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Re: & Update on Husband

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: I have not met you,but today there was so much sorrow,with Kim losing

her dad and maeve her husband that I know just what you mean that you had to

step away. I guess sometimes we have to go with the flow. We have been on an

Avastin study for almost 2 years. They had us stay but the last two chemo's

were

for Oxy,5FU+Lv and no Avastin because he had protein in his urine. they did a

blood panel.we get results tomorrow (billirubin and creatinin were high,CBC

was Ok but red blood cells down) he has a lot of fatigue and his legs caved in

today so we had to sit.

You have to believe things will get better,and have faith in your onc and it

helps if you

have faith in God. hugs and prayers Nick & Jane

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Thank you for sharing your experience. I come to this site because

I know that people here know what I am going through. My friends

and others don't really know. I don't share much with them for many

reasons. And, I keep my chin up and remain positive around my

husband, friends and coworkers. But as many of you know there are

weeks, days and hours that can really drain you of your energy and

rob you of your happiness. My husband and I cherish each day

together, but the reality of this disease is always there to haunt

me. It is what it is. My husband has an incredibile amount of

stamina and courage. He amazes me every day. I couldn't ask for

more of him.

Today he did not get chemo (again) as planned. The bilirubin is up,

his liver is swollen, red blood cell count is low and the onc. says

she will put him on the new drug as soon as she gets it.

I can't believe you are going through this yourself after going

through it with your husband. I understand completely what you say

about putting your life on hold. I have felt that way so many times

waiting for my husband's results. I hope you get good results and

you can turn life back on again. Enjoy every day the best you can.

> I have been in counseling for the past five years since my husband

passed away. The only thing I am thankful for is he went fast and

did not have to do the cancer ride. I was down to seeing the

counselor every six months but now back to more often since I was

diagnosed with cancer last May. The one thing he has taught me is to

take one day at a time and some days a hour at a time. That is the

only way I have made it half sane this long.

> I also found a saying I like and repeat to myself often. " If God

brings you to it, He will bring you through it " This I really

believe because I have been given the strength to do and accept many

things I thought I never could.

> I am still sitting here waiting for Dr to call with my PET scan

results from last Wed. I feel life is on hold till I hear from him.

>

> Hildreth

> & Update on Husband

>

>

> I am losing hope. I see that things are gradually getting

worse. I

> have sought the help of a psychologist and I just try to get

through

> each week the best way that I can.

>

> My thoughts are with all of you. By the way, I discoved the

many

> links of helpful information posted by . Just one of the

many

> ways that all of his good work will continue to help us.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Thank you for the wonderful words of support and understanding.

Others do not understand such as people I work with and it really

makes me angry and confused.

We will fight this until the end. And collectively, I hope that we

can somehow change the outcome for others in the future.

> > All,

> >

> > I just learned of 's passing as I joined the group after

being

> > away for many months. My computer crashed last Sep/Oct, I then

> > learned I was a victim of identiy theft, lost another family

> member,

> > etc. So I recently got the computer working again and decided to

> > check out how the group was doing. I was very saddenned to

learn

> > about ; I had to step away for a couple of days.

> >

> > and I had a couple of exchanges about radiation therapy,

> which

> > my husband did not qualify for. He has been continuing the

chemo

> > therapy and was expecting to go into a new clinical trial with

> > Avastin and Erbitux last month. However, after all tests, his

> > bilirubin was too high and he did not qualify. He is now on

what

> > the nurses call " full fury " , i.e. CTP-11, Oxaliplatin, and 5FU.

> The

> > doctor realized he had not been on all 3 at once and that the

CPT-

> 11

> > had not been proven to fail. The tumors have been progressing

> > according to the CT scans, the CEA is up and this past week we

> > discovered that his blood sugar was dangerously high. It was up

in

> > the 600's. We spent two nights at the emergency room, he was

> > finally admitted and now he is on insulin. It was a very

> exhausting

> > week.

> >

> > The high blood sugar is said to have been triggered by the

> Decadron -

> > - the only thing in two years that has worked for the nausea and

> > fatique following chemo. It's the only thing that got us

through

> > the holidays. Due to the hospital visit, he did not get his

second

> > chemo this year. The plan was to get another scan after the

second

> > chemo (after a month of full fury) and then try for the clinical

> > trial again.

> >

> > I am losing hope. I see that things are gradually getting

worse.

> I

> > have sought the help of a psychologist and I just try to get

> through

> > each week the best way that I can.

> >

> > My thoughts are with all of you. By the way, I discoved the

many

> > links of helpful information posted by . Just one of the

many

> > ways that all of his good work will continue to help us.

> >

> >

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Nick and Jane,

I feel such an incredible amount of sorrow for everyone here, for

Kim for Maeve. This is so tough.

I hope you get good results with Avastin. My husband was not able

to get chemo today... blood numbers not good. He hopes to get

Erbitux. I hope that's right. Onc says she will start him on it as

soon as she gets it. I am very thankful for the new drugs. Every

time we think there is nothing else to try something comes available.

> : I have not met you,but today there was so much sorrow,with

Kim losing

> her dad and maeve her husband that I know just what you mean that

you had to

> step away. I guess sometimes we have to go with the flow. We have

been on an

> Avastin study for almost 2 years. They had us stay but the last

two chemo's

> were

> for Oxy,5FU+Lv and no Avastin because he had protein in his urine.

they did a

> blood panel.we get results tomorrow (billirubin and creatinin were

high,CBC

> was Ok but red blood cells down) he has a lot of fatigue and his

legs caved in

> today so we had to sit.

> You have to believe things will get better,and have faith in your

onc and it

> helps if you

> have faith in God. hugs and prayers Nick & Jane

>

>

>

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