Re: Letting go..

August 13, 2004

I think in a case like this where he is old enough to understand but not

necessarily like it, you should explain to him that you trust him completely to

be comfortable, but there are so many situations where people aren't paying

attention like drunk drivers, like you said the 16 year old who just got his

license and is out for the first time, or how about that 16 year old who just

got his license who has been at a party drinking, or the tired adult driving

home from work or really anyone who is just not paying attention. You take that

risk every time you get in the car but add a kid on a bike without the

protection of a car that can't hear the car comming and it is so much more

scary. I think if you haven't already if you explain to him that in no way is

it him that you don't trust but the others and that he doesn't have any warning

with his lack of hearing and that scares you, because you don't want anything to

happen to him. My son is 6 and I have a hard time letting him play out in front

of our appartment with the windows open and standing within ear shot. I know he

won't go in the street, but I'm worried he will fall and break his head or

something, he has spina bifida, and all sorts of other problems. Anyway I just

thought I would say how important I think talking to them about why they have

the restrictions would be a good idea and help ease the frustrations a little.

Re: Letting go..

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed

to

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads)

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with

me

about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys

are

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear

them

yelling " car " when one is coming.

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with

the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is

overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so

many

levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with

our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10

mile

loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has

earned more freedom on the bike.

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the

kids.

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version:

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. "

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY

children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you.

You'll

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown

you he is capable.

Best -- Jill

August 13, 2004

How would your child feel though hiring someone to watch after him. What if he

sees it sort of as hiring a friend? I'm not saying don't do it, but approach

the idea causiously as to not insult your son.

Re: Letting go..

In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Diane.Giordano@... writes:

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

Diane,

What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know

that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community

service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be

paid,

but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a

babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie.

Great idea!

Jill

August 13, 2004

How would your child feel though hiring someone to watch after him. What if he

sees it sort of as hiring a friend? I'm not saying don't do it, but approach

the idea causiously as to not insult your son.

Re: Letting go..

In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Diane.Giordano@... writes:

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

Diane,

What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know

that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community

service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be

paid,

but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a

babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie.

Great idea!

Jill

August 13, 2004

Thanks for the email Dave. Makes me feel better to know others are

facing the same thing.I just feel that until he is more in tune to

his surroundings that I just cant let him ride alone. While my

husband is home I'm setting aside some time each evening to ride

with around our base, so hopefully that will help.

Thanks again Dave, your words are much appreciated.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> ,

>

> I feel like I am living the what you just wrote. My

> daughter's name is andrea. He wears a Cochlear

> Implant, but when she is on her bike, she is focused

> on the road in front and hears nothing from behind.

>

> When she was smaller, I was fairly good at jogging

> behind as she road. Now I have my bike our and ride

> with her. Sometimes I even ride the spiderman

> skateboard she got me for fathers day. Either way, I

> watch like a hawk if she is out riding to alert her of

> cars.

>

> Some people may think this is over protective. A

> parent would not do this for a hearing 10 year old

> child. They would trust them to play in the street by

> themselves. Why would I do any less? Well, as a

> teacher that works with fourth grade children, I can

> tell you the streets are dangerous places even for

> hearing children. In the past 12 years, I have seen

> too many children in my schools hurt while playing in

> streets. One year, I even had to stand with one of my

> little girls as her little brother was laid to rest.

> (Not meaning to be dramatic, but it was one of the

> saddest moments I have had as a teacher. And it could

> have been avoided.)

>

> I know this might not help much, but you are doing

> right by not letting a child ride unattended in the

> street. I would believe that for a hearing or a deaf

> child. Along with riding with , we have some nice

> park systems around here were we take her to ride.

> All the time we try to remind her to look around and

> not just focus on in front of her. Once she gets that

> down and is able to do it consistantly, then I will

> feel better about letting her fly a little farther

> away from the nest.

>

> Dave

>

August 13, 2004

Thanks for the email Dave. Makes me feel better to know others are

facing the same thing.I just feel that until he is more in tune to

his surroundings that I just cant let him ride alone. While my

husband is home I'm setting aside some time each evening to ride

with around our base, so hopefully that will help.

Thanks again Dave, your words are much appreciated.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> ,

>

> I feel like I am living the what you just wrote. My

> daughter's name is andrea. He wears a Cochlear

> Implant, but when she is on her bike, she is focused

> on the road in front and hears nothing from behind.

>

> When she was smaller, I was fairly good at jogging

> behind as she road. Now I have my bike our and ride

> with her. Sometimes I even ride the spiderman

> skateboard she got me for fathers day. Either way, I

> watch like a hawk if she is out riding to alert her of

> cars.

>

> Some people may think this is over protective. A

> parent would not do this for a hearing 10 year old

> child. They would trust them to play in the street by

> themselves. Why would I do any less? Well, as a

> teacher that works with fourth grade children, I can

> tell you the streets are dangerous places even for

> hearing children. In the past 12 years, I have seen

> too many children in my schools hurt while playing in

> streets. One year, I even had to stand with one of my

> little girls as her little brother was laid to rest.

> (Not meaning to be dramatic, but it was one of the

> saddest moments I have had as a teacher. And it could

> have been avoided.)

>

> I know this might not help much, but you are doing

> right by not letting a child ride unattended in the

> street. I would believe that for a hearing or a deaf

> child. Along with riding with , we have some nice

> park systems around here were we take her to ride.

> All the time we try to remind her to look around and

> not just focus on in front of her. Once she gets that

> down and is able to do it consistantly, then I will

> feel better about letting her fly a little farther

> away from the nest.

>

> Dave

>

August 13, 2004

Thanks for the email Dave. Makes me feel better to know others are

facing the same thing.I just feel that until he is more in tune to

his surroundings that I just cant let him ride alone. While my

husband is home I'm setting aside some time each evening to ride

with around our base, so hopefully that will help.

Thanks again Dave, your words are much appreciated.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> ,

>

> I feel like I am living the what you just wrote. My

> daughter's name is andrea. He wears a Cochlear

> Implant, but when she is on her bike, she is focused

> on the road in front and hears nothing from behind.

>

> When she was smaller, I was fairly good at jogging

> behind as she road. Now I have my bike our and ride

> with her. Sometimes I even ride the spiderman

> skateboard she got me for fathers day. Either way, I

> watch like a hawk if she is out riding to alert her of

> cars.

>

> Some people may think this is over protective. A

> parent would not do this for a hearing 10 year old

> child. They would trust them to play in the street by

> themselves. Why would I do any less? Well, as a

> teacher that works with fourth grade children, I can

> tell you the streets are dangerous places even for

> hearing children. In the past 12 years, I have seen

> too many children in my schools hurt while playing in

> streets. One year, I even had to stand with one of my

> little girls as her little brother was laid to rest.

> (Not meaning to be dramatic, but it was one of the

> saddest moments I have had as a teacher. And it could

> have been avoided.)

>

> I know this might not help much, but you are doing

> right by not letting a child ride unattended in the

> street. I would believe that for a hearing or a deaf

> child. Along with riding with , we have some nice

> park systems around here were we take her to ride.

> All the time we try to remind her to look around and

> not just focus on in front of her. Once she gets that

> down and is able to do it consistantly, then I will

> feel better about letting her fly a little farther

> away from the nest.

>

> Dave

>

August 13, 2004

We havent had much luck with kids in this area, even out in town,and

I just dont think I'd be comfortable with some kid I dont know well

riding with . We're going to try and work around my

husbands military schedule so I can ride with every

evening.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

-- In Listen-Up , " Giordano, Diane "

<Diane.Giordano@g...> wrote:

> How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week.

Ask

> at the high school or post at the library.

>

> _____

>

> From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...]

> Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

> To: Listen-Up

> Subject: Letting go..

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can

be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant

I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each

> post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to

> copyright restrictions.

>

August 13, 2004

I've been asking the military to install one for a few months now

and keep getting a run around. I was just in there the other day

asking about it. Our military housing area is also becoming

privatized so thats causing issues also(((sigh))))

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the

problem but might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't

know if the military has it's own rules about this, or not. Just a

suggestion.

>

> H.

> Letting go..

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-

sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle

can be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why

cant I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him

ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking

care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to copyright restrictions.

>

August 13, 2004

I've been asking the military to install one for a few months now

and keep getting a run around. I was just in there the other day

asking about it. Our military housing area is also becoming

privatized so thats causing issues also(((sigh))))

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the

problem but might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't

know if the military has it's own rules about this, or not. Just a

suggestion.

>

> H.

> Letting go..

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-

sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle

can be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why

cant I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him

ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking

care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to copyright restrictions.

>

August 13, 2004

I've been asking the military to install one for a few months now

and keep getting a run around. I was just in there the other day

asking about it. Our military housing area is also becoming

privatized so thats causing issues also(((sigh))))

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the

problem but might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't

know if the military has it's own rules about this, or not. Just a

suggestion.

>

> H.

> Letting go..

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-

sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle

can be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why

cant I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him

ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking

care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to copyright restrictions.

>

August 13, 2004

Thanks for the email Jill..you made a great statement that really

encompasses how I feel....its not that I dont really

trust, but all these other drivers that come flying around our curb,

or go racing down our cul-de-sac. While does get into his

own world and doesnt pay attn like he should, the big factor is the

careless driving that is often exhibited on this street.So unless I

am able to go with him, I'll sitck to my guns and he will not be

riding around the neighborhood by himself.

Thanks for the email, much appreciated.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted

to ride on

> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them

is allowed to

> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county

roads)

> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is

happy with me

> about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

>

> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and

everywhere

> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of

those boys are

> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both

have

> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the

cars, or hear them

> yelling " car " when one is coming.

>

> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo

situation is

> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year

old with

> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift

and is

> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him

go on so many

> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My

husband rides with

> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They

established a 10 mile

> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband)

rides behind

> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well,

he has

> earned more freedom on the bike.

>

> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but

that time

> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than

on the kids.

>

> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote

Reagan: just

> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the

meanest person in

> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to

be a kid.

> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me,

you simply

> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous

version:

> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I

brought you

> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a

great job. "

>

> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like

them. It

> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they

wouldn't be MY

> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut

tells you. You'll

> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and

he's shown

> you he is capable.

>

> Best -- Jill

>

August 13, 2004

Thanks for the email Jill..you made a great statement that really

encompasses how I feel....its not that I dont really

trust, but all these other drivers that come flying around our curb,

or go racing down our cul-de-sac. While does get into his

own world and doesnt pay attn like he should, the big factor is the

careless driving that is often exhibited on this street.So unless I

am able to go with him, I'll sitck to my guns and he will not be

riding around the neighborhood by himself.

Thanks for the email, much appreciated.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted

to ride on

> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them

is allowed to

> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county

roads)

> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is

happy with me

> about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

>

> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and

everywhere

> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of

those boys are

> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both

have

> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the

cars, or hear them

> yelling " car " when one is coming.

>

> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo

situation is

> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year

old with

> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift

and is

> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him

go on so many

> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My

husband rides with

> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They

established a 10 mile

> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband)

rides behind

> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well,

he has

> earned more freedom on the bike.

>

> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but

that time

> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than

on the kids.

>

> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote

Reagan: just

> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the

meanest person in

> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to

be a kid.

> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me,

you simply

> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous

version:

> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I

brought you

> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a

great job. "

>

> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like

them. It

> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they

wouldn't be MY

> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut

tells you. You'll

> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and

he's shown

> you he is capable.

>

> Best -- Jill

>

August 13, 2004

Thanks for the email Jill..you made a great statement that really

encompasses how I feel....its not that I dont really

trust, but all these other drivers that come flying around our curb,

or go racing down our cul-de-sac. While does get into his

own world and doesnt pay attn like he should, the big factor is the

careless driving that is often exhibited on this street.So unless I

am able to go with him, I'll sitck to my guns and he will not be

riding around the neighborhood by himself.

Thanks for the email, much appreciated.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted

to ride on

> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them

is allowed to

> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county

roads)

> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is

happy with me

> about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

>

> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and

everywhere

> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of

those boys are

> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both

have

> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the

cars, or hear them

> yelling " car " when one is coming.

>

> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo

situation is

> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year

old with

> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift

and is

> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him

go on so many

> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My

husband rides with

> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They

established a 10 mile

> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband)

rides behind

> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well,

he has

> earned more freedom on the bike.

>

> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but

that time

> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than

on the kids.

>

> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote

Reagan: just

> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the

meanest person in

> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to

be a kid.

> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me,

you simply

> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous

version:

> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I

brought you

> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a

great job. "

>

> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like

them. It

> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they

wouldn't be MY

> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut

tells you. You'll

> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and

he's shown

> you he is capable.

>

> Best -- Jill

>

August 13, 2004

is certainly independent and he does everything else a

hearing child does...except for ride his bike in the neighborhood

alone. I refuse to send him out there when he cannot hear the cars

and does not pay enough attn to his surroundings.It does make him

unhappy but hes just going to have to work with me on this. I refuse

to jeopardize his safety just because " everyone else is doing it " .

This is the only time where I have let his hearing impairment factor

into a situation so strongly, but at this point there is no choice.

Its the best decision right now for his safety.As he matures and

shows me he can safely navigate the area, then I'll be more open,

but he just isnt there at this point.

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss,

SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

> Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has

always been

> careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear

them. It would

> have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing

friends do. I

> have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks

away since she

> was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have

someone go with

> her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and

would make my

> daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident

which would have

> repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion

which seems to

> be different than some of the others....

>

> Amy

> <tt>

> My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted

to ride on

> our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them

is allowed to

>

> leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county

roads)

> where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is

happy with me

>

> about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

>

> We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and

everywhere

> around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of

those boys are

>

> hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both

have

> proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the

cars, or hear

> them

> yelling " car " when one is coming.

>

> It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo

situation is

>

> doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year

old with

> the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift

and is

> overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him

go on so many

>

> levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My

husband rides

> with

> our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They

established a 10

> mile

> loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband)

rides behind

>

> them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well,

he has

> earned more freedom on the bike.

>

> We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but

that time

> is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than

on the

> kids.

>

> You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote

Reagan: just

>

> say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the

meanest person in

>

> the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to

be a kid.

> And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me,

you simply

>

> have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous

version:

>

> " That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I

brought you

>

> home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a

great job. "

>

> We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like

them. It

> would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they

wouldn't be MY

>

> children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut

tells you.

> You'll

> loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and

he's shown

>

> you he is capable.

>

> Best -- Jill

>

>

August 13, 2004