Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Alison, As you can see by the repsonses you've already gotten, the answers to your question is simply no. No, you are not being irrational, or losing your mind, or weird. You're a mom who is reacting like a normal mom who wants to protect her child from anything and everything. You don't know what is coming. You don't know the future, so you have to take it as it comes and it does get easier. You are allowed to feel scared and angry and sad ... all those emotions are very valid and they will diminish. I don't think they ever fully go away. You'll get use to the aids, and your daughter will get use to them. The aids and everything associated with her hearing will become just another detail in a normal busy life. There will be people who stare and people who come up to talk to you because their own child has hearing aids. My HOH son, Ian, walks up to babies with aids and makes faces at them and plays with them. He feels a connection to them, so he does that. The moms are usually happy to see him, and they ask me questions about Ian. Strangers can be totally insane ... I'm sure of it. When I was preganant with my HOH son (and 30 years old) a total stranger came up to me and asked if I was going keep the baby or give it up for adoption. She thought I was a high school student. She wanted to counsel me on the wonders of adoption. The reason she felt so free to speak -- I looked so young and was not wearing a wedding ring. I asked her how many 7-month-pregnant women she knew who still had their rings on? Mine came off before they needed to be cut off. My daughter (hearing) had almost no hair until she was 2½ and many total strangers came up to me to ask how her chemotherapy was going and if it made her sick. They wanted to tell me stories of their own child/grandchild who had chemo. My daughter didn't have any illness that needed chemo. She was simply bald. Then in about 3 months suddenly ther hair grew in ... lots of it, with ringlets at the ends. Beautiful hair, tons of it. My friends teased me that I was feeding her some form of fertilizer. You can't be afraid of what strangers will say or think. In my experience people will say just about anything that comes into their heads and never think that it might be inappropriate. Smile at them and walk away. You don't have to talk to them. The most wonderful compliment paid to me was from an little old italian lady in the supermarket. My 2 month old son was happy, gurgling and flirting with me as we shopped. She came up and informed me that I was obviously a very good mother, because my baby was so obviously happy. A simple compliment ... but it made my day. It can still make my day. And he was a very happy baby who is now a happy young man. So, think of that when anyone stares. Watch your beautiful baby laugh when you make faces with her and know that you are doing a great job. Smile broadly at strangers when they stare and say " Isn't she beautiful? ... and such a happy baby ... I can't help but stare at her myself. " and walk away. Best -- Jill In a message dated 10/21/2004 8:08:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time, aldelgaudio@... writes: Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... Alison Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Alison, As you can see by the repsonses you've already gotten, the answers to your question is simply no. No, you are not being irrational, or losing your mind, or weird. You're a mom who is reacting like a normal mom who wants to protect her child from anything and everything. You don't know what is coming. You don't know the future, so you have to take it as it comes and it does get easier. You are allowed to feel scared and angry and sad ... all those emotions are very valid and they will diminish. I don't think they ever fully go away. You'll get use to the aids, and your daughter will get use to them. The aids and everything associated with her hearing will become just another detail in a normal busy life. There will be people who stare and people who come up to talk to you because their own child has hearing aids. My HOH son, Ian, walks up to babies with aids and makes faces at them and plays with them. He feels a connection to them, so he does that. The moms are usually happy to see him, and they ask me questions about Ian. Strangers can be totally insane ... I'm sure of it. When I was preganant with my HOH son (and 30 years old) a total stranger came up to me and asked if I was going keep the baby or give it up for adoption. She thought I was a high school student. She wanted to counsel me on the wonders of adoption. The reason she felt so free to speak -- I looked so young and was not wearing a wedding ring. I asked her how many 7-month-pregnant women she knew who still had their rings on? Mine came off before they needed to be cut off. My daughter (hearing) had almost no hair until she was 2½ and many total strangers came up to me to ask how her chemotherapy was going and if it made her sick. They wanted to tell me stories of their own child/grandchild who had chemo. My daughter didn't have any illness that needed chemo. She was simply bald. Then in about 3 months suddenly ther hair grew in ... lots of it, with ringlets at the ends. Beautiful hair, tons of it. My friends teased me that I was feeding her some form of fertilizer. You can't be afraid of what strangers will say or think. In my experience people will say just about anything that comes into their heads and never think that it might be inappropriate. Smile at them and walk away. You don't have to talk to them. The most wonderful compliment paid to me was from an little old italian lady in the supermarket. My 2 month old son was happy, gurgling and flirting with me as we shopped. She came up and informed me that I was obviously a very good mother, because my baby was so obviously happy. A simple compliment ... but it made my day. It can still make my day. And he was a very happy baby who is now a happy young man. So, think of that when anyone stares. Watch your beautiful baby laugh when you make faces with her and know that you are doing a great job. Smile broadly at strangers when they stare and say " Isn't she beautiful? ... and such a happy baby ... I can't help but stare at her myself. " and walk away. Best -- Jill In a message dated 10/21/2004 8:08:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time, aldelgaudio@... writes: Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... Alison Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Alison, As you can see by the repsonses you've already gotten, the answers to your question is simply no. No, you are not being irrational, or losing your mind, or weird. You're a mom who is reacting like a normal mom who wants to protect her child from anything and everything. You don't know what is coming. You don't know the future, so you have to take it as it comes and it does get easier. You are allowed to feel scared and angry and sad ... all those emotions are very valid and they will diminish. I don't think they ever fully go away. You'll get use to the aids, and your daughter will get use to them. The aids and everything associated with her hearing will become just another detail in a normal busy life. There will be people who stare and people who come up to talk to you because their own child has hearing aids. My HOH son, Ian, walks up to babies with aids and makes faces at them and plays with them. He feels a connection to them, so he does that. The moms are usually happy to see him, and they ask me questions about Ian. Strangers can be totally insane ... I'm sure of it. When I was preganant with my HOH son (and 30 years old) a total stranger came up to me and asked if I was going keep the baby or give it up for adoption. She thought I was a high school student. She wanted to counsel me on the wonders of adoption. The reason she felt so free to speak -- I looked so young and was not wearing a wedding ring. I asked her how many 7-month-pregnant women she knew who still had their rings on? Mine came off before they needed to be cut off. My daughter (hearing) had almost no hair until she was 2½ and many total strangers came up to me to ask how her chemotherapy was going and if it made her sick. They wanted to tell me stories of their own child/grandchild who had chemo. My daughter didn't have any illness that needed chemo. She was simply bald. Then in about 3 months suddenly ther hair grew in ... lots of it, with ringlets at the ends. Beautiful hair, tons of it. My friends teased me that I was feeding her some form of fertilizer. You can't be afraid of what strangers will say or think. In my experience people will say just about anything that comes into their heads and never think that it might be inappropriate. Smile at them and walk away. You don't have to talk to them. The most wonderful compliment paid to me was from an little old italian lady in the supermarket. My 2 month old son was happy, gurgling and flirting with me as we shopped. She came up and informed me that I was obviously a very good mother, because my baby was so obviously happy. A simple compliment ... but it made my day. It can still make my day. And he was a very happy baby who is now a happy young man. So, think of that when anyone stares. Watch your beautiful baby laugh when you make faces with her and know that you are doing a great job. Smile broadly at strangers when they stare and say " Isn't she beautiful? ... and such a happy baby ... I can't help but stare at her myself. " and walk away. Best -- Jill In a message dated 10/21/2004 8:08:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time, aldelgaudio@... writes: Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... Alison Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Hi Alison - neither of my boys were diagnosed as babies (they were 3-1/4 years and 15 months at diagnosis) so never had to face trying to keep hearing aids on a baby. Although I guess the flip side of the coin is that my greatest disappointment is that my boys weren't diagnosed as infants - and they would have been - because both states where we lived at the time didn't offer newborn hearing screening. My boys now are 12 and 10. First, you're not being irrational at all - you feel the way you feel and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't! I remember when my second son was diagnosed 2 months after my 3-1/2 year old got his hearing aids thinking " I did this to you " which is in true as far as it goes (due to genetics). People told me I shouldn't say that but I think I had to beat myself up to get past feeling that way. I also remember wondering how in the world we were going to handle those tiny hearing aids, earmolds, taking care of them - it was so overwhelming to me! I think many, if not all, of us know exactly how you feel. I initially also felt bad, angry, etc. at people who would ask me about their hearing aids. Particularly for Sam (my younger son), he's very blonde and the aids were really visible initially. I think in part it was due to me not being comfortable with them - I was still grieving about their hearing loss. At some point I realized that people will ask - and by telling them what's up, it helps educate them so maybe they'll be a little more understanding with my kids? My boys now have really fun earmolds on their hearing aids - Tom's are red starbursts; Sam's are blue and red - for the Red Sox (go Red Sox - oops - sorry - I digress! - sorry Jill he he he). It helped me a lot to talk with other parents - both via email and in person and to realize that we've all been where you are. It does get easier - managing their hearing aids is just a part of things now to the point I don't even think about it. And I'm so proud now when a child or adult asks about their hearing aids, one of the boys will pipe up and explain what's up. It's taken awhile to get to where we are today. I truly had to grieve their hearing loss - it was so hard at the time! I remember when they were little walking up behind them and seeing their hearing aids and feeling so sad. I honestly don't feel that way any longer - it's just part of who they are. Be gentle with yourself and realize what you're feeling is normal - and we're all here if you need us. Take care! Barbara --- You wrote: When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... --- end of quote --- ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Hi Alison - neither of my boys were diagnosed as babies (they were 3-1/4 years and 15 months at diagnosis) so never had to face trying to keep hearing aids on a baby. Although I guess the flip side of the coin is that my greatest disappointment is that my boys weren't diagnosed as infants - and they would have been - because both states where we lived at the time didn't offer newborn hearing screening. My boys now are 12 and 10. First, you're not being irrational at all - you feel the way you feel and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't! I remember when my second son was diagnosed 2 months after my 3-1/2 year old got his hearing aids thinking " I did this to you " which is in true as far as it goes (due to genetics). People told me I shouldn't say that but I think I had to beat myself up to get past feeling that way. I also remember wondering how in the world we were going to handle those tiny hearing aids, earmolds, taking care of them - it was so overwhelming to me! I think many, if not all, of us know exactly how you feel. I initially also felt bad, angry, etc. at people who would ask me about their hearing aids. Particularly for Sam (my younger son), he's very blonde and the aids were really visible initially. I think in part it was due to me not being comfortable with them - I was still grieving about their hearing loss. At some point I realized that people will ask - and by telling them what's up, it helps educate them so maybe they'll be a little more understanding with my kids? My boys now have really fun earmolds on their hearing aids - Tom's are red starbursts; Sam's are blue and red - for the Red Sox (go Red Sox - oops - sorry - I digress! - sorry Jill he he he). It helped me a lot to talk with other parents - both via email and in person and to realize that we've all been where you are. It does get easier - managing their hearing aids is just a part of things now to the point I don't even think about it. And I'm so proud now when a child or adult asks about their hearing aids, one of the boys will pipe up and explain what's up. It's taken awhile to get to where we are today. I truly had to grieve their hearing loss - it was so hard at the time! I remember when they were little walking up behind them and seeing their hearing aids and feeling so sad. I honestly don't feel that way any longer - it's just part of who they are. Be gentle with yourself and realize what you're feeling is normal - and we're all here if you need us. Take care! Barbara --- You wrote: When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... --- end of quote --- ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Hi Alison - neither of my boys were diagnosed as babies (they were 3-1/4 years and 15 months at diagnosis) so never had to face trying to keep hearing aids on a baby. Although I guess the flip side of the coin is that my greatest disappointment is that my boys weren't diagnosed as infants - and they would have been - because both states where we lived at the time didn't offer newborn hearing screening. My boys now are 12 and 10. First, you're not being irrational at all - you feel the way you feel and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't! I remember when my second son was diagnosed 2 months after my 3-1/2 year old got his hearing aids thinking " I did this to you " which is in true as far as it goes (due to genetics). People told me I shouldn't say that but I think I had to beat myself up to get past feeling that way. I also remember wondering how in the world we were going to handle those tiny hearing aids, earmolds, taking care of them - it was so overwhelming to me! I think many, if not all, of us know exactly how you feel. I initially also felt bad, angry, etc. at people who would ask me about their hearing aids. Particularly for Sam (my younger son), he's very blonde and the aids were really visible initially. I think in part it was due to me not being comfortable with them - I was still grieving about their hearing loss. At some point I realized that people will ask - and by telling them what's up, it helps educate them so maybe they'll be a little more understanding with my kids? My boys now have really fun earmolds on their hearing aids - Tom's are red starbursts; Sam's are blue and red - for the Red Sox (go Red Sox - oops - sorry - I digress! - sorry Jill he he he). It helped me a lot to talk with other parents - both via email and in person and to realize that we've all been where you are. It does get easier - managing their hearing aids is just a part of things now to the point I don't even think about it. And I'm so proud now when a child or adult asks about their hearing aids, one of the boys will pipe up and explain what's up. It's taken awhile to get to where we are today. I truly had to grieve their hearing loss - it was so hard at the time! I remember when they were little walking up behind them and seeing their hearing aids and feeling so sad. I honestly don't feel that way any longer - it's just part of who they are. Be gentle with yourself and realize what you're feeling is normal - and we're all here if you need us. Take care! Barbara --- You wrote: When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... --- end of quote --- ******************************* Barbara Mellert Manager, Social Science Computing Kiewit Computing Services Dartmouth College 13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121 Hanover NH 03755 Telephone: 603/646-2877 URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Hi Alison, Yes, it does get easier. In fact, I still think that the first months of dealing with the hearing loss diagnosis are the hardest part. Soon, it will be normal to see your daughter in aids and living with them will just be part of your routine. You may want to check out Dave Luterman's book, " When Your Child is Deaf " for thoughts on how to respond to your own emotions with this diagnosis. Although the communication method discussed in the book is not something we believe in for our family, I still find the early chapters on the emotional implications for the rest of the family to be valuable. In terms of support groups, there's Parent Connection, a group of families from Massachusetts. You can contact for more info ( or wills0903@...) or Joanne Travers (greatervoice@...). The next event should be in December. Also, Family TIES in Massachusetts provides resources for families of hard of hearing children. http://www.massfamilyties.org/ There are several of us on this group who also volunteer for them. I'm assuming you are already involved with them for Early Intervention Services for your daughter. I'm on the South Shore, so if you'd like to meet or talk on the phone, feel free to contact me off-list at dawkdd@.... Kerry parents of babies who have/had hearing aids.... When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... Alison mom to Lucy - 6 months, mild hearing loss All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Hi Alison, Yes, it does get easier. In fact, I still think that the first months of dealing with the hearing loss diagnosis are the hardest part. Soon, it will be normal to see your daughter in aids and living with them will just be part of your routine. You may want to check out Dave Luterman's book, " When Your Child is Deaf " for thoughts on how to respond to your own emotions with this diagnosis. Although the communication method discussed in the book is not something we believe in for our family, I still find the early chapters on the emotional implications for the rest of the family to be valuable. In terms of support groups, there's Parent Connection, a group of families from Massachusetts. You can contact for more info ( or wills0903@...) or Joanne Travers (greatervoice@...). The next event should be in December. Also, Family TIES in Massachusetts provides resources for families of hard of hearing children. http://www.massfamilyties.org/ There are several of us on this group who also volunteer for them. I'm assuming you are already involved with them for Early Intervention Services for your daughter. I'm on the South Shore, so if you'd like to meet or talk on the phone, feel free to contact me off-list at dawkdd@.... Kerry parents of babies who have/had hearing aids.... When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... Alison mom to Lucy - 6 months, mild hearing loss All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Ann Marie wrote: My biggest fear currently is how we are going to keep them on him? He also goes to a sitter 3 days a week and I worry that she is not going to be able to handle this. Hi Ann Marie, One of the great things about aiding your child at such a young age is that the world is dramatically changing for him every single day in all kinds of ways, not just his hearing. Encourage those who are close to him and/or responsible for his care to really spend some time with his aids. It takes some time to get used to putting in the aids, especially with a squirming baby or toddler! I wish I had been more encouraging for some family members to step up to the challenge of inserting Hadley's aids. Within a week or so, my husband and I were pros at it, and I think our confidence made some other people feel more reluctant to try it themselves. By the time Hadley was 15 months or so, she really didn't want people fumbling around her ears, so we lost that window of opportunity. I'm now very matter-of-fact when I show people what to do (and I leave them with a TON of information, as I've learned that people feel more confident when they have a manual and pictures that they can study when I'm not around). Here are some hints to help with the aids: use good lubrication (OtoFerm is something most of us use; your audi can tell you what other things, like KY gel, will be appropriate for his aids); try out different clips and straps to see what works best for him (we like the ones from the Ear Connection, www.getsafensound.com, but other people like Critter Clips); ask if he can have a pediatric ear hook (the piece of plastic that runs from the hearing aid to the ear mold) which, depending on the kind of aids he gets, may help keep the aid closer to his head; try keeping a light hat on him, like a pilot cap from Hanna Andersson; and be patient. You will all adjust faster than you would imagine. The wait is much more agonizing than the reality. Kerry Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 , It seems as though it may be harder for you than her. Our little Ian, 1, has had them for a month now. He really doesnt care about them and leaves them in unless he is bored. I take him in public all the time and I have to say, seems no one has noticed. He has mild/mod loss, and yes, it is hard to see the difference. He CAN hear us, just NOT like he should. He has blue molds and blue aids. When he was first diagnosed, a friend of mine told me, they are basically just like glasses. He needs a little help to hear, I need a little help to see. At least we are in a time where they can get help. Ians hearing aids are really really light. I think this will all get easier in a couple of weeks when you are more used to them and see her in a hearing test responding better to sound. Keep your chin up. =) She is just as cute with them as without. Tawnya Ian 1 year, mild/mod , 3 1/2 hearing parents of babies who have/had hearing aids.... > >When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of >children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to >their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am >not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of >how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the >hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I >can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see >her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? >She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her >ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I >think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss >was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I >would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I >haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am >embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I >don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I >being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used >to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks >my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just >never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... > >Alison >mom to Lucy - 6 months, mild hearing loss > > > > > > >All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 , It seems as though it may be harder for you than her. Our little Ian, 1, has had them for a month now. He really doesnt care about them and leaves them in unless he is bored. I take him in public all the time and I have to say, seems no one has noticed. He has mild/mod loss, and yes, it is hard to see the difference. He CAN hear us, just NOT like he should. He has blue molds and blue aids. When he was first diagnosed, a friend of mine told me, they are basically just like glasses. He needs a little help to hear, I need a little help to see. At least we are in a time where they can get help. Ians hearing aids are really really light. I think this will all get easier in a couple of weeks when you are more used to them and see her in a hearing test responding better to sound. Keep your chin up. =) She is just as cute with them as without. Tawnya Ian 1 year, mild/mod , 3 1/2 hearing parents of babies who have/had hearing aids.... > >When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of >children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to >their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am >not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of >how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the >hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I >can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see >her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? >She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her >ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I >think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss >was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I >would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I >haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am >embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I >don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I >being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used >to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks >my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just >never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... > >Alison >mom to Lucy - 6 months, mild hearing loss > > > > > > >All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 , It seems as though it may be harder for you than her. Our little Ian, 1, has had them for a month now. He really doesnt care about them and leaves them in unless he is bored. I take him in public all the time and I have to say, seems no one has noticed. He has mild/mod loss, and yes, it is hard to see the difference. He CAN hear us, just NOT like he should. He has blue molds and blue aids. When he was first diagnosed, a friend of mine told me, they are basically just like glasses. He needs a little help to hear, I need a little help to see. At least we are in a time where they can get help. Ians hearing aids are really really light. I think this will all get easier in a couple of weeks when you are more used to them and see her in a hearing test responding better to sound. Keep your chin up. =) She is just as cute with them as without. Tawnya Ian 1 year, mild/mod , 3 1/2 hearing parents of babies who have/had hearing aids.... > >When does this get easier??? I'm not saying that parents of >children, as opposed to babies, have it easier when it comes to >their kids wearing aids but I do think there is a difference. I am >not trying to exclude but I wanted to get other parents opinions of >how they handled seeing their baby in aids. We've only had the >hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I >can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see >her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? >She's just a little baby and has these big, ugly things in her >ears. I know I sound super negative and I'm sorry about that. I >think also what is hard is that I see no difference - if her loss >was worse I think I would like when she had the aids in cause I >would see a difference but right now I don't. Even more pathetic, I >haven't taken her out of the house with them in yet - not that I am >embarrased, cause she's the most beautiful baby in the world, but I >don't want people to stare and if they do I might lose it. Am I >being completely irrational? I think I just need time to get used >to them.... please tell me others have felt this. It just breaks >my heart to see a little baby in these aids...maybe cause you just >never see babies with them. Thanks for any advice or comments... > >Alison >mom to Lucy - 6 months, mild hearing loss > > > > > > >All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright restrictions. > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Alison, I've been reading the posts responding to you, and I am very glad you found this list. The early days (weeks, months) are so overwhelming, and it IS hard to see those huge, honkin' hearing aids on those tiny ears. And I bet even more so when your baby has a mild loss, so responds to a lot of sounds without them. My son was identified at birth; his loss is severe, so there was never a question of his wearing the aids. People did stare at him, they were always so nice, and mostly curious as to how we knew so soon that he needed them. Now they are just a part of him; I stopped seeing them years ago. You will get there too. Give yourself time. We are here whenever you need -- Stefanie mom to Ben, 6, severe to profound HOH, and Isabella, 9, mild loss, unaided on 10/21/04 8:07 AM, aldelgaudio at aldelgaudio@... wrote: Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Alison, I've been reading the posts responding to you, and I am very glad you found this list. The early days (weeks, months) are so overwhelming, and it IS hard to see those huge, honkin' hearing aids on those tiny ears. And I bet even more so when your baby has a mild loss, so responds to a lot of sounds without them. My son was identified at birth; his loss is severe, so there was never a question of his wearing the aids. People did stare at him, they were always so nice, and mostly curious as to how we knew so soon that he needed them. Now they are just a part of him; I stopped seeing them years ago. You will get there too. Give yourself time. We are here whenever you need -- Stefanie mom to Ben, 6, severe to profound HOH, and Isabella, 9, mild loss, unaided on 10/21/04 8:07 AM, aldelgaudio at aldelgaudio@... wrote: Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 Alison; You have received a number of great replies. Two things that I thought about, that I did not see mentioned. First, my daughter was much older when she got her aids initially (18 months), but I found that head bands (as long as the hole the sound came in wasn't covered) helped alot with keeping her aids in her ear. It actually was not very long before she left them alone. She did tend to dismantle them in the car though & they ended up being taped up, every opening. She could even get the batteries out, given enough time. Even though her aids did not help her, I have always been thankful for the technology. Without them, she would have a very hard time of it. Also, your child has only had them for 3 days! This is an area I had a hard time grasping ( & I will go through it again when her CI is turned on next week). Hearing age, have you heard the term? It means the day your child starts hearing. It is different from chronological age. A child with normal hearing, hears even in the womb. You child already has to " make up " for 6 months of not hearing clearly. I don't know if this is a rule of thumb or not, but I was told to expect a 1 day for 1 day ( & as we progress a 2 day to 1 day) ratio of hearing sound, & catching up to her peers. So, my daughter, at 28 months, will take approx 28 months to catch up to her peers & that is if everything goes well. As everyone constantly told me, give it some time. Of course, in our case the aids did not help, so I didn't see progress, because there really wasn't any, which caused us to dig deeper & discover her loss was profound & not mild-moderate, as first thought. But still, she wore her aids for 2 months before they decided to look deeper. Hang in there..... Debby Mom to Lindsi Med El CI on 9/23 Turn On 10/26/04 Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 > We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I > can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see > her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? Hi Alison, I know you've already had lots of great replies, but I wanted to add my experience. My daughter has a moderate loss and was aided at 12 months. I think one of the hard things in dealing with our child's hearing loss is the fact that the hearing aids are a constant physical reminder of it. It's not like an illness that you give the child a medicine and then don't really have to think about again til the next dose - the hearing aids are always there to remind you what's different about your child and if the child constantly pulls them out, they cause you stress too, because you're always on " hearing aid alert " and having to put them back in. I also hated the way 's aids squealed when I hugged her to me or sat her on my lap for a swing at the park. They did some fine tuning which made the squealing reduce which was a relief. I remember a time when the audi posted me the new moulds and I was having trouble getting the tight plastic tubing to fit onto the hearing aid. After an hour of struggling with it and my fingers were hurting from trying to push it on, I burst into tears with the frustration of the whole situation. I had a big " why me " cry session, knowing that my friends who have healthy children have no idea what it's like and what I have to deal with. It's times like those, that having a group like Listen-Up really helped me through so I'm glad you've joined us. You won't feel so alone and there's so many supportive people here who can help answer your questions or be a shoulder to cry on when it's all getting too much. Having a mild or moderate loss also means you may not see a significant difference when your baby is wearing the aids. Other people may question the need for them because she will show signs of hearing without the aids. This makes it hard when you're trying to convince yourself you're doing the right thing and persevere with keeping the aids in. Trust me, one day when your daughter is old enough to tell you, you'll look back at these early days and be glad you persevered. It's only in the last few months that (almost 4 years old) says things that show me the aids really help her. She turns the TV up louder if her aids aren't in and asks me to repeat myself more often. She can also tell me which sounds she can and can't hear ie planes flying over, indicator switch on the car. As a baby, without her aids, she always seemed to hear me fine, but you don't realise how much they're missing until they are old enought to let you know. I'm so glad now that I kept her aids in as much as I could because it would have helped her keep on track with her speech. She took 4 months before she stopped pulling them out and then only took them out when she was tired or bored. I thought it would never end but it did and when she reached the stage where she would refuse to take them out at nap time I couldn't believe how far we had come! It's true what the others said - it does get easier. It is something that we all have to deal with on an ongoing basis, but your acceptance of it will increase and one day soon, it will not be your main focus when dealing with your daughter. I've got so used to seeing in her aids that when my son was born I was nursing him in the hospital, and look down at his naked ears and think " oh heck, where are his aids " just for a second before I realised he doesn't have any! I've even gone to put 's aids in his ears one morning when they were sitting together! is now doing incredibly well, with above average speech and knowledge. Her hearing loss is just a small part of who she is and I rarely have people looking at her aids or saying something. Usually it has been other children who have asked what the aids are, but just out of curiosity, not being mean. Some adults have asked is she deaf and is she getting an implant. It seems most people have heard about implants, but they are not so familiar with seeing babies with aids. I've always been matter of fact about them, and never acted as if they are a negative thing. In fact, I tell that we are so lucky that there is such a thing as hearing aids to help her hear better so she thinks of them as somthing positive. I still have my moments when I wish things were different for her, but they are rare these days. One way I used to cope in the early days was have a sign on the fridge that said " It's only hearing loss " to remind me that we are lucky it's not something life threatening or something that affects her intellect/behaviour as I believe that would be something harder to deal with. 's loss doesn't change who she is or her ability to do whatever she wants to in life. Hang in there - you will make it and you know everyone is here for you when you need a friend. Regards, Kerryn Melbourne, Australia (, 3.11, mod; 1, hearing) Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 > We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I > can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see > her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? Hi Alison, I know you've already had lots of great replies, but I wanted to add my experience. My daughter has a moderate loss and was aided at 12 months. I think one of the hard things in dealing with our child's hearing loss is the fact that the hearing aids are a constant physical reminder of it. It's not like an illness that you give the child a medicine and then don't really have to think about again til the next dose - the hearing aids are always there to remind you what's different about your child and if the child constantly pulls them out, they cause you stress too, because you're always on " hearing aid alert " and having to put them back in. I also hated the way 's aids squealed when I hugged her to me or sat her on my lap for a swing at the park. They did some fine tuning which made the squealing reduce which was a relief. I remember a time when the audi posted me the new moulds and I was having trouble getting the tight plastic tubing to fit onto the hearing aid. After an hour of struggling with it and my fingers were hurting from trying to push it on, I burst into tears with the frustration of the whole situation. I had a big " why me " cry session, knowing that my friends who have healthy children have no idea what it's like and what I have to deal with. It's times like those, that having a group like Listen-Up really helped me through so I'm glad you've joined us. You won't feel so alone and there's so many supportive people here who can help answer your questions or be a shoulder to cry on when it's all getting too much. Having a mild or moderate loss also means you may not see a significant difference when your baby is wearing the aids. Other people may question the need for them because she will show signs of hearing without the aids. This makes it hard when you're trying to convince yourself you're doing the right thing and persevere with keeping the aids in. Trust me, one day when your daughter is old enough to tell you, you'll look back at these early days and be glad you persevered. It's only in the last few months that (almost 4 years old) says things that show me the aids really help her. She turns the TV up louder if her aids aren't in and asks me to repeat myself more often. She can also tell me which sounds she can and can't hear ie planes flying over, indicator switch on the car. As a baby, without her aids, she always seemed to hear me fine, but you don't realise how much they're missing until they are old enought to let you know. I'm so glad now that I kept her aids in as much as I could because it would have helped her keep on track with her speech. She took 4 months before she stopped pulling them out and then only took them out when she was tired or bored. I thought it would never end but it did and when she reached the stage where she would refuse to take them out at nap time I couldn't believe how far we had come! It's true what the others said - it does get easier. It is something that we all have to deal with on an ongoing basis, but your acceptance of it will increase and one day soon, it will not be your main focus when dealing with your daughter. I've got so used to seeing in her aids that when my son was born I was nursing him in the hospital, and look down at his naked ears and think " oh heck, where are his aids " just for a second before I realised he doesn't have any! I've even gone to put 's aids in his ears one morning when they were sitting together! is now doing incredibly well, with above average speech and knowledge. Her hearing loss is just a small part of who she is and I rarely have people looking at her aids or saying something. Usually it has been other children who have asked what the aids are, but just out of curiosity, not being mean. Some adults have asked is she deaf and is she getting an implant. It seems most people have heard about implants, but they are not so familiar with seeing babies with aids. I've always been matter of fact about them, and never acted as if they are a negative thing. In fact, I tell that we are so lucky that there is such a thing as hearing aids to help her hear better so she thinks of them as somthing positive. I still have my moments when I wish things were different for her, but they are rare these days. One way I used to cope in the early days was have a sign on the fridge that said " It's only hearing loss " to remind me that we are lucky it's not something life threatening or something that affects her intellect/behaviour as I believe that would be something harder to deal with. 's loss doesn't change who she is or her ability to do whatever she wants to in life. Hang in there - you will make it and you know everyone is here for you when you need a friend. Regards, Kerryn Melbourne, Australia (, 3.11, mod; 1, hearing) Quote
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2004 Report Posted October 21, 2004 > We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I > can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see > her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? Hi Alison, I know you've already had lots of great replies, but I wanted to add my experience. My daughter has a moderate loss and was aided at 12 months. I think one of the hard things in dealing with our child's hearing loss is the fact that the hearing aids are a constant physical reminder of it. It's not like an illness that you give the child a medicine and then don't really have to think about again til the next dose - the hearing aids are always there to remind you what's different about your child and if the child constantly pulls them out, they cause you stress too, because you're always on " hearing aid alert " and having to put them back in. I also hated the way 's aids squealed when I hugged her to me or sat her on my lap for a swing at the park. They did some fine tuning which made the squealing reduce which was a relief. I remember a time when the audi posted me the new moulds and I was having trouble getting the tight plastic tubing to fit onto the hearing aid. After an hour of struggling with it and my fingers were hurting from trying to push it on, I burst into tears with the frustration of the whole situation. I had a big " why me " cry session, knowing that my friends who have healthy children have no idea what it's like and what I have to deal with. It's times like those, that having a group like Listen-Up really helped me through so I'm glad you've joined us. You won't feel so alone and there's so many supportive people here who can help answer your questions or be a shoulder to cry on when it's all getting too much. Having a mild or moderate loss also means you may not see a significant difference when your baby is wearing the aids. Other people may question the need for them because she will show signs of hearing without the aids. This makes it hard when you're trying to convince yourself you're doing the right thing and persevere with keeping the aids in. Trust me, one day when your daughter is old enough to tell you, you'll look back at these early days and be glad you persevered. It's only in the last few months that (almost 4 years old) says things that show me the aids really help her. She turns the TV up louder if her aids aren't in and asks me to repeat myself more often. She can also tell me which sounds she can and can't hear ie planes flying over, indicator switch on the car. As a baby, without her aids, she always seemed to hear me fine, but you don't realise how much they're missing until they are old enought to let you know. I'm so glad now that I kept her aids in as much as I could because it would have helped her keep on track with her speech. She took 4 months before she stopped pulling them out and then only took them out when she was tired or bored. I thought it would never end but it did and when she reached the stage where she would refuse to take them out at nap time I couldn't believe how far we had come! It's true what the others said - it does get easier. It is something that we all have to deal with on an ongoing basis, but your acceptance of it will increase and one day soon, it will not be your main focus when dealing with your daughter. I've got so used to seeing in her aids that when my son was born I was nursing him in the hospital, and look down at his naked ears and think " oh heck, where are his aids " just for a second before I realised he doesn't have any! I've even gone to put 's aids in his ears one morning when they were sitting together! is now doing incredibly well, with above average speech and knowledge. Her hearing loss is just a small part of who she is and I rarely have people looking at her aids or saying something. Usually it has been other children who have asked what the aids are, but just out of curiosity, not being mean. Some adults have asked is she deaf and is she getting an implant. It seems most people have heard about implants, but they are not so familiar with seeing babies with aids. I've always been matter of fact about them, and never acted as if they are a negative thing. In fact, I tell that we are so lucky that there is such a thing as hearing aids to help her hear better so she thinks of them as somthing positive. I still have my moments when I wish things were different for her, but they are rare these days. One way I used to cope in the early days was have a sign on the fridge that said " It's only hearing loss " to remind me that we are lucky it's not something life threatening or something that affects her intellect/behaviour as I believe that would be something harder to deal with. 's loss doesn't change who she is or her ability to do whatever she wants to in life. Hang in there - you will make it and you know everyone is here for you when you need a friend. Regards, Kerryn Melbourne, Australia (, 3.11, mod; 1, hearing) Quote
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2004 Report Posted October 22, 2004 > We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I > can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see > her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? The first few weeks of having a child wear hearing aids are always difficult ones. After all, they are not a part of our 'dream' for our child - unless you knew beforehand that there was a high probability your child would have a hearing loss. It's always difficult to lose that dream. You will actually go through all of the stages of mourning because it is a significant loss. But please remember that you're not alone. We're here for you. We'll give you information, offer you a shoulder to cry on, or empathize with what you're going through. At first I too didn't like my son's hearing aids....oh so many moons ago. It wasn't very long till he brought home is first pictures from school and he didn't have his hearing aids on. He said the photographer told him to take them out, so he did. We sat down and I made sure he understood that if he wore his hearing aids on the way to get the picture, it was only right that he should leave them in - as long as he felt they were a part of him, they should be included and that he should never be embarassed to show them. > I also hated the way 's aids squealed when I hugged her to me or sat her on my lap for a swing at the park.< I always felt that if the squealing didn't bother my son when he hugged me, I wouldn't let it bother me. If it bothers them, they will quickly learn how to position their head so it doesn't happen. With very young children, some of the audiologists I know acually use and FM system and turn the mic on the hearing aids off till the child is old enough to not be laying down for more than their daily nap. Hugs to all, Kay Quote
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2004 Report Posted October 22, 2004 > We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I > can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see > her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? The first few weeks of having a child wear hearing aids are always difficult ones. After all, they are not a part of our 'dream' for our child - unless you knew beforehand that there was a high probability your child would have a hearing loss. It's always difficult to lose that dream. You will actually go through all of the stages of mourning because it is a significant loss. But please remember that you're not alone. We're here for you. We'll give you information, offer you a shoulder to cry on, or empathize with what you're going through. At first I too didn't like my son's hearing aids....oh so many moons ago. It wasn't very long till he brought home is first pictures from school and he didn't have his hearing aids on. He said the photographer told him to take them out, so he did. We sat down and I made sure he understood that if he wore his hearing aids on the way to get the picture, it was only right that he should leave them in - as long as he felt they were a part of him, they should be included and that he should never be embarassed to show them. > I also hated the way 's aids squealed when I hugged her to me or sat her on my lap for a swing at the park.< I always felt that if the squealing didn't bother my son when he hugged me, I wouldn't let it bother me. If it bothers them, they will quickly learn how to position their head so it doesn't happen. With very young children, some of the audiologists I know acually use and FM system and turn the mic on the hearing aids off till the child is old enough to not be laying down for more than their daily nap. Hugs to all, Kay Quote
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2004 Report Posted October 22, 2004 > We've only had the hearing aids 3 days for our 6 month old daugther (mild loss) and I > can tell you that I don't like them at all. It makes me sad to see > her in them! Will it get easier? Will I get over this? When? The first few weeks of having a child wear hearing aids are always difficult ones. After all, they are not a part of our 'dream' for our child - unless you knew beforehand that there was a high probability your child would have a hearing loss. It's always difficult to lose that dream. You will actually go through all of the stages of mourning because it is a significant loss. But please remember that you're not alone. We're here for you. We'll give you information, offer you a shoulder to cry on, or empathize with what you're going through. At first I too didn't like my son's hearing aids....oh so many moons ago. It wasn't very long till he brought home is first pictures from school and he didn't have his hearing aids on. He said the photographer told him to take them out, so he did. We sat down and I made sure he understood that if he wore his hearing aids on the way to get the picture, it was only right that he should leave them in - as long as he felt they were a part of him, they should be included and that he should never be embarassed to show them. > I also hated the way 's aids squealed when I hugged her to me or sat her on my lap for a swing at the park.< I always felt that if the squealing didn't bother my son when he hugged me, I wouldn't let it bother me. If it bothers them, they will quickly learn how to position their head so it doesn't happen. With very young children, some of the audiologists I know acually use and FM system and turn the mic on the hearing aids off till the child is old enough to not be laying down for more than their daily nap. Hugs to all, Kay Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.