Re: bummed, excited, nervous, crazy! (m/c, ttc mentioned)

[Guest guest]

Jasmine,

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with the baby shower today. It's a good thing

that you have the RE appointment tomorrow as it is one step closer to reaching

your dream and gives you something positive to focus on.

Dealing with this is so hard, and it's worse when you can't explain to people

how you feel or why you are behaving as such. I so know what you mean about

the sadness. As happy as I am for my two SILs who have gotten pregnant since we

started ttc, I'm still sad that I'm not right in there with them. First, we

thought we would have one at the same time as my second nephew was born and then

we never did get pregnant. Instead, we found out about my MA and were faced

with the incredible possibility of not having children at all. Then, when we

did get pregnant and our due date was the same date as my other SIL, we

miscarried one week after we shared the news with them. I'm so scared how I

will react when she does finally have her child. I am so happy for her, but it

is hard not to be sad when I think of that day to come in the future. It's

hard not to be sad when I see how happy these new mothers around me are when

they show off their babies. It's hard not to be sad when I see the pain of

childlessness in my husband's eyes. It's hard not to be sad when I feel the

disappointment of some family members that we still do not have children. It's

hard not to be sad when I realize how old we will be when we finally do have

kids, if we still have enough time left to have them.

There are so many reasons to be sad when you are dealing with infertility. And

the pain of a miscarriage makes it even worse. I just want you to know that you

are not alone. We are all here to help support you. I hope your visit tomorrow

goes well, that the doctor answers all your questions, and that you leave his

office with a plan for the future.

Best wishes,

Mikell, 32

t-shaped

ttc #1 16 months

1 silent m/c 2/04

bummed, excited, nervous, crazy! (m/c, ttc

mentioned)

Hi Everyone

Well, I finally go in tomorrow for my consultation with my RE! Woo

hoo! I'm so excited to finally be this much closer to having a true

dx. My husband is not going to be able to go with me so my mom said

she'd come to lend support and make sure I don't forget to ask any

questions. I'm just hoping that this doctor takes a more agressive

approach and doesn't have such a huge ego that he'll get upset when

I basically insist upon having the lap/hyst to dx BU or SU or both.

I'm bummed today, though, because a woman I work with who is due

Aug. 21 (I was due July 24 to have my baby that I lost at 17 weeks

on Feb. 11) had a big baby shower thrown for her at work by all of

our co-workers. I made a quick appearance and then couldn't stay

much longer because I was so sad. I'm not wishing she didn't have

the celebration, I'm wishing we could have had one together! She

tried for quite some time to conceive and both of her tubes are

totally blocked so she is pregnant this second time through ART so

she's also had her share of heartbreak...I just wish that I had

never lost my baby. I've been doing really well lately and not been

too sad, so it's shocking me how much the sadness has hit me like a

freight train today.

I've taken a bunch of the suggestions for questions on the board for

tomorrow's meeting so I feel confident that I'm going well

prepared. The appointment is an hour long so I'm excited to think

that will probably mean that I'll actually be listened to.

I just am feeling all up and down and everywhere else and had to get

it out there and express it to people who have a better

understanding of the fear and excitement that getting the ball

rolling on everything is causing. And also, unfortunately, who can

understand the hole that the loss leaves behind.

Hope you all have a great day and wish me luck that this RE turns

out to be great tomorrow!

Jasmine

27, BU? SU? both?

1 silent m/c at 17 weeks, 2/12/04

D & E 2/13/04

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[Guest guest]

Jasmine, feel free to always come share your feelings here. I think

we all know how you feel and have all been there at one time or

another. Tomorrow will be the 1 year mark for my first d & c in 2003,

but it's also my friend's daughter's 1st birthday! I try to look at

it as a positive that I can always look at Natasha and see the baby I

coulda/woulda/shoulda had. It stinks but somehow we just have to

find a way to trudge on.

Make sure you update us today when you get back from the RE, I'm

anxious to hear what they have to say and their plan for a proper

diagnosis!

Best of luck-

carol

1 5YO DS Cameron

2 m/c (6/03, 10/03)

septum resected 2/04

[Guest guest]

Jasmine, feel free to always come share your feelings here. I think

we all know how you feel and have all been there at one time or

another. Tomorrow will be the 1 year mark for my first d & c in 2003,

but it's also my friend's daughter's 1st birthday! I try to look at

it as a positive that I can always look at Natasha and see the baby I

coulda/woulda/shoulda had. It stinks but somehow we just have to

find a way to trudge on.

Make sure you update us today when you get back from the RE, I'm

anxious to hear what they have to say and their plan for a proper

diagnosis!

Best of luck-

carol

1 5YO DS Cameron

2 m/c (6/03, 10/03)

septum resected 2/04

[Guest guest]

Hi Jasmine,

You've got a big heart. You handled your coworkers shower really

well just by showing up. I know that it must have been very hard.

It's nice that you recognize that she has had her battles too and I

understand that you are not angry, you are just sad that you won't

get to share this happy time together as you both anticipate the

births of your children. I'm really sorry about that.

Looking forward to hearing from you after your appt with the RE.

Keep us posted, ok?

Sara

SU resected x2