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Hi Newbie!

Best of luck with your doctor's appointment and diagnosis. I was

diagnosed a year ago and have been GF for 11 months.

I read 's note and I laughed because it was so similar to my

experience.

Because all of my (many) symptoms were secondary to the celiac disease

and not because of instant reactions to gluten, my doctor felt it would

be alright for me to take a couple of weeks to get ready.

I spent two weeks on what I called my " Goodbye to Gluten Tour. " I made

a list of my favorite things with gluten, things I felt I would miss

most and systematically checked them off the list. I was fortunate

that I could do that because I did feel like it gave me a sense of

closure. My list included: my favorite pizza place, Devil Dogs, Oreos,

a fabulous popover at a local restaurant, and pancakes.

I then went on my first shopping trip. I bought a million different

products with the idea that I would try as many things as I could to

see what I liked. That's can be an expensive process. GF food is more

expensive anyway, and I bought lots of stuff that I thought tasted

awful and threw away!

To help you get started, I'll let you know what turned out to be my

favorites:

Pasta: Without a doubt: Heartland's Finest. Web site:

www.heartlandingredients.com

I've also used Tinkyada lasagna noodles (at Whole Foods)

Cereal: 365 Honey Corn Flakes (at Whole Foods)

Tacos: Garden of Eaten (at Safeway, www.gardenofeatin.com)

Cookies: K-toos (www.kinnikinnick.com)

I also like the Lemon & Vanilla cookies from Fortitude (they have a

soft, cake-like texture) www.fortitudebrands.com

Pancakes: Pamela's Pancake Mix (available at Whole Foods and my

Safeway)

Bread: This is tough! Many of these products seem to have twice as

many calories as the real thing! I liked the frozen bread from

Kinnikinnick enough (and the calories were reasonable). But I just

baked my own for the first time (using the Kinnikinnick Mix) and it was

way better. 's Bread Mix (formerly known as Manna from ) is

supposed to be very good and I'm going to try that next. Beware: with

many of these mixes, you need a stand mixer instead of a hand mixer.

Cake: I just tried the Dowd and mix and it was really good

(available on online stores such as glutenfreemall.com). I've also

heard that Sylvan Border Farm's cake mix is excellent but I haven't

tried it yet (www.sylvanborderfarm.com)

Hope this helps you get started!

Ellen in land

>

> First time posting here, have read several posts/messages, and loving

> all this information. Am going to the dr today for blood tests, I

> think I am celiac, showing several symptoms, have three " known "

> members in my immediate family with this...... and am very nervous

> about this appt today. My questions: what can I expect from the dr?

> And what is the best to do when starting out with going gluten free?

> A best book, or magazine, tips? Thanks

>

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Hi Newbie!

Best of luck with your doctor's appointment and diagnosis. I was

diagnosed a year ago and have been GF for 11 months.

I read 's note and I laughed because it was so similar to my

experience.

Because all of my (many) symptoms were secondary to the celiac disease

and not because of instant reactions to gluten, my doctor felt it would

be alright for me to take a couple of weeks to get ready.

I spent two weeks on what I called my " Goodbye to Gluten Tour. " I made

a list of my favorite things with gluten, things I felt I would miss

most and systematically checked them off the list. I was fortunate

that I could do that because I did feel like it gave me a sense of

closure. My list included: my favorite pizza place, Devil Dogs, Oreos,

a fabulous popover at a local restaurant, and pancakes.

I then went on my first shopping trip. I bought a million different

products with the idea that I would try as many things as I could to

see what I liked. That's can be an expensive process. GF food is more

expensive anyway, and I bought lots of stuff that I thought tasted

awful and threw away!

To help you get started, I'll let you know what turned out to be my

favorites:

Pasta: Without a doubt: Heartland's Finest. Web site:

www.heartlandingredients.com

I've also used Tinkyada lasagna noodles (at Whole Foods)

Cereal: 365 Honey Corn Flakes (at Whole Foods)

Tacos: Garden of Eaten (at Safeway, www.gardenofeatin.com)

Cookies: K-toos (www.kinnikinnick.com)

I also like the Lemon & Vanilla cookies from Fortitude (they have a

soft, cake-like texture) www.fortitudebrands.com

Pancakes: Pamela's Pancake Mix (available at Whole Foods and my

Safeway)

Bread: This is tough! Many of these products seem to have twice as

many calories as the real thing! I liked the frozen bread from

Kinnikinnick enough (and the calories were reasonable). But I just

baked my own for the first time (using the Kinnikinnick Mix) and it was

way better. 's Bread Mix (formerly known as Manna from ) is

supposed to be very good and I'm going to try that next. Beware: with

many of these mixes, you need a stand mixer instead of a hand mixer.

Cake: I just tried the Dowd and mix and it was really good

(available on online stores such as glutenfreemall.com). I've also

heard that Sylvan Border Farm's cake mix is excellent but I haven't

tried it yet (www.sylvanborderfarm.com)

Hope this helps you get started!

Ellen in land

>

> First time posting here, have read several posts/messages, and loving

> all this information. Am going to the dr today for blood tests, I

> think I am celiac, showing several symptoms, have three " known "

> members in my immediate family with this...... and am very nervous

> about this appt today. My questions: what can I expect from the dr?

> And what is the best to do when starting out with going gluten free?

> A best book, or magazine, tips? Thanks

>

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Am back from the doctor's, and wow.... she ACTUALLY listened to me,

lol. They are going to do the appropriate blood tests this time,

after telling me last time that it is either IBS, or something like

that, take over the counter heartburn meds, etc etc. I have been

eating gluten like crazy the past two weeks, and thinking maybe ten

days of this left?..... I will miss some of the gluten foods, the ease

of gluten foods especially, but will NOT miss feeling this way.

I've done " some " gluten free shopping, but basically right now am

feeling really overwhelmed by all the choices in breads/pasta/ even

books.

I have tried the kinnikinnick white bread (frozen) and taste of that

was much better than that first loaf of some other brand. I did get

the chance to try 's bread and banana bread the other night, and

both were very good taste and texture.

Thank you for your help and tips!!!

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Am back from the doctor's, and wow.... she ACTUALLY listened to me,

lol. They are going to do the appropriate blood tests this time,

after telling me last time that it is either IBS, or something like

that, take over the counter heartburn meds, etc etc. I have been

eating gluten like crazy the past two weeks, and thinking maybe ten

days of this left?..... I will miss some of the gluten foods, the ease

of gluten foods especially, but will NOT miss feeling this way.

I've done " some " gluten free shopping, but basically right now am

feeling really overwhelmed by all the choices in breads/pasta/ even

books.

I have tried the kinnikinnick white bread (frozen) and taste of that

was much better than that first loaf of some other brand. I did get

the chance to try 's bread and banana bread the other night, and

both were very good taste and texture.

Thank you for your help and tips!!!

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Share on other sites

Am back from the doctor's, and wow.... she ACTUALLY listened to me,

lol. They are going to do the appropriate blood tests this time,

after telling me last time that it is either IBS, or something like

that, take over the counter heartburn meds, etc etc. I have been

eating gluten like crazy the past two weeks, and thinking maybe ten

days of this left?..... I will miss some of the gluten foods, the ease

of gluten foods especially, but will NOT miss feeling this way.

I've done " some " gluten free shopping, but basically right now am

feeling really overwhelmed by all the choices in breads/pasta/ even

books.

I have tried the kinnikinnick white bread (frozen) and taste of that

was much better than that first loaf of some other brand. I did get

the chance to try 's bread and banana bread the other night, and

both were very good taste and texture.

Thank you for your help and tips!!!

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Margie.. Welcome!

Did they give you a diagnosis, a reason for your being hypothyroid? Depending on the reason, it maybe causing the fluctuations now...

If you had copies of your labs, with lab ranges, and could post them for us... we'd be better able to see what they have been testing and what is going on... it might be time for an adjustment in your dosage... but we don't know til we see the numbers and hear more about how you are feeling....

We've learned that its BOTH labs and symptoms that tell the story when you're dealing with thyroid hormones.

With your lifestyle change... did you add or remove any food groups that might have changed things? Specifically I'm looking for a major increase in consumption of soy and certain vegies.....

Nice to have you here.. not that you're not feeling well though...

Topper ()Proud of our family here at TTSG

On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:58:45 -0000 "margieyoumans" writes:

Greetings! My name is Margie. I am a 30 yr old female from Virginia. I've had problems for years that was misdiagnosed as depression. I was put on valumn at age 11 and my mom was smart enough to see that it only made things worse. I had my thyroid checked and was told I was ok as a teenager. I moved to VA and had some problems and was then diagnosed with anemia. Nothing I took and none of the new diagnosis seemed to help anything. About 3yrs ago, I met a new Dr that ran more blood test and found I have hypothyroidism. I take synthroid .075 right now as we had a weird fluctuation recently and are working to get me back level. I go to the dr again in March for my next test.I started a lifestyle change as my new year's resolution. When I was looking for a weight loss support group, I ran across this group and thought it would be great to be around people who know that there is more to weight loss than just diet and exercise for us.Margie

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can you all tell me what the problem is with thyroid patients and soy??.... i

eat a lot of soy and i don't really notice anything different than before i

started. i know some of you have problems with soy, can any of you tell me why

thyroid patients have a 'reaction' to it and what that reaction is??

andrea

Quoting topper2@...:

> Margie.. Welcome!

>

> Did they give you a diagnosis, a reason for your being hypothyroid?

> Depending on the reason, it maybe causing the fluctuations now...

>

> If you had copies of your labs, with lab ranges, and could post them for

> us... we'd be better able to see what they have been testing and what is

> going on... it might be time for an adjustment in your dosage... but we

> don't know til we see the numbers and hear more about how you are

> feeling....

>

> We've learned that its BOTH labs and symptoms that tell the story when

> you're dealing with thyroid hormones.

>

> With your lifestyle change... did you add or remove any food groups that

> might have changed things? Specifically I'm looking for a major increase

> in consumption of soy and certain vegies.....

>

> Nice to have you here.. not that you're not feeling well though...

>

> Topper ()

> Proud of our family here at TTSG

>

> On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:58:45 -0000 " margieyoumans "

> writes:

> Greetings! My name is Margie. I am a 30 yr old female from

> Virginia. I've had problems for years that was misdiagnosed as

> depression. I was put on valumn at age 11 and my mom was smart enough

> to see that it only made things worse. I had my thyroid checked and

> was told I was ok as a teenager. I moved to VA and had some problems

> and was then diagnosed with anemia. Nothing I took and none of the

> new diagnosis seemed to help anything. About 3yrs ago, I met a new Dr

> that ran more blood test and found I have hypothyroidism. I take

> synthroid .075 right now as we had a weird fluctuation recently and

> are working to get me back level. I go to the dr again in March for

> my next test.

>

> I started a lifestyle change as my new year's resolution. When I was

> looking for a weight loss support group, I ran across this group and

> thought it would be great to be around people who know that there is

> more to weight loss than just diet and exercise for us.

>

> Margie

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can you all tell me what the problem is with thyroid patients and soy??.... i

eat a lot of soy and i don't really notice anything different than before i

started. i know some of you have problems with soy, can any of you tell me why

thyroid patients have a 'reaction' to it and what that reaction is??

andrea

Quoting topper2@...:

> Margie.. Welcome!

>

> Did they give you a diagnosis, a reason for your being hypothyroid?

> Depending on the reason, it maybe causing the fluctuations now...

>

> If you had copies of your labs, with lab ranges, and could post them for

> us... we'd be better able to see what they have been testing and what is

> going on... it might be time for an adjustment in your dosage... but we

> don't know til we see the numbers and hear more about how you are

> feeling....

>

> We've learned that its BOTH labs and symptoms that tell the story when

> you're dealing with thyroid hormones.

>

> With your lifestyle change... did you add or remove any food groups that

> might have changed things? Specifically I'm looking for a major increase

> in consumption of soy and certain vegies.....

>

> Nice to have you here.. not that you're not feeling well though...

>

> Topper ()

> Proud of our family here at TTSG

>

> On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:58:45 -0000 " margieyoumans "

> writes:

> Greetings! My name is Margie. I am a 30 yr old female from

> Virginia. I've had problems for years that was misdiagnosed as

> depression. I was put on valumn at age 11 and my mom was smart enough

> to see that it only made things worse. I had my thyroid checked and

> was told I was ok as a teenager. I moved to VA and had some problems

> and was then diagnosed with anemia. Nothing I took and none of the

> new diagnosis seemed to help anything. About 3yrs ago, I met a new Dr

> that ran more blood test and found I have hypothyroidism. I take

> synthroid .075 right now as we had a weird fluctuation recently and

> are working to get me back level. I go to the dr again in March for

> my next test.

>

> I started a lifestyle change as my new year's resolution. When I was

> looking for a weight loss support group, I ran across this group and

> thought it would be great to be around people who know that there is

> more to weight loss than just diet and exercise for us.

>

> Margie

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It's not a reaction.. it has to do with the chemistry in the body.. Unfermented soy products affect both the thyroid's ability to produce hormone as well as the body's ability to convert T4 to T3... Soy sauce, a fermented soy product, is good... I think Miso is the other product that is fermented....

Then there are the cancer risks involved.... http://www.roex.com/Articles/dangerofsoylinks.htm

Topper ()

On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 15:45:26 -0500 misswindjammer@... writes:

can you all tell me what the problem is with thyroid patients and soy??.... ieat a lot of soy and i don't really notice anything different than before istarted. i know some of you have problems with soy, can any of you tell me whythyroid patients have a 'reaction' to it and what that reaction is??andrea

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It's not a reaction.. it has to do with the chemistry in the body.. Unfermented soy products affect both the thyroid's ability to produce hormone as well as the body's ability to convert T4 to T3... Soy sauce, a fermented soy product, is good... I think Miso is the other product that is fermented....

Then there are the cancer risks involved.... http://www.roex.com/Articles/dangerofsoylinks.htm

Topper ()

On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 15:45:26 -0500 misswindjammer@... writes:

can you all tell me what the problem is with thyroid patients and soy??.... ieat a lot of soy and i don't really notice anything different than before istarted. i know some of you have problems with soy, can any of you tell me whythyroid patients have a 'reaction' to it and what that reaction is??andrea

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It helps a lot. I sleep better but only sparatically. Some nights

I still toss and turn. My hair is not falling out as fast and I

don't have as big of a problem with mood swings. I think it is

going to take another adjustment to help even more.

>

> You came to the right place. I have a yahoo group for Virginia

residents if you

> are interested. You can also feel free to hang out right here

to. :) We'll be

> able to help answer your questions.

>

> Do you feel the synthroid is helping you or like you're missing

something??

>

> andrea

>

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It helps a lot. I sleep better but only sparatically. Some nights

I still toss and turn. My hair is not falling out as fast and I

don't have as big of a problem with mood swings. I think it is

going to take another adjustment to help even more.

>

> You came to the right place. I have a yahoo group for Virginia

residents if you

> are interested. You can also feel free to hang out right here

to. :) We'll be

> able to help answer your questions.

>

> Do you feel the synthroid is helping you or like you're missing

something??

>

> andrea

>

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I've never have been given a reason. I think it dates back to an

automobile accident I had when I was in 2nd grade. I was very thin

until after the accident. I sustained a head injury. I really

think that's the case. I don't have a family history of diagnosed

thyroid issues.

I do have my lab papers, but I will have to rummage to find them.

When I do I will post them.

My lifestyle change wasn't anything too drastic. I eat the same

things, I just eat smaller portions and don't do seconds.

My fluctuation actually occured before the lifestyle change.

>

> Margie.. Welcome!

>

> Did they give you a diagnosis, a reason for your being hypothyroid?

> Depending on the reason, it maybe causing the fluctuations now...

>

> If you had copies of your labs, with lab ranges, and could post

them for us... we'd be better able to see what they have been

testing and what is going on... it might be time for an adjustment

in your dosage... but we don't know til we see the numbers and hear

more about how you are feeling....

>

We've learned that its BOTH labs and symptoms that tell the story

when you're dealing with thyroid hormones.

With your lifestyle change... did you add or remove any food groups

that might have changed things? Specifically I'm looking for a major

increase in consumption of soy and certain vegies.....

>

> Nice to have you here.. not that you're not feeling well though...

>

> Topper ()

> Proud of our family here at TTSG

>

> On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:58:45 -0000 " margieyoumans "

> <margieyoumans@y...> writes:

> Greetings! My name is Margie. I am a 30 yr old female from

> Virginia. I've had problems for years that was misdiagnosed as

> depression. I was put on valumn at age 11 and my mom was smart

enough

> to see that it only made things worse. I had my thyroid checked

and

> was told I was ok as a teenager. I moved to VA and had some

problems

> and was then diagnosed with anemia. Nothing I took and none of

the

> new diagnosis seemed to help anything. About 3yrs ago, I met a

new Dr

> that ran more blood test and found I have hypothyroidism. I take

> synthroid .075 right now as we had a weird fluctuation recently

and

> are working to get me back level. I go to the dr again in March

for

> my next test.

>

> I started a lifestyle change as my new year's resolution. When I

was

> looking for a weight loss support group, I ran across this group

and

> thought it would be great to be around people who know that there

is

> more to weight loss than just diet and exercise for us.

>

> Margie

>

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I've never have been given a reason. I think it dates back to an

automobile accident I had when I was in 2nd grade. I was very thin

until after the accident. I sustained a head injury. I really

think that's the case. I don't have a family history of diagnosed

thyroid issues.

I do have my lab papers, but I will have to rummage to find them.

When I do I will post them.

My lifestyle change wasn't anything too drastic. I eat the same

things, I just eat smaller portions and don't do seconds.

My fluctuation actually occured before the lifestyle change.

>

> Margie.. Welcome!

>

> Did they give you a diagnosis, a reason for your being hypothyroid?

> Depending on the reason, it maybe causing the fluctuations now...

>

> If you had copies of your labs, with lab ranges, and could post

them for us... we'd be better able to see what they have been

testing and what is going on... it might be time for an adjustment

in your dosage... but we don't know til we see the numbers and hear

more about how you are feeling....

>

We've learned that its BOTH labs and symptoms that tell the story

when you're dealing with thyroid hormones.

With your lifestyle change... did you add or remove any food groups

that might have changed things? Specifically I'm looking for a major

increase in consumption of soy and certain vegies.....

>

> Nice to have you here.. not that you're not feeling well though...

>

> Topper ()

> Proud of our family here at TTSG

>

> On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:58:45 -0000 " margieyoumans "

> <margieyoumans@y...> writes:

> Greetings! My name is Margie. I am a 30 yr old female from

> Virginia. I've had problems for years that was misdiagnosed as

> depression. I was put on valumn at age 11 and my mom was smart

enough

> to see that it only made things worse. I had my thyroid checked

and

> was told I was ok as a teenager. I moved to VA and had some

problems

> and was then diagnosed with anemia. Nothing I took and none of

the

> new diagnosis seemed to help anything. About 3yrs ago, I met a

new Dr

> that ran more blood test and found I have hypothyroidism. I take

> synthroid .075 right now as we had a weird fluctuation recently

and

> are working to get me back level. I go to the dr again in March

for

> my next test.

>

> I started a lifestyle change as my new year's resolution. When I

was

> looking for a weight loss support group, I ran across this group

and

> thought it would be great to be around people who know that there

is

> more to weight loss than just diet and exercise for us.

>

> Margie

>

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Share on other sites

I've never have been given a reason. I think it dates back to an

automobile accident I had when I was in 2nd grade. I was very thin

until after the accident. I sustained a head injury. I really

think that's the case. I don't have a family history of diagnosed

thyroid issues.

I do have my lab papers, but I will have to rummage to find them.

When I do I will post them.

My lifestyle change wasn't anything too drastic. I eat the same

things, I just eat smaller portions and don't do seconds.

My fluctuation actually occured before the lifestyle change.

>

> Margie.. Welcome!

>

> Did they give you a diagnosis, a reason for your being hypothyroid?

> Depending on the reason, it maybe causing the fluctuations now...

>

> If you had copies of your labs, with lab ranges, and could post

them for us... we'd be better able to see what they have been

testing and what is going on... it might be time for an adjustment

in your dosage... but we don't know til we see the numbers and hear

more about how you are feeling....

>

We've learned that its BOTH labs and symptoms that tell the story

when you're dealing with thyroid hormones.

With your lifestyle change... did you add or remove any food groups

that might have changed things? Specifically I'm looking for a major

increase in consumption of soy and certain vegies.....

>

> Nice to have you here.. not that you're not feeling well though...

>

> Topper ()

> Proud of our family here at TTSG

>

> On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 14:58:45 -0000 " margieyoumans "

> <margieyoumans@y...> writes:

> Greetings! My name is Margie. I am a 30 yr old female from

> Virginia. I've had problems for years that was misdiagnosed as

> depression. I was put on valumn at age 11 and my mom was smart

enough

> to see that it only made things worse. I had my thyroid checked

and

> was told I was ok as a teenager. I moved to VA and had some

problems

> and was then diagnosed with anemia. Nothing I took and none of

the

> new diagnosis seemed to help anything. About 3yrs ago, I met a

new Dr

> that ran more blood test and found I have hypothyroidism. I take

> synthroid .075 right now as we had a weird fluctuation recently

and

> are working to get me back level. I go to the dr again in March

for

> my next test.

>

> I started a lifestyle change as my new year's resolution. When I

was

> looking for a weight loss support group, I ran across this group

and

> thought it would be great to be around people who know that there

is

> more to weight loss than just diet and exercise for us.

>

> Margie

>

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The gland can sustain damage from injury.. that could very well be it....

The labs will tell us better how you're doing.. we can then go from there.

I wanted to check about changes cuz it can happen that someone makes a HUGE change and they end up having hormones shift.. or a border line condition not be so borderline anymore... best to check the simple stuff first and then get busy digging...

Topper ()

On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 23:54:07 -0000 "margieyoumans" writes:

I've never have been given a reason. I think it dates back to an automobile accident I had when I was in 2nd grade. I was very thin until after the accident. I sustained a head injury. I really think that's the case. I don't have a family history of diagnosed thyroid issues. I do have my lab papers, but I will have to rummage to find them. When I do I will post them.My lifestyle change wasn't anything too drastic. I eat the same things, I just eat smaller portions and don't do seconds. My fluctuation actually occured before the lifestyle change.

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Share on other sites

The gland can sustain damage from injury.. that could very well be it....

The labs will tell us better how you're doing.. we can then go from there.

I wanted to check about changes cuz it can happen that someone makes a HUGE change and they end up having hormones shift.. or a border line condition not be so borderline anymore... best to check the simple stuff first and then get busy digging...

Topper ()

On Mon, 23 Jan 2006 23:54:07 -0000 "margieyoumans" writes:

I've never have been given a reason. I think it dates back to an automobile accident I had when I was in 2nd grade. I was very thin until after the accident. I sustained a head injury. I really think that's the case. I don't have a family history of diagnosed thyroid issues. I do have my lab papers, but I will have to rummage to find them. When I do I will post them.My lifestyle change wasn't anything too drastic. I eat the same things, I just eat smaller portions and don't do seconds. My fluctuation actually occured before the lifestyle change.

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, are you feeling completely well with your thyroid problems? Or are

you having problems regulating that and don't know why? If you are, all

that soy may very well be the answer.

Re: Newbie

> can you all tell me what the problem is with thyroid patients and

soy??.... i

> eat a lot of soy and i don't really notice anything different than before

i

> started. i know some of you have problems with soy, can any of you tell

me why

> thyroid patients have a 'reaction' to it and what that reaction is??

>

> andrea

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  • 2 months later...
Guest guest

My name is deb, and although I myself do not have breast cancer, someone close

to me is

now waiting for word on whether she does.

I have been reading posts here for a few days, and am so appreciative of the

support and

care so openly shared by all of you.

To be honest, I deeply hope my joining this group, and sharing the existence of

this group

with her, is moot. But, I'm also hoping that if I can get her into a good

support system

right from the start (and even with this 2-week wait she is having to endure for

word),

some of the hell she and her husband are going through can be lessened somwhat.

If she joins this group, and reads this post, I wonder what she's going to think

of me? <G>

If you're out there, please don't be angry!

I myself have so many concerns. There were lumps found in both breasts, and one

over an

armpit, yet there is a 2 week wait for cycle completion before a mammogram. I

don't

understand that at all- I would think some sort of needle aspiration (is that

what it's

called? Extracting material with a needle to test?) or other immediate biopsy

procedure

would have been done, at least on the lump in her lymph area. When she and I

talked

about it at first, we were (perhaps trying to calm ourselves, I don't know)

thinking that it

was a good sign. That the wait was because the lumps are most likely fibroids,

as her

doctor said they might be, and the mammogram was just for final confirmation.

But the

more I read, and the more I think, the less happy I am about that wait.

And I'm not even the one having to live this. She and her husband are both not

discussing

it anymore, (I don't even know if the husband is aware that I know, she told me

privately

and had said then she wasn't going to tell him she had let me know) and are

trying their to

just keep on living their lives normally. From what I know of them both,

though, this has

to be sheer hell on them, both seperately and together.

I had written privately to nne, and recieved a wonderful, loving reply, and

now am

asking the rest of you for some help- selfishly, I'm afraid, but I am desperate

for input

from those who have gone, and are going, through this.

I want to be a help to them both. I am an herbalist, but please don't think I

feel I can give

any advice to them at all about this- I am incredibly ignorant about not only

cancer, but

there are too many huge considerations I cannot even fathom about medications,

treatments, everything. About the only thing I am going to advise is " Be Very

Careful " .

The thing is, I'm concerned the husband might, at one point or another, start

hoping I'll be

able to pull some alternative or herbal miracle out of my hat- and that my

inability to do

so may be one more hurt, one more source of let-down. He is wholly, wonderfully,

head-

over-heals in love with his young wife. I believe she is far more realistic,

which strange as

this may sound, is a big relief. The last thing I want to do is be a source of

any negative.

nne had suggested just being sure I'm there for either one or both as they

might

want me. That makes perfect sense to me, and I'm happy to be available for

anything I

can supply, from being a sounding board to making a dinner for them, perhaps

getting

her out to do a bit of fun stuff. But I am unsure what else I can do. Right

now, I'm trying to

find out all I can about breast cancer, and am finding all the information

overwhelming. it

seems I am right now at an impasse, since we don't even know if it is cancer at

all yet, and

so have no idea what stage, type, etc. I know she is hoping I can get some

good

information for her, and I am trying, but I don't know, besides general,

overview-type

information, what I can stockpile for her if the time comes.

I have a strong background in research in general, but mostly in other overall

areas (I'm a

former paralegal). I know they are going to be counting on me to help them

research and

learn, and I feel so horribly out of my realm I'm ready to cry. Heck, I've

already been

crying. From fear, and frustration, and... just hurt. I'm sure this is nothing

new to any of

you.

And, I have been trying to find information about this waiting time, with zero

luck. Two

weeks, (well, now it's more like a week) frankly, looms like an eternity to me-

I can't

imagine what it must be like for them. What can I do for them during this time?

Or should

I , how do I say this... " not-do " ? Is it better for me to just let her know

now, and him when

he knows I'm aware of this, that I am here, and then wait for them to initiate

any

conversation or such? A part of me thinks this would be the best, rather than

running the

chance of continually bludgeoning them with the reminder. But I don't want them,

either

one, to get the idea I am not fully here, that I am trying to just ignore it or

avoid it.

She, especially, is one of the strongest, no-nonsense, most practical and

intelligent

women I have ever had the great luck to know. I knew the husband for years

before they

got together, have worked on and off for him, and he has been a wonderful friend

to me,

also. I almost consider him a brother in some senses, and she, in the year or so

I have

known her, I also feel close to sister to, even though officially, they are my

employers.

I guess it's pretty obvious I'm flailing, here. I want to be a source of support

for them both,

but actually feel more like tumbleweed, blowing here and there trying to figure

out what to

do, what to learn, how to best be a help.

Anyone with suggestions, guidance, anything, I would so deeply appreciate your

input.

BTW, I am so glad to see a group such as this one. The feeling of support and

love shared

here is palpable and wonderful.

Thanks, deb

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