Guest guest Posted May 31, 2004 Report Share Posted May 31, 2004 The guilt is something that I think is built into being a mother and the unrealistic expectation that we can make anything " all better " for our kids. We did not discover our son's loss until he was in 2nd grade. He'd passed the school tests, passed the pediatrican's testing, his (now obvious) HOH behavior went unnoticed by doctor and teacher friends alike. The key to his fooling us was that he had just naturally taught himself to lip read. As his hearing deteriorated, his skills improved. Only when his loss out-stripped his coping ability did we figure it out. Add in the fact that his hearing is better in the high ranges so he could hear that tell-tale squeak in the testing equipment when a tone was played ... we were outsmarted by a 7-year-old. (sigh). I've kicked myself for missing the signs, gone over every minute of my life during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could have caused it. And all those moments/hours/days of guilt gave me no answers. Over the years I dwell on it less often. But that guilt rears its ugly head every time his hearing takes a serious dive, or the combination of disabilities causes him to miss out on something his peers are doing. It's not often, but it happens. And I cry and as the song goes ... I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again. No, it doesn't go away, but as he's grown into a nice, well-rounded young man, the sting has becomes less and less. -- Jill __________________________________ In a message dated 5/30/2004 4:34:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time, babydewe2@... writes: I still struggle with some guilt from not realizing he had hearing loss sooner. I'm wondering if other parents have felt the same way at any point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2004 Report Share Posted May 31, 2004 Jill--re this aspect--just wondering how do you know this about the 6th week? LuAnn, Matt's mom (HOH, LD) >gone over every minute of my life >during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to >our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could >have caused it. Re: mother guilt The guilt is something that I think is built into being a mother and the unrealistic expectation that we can make anything " all better " for our kids. We did not discover our son's loss until he was in 2nd grade. He'd passed the school tests, passed the pediatrican's testing, his (now obvious) HOH behavior went unnoticed by doctor and teacher friends alike. The key to his fooling us was that he had just naturally taught himself to lip read. As his hearing deteriorated, his skills improved. Only when his loss out-stripped his coping ability did we figure it out. Add in the fact that his hearing is better in the high ranges so he could hear that tell-tale squeak in the testing equipment when a tone was played ... we were outsmarted by a 7-year-old. (sigh). I've kicked myself for missing the signs, gone over every minute of my life during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could have caused it. And all those moments/hours/days of guilt gave me no answers. Over the years I dwell on it less often. But that guilt rears its ugly head every time his hearing takes a serious dive, or the combination of disabilities causes him to miss out on something his peers are doing. It's not often, but it happens. And I cry and as the song goes ... I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again. No, it doesn't go away, but as he's grown into a nice, well-rounded young man, the sting has becomes less and less. -- Jill __________________________________ In a message dated 5/30/2004 4:34:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time, babydewe2@... writes: I still struggle with some guilt from not realizing he had hearing loss sooner. I'm wondering if other parents have felt the same way at any point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2004 Report Share Posted May 31, 2004 Jill--re this aspect--just wondering how do you know this about the 6th week? LuAnn, Matt's mom (HOH, LD) >gone over every minute of my life >during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to >our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could >have caused it. Re: mother guilt The guilt is something that I think is built into being a mother and the unrealistic expectation that we can make anything " all better " for our kids. We did not discover our son's loss until he was in 2nd grade. He'd passed the school tests, passed the pediatrican's testing, his (now obvious) HOH behavior went unnoticed by doctor and teacher friends alike. The key to his fooling us was that he had just naturally taught himself to lip read. As his hearing deteriorated, his skills improved. Only when his loss out-stripped his coping ability did we figure it out. Add in the fact that his hearing is better in the high ranges so he could hear that tell-tale squeak in the testing equipment when a tone was played ... we were outsmarted by a 7-year-old. (sigh). I've kicked myself for missing the signs, gone over every minute of my life during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could have caused it. And all those moments/hours/days of guilt gave me no answers. Over the years I dwell on it less often. But that guilt rears its ugly head every time his hearing takes a serious dive, or the combination of disabilities causes him to miss out on something his peers are doing. It's not often, but it happens. And I cry and as the song goes ... I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again. No, it doesn't go away, but as he's grown into a nice, well-rounded young man, the sting has becomes less and less. -- Jill __________________________________ In a message dated 5/30/2004 4:34:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time, babydewe2@... writes: I still struggle with some guilt from not realizing he had hearing loss sooner. I'm wondering if other parents have felt the same way at any point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2004 Report Share Posted May 31, 2004 Jill--re this aspect--just wondering how do you know this about the 6th week? LuAnn, Matt's mom (HOH, LD) >gone over every minute of my life >during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to >our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could >have caused it. Re: mother guilt The guilt is something that I think is built into being a mother and the unrealistic expectation that we can make anything " all better " for our kids. We did not discover our son's loss until he was in 2nd grade. He'd passed the school tests, passed the pediatrican's testing, his (now obvious) HOH behavior went unnoticed by doctor and teacher friends alike. The key to his fooling us was that he had just naturally taught himself to lip read. As his hearing deteriorated, his skills improved. Only when his loss out-stripped his coping ability did we figure it out. Add in the fact that his hearing is better in the high ranges so he could hear that tell-tale squeak in the testing equipment when a tone was played ... we were outsmarted by a 7-year-old. (sigh). I've kicked myself for missing the signs, gone over every minute of my life during the 6th week of gestation (during which the physical damage was done to our boy) to try and figure out just what I ate, drank or breathed which could have caused it. And all those moments/hours/days of guilt gave me no answers. Over the years I dwell on it less often. But that guilt rears its ugly head every time his hearing takes a serious dive, or the combination of disabilities causes him to miss out on something his peers are doing. It's not often, but it happens. And I cry and as the song goes ... I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again. No, it doesn't go away, but as he's grown into a nice, well-rounded young man, the sting has becomes less and less. -- Jill __________________________________ In a message dated 5/30/2004 4:34:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time, babydewe2@... writes: I still struggle with some guilt from not realizing he had hearing loss sooner. I'm wondering if other parents have felt the same way at any point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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