A Time of Letting Go (A Poem to Share) :)

[Guest guest]

I would be justified in feeling a victim of her vulgar words

I would be right to blame her for the neglect and the pain

I would be valid in demonstrating the hatred she shows for me

I would be right in calling her wrong

I could feel sorry for myself and hold out hope

for a mother I always wanted and never had

I could feel cheated and wronged by the Universe

for the woman who manipulates and hates unless you do her bidding

I may be who she raised me to be

But if I stay that way, the consequences are all on me

I cannot hold hatred and self-loathing in my heart

In her wicked ways, she at least taught me that's not a good idea.

She may not have ever known how to love

And I may have learned it by knowing what not to do with a child

But I did learn to love, to honor and hold my loved ones as they are

And not as I demand they should be to fill a void within me

She taught me that vengeance is not only wrong

But one of the ugly abominations of this world

She taught me that seeing through my distorted mind

Was one of the worst sins I could commit against God

For now that I know what I just cannot be

By what she intended to teach me

I realize I cannot be like that

I cannot disappoint my Maker and loved ones so

Although in my life I have suffered consequences for her actions

I have been wounded by her so very many inactions

And I'd be justified in holding on to anger and fear

And spending the rest of my life feeling emotionally unsafe...

I cannot and will not

Although I may be justified in holding on to all this pain

Its high time, I think

That I completely let go

I am no longer a silent wounded hero-rescuer in a child

I am a healthy, happy and well-adjusted adult

I no longer need to protect myself by people pleasing for love

I've learned the love inside of me is all I need

It's no longer a time to recount horror stories

Or belabor years of agony and pain

Or mishandled anger and denial

Its a time of letting go.