/04 228/151/130

ft laud fl

dr. english

P.S. Just found out I can tolerate sugar. This is not good. We all

have to remember: We have a TOOL! That's all the pouch is, a tool!

[Guest guest]

Thank you for understanding. Isn't it wonderful to be able to look

at yourself in a mirror and feel like " YEAH, YOU GO GIRL!!!! " There

were so many times through the years when I would go to a restaurant

and find myself looking at myself in a mirror. I couldn't stand it,

I always changed places with someone. I used to sit in the passenger-

side of my car when the dh was driving and see myself in theright

sideview mirror and want to cry from total disgust! NOT ANYMORE AND

HOPEFULLY IF I DO WHAT I'MSUPPOSED TO DO, NEVER AGAIN!

lORIb

> I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones

defiantley

> do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had

to have

> this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them

how I feel and

> what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT

bragging but

> are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to

feel great

> about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in

pics and in

> the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl.

Good Luck

> everything

>

>

> God Bless,

> Robin, NorthEastern, NY

> EDD- July 27th, 2004

> IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

> Mommy to:

> &

> (twin boys 7 1/2),

> Madison, daughter, 5 years and

> Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

> Gastric Bypass Surgery-

> October 18th 2002

> Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

> goal 170 after baby

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for understanding. Isn't it wonderful to be able to look

at yourself in a mirror and feel like " YEAH, YOU GO GIRL!!!! " There

were so many times through the years when I would go to a restaurant

and find myself looking at myself in a mirror. I couldn't stand it,

I always changed places with someone. I used to sit in the passenger-

side of my car when the dh was driving and see myself in theright

sideview mirror and want to cry from total disgust! NOT ANYMORE AND

HOPEFULLY IF I DO WHAT I'MSUPPOSED TO DO, NEVER AGAIN!

lORIb

> I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones

defiantley

> do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had

to have

> this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them

how I feel and

> what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT

bragging but

> are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to

feel great

> about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in

pics and in

> the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl.

Good Luck

> everything

>

>

> God Bless,

> Robin, NorthEastern, NY

> EDD- July 27th, 2004

> IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

> Mommy to:

> &

> (twin boys 7 1/2),

> Madison, daughter, 5 years and

> Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

> Gastric Bypass Surgery-

> October 18th 2002

> Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

> goal 170 after baby

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for understanding. Isn't it wonderful to be able to look

at yourself in a mirror and feel like " YEAH, YOU GO GIRL!!!! " There

were so many times through the years when I would go to a restaurant

and find myself looking at myself in a mirror. I couldn't stand it,

I always changed places with someone. I used to sit in the passenger-

side of my car when the dh was driving and see myself in theright

sideview mirror and want to cry from total disgust! NOT ANYMORE AND

HOPEFULLY IF I DO WHAT I'MSUPPOSED TO DO, NEVER AGAIN!

lORIb

> I find women are catty, all women. ANyways, i think the thin ones

defiantley

> do NOT understand our excitement over losing weight. They never had

to have

> this problem. I am thinking I would be very tempted to tell them

how I feel and

> what your hubby told you. I think they need to know you are NOT

bragging but

> are HAPPY. Maybe they are just IGNORANT. But you ahev a right to

feel great

> about yourself and I know i do too. I LOVE seeing a smaller me in

pics and in

> the mirror. i still have more to go but I am still a happy girl.

Good Luck

> everything

>

>

> God Bless,

> Robin, NorthEastern, NY

> EDD- July 27th, 2004

> IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

> Mommy to:

> &

> (twin boys 7 1/2),

> Madison, daughter, 5 years and

> Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

> Gastric Bypass Surgery-

> October 18th 2002

> Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

> goal 170 after baby

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes you are correct Thank God we have this group where everyone

identifies! I LOVE MY LIFE! (at least most of the time these days!!)

I just went on a plane for the first time since I lost weight and I

was able to get the seat belt on with about four inches to spare, I

was able to put my tray down and not have it sitting on my

stomach!!! It was actually about three inches away from me! and

there was actually extra room in my seat.

I too wanted to be " foxy at 50 " !!!! I THINK IT WILL HAPPEN (-:

GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK!

> I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI!

> I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm

seeing? It is

> just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy when

I turn the

> big 5-0. And I want to look good.

> As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they cannot

comprehend

> what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a

great site.

> We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and

experiencing.

> Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge!

> Joyce B

> 268/220/ ?

> 1/15/04

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes you are correct Thank God we have this group where everyone

identifies! I LOVE MY LIFE! (at least most of the time these days!!)

I just went on a plane for the first time since I lost weight and I

was able to get the seat belt on with about four inches to spare, I

was able to put my tray down and not have it sitting on my

stomach!!! It was actually about three inches away from me! and

there was actually extra room in my seat.

I too wanted to be " foxy at 50 " !!!! I THINK IT WILL HAPPEN (-:

GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK!

> I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI!

> I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm

seeing? It is

> just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy when

I turn the

> big 5-0. And I want to look good.

> As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they cannot

comprehend

> what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a

great site.

> We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and

experiencing.

> Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge!

> Joyce B

> 268/220/ ?

> 1/15/04

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

hey loriB, amiga. i agree w/ the input from the group. these so

called friends need to be downgraded to acquaintances, u frankly do

not need their baggage. continue working on the mission of the

board, but no need for self disclosure or sharing w/ these folks.

don't let 'em get u down, you're working on the new u. keep on

keeping on & CHIN UP, hunny.

& u can always make connections @ in-person wls support groups. my

miami wls budds are some of the most outstanding ppl i ever met. ( &

coincidentally, there's a handful of us in the legal profession...)

lori h.

> well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc.

> Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She

> says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes

> herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face.

You

> are right about even skinny people having low self esteem.

>

> The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and

> these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some

of

> them). I'm considering dropping off the board.

> Thanks for your response

[Guest guest]

hey loriB, amiga. i agree w/ the input from the group. these so

called friends need to be downgraded to acquaintances, u frankly do

not need their baggage. continue working on the mission of the

board, but no need for self disclosure or sharing w/ these folks.

don't let 'em get u down, you're working on the new u. keep on

keeping on & CHIN UP, hunny.

& u can always make connections @ in-person wls support groups. my

miami wls budds are some of the most outstanding ppl i ever met. ( &

coincidentally, there's a handful of us in the legal profession...)

lori h.

> well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc.

> Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She

> says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes

> herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face.

You

> are right about even skinny people having low self esteem.

>

> The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and

> these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some

of

> them). I'm considering dropping off the board.

> Thanks for your response

[Guest guest]

hey loriB, amiga. i agree w/ the input from the group. these so

called friends need to be downgraded to acquaintances, u frankly do

not need their baggage. continue working on the mission of the

board, but no need for self disclosure or sharing w/ these folks.

don't let 'em get u down, you're working on the new u. keep on

keeping on & CHIN UP, hunny.

& u can always make connections @ in-person wls support groups. my

miami wls budds are some of the most outstanding ppl i ever met. ( &

coincidentally, there's a handful of us in the legal profession...)

lori h.

> well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc.

> Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She

> says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes

> herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face.

You

> are right about even skinny people having low self esteem.

>

> The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and

> these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some

of

> them). I'm considering dropping off the board.

> Thanks for your response

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lor, " we'll talk " !!!! I plan to start going back to my

support group in June for sure.

> > well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc.

> > Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She

> > says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes

> > herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face.

> You

> > are right about even skinny people having low self esteem.

> >

> > The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and

> > these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some

> of

> > them). I'm considering dropping off the board.

> > Thanks for your response

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lor, " we'll talk " !!!! I plan to start going back to my

support group in June for sure.

> > well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc.

> > Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She

> > says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes

> > herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face.

> You

> > are right about even skinny people having low self esteem.

> >

> > The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and

> > these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some

> of

> > them). I'm considering dropping off the board.

> > Thanks for your response

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lor, " we'll talk " !!!! I plan to start going back to my

support group in June for sure.

> > well some of these women are going through messey divorces, etc.

> > Another gal is probly about 350 pounds and is probly jealous. She

> > says she doesn't need the surgery cuz she is healthy and likes

> > herself the way she is, but I see a lot of " sadness " in her face.

> You

> > are right about even skinny people having low self esteem.

> >

> > The problem is I serve on the board of directors of my group and

> > these are the people who are giving me the rough time (just some

> of

> > them). I'm considering dropping off the board.

> > Thanks for your response

[Guest guest]

Hi Friends,

Oh do I know what you are going through and I am Pre-op! I have a

very dear friend,thin one that is,who I share everything with. We

have been like sisters for 20 years. Well low and behold, she is

trying to talk me out of WLS. She knows how I feel and how much I

want to live a normal life with less weight. Now that I am seeing a

psy that treats eating disorders, she thinks I will be able to loose

on my own. Her words to me this AM, " When you work through why you

over eat, you will loose. " My goodness would that not be

wonderful! Why did I not think of it 40 years ago...LOL...I think

thin folks just have no idea what we go through, medical problems,

as well as all the other side effects.

So you go girlfriend, tell everyone how much you have lost and how

grand you feel about yourself. Surely to God, they have their own

disabilities, perhaps mental ones!!!

I am very proud for you. One day soon I will be where you are, on

the other side!

Marla

> > I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS LORI!

> > I am experiencing theses same things! Who is that person I'm

> seeing? It is

> > just so weird! I'm also 49 and decided I wanted to be healthy

when

> I turn the

> > big 5-0. And I want to look good.

> > As for your " friends " , they just don't understand and they

cannot

> comprehend

> > what a new experience this is for us. That's why this is such a

> great site.

> > We all understand exactly what everyone here is feeling and

> experiencing.

> > Keep up the great job! And keep sharing here, we don't judge!

> > Joyce B

> > 268/220/ ?

> > 1/15/04

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I have to tell you that I was also skeptical about losing weight in

just two weeks. I had an Lap RNY on March 22, 2004. I also went

for my follow-up appointment on April 9, when I was surprised by a

30 lb weight loss!!! I've been following the diet and walking

everyday. I can drink nearly 52oz of water by sipping every 10-

15min. I couldn't tell right off that the weight was coming off,

but my sister noticed. I do not regret having this surgery for one

minute. I'm glad that I did it, it's a chance for me to live my

life to its fullest. There are a few of my family members who

weren't so supportive. They tho't I took the easy way out by having

surgery. I think if it was so easy to lose weight, I would've done

it years ago. I wish you all the best and want you to keep your

chin up. Just remember, we didn't get fat overnight it took years.

This surgery is a tool to help us along.

Verna in OK

Lap RNY 3/22/04

Post-op: 337...and losing.

> ,

>

> I bet with the swelling and gas associated with the surgery it's

tough to

> notice physically. You should take a trip to your dr.'s office

and check.

> It just might make you feel better. I have a very hard time

beleiving that

> with this tool and following the dr.'s orders, you wouldn't lose

any weight

> in 2 weeks. Something just doesn't seem right to me about that.

And feel

> good about yourself regardless! You did something amazing for

yourself, for

> your health and for your life!

>

> Take care!

>

> Vandever

> Lap/RNY 4-6-04

> 304-287-165

>

> Re: Re: My " friends "

>

>

> > Don't let those girls bother you, they are just jealous. I hope

that I

> can

> > feel as good as you in that length of time. My surgery was 2

weeks ago

> and I

> > just don't think I have lost anything. I don't feel like I look

any

> different.

> > I know I need to be patient but, it's frustrating.

> >

> > in MI

> > 308 post-op 4/2/04

> >

> >

> >