Guest guest Posted June 26, 2001 Report Share Posted June 26, 2001 I know this is several days after the fact, and I wanted to do this sooner but sometimes don't get to my computer much for a couple of days. I wanted to thank everyone who shared their stories in response to the question about how mothers cope with their families and their illness. Several of them struck a chord in me, and I had to print them up and read them to my husband. I think I have figured out what is causing my husband's lack of emotion lately. He is fighting so hard to not deal with what's going on by ignoring it. He says when he thinks about it or talks about it, it makes him get depressed. It's as if by talking about it, it makes it real; but maybe if he ignores it, he might one day realize it was all in his head or something. So instead, he lays in bed all day thinking about all the things he used to be able to do and can't now (like that's not depressing!). But he has buried these things so deep to avoid them, that all of his emotion (good and bad) is locked up as well, and right now there is nothing left for his family (which also upsets him). He already had a referral in to a psychiatrist to evaluate his meds, but I'm trying to convince him to give therapy a try. I am convinced that if he learns how to cope with his illness (among other things), though it might be painful at first, it will free up his emotions to devote back to his relationships. I told him, too, that he would not go to therapy alone, that whatever one goes through we both do. I'm having enough trouble coping myself that my doctor put me on an antidepressant last week. My blood pressure has been too high, and the more they treat it, the higher it gets. She thinks it's stress rather than physiological, and is hoping if I get help coping it will lower my blood pressure. Also, he won't really talk about the issues. He claims his mind goes blank and he forgets to mention major details -- which I do not doubt. He gives them the answers they want to hear (the ones he deems " correct " ) instead of his answers. I have no problem talking about what's going on, and I would like to be able to give enough information that the dr. can use to help . Hopefully, we'll get someone who will be just right for him, who understands fms as well as head injuries. If thinks for a minute therapy isn't working he will not do it again -- provided I get him to do it at all. Angie Madsen e-mail me at madsens@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2001 Report Share Posted June 28, 2001 abraxis3@... Hi Angie, I'm sorry that you and your husband are going through such a tough time. I have said this to several people, because it has changed my life so dramatically, and I feel that the best gift I could offer the both of you is to read, " Conversations with God " , by Neale Walsh. I don't talk about having an illness anymore, because it will only create more of the same experience for me, which I choose not to experience anymore, and my health has improved so much in the past few months, since I began applying this to my life. I know that this sounds strange, to say the least. To explain it...this takes a book! There are those that think that I am always talking about 'positive thinking', and, yes, this is a big part of it, but it's much more than that! My prayers and best wishes go to you! Love, Sue --- Madsens wrote: > I know this is several days after the fact, and I > wanted to do this sooner but sometimes don't get to > my computer much for a couple of days. > > I wanted to thank everyone who shared their stories > in response to the question about how mothers cope > with their families and their illness. Several of > them struck a chord in me, and I had to print them > up and read them to my husband. > > I think I have figured out what is causing my > husband's lack of emotion lately. He is fighting so > hard to not deal with what's going on by ignoring > it. He says when he thinks about it or talks about > it, it makes him get depressed. It's as if by > talking about it, it makes it real; but maybe if he > ignores it, he might one day realize it was all in > his head or something. > > So instead, he lays in bed all day thinking about > all the things he used to be able to do and can't > now (like that's not depressing!). But he has > buried these things so deep to avoid them, that all > of his emotion (good and bad) is locked up as well, > and right now there is nothing left for his family > (which also upsets him). > > He already had a referral in to a psychiatrist to > evaluate his meds, but I'm trying to convince him to > give therapy a try. I am convinced that if he > learns how to cope with his illness (among other > things), though it might be painful at first, it > will free up his emotions to devote back to his > relationships. > > I told him, too, that he would not go to therapy > alone, that whatever one goes through we both do. > I'm having enough trouble coping myself that my > doctor put me on an antidepressant last week. My > blood pressure has been too high, and the more they > treat it, the higher it gets. She thinks it's > stress rather than physiological, and is hoping if I > get help coping it will lower my blood pressure. > > Also, he won't really talk about the issues. He > claims his mind goes blank and he forgets to mention > major details -- which I do not doubt. He gives > them the answers they want to hear (the ones he > deems " correct " ) instead of his answers. I have no > problem talking about what's going on, and I would > like to be able to give enough information that the > dr. can use to help . > > Hopefully, we'll get someone who will be just right > for him, who understands fms as well as head > injuries. If thinks for a minute therapy > isn't working he will not do it again -- provided I > get him to do it at all. > > Angie Madsen > e-mail me at madsens@... > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2001 Report Share Posted June 28, 2001 abraxis3@... Hi Angie, I'm sorry that you and your husband are going through such a tough time. I have said this to several people, because it has changed my life so dramatically, and I feel that the best gift I could offer the both of you is to read, " Conversations with God " , by Neale Walsh. I don't talk about having an illness anymore, because it will only create more of the same experience for me, which I choose not to experience anymore, and my health has improved so much in the past few months, since I began applying this to my life. I know that this sounds strange, to say the least. To explain it...this takes a book! There are those that think that I am always talking about 'positive thinking', and, yes, this is a big part of it, but it's much more than that! My prayers and best wishes go to you! Love, Sue --- Madsens wrote: > I know this is several days after the fact, and I > wanted to do this sooner but sometimes don't get to > my computer much for a couple of days. > > I wanted to thank everyone who shared their stories > in response to the question about how mothers cope > with their families and their illness. Several of > them struck a chord in me, and I had to print them > up and read them to my husband. > > I think I have figured out what is causing my > husband's lack of emotion lately. He is fighting so > hard to not deal with what's going on by ignoring > it. He says when he thinks about it or talks about > it, it makes him get depressed. It's as if by > talking about it, it makes it real; but maybe if he > ignores it, he might one day realize it was all in > his head or something. > > So instead, he lays in bed all day thinking about > all the things he used to be able to do and can't > now (like that's not depressing!). But he has > buried these things so deep to avoid them, that all > of his emotion (good and bad) is locked up as well, > and right now there is nothing left for his family > (which also upsets him). > > He already had a referral in to a psychiatrist to > evaluate his meds, but I'm trying to convince him to > give therapy a try. I am convinced that if he > learns how to cope with his illness (among other > things), though it might be painful at first, it > will free up his emotions to devote back to his > relationships. > > I told him, too, that he would not go to therapy > alone, that whatever one goes through we both do. > I'm having enough trouble coping myself that my > doctor put me on an antidepressant last week. My > blood pressure has been too high, and the more they > treat it, the higher it gets. She thinks it's > stress rather than physiological, and is hoping if I > get help coping it will lower my blood pressure. > > Also, he won't really talk about the issues. He > claims his mind goes blank and he forgets to mention > major details -- which I do not doubt. He gives > them the answers they want to hear (the ones he > deems " correct " ) instead of his answers. I have no > problem talking about what's going on, and I would > like to be able to give enough information that the > dr. can use to help . > > Hopefully, we'll get someone who will be just right > for him, who understands fms as well as head > injuries. If thinks for a minute therapy > isn't working he will not do it again -- provided I > get him to do it at all. > > Angie Madsen > e-mail me at madsens@... > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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