sharing some frusterations

March 11, 2006

Hello everyone,

I thought I would share this on list as perhaps this will give some insight

for parents on what its like being a person with dual disabilities trying to

go to school.

This semester I am taking three courses, Humanities Frontiers of Thought,

Humanities World Religion and Creative Writing: Fiction. Two courses are

going just fine but world religion is a nightmare! I love the course and

find it extremely interesting. The instructor is awesome, she's so

passionate and I just love listening to her explain things. But here is the

problem: She does no written notes, she just writes everything on the board.

Well, I cannot see the board. So I do the best I can listening to new

terminology and names orally and taking notes on my laptop. But I am finding

that extremely difficult. I missing so much of the new terminology by

misspelling it. So I set up with the instructor for a classmate to take

notes. This is someone who the instructor recommended. Its kind of obvious

to me that she really doesn't want to give me her notes and ONLY gives me

the stuff from the board and not the full lecture notes. I am finding that

very difficult as its hard to compare my notes with all the mistakes to her

very limited notes. So, I have failed my first two exams in this course

which together were worth 40% of my grade. This is the first time I've ever

been in any danger of failing a course. I've always been a good student! Its

too late to withdraw from the course now with only four weeks left in the

semester. Plus with my sleep apnea I have been sooo tired. I have not yet

gotten on a CPAP machine and I cant even begin explain how tired I am all

the time. I come home and take naps. I can barely keep my eyes open in class

and I cannot get through the day without multiple cups of coffee. This is

the first semester where my motivation and concentration has really been

affected by this. Last semester one of my instructors actually got mad at me

for being so tired all the time. That was before I knew I had sleep apnea.

Plus I know my hearing is a big issue. I have been fighting the gov. for a

new hearing aid. Right now I use it on full blast and that really distorts

the sound. For example, my instructor was talking about " models " and there I

am sitting there trying to figure out why she's talking about " bottles " . I

am going to go in and talk to counseling about getting a medical deferral

but I am unsure my doctor will be willing to sign off on this. I feel so

stupid because I am failing what really is a relatively easy course! I have

been told that I do not have any mental disability, which from what I

understand is pretty common with CHARGE. But things like this make me

wonder. And what's even more frustrating, I actually like the course! I've

never failed a college course before and I hate the idea of having an F on

my transcripts. Anyhow, there's my vent for the night! Talk to you soon.

CHARGE Adult

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