My vacation.........

[Guest guest]

Hello*!!!!! well I am back to work now........I missed everyone and can't

wait to read through the mails......

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I hope everyone had a much

better weekend then I did. Let me first say that my vacation started and

ended the same day. I thought we were going to Coldwater MI (lower/middle of

the state near ohio/indiana), but BOb surprised me and we ended up over on

the other side of MI....in Benton Harbor right off lake MI. I was happy to

be going somewhere new. WE get there and the cabin was nice (can't take our

camper because we have no truck with a hitch....) but HOT....so we bring in

our 3 fans we brought and unloaded everything. The off to the store for a

few groceries.....took forever to find a store....came back and we were going

swimming and this is where it went downhill. Well I have always been vague

on how much I weigh, but let's just say I am a big girl....well the pool only

had ladders to get in and out......and I am sorry I don't feel comfy at my

size to be on a ladder (when especially it is wet)...so I sat on the side

lines......and started feeling sorry for myself. Okay so Bob and Sierra had

fun and I was trying my hardest to have fun....but well couldn't really. Now

I have to go potty...and holy crap were the stalls small.....so I am sweating

like a hog and now feeling worse...I was heading to the camp store when 2

teen boys started laughing at me and well I knew what they were talking about

(my size)....so okay 3 defeats in under an hour. We head back to the cabin

and I am near tears by now....walk in and I am roasting. You all know how

hot it has been......well I guess I am used to my A/C and well fans were not

cutting it (if anyone out there is reading this and only has fans and no a/c

I really am sorry*!!!!!!!! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ) So I had it

and broke down....I wanted to go home and I was nothing more then a fat

slob......so Bob and sierra packed up while I was sobbing. On the way home I

decided that I am looking into gastric bypass..(Bariatric center) I can't

live my life like this anymore*!!!!!! I am tired of not being what I know I

can be......or at least I think I can be. I want to do things that either I

am affriad of my weight to do or other people make fun of the fat chick. I

called yesterday and I have a 6 month " dieting " time that I have to spend

with a DR before my ins will cover the procedure. I was upset at first about

the 6 months, but then again I will have the procedure competely covered. So

that is about it on me....Oh yeah and Bob and I are now talking about waiting

until our 6th anniv to renew our vows.....I mean I hate to put all this money

out and then hate how I felt or looked a year later you know. The only

deposit we have out there is the hal;l and I am sure they will work with

us......and that way the wedding will be on a SAT. Basically I am pretty

down on myself right now.......but I have hit rock bottom (hahahahaha get

it) and I can't stand to be like this. Bob has been nothing but supportive

through this crisis in my life and I am so grateful to have him*!!!!!!!!! I

am sorry this is long........but shit this vacation was to be fun and it

turned out to be he**