RE: charge behaviour stuff - how do i get out of this ugly mood

[Guest guest]

Hey Chantelle!

Dang, I guess this is popular for most CHARGErs to be all moody, huh? Cuz, I

do tend to get easily upset about anything too! Then, I'll be all grouchy,

pissed off, take it on someone else to make them feel bad, right? Even is

like that too, he's worst than I am, sigh!

Well, I don't know what to say.....play video games, read some books, or

whatever to put you back in a good mood, I guess. Anyway, I'll talk to you

later. Bye for now, adios amigo!

Chip

Chantelle McLaren wrote:

Right now im soooooo angry and have a lot of dark stuff in my head. I cant

get out of this mood. I need some suggestions. I dont have any reason to be

in a bad mood. I had breakfast but i was crabby before brekfast and its not

getting any better. My dark thoughts are kinda probably cause i have to deal

with family later today. (going to dinner). I know this is totaly

irrational. it dosnt make sence and no matter how much i tell those stupid

voices to shut up, it wont stop. Im trying to distract myself by playing

online games on a support group someplace elce but its not helping.

I cant meditate, my mind is going to fast. I cant concentrate cause of the

stupid thoughts.

I just hate how im feeling and its making me feel worse.

I have a lot of stuff to do and thats making me feel worse.

My happy thoughts bored is annoying me cause it seems to " idealistic "

I cant think of anything good cause the voices are mocking me.

I just want to scream.

I want to do a few other things i wont mention here but they do involve

injuring myself.

I feel so tence.

I feel so empty

I feel so worthless.

I know what everyone is going to say and i know how good the advice is but

im afraid its going to irritate me cause my head is all ready twisting

everyone's possible responces.

My doctor wont put me on anything till she gets the report from the psyc

eval. Im still waiting for my copy. I think i will call them tuesday.

Actualy she will put me on paxil but that stuff makes me more depressed.

I cant call T. or the odsp ppl till tuesday and thats irritating me.

Maby i should just make my random lists. Write all the stuff in apha order

and reorganize my art box. That makes me feel better.

Still, i know i have so much elce to do. I did tell my life skills person

about the back pain and fatige being what keeps me from cleaning.

Im glad the store is closed cause i felt like buying some caffinated drink

just to clean my room but i know that makes the angry stuff worse so im not

going to buy that stuff.

Sorry for this long ramble. I need to talk to someone. Feel free you yell

back. i feel so crapy right now that im almost numb if someone does get

short tempered with me.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Thanks Yuka and Chip.

Your right chip. I think this might be partialy a charge thing the

moodyness. I just threw my clothes in the laundry so at least i will get

something accomplished. My next goal is garbage. I just made a list on my

white board but only let myself put 3 things on it so i wouldnt get

overwhelmed.

1. laundry

2. Garbage

3. sort art supplies (reward)

then i will make a new 3 list thing if i still have time. I wont push myself

too far today.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Thanks Yuka and Chip.

Your right chip. I think this might be partialy a charge thing the

moodyness. I just threw my clothes in the laundry so at least i will get

something accomplished. My next goal is garbage. I just made a list on my

white board but only let myself put 3 things on it so i wouldnt get

overwhelmed.

1. laundry

2. Garbage

3. sort art supplies (reward)

then i will make a new 3 list thing if i still have time. I wont push myself

too far today.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

If seeing your family is what has sparked this, can you not go?? Until you

get to a place within yourself where seeing them isn't so torturous, then

you might want to consider eliminating those visits for a while.

I used to get so awful whenever we went to visit my mom. I'd be crabby for

a few days before and then really b----y for days after. Very hard on my

marriage and kids! Once I realized it, I still wasn't able to control it.

That made it almost worse cuz I knew what was making me crazy but I couldn't

stop it. Sort of the way PMS makes me frustrated cuz I know it's happening

but I can't stop it.

At one point, my mom and I had a falling out and I didn't see her for 3

years. What changed that was having my first child. Then we were both

motivated to find a way to reconcile our differences and appreciate the

good. Still, it's been a long time getting to the point where I can visit

her and not having that crabby time before and after.

I know friends who have had to break ties with parents or siblings that are

what Dr Phil calls " toxic relationships " .

I hope you find the strength to do whatever it is that calms you -- writing

your lists, rearranging the art box, whatever. Forget all the other things

you " should " be doing. None of those are good if you're going nuts inside.

First priority is getting yourself settled.

So think about it... is it possible to just call and say you're not coming

cuz you're just not up to it? You don't have to give a big excuse. Make

something up. Would you be relieved to be out of that commitment for today?

I may be way of base -- so just delete and never mind if it's not helpful!

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

If seeing your family is what has sparked this, can you not go?? Until you

get to a place within yourself where seeing them isn't so torturous, then

you might want to consider eliminating those visits for a while.

I used to get so awful whenever we went to visit my mom. I'd be crabby for

a few days before and then really b----y for days after. Very hard on my

marriage and kids! Once I realized it, I still wasn't able to control it.

That made it almost worse cuz I knew what was making me crazy but I couldn't

stop it. Sort of the way PMS makes me frustrated cuz I know it's happening

but I can't stop it.

At one point, my mom and I had a falling out and I didn't see her for 3

years. What changed that was having my first child. Then we were both

motivated to find a way to reconcile our differences and appreciate the

good. Still, it's been a long time getting to the point where I can visit

her and not having that crabby time before and after.

I know friends who have had to break ties with parents or siblings that are

what Dr Phil calls " toxic relationships " .

I hope you find the strength to do whatever it is that calms you -- writing

your lists, rearranging the art box, whatever. Forget all the other things

you " should " be doing. None of those are good if you're going nuts inside.

First priority is getting yourself settled.

So think about it... is it possible to just call and say you're not coming

cuz you're just not up to it? You don't have to give a big excuse. Make

something up. Would you be relieved to be out of that commitment for today?

I may be way of base -- so just delete and never mind if it's not helpful!

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

If seeing your family is what has sparked this, can you not go?? Until you

get to a place within yourself where seeing them isn't so torturous, then

you might want to consider eliminating those visits for a while.

I used to get so awful whenever we went to visit my mom. I'd be crabby for

a few days before and then really b----y for days after. Very hard on my

marriage and kids! Once I realized it, I still wasn't able to control it.

That made it almost worse cuz I knew what was making me crazy but I couldn't

stop it. Sort of the way PMS makes me frustrated cuz I know it's happening

but I can't stop it.

At one point, my mom and I had a falling out and I didn't see her for 3

years. What changed that was having my first child. Then we were both

motivated to find a way to reconcile our differences and appreciate the

good. Still, it's been a long time getting to the point where I can visit

her and not having that crabby time before and after.

I know friends who have had to break ties with parents or siblings that are

what Dr Phil calls " toxic relationships " .

I hope you find the strength to do whatever it is that calms you -- writing

your lists, rearranging the art box, whatever. Forget all the other things

you " should " be doing. None of those are good if you're going nuts inside.

First priority is getting yourself settled.

So think about it... is it possible to just call and say you're not coming

cuz you're just not up to it? You don't have to give a big excuse. Make

something up. Would you be relieved to be out of that commitment for today?

I may be way of base -- so just delete and never mind if it's not helpful!

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

[Guest guest]

Great strategy!! You sound more like yourself already!

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

Re: charge behaviour stuff - how do i get out of this ugly

mood

Thanks Yuka and Chip.

Your right chip. I think this might be partialy a charge thing the

moodyness. I just threw my clothes in the laundry so at least i will get

something accomplished. My next goal is garbage. I just made a list on my

white board but only let myself put 3 things on it so i wouldnt get

overwhelmed.

1. laundry

2. Garbage

3. sort art supplies (reward)

then i will make a new 3 list thing if i still have time. I wont push myself

too far today.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Well its just a short visit and my little cosin will be there so maby the

two of us will go feed the horse or play with the cat.

I think its mostly my dad and my step grandfather. They tend to joke around

and i find their jokes offencive. Dad teases the way i say sertain words or

if i say a word, he will be silly and say a rhyming word.

Step grandfather makes fun of my clothes. Im gonna ware the most nutral

thing i can find. Now if i could just do something nuetral with my hair wich

is too long to just keep down but too short to braid. hmm. il work on it.

Maby i will just use my normal work pony tail and black hair clips. That

usualy works well enough.

Unfortunatly its easter dinner so unless i can feign the flu i dont think i

can get out of going. Luckly its just gonna be for a few hours. I will bring

my Sudoku with me too.

I think part of the problem is also that im trying to decide if i should

call my moms family to wish them a happy easter. If i talk to my grandma she

will ask me if i talked to my mom recently. She tells me that she wishes mom

and me would forgive each other. I cant forgive some stuff. Sertainly not

lying to police about what someone supposidly did to me that they didnt and

how she refuses to belive my step dad did what i clamed he did.

Its also my sister's birthday. I want to call her and i dont have her email

address. It may still be the same but i dont know. If i knew her school one

that might be ok too. Dunno yet.

This week at work i had to deal with this mom always staying over her

alloted time limit at the kids club. Also she let her kid come in with a

metal poll bar. I tried to tell her to take it out of the kidsclub but she

claimed it was her kids " microphone " all i could think of was my mom's son

whacking me really hard with a mettal croquette racket cause he was in a bad

mood. That made me very tence. The mom didnt want to have to deal with a

temper tantrum if she took the bar away from her son. I felt like telling

her it was her job as a parent. (besides a few words i wont use here, lol).

I think next time the mom comes in, i will just ask that any manager come to

the kids club asap and when their there, i will just explain to the mom she

either takes the bar away or she has to take her child back home. I just

wish my co worker was more supportive. She gives blond ppl a seriously bad

name. She even admits to people that she plays the dumb blond act. She says

she likes to do it too. *shudder*

I know i have a lot of cleaning to do. Actualy it just seems that way. On

the pluss side, I have a nice long weekend and no classes. Just an exam wich

im well prepared for next week. The exam i get to start early so thats a

bonus for me.

Wow, having written all that down i think i can kinda see why im feeling

this way. I feel a little more relaxed though.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Well its just a short visit and my little cosin will be there so maby the

two of us will go feed the horse or play with the cat.

I think its mostly my dad and my step grandfather. They tend to joke around

and i find their jokes offencive. Dad teases the way i say sertain words or

if i say a word, he will be silly and say a rhyming word.

Step grandfather makes fun of my clothes. Im gonna ware the most nutral

thing i can find. Now if i could just do something nuetral with my hair wich

is too long to just keep down but too short to braid. hmm. il work on it.

Maby i will just use my normal work pony tail and black hair clips. That

usualy works well enough.

Unfortunatly its easter dinner so unless i can feign the flu i dont think i

can get out of going. Luckly its just gonna be for a few hours. I will bring

my Sudoku with me too.

I think part of the problem is also that im trying to decide if i should

call my moms family to wish them a happy easter. If i talk to my grandma she

will ask me if i talked to my mom recently. She tells me that she wishes mom

and me would forgive each other. I cant forgive some stuff. Sertainly not

lying to police about what someone supposidly did to me that they didnt and

how she refuses to belive my step dad did what i clamed he did.

Its also my sister's birthday. I want to call her and i dont have her email

address. It may still be the same but i dont know. If i knew her school one

that might be ok too. Dunno yet.

This week at work i had to deal with this mom always staying over her

alloted time limit at the kids club. Also she let her kid come in with a

metal poll bar. I tried to tell her to take it out of the kidsclub but she

claimed it was her kids " microphone " all i could think of was my mom's son

whacking me really hard with a mettal croquette racket cause he was in a bad

mood. That made me very tence. The mom didnt want to have to deal with a

temper tantrum if she took the bar away from her son. I felt like telling

her it was her job as a parent. (besides a few words i wont use here, lol).

I think next time the mom comes in, i will just ask that any manager come to

the kids club asap and when their there, i will just explain to the mom she

either takes the bar away or she has to take her child back home. I just

wish my co worker was more supportive. She gives blond ppl a seriously bad

name. She even admits to people that she plays the dumb blond act. She says

she likes to do it too. *shudder*

I know i have a lot of cleaning to do. Actualy it just seems that way. On

the pluss side, I have a nice long weekend and no classes. Just an exam wich

im well prepared for next week. The exam i get to start early so thats a

bonus for me.

Wow, having written all that down i think i can kinda see why im feeling

this way. I feel a little more relaxed though.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Well its just a short visit and my little cosin will be there so maby the

two of us will go feed the horse or play with the cat.

I think its mostly my dad and my step grandfather. They tend to joke around

and i find their jokes offencive. Dad teases the way i say sertain words or

if i say a word, he will be silly and say a rhyming word.

Step grandfather makes fun of my clothes. Im gonna ware the most nutral

thing i can find. Now if i could just do something nuetral with my hair wich

is too long to just keep down but too short to braid. hmm. il work on it.

Maby i will just use my normal work pony tail and black hair clips. That

usualy works well enough.

Unfortunatly its easter dinner so unless i can feign the flu i dont think i

can get out of going. Luckly its just gonna be for a few hours. I will bring

my Sudoku with me too.

I think part of the problem is also that im trying to decide if i should

call my moms family to wish them a happy easter. If i talk to my grandma she

will ask me if i talked to my mom recently. She tells me that she wishes mom

and me would forgive each other. I cant forgive some stuff. Sertainly not

lying to police about what someone supposidly did to me that they didnt and

how she refuses to belive my step dad did what i clamed he did.

Its also my sister's birthday. I want to call her and i dont have her email

address. It may still be the same but i dont know. If i knew her school one

that might be ok too. Dunno yet.

This week at work i had to deal with this mom always staying over her

alloted time limit at the kids club. Also she let her kid come in with a

metal poll bar. I tried to tell her to take it out of the kidsclub but she

claimed it was her kids " microphone " all i could think of was my mom's son

whacking me really hard with a mettal croquette racket cause he was in a bad

mood. That made me very tence. The mom didnt want to have to deal with a

temper tantrum if she took the bar away from her son. I felt like telling

her it was her job as a parent. (besides a few words i wont use here, lol).

I think next time the mom comes in, i will just ask that any manager come to

the kids club asap and when their there, i will just explain to the mom she

either takes the bar away or she has to take her child back home. I just

wish my co worker was more supportive. She gives blond ppl a seriously bad

name. She even admits to people that she plays the dumb blond act. She says

she likes to do it too. *shudder*

I know i have a lot of cleaning to do. Actualy it just seems that way. On

the pluss side, I have a nice long weekend and no classes. Just an exam wich

im well prepared for next week. The exam i get to start early so thats a

bonus for me.

Wow, having written all that down i think i can kinda see why im feeling

this way. I feel a little more relaxed though.

Chantelle

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

You sound so much better already!! You've got a lot on your mind, but it is

always better when you share it, isn't it??

About the kid with the bar, when I did daycare, this is how I would have

handled it. I'd tell the child as soon as he arrived that the metal bar was

dangerous and against our rules at day care. He could leave it in the car

or I'd put it up in a safe place and he could have it back when he went

home. If he wanted another microphone, he could find something in our toy

selection to use - -and I'd help him find something if he needed help. Our

rules were strict regarding safety, toys from home, etc. I didn't expect

parents to enforce my rules themselves. As soon as the child entered my

domain, I was the boss and my rules took precedence. Sometimes, that was a

welcome relief to a parent. The kids would listen to me without question

about something that they might have fought the parents about.

I hope your weekend continues to go well and that you enjoy the time with

your little cousin.

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

You sound so much better already!! You've got a lot on your mind, but it is

always better when you share it, isn't it??

About the kid with the bar, when I did daycare, this is how I would have

handled it. I'd tell the child as soon as he arrived that the metal bar was

dangerous and against our rules at day care. He could leave it in the car

or I'd put it up in a safe place and he could have it back when he went

home. If he wanted another microphone, he could find something in our toy

selection to use - -and I'd help him find something if he needed help. Our

rules were strict regarding safety, toys from home, etc. I didn't expect

parents to enforce my rules themselves. As soon as the child entered my

domain, I was the boss and my rules took precedence. Sometimes, that was a

welcome relief to a parent. The kids would listen to me without question

about something that they might have fought the parents about.

I hope your weekend continues to go well and that you enjoy the time with

your little cousin.

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

You sound so much better already!! You've got a lot on your mind, but it is

always better when you share it, isn't it??

About the kid with the bar, when I did daycare, this is how I would have

handled it. I'd tell the child as soon as he arrived that the metal bar was

dangerous and against our rules at day care. He could leave it in the car

or I'd put it up in a safe place and he could have it back when he went

home. If he wanted another microphone, he could find something in our toy

selection to use - -and I'd help him find something if he needed help. Our

rules were strict regarding safety, toys from home, etc. I didn't expect

parents to enforce my rules themselves. As soon as the child entered my

domain, I was the boss and my rules took precedence. Sometimes, that was a

welcome relief to a parent. The kids would listen to me without question

about something that they might have fought the parents about.

I hope your weekend continues to go well and that you enjoy the time with

your little cousin.

Michele W

mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

[Guest guest]

Chantelle,

Along with the CHARGE issues don't you also have diabetes? What have your

numbers been recently? Are you running high, low, high, low...? That can have

a negative effect on your mental stability.

Your diet is extremely important right now no matter what the cause is.

I am not going to be telling you any happy things because you won't hear it

right now and that's OK. I'll just say them later.

Keep yourself busy. Can you go for a walk? Can you write a poem or two?

Can you draw how you feel? Can you draw your family?

Last........ Just know we are all here with you.

Bonnie, Mom to a 23, Patty CHARGE 21, and wife to

[Guest guest]

modiness is charge ting i do it al the time and my friends alwasy cop it

they know its me:P

>

> Chantelle-

> You sound so much better already!! You've got a lot on your mind, but it

> is

> always better when you share it, isn't it??

>

> About the kid with the bar, when I did daycare, this is how I would have

> handled it. I'd tell the child as soon as he arrived that the metal bar

> was

> dangerous and against our rules at day care. He could leave it in the car

> or I'd put it up in a safe place and he could have it back when he went

> home. If he wanted another microphone, he could find something in our toy

> selection to use - -and I'd help him find something if he needed

> help. Our

> rules were strict regarding safety, toys from home, etc. I didn't expect

> parents to enforce my rules themselves. As soon as the child entered my

> domain, I was the boss and my rules took precedence. Sometimes, that was

> a

> welcome relief to a parent. The kids would listen to me without question

> about something that they might have fought the parents about.

>

> I hope your weekend continues to go well and that you enjoy the time with

> your little cousin.

>

> Michele W

> mom to Aubrie 8 yrs CHARGE, 14 yrs and wife to DJ

>

>

>

>

>

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