RE: Kim-Di's surgery ,very very long!

[Guest guest]

Kim,

we have not tuned out, " When Kim speaks, we all listen " (remember that old

commercial?). This is a fascinating discussion.

pam

Pamela J. , M.A., CAGS

Licensed Educational Psychologist

Perkins School for the Blind, Deafblind Program

175 North Beacon St.

Watertown, MA 02472

> ----------

> From: CHARGE on behalf of Kim Lauger

> Reply To: CHARGE

> Sent: Thursday, March 2, 2006 1:22 PM

> To: CHARGE

> Subject: Re: Kim-Di's surgery ,very very long!

>

> - I so agree with you about the attention and being detached from the

> outcome - too hard to do for your own dear child.

>

> I find it interesting that you brought up quantum physics today, because Roy

> and I were talking about it this weekend - the extent of my knowledge is a

> couple of Deepok tapes and books; just enough to be intrigued by the

> possibility of it all. Much of it resonates in me as truth, yet I do not

> have faith that I could let go of my knowledge pertaining to a diagnosis to

> allow the change in cells that occur continually to lead to a reality

> without the diagnosis. I KNOW (meaning resonates as truth to me) it is

> possible, but I KNOW I get in the way.

>

> One example where healing happened - Dylan had a large ASD, basically no

> wall at all between the upper chambers. The hole was large enough that they

> were not going to be able to use a balloon procedure to close it, because

> there was not enough wall for the balloon to attach to on either side.

> Diagnosed age 2 weeks. At first I am hopeful that it will close on its own,

> although medically I am told it is too big to close on its own (picture a

> cut healing - healing happens on both sides then grows together to close in

> the opening, if the cut is too wide you need stitches to bring the two sides

> together. We had a friend do Johreih on him, because he wanted to and we

> didn't think it would hurt. Then life moved on. Every time we see the

> doctor, it is talk about when to do the surgery, not if, but when. My

> medical knowledge is saying surgery is a definite, clouding out my " faith in

> possibility " that defines me. I begin to get anxious about Dylan having

> open heart surgery - I remember a child who died during an ASD repair that I

> cared for right after my first child died - very uncommon - but I think the

> mom knew going in. My anxiety for the surgery builds. Then I see a Touched

> By An Angel episode and the visual of God as the surgeon, working through

> the hands of the doctor came to me, and my fears left me. I know that all my

> life experiences have taught me that as painful as something is good always

> comes of it, so without telling myself to, I simply was able to let go of

> the outcome of Dylan's surgery. My being simply knew that it would be okay

> either way. So we go in for the echo to " prepare for surgery " as it says on

> the requisition. The tech looks and looks, then she looks at us with

> amazement and says, " there is no hole, not even a hint of a hole " so

> somewhere in all of that the hole healed and he did not need the surgery.

>

> Even now though, I do not feel I was in control of if it healed or did not

> heal - it was simply an incredible miraculous blessing - one that took me to

> my knees (physically bowled me over) in gratitude and yet offers truth to

> this whole quantum physics thing.

>

> Now the part I was trying to write last night if you care to continue.

>

> So I am in the midst of the questioning if Tyler has childhood onset bipolar

> and not " simply " Inattentive ADD and learning disabilities - on one hand I

> know it is just a label, and the only use for the label is to help guide my

> understanding (and hopefully his) of what happens for him and then figure

> out better ways to respond - yet the media image of bipolar and even the

> statistics about substance abuse, number in prison etc for those with>

> bipolar is frankly terrifying so hard to let go of the concern of Is it or

> Isn't it. Then we know that the DSM manuals are based on behaviors and we

> know behavior is not static, but we also know that there is a genetic

> component, which implies to me that part cannot be changed. Then we add on

> parenting tapes that say " even if they have bipolar and end up in jail, it

> is only because they didn't learn the skills - ie parents did not teach them

> the skills, and instead let them get away with ineffective coping patterns. "

> So in my mind I have been trying to sort all this out how much is

> changeable, how much influence do I have, and so on - all of the things we

> consider when we look at these types of difficulties for our CHARGErs.

>

> What does this have to do with Deepok - basically with Tyler, with Dylan,

> even with myself - I believe that the malleable changeable part is there and

> the static genetic or medical diagnoses part is also there and I know the

> malleable part can be huge in impacting the " static " part and yet as much as

> Deepok says we generate a complete new set of cells each day(? Length of

> time) I have a hard time getting to the point that I can see the static part

> simply being gone one day.

>

> Okay back to this am - so even after filling in Dylan's heart healing story,

> I still don't see quantum physics changing any genetic patterns Tyler or

> Dylan have, but it certainly allows great room for enhancing their function

> and possibility in the world in many many ways. I would think 's

> Chiari would be the same and can see the concern about manipulations and so

> on, but now that I put Dylan's story down about Johreih that makes me

> wonder, because the simplistic explanation of Johreih is " channeling the

> light of God to a particular area with intention of healing "

>

> And again I am hoping that most of the list has tuned out for this

> philosophy session, but stayed in tune for the message of hope.

>

> Kim

>

>

>

>

> > I don't know, Kim. I don't know if I have enough time. I don't know if I

> > dare take a chance on any physical manipulation, even the mild ones like

CST

> > and HANDLE.

> > I don't even know if I have time enough to 'jump probabilities', and the

> > only one I have to manipulate for that is me. But that's a tall order.

Letting

> > go is one thing, but the point of attention must be effortless.

Truthfully,

> > I'm not that good at it, especially with the stress of a deadline, and with

> > so much attachment to the outcome. (There are advanced technique courses,

> > which I have not had the benefit of). I do see some humor in these

> > statements..

> > especially from an outside point of view. It's ok to laugh, I won't see

you.

> > Just don't tell me..

> > I already attempted to get a cine-mri scheduled b4 surgery. I gave him one

> > reason, but I really had another reason for requesting it. He doesn't see

> > the

> > need.

> > What am I going to do/say? I don't think he'd be impressed with my

efforts.

> > On the other hand, no one that I've studied or met with has ever suggested

> > that we walk away from traditional medicine. I read of some self-healing

done

> > in Silva Mind Control. Alot of it was really painful, made me not so

> > interested.

> > I'm putting my attention more onto creating a more healthful state for her

> > prior to surgery, and for her recovery. Then we should have the

opportunity

> > to persue those other avenues, and

> > I'm really looking forward to that.

> > Peace,

> > in Ma.

> > Mom to , 20 yrs old (CHARGE), 22 yrs. and partner to Alan (12

> > years now)

> >

> >

> >