Guest guest Posted January 31, 2001 Report Share Posted January 31, 2001 Re: My First Time > Hi, me again... > > > > acutally o learned i coudl do that on my own, havent tried in a > > while but i had knack for saying i will wake up at so and so time, > > even when it was not my normal sleep time, i and would wake > > up. > > > > > > > It's interesting how your friend's higher power " woke " her up. I > > attended a meditation course a few years ago which included a > > section on how to throw away your alarm clock. You take some > > time before going to bed, slow down your mind, and visualize the > > time you would like to wake up. Don't " say " it in your mind. See > > what the clock would look like at the time you want to wake up. > > I was interested you guys picked up on this part...to me it was an > example of the level of trivia and detail that I found people > attributing to their HPs. Constantly. Zealous Christians are the same way. Whenever something goes right, " Praise Jesus " whenever somethig goes wrong, " Damn me " . I think everyone in this group probably picked up on that. AAs certainly are powerless over everything but their imagination wh4en it comes to their HP. That is, if it was a positive > thing in their lives. If it was a negative or they happened to make > a bad decision, it was " self-will run riot. " I could never reconcile > the way I felt about that with the group norm. It was me, after all, > who decided to come to the meeting, me who decided not to drink, me > who decided all the infinitesimal decisions that we are all > confronted with daily. The idea of this HP hanging around over my > shoulder making sure my outfit didn't clash just didn't sit well with > me. ;^) And it was YOU who stayed sober. Thats where they get ya! They claim YOU can't. Tell'em to go to hell. > Then some really bad things did happen: 4 miscarriages in 1 1/2 > years. The reaction went along the lines of " God never gives us more > than we can handle, " " You're probably lucky...who knows what would > have happened if that hadn't of, there was probably something > wrong. " Some even questioned if I'd gone back to drinking, perhaps > calling down the HP's wrath and insinuating that the baby might have > been alcohol syndrome. I hadn't had a drop in years at that point. You were still around steppers? Maybe God was punishing you for being around steppers! Thats what you should tell the hurtful ones. I don't know how that sounds to you. Maybe its not amusing, but I must say I am very very sorry you " handled " so much shit. > I don't think those people were intentionally trying to make me sad > and angry. I just think that real problems are beyond the scope of > what they can come to grips with. Waking up on time, now THAT we can > deal with. What puzzles me is why I ever expected more!!!!!!!! let me just say it wasn't your best thinking that got you there, I'd say your best thinking got you out. Some of your worst thinking got you in with that horde of demons. > I can't seem to shake it: THANKS for letting me share! > Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2001 Report Share Posted January 31, 2001 Re: My First Time > Hi, me again... > > > > acutally o learned i coudl do that on my own, havent tried in a > > while but i had knack for saying i will wake up at so and so time, > > even when it was not my normal sleep time, i and would wake > > up. > > > > > > > It's interesting how your friend's higher power " woke " her up. I > > attended a meditation course a few years ago which included a > > section on how to throw away your alarm clock. You take some > > time before going to bed, slow down your mind, and visualize the > > time you would like to wake up. Don't " say " it in your mind. See > > what the clock would look like at the time you want to wake up. > > I was interested you guys picked up on this part...to me it was an > example of the level of trivia and detail that I found people > attributing to their HPs. Constantly. Zealous Christians are the same way. Whenever something goes right, " Praise Jesus " whenever somethig goes wrong, " Damn me " . I think everyone in this group probably picked up on that. AAs certainly are powerless over everything but their imagination wh4en it comes to their HP. That is, if it was a positive > thing in their lives. If it was a negative or they happened to make > a bad decision, it was " self-will run riot. " I could never reconcile > the way I felt about that with the group norm. It was me, after all, > who decided to come to the meeting, me who decided not to drink, me > who decided all the infinitesimal decisions that we are all > confronted with daily. The idea of this HP hanging around over my > shoulder making sure my outfit didn't clash just didn't sit well with > me. ;^) And it was YOU who stayed sober. Thats where they get ya! They claim YOU can't. Tell'em to go to hell. > Then some really bad things did happen: 4 miscarriages in 1 1/2 > years. The reaction went along the lines of " God never gives us more > than we can handle, " " You're probably lucky...who knows what would > have happened if that hadn't of, there was probably something > wrong. " Some even questioned if I'd gone back to drinking, perhaps > calling down the HP's wrath and insinuating that the baby might have > been alcohol syndrome. I hadn't had a drop in years at that point. You were still around steppers? Maybe God was punishing you for being around steppers! Thats what you should tell the hurtful ones. I don't know how that sounds to you. Maybe its not amusing, but I must say I am very very sorry you " handled " so much shit. > I don't think those people were intentionally trying to make me sad > and angry. I just think that real problems are beyond the scope of > what they can come to grips with. Waking up on time, now THAT we can > deal with. What puzzles me is why I ever expected more!!!!!!!! let me just say it wasn't your best thinking that got you there, I'd say your best thinking got you out. Some of your worst thinking got you in with that horde of demons. > I can't seem to shake it: THANKS for letting me share! > Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2001 Report Share Posted January 31, 2001 Hi, Thank you for responding to what I wrote on this one. I've been reading the posts here and am finding that I have more to say than the amount of time I have to say it in. I was pretty deeply brainwashed into it during my three years. I didn't know any better then. I wanted out of my alcohol and drug use and AA was presented as the only way out. That should have flagged me right there. What makes me the maddest about the situation is the continuing lack of information and options for people who are just now coming into recovery. How can a group say that they have the ONLY answer? One quote I read (and I can't remember where) was: " If your only tool is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. " This rang true for me about how AA approaches things. One of the most powerful things for me about AA was the fact that there were other people there who had been through some of the same things I had. I overlooked a lot in order to feel that I wasn't alone. When I left, I felt completely out there. I'm really glad to find some alternatives and people who have passed through it. Regarding the discussion about whether to move the list, my only input is that I want to know where it moves to, if it does. Seeya, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2001 Report Share Posted February 2, 2001 In a message dated 1/31/01 8:22:20 PM Pacific Standard Time, ahicks@... writes: << One of the most powerful things for me about AA was the fact that there were other people there who had been through some of the same things I had. I overlooked a lot in order to feel that I wasn't alone. When I left, I felt completely out there. I'm really glad to find some alternatives and people who have passed through it. >> understand . Piper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2001 Report Share Posted February 2, 2001 In a message dated 1/31/01 8:22:20 PM Pacific Standard Time, ahicks@... writes: << One of the most powerful things for me about AA was the fact that there were other people there who had been through some of the same things I had. I overlooked a lot in order to feel that I wasn't alone. When I left, I felt completely out there. I'm really glad to find some alternatives and people who have passed through it. >> understand . Piper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2001 Report Share Posted February 2, 2001 In a message dated 1/31/01 8:22:20 PM Pacific Standard Time, ahicks@... writes: << One of the most powerful things for me about AA was the fact that there were other people there who had been through some of the same things I had. I overlooked a lot in order to feel that I wasn't alone. When I left, I felt completely out there. I'm really glad to find some alternatives and people who have passed through it. >> understand . Piper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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