Re: Letting go..

[Guest guest]

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

_____

From: alcojo94

Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

To: Listen-Up

Subject: Letting go..

I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain

from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul-

de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be

pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let

ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He

cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then

he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things

until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting

him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I

be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know

I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

heart to see him so upset with me

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each

post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

[Guest guest]

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

_____

From: alcojo94

Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

To: Listen-Up

Subject: Letting go..

I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain

from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul-

de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be

pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let

ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He

cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then

he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things

until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting

him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I

be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know

I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

heart to see him so upset with me

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each

post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

[Guest guest]

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

_____

From: alcojo94

Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

To: Listen-Up

Subject: Letting go..

I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain

from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul-

de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be

pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let

ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He

cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then

he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things

until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting

him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I

be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know

I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

heart to see him so upset with me

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each

post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

copyright restrictions.

[Guest guest]

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads)

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me

about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear

them

yelling " car " when one is coming.

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with

the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is

overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many

levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with

our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile

loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has

earned more freedom on the bike.

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids.

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version:

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. "

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY

children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you.

You'll

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown

you he is capable.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads)

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me

about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear

them

yelling " car " when one is coming.

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with

the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is

overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many

levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with

our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile

loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has

earned more freedom on the bike.

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids.

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version:

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. "

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY

children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you.

You'll

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown

you he is capable.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed to

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads)

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with me

about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys are

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear

them

yelling " car " when one is coming.

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with

the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is

overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many

levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with

our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10 mile

loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has

earned more freedom on the bike.

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the kids.

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version:

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. "

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY

children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you.

You'll

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown

you he is capable.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Diane.Giordano@... writes:

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

Diane,

What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know

that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community

service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be paid,

but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a

babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie.

Great idea!

Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Diane.Giordano@... writes:

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

Diane,

What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know

that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community

service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be paid,

but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a

babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie.

Great idea!

Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2004 7:17:52 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Diane.Giordano@... writes:

How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week. Ask

at the high school or post at the library.

Diane,

What a wonderful idea ... like a hearing big brother kind of thing. I know

that for some classes in our high school the kids have to do some community

service and that would fall right into that catagory. The kid would not be paid,

but would get credit in class. Even paying for it would work, kind of a

babystting thing where no one is going out for a movie.

Great idea!

Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2004 11:03:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

debbaugher@... writes:

Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride

with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some

service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for

your son.

Debby

Our son is a scout, (he just became a Life Scout this past spring). One of

his troop's requirements is that he must perform a certain number of community

service hours each year. I don't know if most troops are like that but ours

focuses on community service quite a bit.

If is a scout this could be even easier. I know that part of the

philosophy has older boys working with the younger boys. There is even a troop

position called the " guide " whose job it is to work with the younger scouts

and to help them with anything and everything from setting up their tents to

learning to serve coffee at out troop's regular community service project.

Might be worth a phone call. If you were closer, I'm sure our Ian would be

interested in mentoring a younger boy.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2004 11:03:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

debbaugher@... writes:

Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride

with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some

service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for

your son.

Debby

Our son is a scout, (he just became a Life Scout this past spring). One of

his troop's requirements is that he must perform a certain number of community

service hours each year. I don't know if most troops are like that but ours

focuses on community service quite a bit.

If is a scout this could be even easier. I know that part of the

philosophy has older boys working with the younger boys. There is even a troop

position called the " guide " whose job it is to work with the younger scouts

and to help them with anything and everything from setting up their tents to

learning to serve coffee at out troop's regular community service project.

Might be worth a phone call. If you were closer, I'm sure our Ian would be

interested in mentoring a younger boy.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2004 11:03:49 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

debbaugher@... writes:

Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride

with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some

service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for

your son.

Debby

Our son is a scout, (he just became a Life Scout this past spring). One of

his troop's requirements is that he must perform a certain number of community

service hours each year. I don't know if most troops are like that but ours

focuses on community service quite a bit.

If is a scout this could be even easier. I know that part of the

philosophy has older boys working with the younger boys. There is even a troop

position called the " guide " whose job it is to work with the younger scouts

and to help them with anything and everything from setting up their tents to

learning to serve coffee at out troop's regular community service project.

Might be worth a phone call. If you were closer, I'm sure our Ian would be

interested in mentoring a younger boy.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Amy,

In my note perhaps I should have explained that we don't have blocks, and we

don't have any sidewalks except right in town or in certain neigborhoods. It

is very rural in many ways. Our neighbors are NY State (several hundred acres

of protected land) and 18 acres of horse paddocks. Once you get off our

road, in either direction, you're on a two-lane highway.

I think we all find a balance that takes into consideration our kids and the

environment they are interacting with. Each solution is custom made.

My kids have asked me why we didn't buy a house in a neighborhood. There are

planned neighborhoods around here. Places with blocks and sidewalks and lots

more kids. My answer is that when we bought the house, we didn't plan on

having kids and we chose a beautiful and quiet corner of the world. They were

the

surprises, but the house was planned. (grin)

Jill

[Guest guest]

Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride

with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some

service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for

your son.

Debby

> How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week.

Ask

> at the high school or post at the library.

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...]

> Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

> To: Listen-Up

> Subject: Letting go..

>

>

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can

be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant

I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each

> post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to

> copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride

with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some

service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for

your son.

Debby

> How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week.

Ask

> at the high school or post at the library.

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...]

> Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

> To: Listen-Up

> Subject: Letting go..

>

>

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can

be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant

I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each

> post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to

> copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Along that lines, maybe a local boy scout would be willing to ride

with your son. They always seem to be looking for ways to do some

service to the community & he could perhaps become a buddy too for

your son.

Debby

> How about hiring a local teen after school for a few hours a week.

Ask

> at the high school or post at the library.

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: alcojo94 [mailto:alcojo94@y...]

> Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 10:39 PM

> To: Listen-Up

> Subject: Letting go..

>

>

>

> I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

> loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good

gain

> from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a

cul-

> de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

> off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can

be

> pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I

let

> ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

> asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

> have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself.

He

> cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even

then

> he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of

things

> until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not

letting

> him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant

I

> be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I

know

> I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

> alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

> husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

> of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

>

> Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

> heart to see him so upset with me

>

> J

> Bangor WA

> mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

> , 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

> ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each

> post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to

> copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the problem but

might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't know if the military has

it's own rules about this, or not. Just a suggestion.

H.

Letting go..

I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain

from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul-

de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be

pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let

ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He

cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then

he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things

until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting

him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I

be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know

I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

heart to see him so upset with me

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

restrictions.

[Guest guest]

Do you have a " deaf child " sign nearby? This wouldn't solve the problem but

might make some drivers aware, just in case. I don't know if the military has

it's own rules about this, or not. Just a suggestion.

H.

Letting go..

I have a 10 yr old with a severe/profound bilateral sensioneural

loss.He does utilize bicross digital aids and gets a very good gain

from them. My problem is this: we live in military housing on a cul-

de-sac that comes off a circle.There are several other cul-de-sacs

off the circle and during certain times of the day the circle can be

pretty busy. My 10 yr old has an 8 yr old hearing sister that I let

ride around the circle with her friends. My 10 yr old has been

asking if he can ride his bike around the circle also. He doesnt

have any friends in the neighborhood and so would be by himself. He

cant hear the cars until they are right on top of him, and even then

he gets in " his own little world " and doesnt notice a lot of things

until its almost too late. He is very upset with me for not letting

him ride his bike around the beighborhood and said to me " why cant I

be free like " . That just completely broke my heart. I know

I cant protect him forever, but am scared to death to let him ride

alone, especially the way some of these people drive. Also, my

husband is gone a lot so I am usually making dinner or taking care

of my 5 yr old and cant always go ride with .

Anyone else go through this or have some advice? Its breaking my

heart to see him so upset with me

J

Bangor WA

mom to , 10, severe/profound loss, SEE/oral, SID,asthma

, 8, speech therapy for hypernasality

ph,5,speech therapy for articulation errors

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

restrictions.

[Guest guest]

We recently faced this dilemma ourselves. Tommy is 12 - he's going into middle

school this year (6th grade). He was enrolled in two camps this summer that

were fairly close to each other so he could easily ride his bike from one to

the other. We " rehearsed " - I would ride my bike to camp #1, get him and his

bike, then we'd ride to camp #2. It worked well, actually because a friend

also was in the two camps so they would ride together. I talked with the

friend about staying beside or behind Tom to be his ears for him.

We've also gotten a rearview mirror for Tom's bike so that helps - plus when

Tom and I rehearsed, we mapped out a route through neighborhoods without a lot

of traffic. He will ask from time to time to be allowed to ride downtown by

himself (NO!) because there's too much traffic.

Barbara

*******************************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

[Guest guest]

We recently faced this dilemma ourselves. Tommy is 12 - he's going into middle

school this year (6th grade). He was enrolled in two camps this summer that

were fairly close to each other so he could easily ride his bike from one to

the other. We " rehearsed " - I would ride my bike to camp #1, get him and his

bike, then we'd ride to camp #2. It worked well, actually because a friend

also was in the two camps so they would ride together. I talked with the

friend about staying beside or behind Tom to be his ears for him.

We've also gotten a rearview mirror for Tom's bike so that helps - plus when

Tom and I rehearsed, we mapped out a route through neighborhoods without a lot

of traffic. He will ask from time to time to be allowed to ride downtown by

himself (NO!) because there's too much traffic.

Barbara

*******************************

Barbara Mellert

Manager, Social Science Computing

Kiewit Computing Services

Dartmouth College

13A Silsby Hall; HB 6121

Hanover NH 03755

Telephone: 603/646-2877

URL: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ssc

[Guest guest]

Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has always been

careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear them. It would

have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing friends do. I

have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks away since she

was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have someone go with

her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and would make my

daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident which would have

repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion which seems to

be different than some of the others....

Amy

<tt>

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted  to ride on <BR>

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is  allowed to

<BR>

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county  roads) <BR>

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is  happy with me

<BR>

about this, but they truly understand the limitations. <BR>

<BR>

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and  everywhere <BR>

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those  boys are

<BR>

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have  <BR>

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear 

them <BR>

yelling " car " when one is coming. <BR>

<BR>

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is 

<BR>

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with <BR>

the  learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is <BR>

overtired.  Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many

<BR>

levels. But  he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with <BR>

our kids  almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10

mile <BR>

loop  which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

<BR>

them and  as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has <BR>

earned more  freedom on the bike.<BR>

<BR>

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time  <BR>

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the 

kids.<BR>

<BR>

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just 

<BR>

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in 

<BR>

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. <BR>

And  I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

<BR>

have to  listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: 

<BR>

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you 

<BR>

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a  great job. "

<BR>

<BR>

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It  <BR>

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY 

<BR>

children. (grin)  So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. 

You'll <BR>

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's  shown

<BR>

you he is capable. <BR>

<BR>

Best -- Jill <BR>

<BR>

<BR>

[Guest guest]

Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has always been

careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear them. It would

have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing friends do. I

have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks away since she

was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have someone go with

her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and would make my

daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident which would have

repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion which seems to

be different than some of the others....

Amy

<tt>

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted  to ride on <BR>

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is  allowed to

<BR>

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county  roads) <BR>

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is  happy with me

<BR>

about this, but they truly understand the limitations. <BR>

<BR>

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and  everywhere <BR>

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those  boys are

<BR>

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have  <BR>

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear 

them <BR>

yelling " car " when one is coming. <BR>

<BR>

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is 

<BR>

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with <BR>

the  learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is <BR>

overtired.  Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many

<BR>

levels. But  he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with <BR>

our kids  almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10

mile <BR>

loop  which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

<BR>

them and  as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has <BR>

earned more  freedom on the bike.<BR>

<BR>

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time  <BR>

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the 

kids.<BR>

<BR>

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just 

<BR>

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in 

<BR>

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. <BR>

And  I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

<BR>

have to  listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: 

<BR>

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you 

<BR>

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a  great job. "

<BR>

<BR>

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It  <BR>

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY 

<BR>

children. (grin)  So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. 

You'll <BR>

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's  shown

<BR>

you he is capable. <BR>

<BR>

Best -- Jill <BR>

<BR>

<BR>

[Guest guest]

Another take on this subject. My daughter - profoundly deaf - has always been

careful about cars especially since she knows she cannot hear them. It would

have devastated her to not be allowed to do what her hearing friends do. I

have allowed her to go to her friends house - around two blocks away since she

was around 10 years old. She would have hated to have to have someone go with

her. Maybe every child is different - this would have made and would make my

daughter now 14 an extremely unhappy person and less confident which would have

repercussions in school and socially. Anyway, just my opinion which seems to

be different than some of the others....

Amy

<tt>

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted  to ride on <BR>

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is  allowed to

<BR>

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county  roads) <BR>

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is  happy with me

<BR>

about this, but they truly understand the limitations. <BR>

<BR>

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and  everywhere <BR>

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those  boys are

<BR>

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have  <BR>

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear 

them <BR>

yelling " car " when one is coming. <BR>

<BR>

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is 

<BR>

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with <BR>

the  learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is <BR>

overtired.  Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so many

<BR>

levels. But  he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with <BR>

our kids  almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10

mile <BR>

loop  which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

<BR>

them and  as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has <BR>

earned more  freedom on the bike.<BR>

<BR>

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time  <BR>

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the 

kids.<BR>

<BR>

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just 

<BR>

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in 

<BR>

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid. <BR>

And  I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

<BR>

have to  listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version: 

<BR>

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you 

<BR>

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a  great job. "

<BR>

<BR>

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It  <BR>

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY 

<BR>

children. (grin)  So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you. 

You'll <BR>

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's  shown

<BR>

you he is capable. <BR>

<BR>

Best -- Jill <BR>

<BR>

<BR>

[Guest guest]

I think in a case like this where he is old enough to understand but not

necessarily like it, you should explain to him that you trust him completely to

be comfortable, but there are so many situations where people aren't paying

attention like drunk drivers, like you said the 16 year old who just got his

license and is out for the first time, or how about that 16 year old who just

got his license who has been at a party drinking, or the tired adult driving

home from work or really anyone who is just not paying attention. You take that

risk every time you get in the car but add a kid on a bike without the

protection of a car that can't hear the car comming and it is so much more

scary. I think if you haven't already if you explain to him that in no way is

it him that you don't trust but the others and that he doesn't have any warning

with his lack of hearing and that scares you, because you don't want anything to

happen to him. My son is 6 and I have a hard time letting him play out in front

of our appartment with the windows open and standing within ear shot. I know he

won't go in the street, but I'm worried he will fall and break his head or

something, he has spina bifida, and all sorts of other problems. Anyway I just

thought I would say how important I think talking to them about why they have

the restrictions would be a good idea and help ease the frustrations a little.

Re: Letting go..

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed

to

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads)

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with

me

about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys

are

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear

them

yelling " car " when one is coming.

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with

the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is

overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so

many

levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with

our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10

mile

loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has

earned more freedom on the bike.

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the

kids.

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version:

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. "

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY

children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you.

You'll

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown

you he is capable.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

I think in a case like this where he is old enough to understand but not

necessarily like it, you should explain to him that you trust him completely to

be comfortable, but there are so many situations where people aren't paying

attention like drunk drivers, like you said the 16 year old who just got his

license and is out for the first time, or how about that 16 year old who just

got his license who has been at a party drinking, or the tired adult driving

home from work or really anyone who is just not paying attention. You take that

risk every time you get in the car but add a kid on a bike without the

protection of a car that can't hear the car comming and it is so much more

scary. I think if you haven't already if you explain to him that in no way is

it him that you don't trust but the others and that he doesn't have any warning

with his lack of hearing and that scares you, because you don't want anything to

happen to him. My son is 6 and I have a hard time letting him play out in front

of our appartment with the windows open and standing within ear shot. I know he

won't go in the street, but I'm worried he will fall and break his head or

something, he has spina bifida, and all sorts of other problems. Anyway I just

thought I would say how important I think talking to them about why they have

the restrictions would be a good idea and help ease the frustrations a little.

Re: Letting go..

My son, Ian, is almost 14. Only this year has he been permitted to ride on

our road alone, or with his hearing sister (10). Neither of them is allowed

to

leave our road because at both ends are very busy streets (county roads)

where the traffic travels at 45mph or faster. Neither of them is happy with

me

about this, but they truly understand the limitations.

We have two neighbors who allow their sons to ride anywhere and everywhere

around town until 10 pm at night during the summer. But both of those boys

are

hearing and yet I can't let Ian ride with them either because both have

proven that they cannot grasp the idea that Ian can't hear the cars, or hear

them

yelling " car " when one is coming.

It's a very scary thing to let go of a child, and this kidn fo situation is

doubly scary because it is not Ian I don't trust. It's the 16 year old with

the learners permit or the adult who just pulled a double shift and is

overtired. Ian is getting to the age when I will have to let him go on so

many

levels. But he is earning that freedom one step at a time. My husband rides

with

our kids almost every morning, at the crack of dawn. They established a 10

mile

loop which includes one of those county roads. Larry (husband) rides behind

them and as Ian has shown he is capable and handles himself well, he has

earned more freedom on the bike.

We're not yet ready to let him ride into town for ice cream, but that time

is coming soon. I think when it does it will be harder on me than on the

kids.

You stick to your guns, explain the dangers and to quote Reagan: just

say no. I've had my kids tell me they hate me, that I'm the meanest person in

the world, and that I have obviously forgotten what it is like to be a kid.

And I calmly reply " that's my job " Or " You don't have to like me, you simply

have to listen to me and follow the house rules. " Or the humorous version:

" That's in the fine print of the mommy-contract I signed when I brought you

home -- to make you completely miserable. And I think I'm doing a great job. "

We're the adults, we make decisions and they don't have to like them. It

would be nice if they did so unquestionlingly, but then they wouldn't be MY

children. (grin) So, you set the rules based on what your gut tells you.

You'll

loosen those apron strings when you're sure he can handle it and he's shown

you he is capable.

Best -- Jill