Re: ep 2 wks ago - sorry, very long

[Guest guest]

,

Did your dr tell you how long to wait before you start trying again? Mine

said 3 months. I'm just curious how long he told you.

-Carmen

[Guest guest]

You are all so kind!!!

It's nice to read about those of you who have gotten pg again. It gives me

hope and makes me worry a little bit less.

Randi - how many times have you been told " Oh, honey, you're young. " I am so

tired of hearing that. Being young doesn't make it hurt less and it doesn't

mean it won't happen again. How did you find out you needed Clomid? My dr

acts like this is no big deal and doesn't seem to be trying to find a cause

for my ep. Other than that, I was very happy with him so I really don't want

to switch.

-Carmen

[Guest guest]

Hi Carmen,

I am so sorry to read about your ep, but I'm glad you found this

group. I think that you will find it to be a great source of

support, as I have. I think it's amazing that you diagnosed yourself

with having an ep before your dr did!

My ep was last year in September, and I am just beginning to try

again. Like you, I was also pretty far in the pregnancy (7 1/2

weeks). There are so many women here who have gone on to have

healthy uterine pregnancies, so there is a lot of hope for us. In

fact, I think in the past 2 months, at least 5 people on this group

have gotten pg.

Take care of yourself. This was so recent, and you need time to heal

physically and emotionally. It's horrible that it had to happen on

Easter too. Feel free to ask us anything--there is always someone to

respond.

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

I am so very sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart every time

someone new has to introduce themselves to this group, but I am glad

you found us and hope we can be of comfort and support to you.

Ectopic pregnancy is a very difficult thing to deal with as you have

unfortunately had to find out. It makes you fear for you

future...that is completely normal reaction. I know right now it

really doesn't feel like the emotional pain will ever subside, but

honestly with time it does...but time seems to be the only thing that

helps. It never completely goes away but the intensity does fade.

The fear of it happening again, I think stays until you become pg

again with an uterine pregnancy. You asked if anyone has ever gotten

pg again, and YES! they have...within this group alone we have had so

many wonderful success stories. I had my ep in 9/00. I didn't have

to have the big incision...just the belly button surgery, but my left

tube was removed. I found out a week ago today that I am pg and

today I had an ultrasound that confirmed the baby to be in the

uterus. And I am just one of many who have gone on to have uterine

pregnancies after an ectopic.

You also asked " why did this happen? " Well when I got pg in Sept I

was actually still on birth control pills. I have a belief that bcp

can play a role in ectopics, because I had no other risk factors and

I have read literature that says bcp can upset the delicate hormonal

balance necessary for the fertilized egg to make it through the

tube. A lot of drs don't believe this to be true, but since I've

been off bcp for @7months I now have a normal uterine pg...so this

just furthers my belief that those artificial hormones may play havoc

with our bodies more then we could've ever imagined. I'm not trying

to say I am right, but I definately do have a strong opinion about it.

Don't you ever worry about writing too long...you write when you

want, what you want, and we will listen...that's what we are here

for. Be good to yourself and take whatever amount of time you need

to heal.

-AmyR

[Guest guest]

Carmen, first of all, welcome. I am sorry for your

loss. It is definintely painful. You can write as

long as you want. We are all here to listen. I

started with some spotting at about 8 weeks, but my ep

was on my ovary. You were smart to read up on how you

were feeling. Again, I am sorry for your loss, and I

am here to listen to you anytime.

--- carme1ita@... wrote:

> Hello everyone. My name is Carmen and I just had an

> ectopic pregnancy removed 2 weeks ago and I am still

> in shock. I am 22 and have been married 2 years. I

> came off the pill in November and we only did it one

> time that was a possibility of becoming pregnant,

> but unlikely.

> Well, that's all it took. We weren't sure if we were

> ready to try, but once we found out we were pregnant

> we were so excited. We couldn't believe it was so

> easy! My husband immediately told all our friends

> and family. I kept telling him we should go to the

> doctor first but he would just tell me I worry too

> much. I didn't tell him

> right away how much pain I had been in because I

> thought I was just being a wimp. We found out on

> Wed. before Easter that we were pregnant. Because of

> Good Friday I was having a hard time getting an

> appointment scheduled. On Friday I still did not

> have an appointment and was growing more concerned.

> My tummy was growing by the hour, it seemed. We even

> went that night and bought some maternity clothes

> because none of mine fit. After that I went and

> bought a few pregnancy books hoping I would find my

> symptoms and be relieved. I had severe cramping and

> had had a brown discharge for nearly 2 weeks. I was

> 8 weeks pregnant but had not missed a period yet,

> though they had been light. I began to have severe

> pains again that night. The first severe pain was

> Tuesday night and that was the worst pain. It didn't

> matter how I moved, I just could not get

> comfortable. I thought about going to the ER, but

> the car ride would have hurt too much. I fell asleep

> finally wondering what was the matte!

> r. Back to Friday - I was flippi

> ng through one of the books and happened to stumble

> across ectopic pregnancy which I had never heard of.

> Every symptom this book described I had. I went

> cold and pale and knew this was my problem. I showed

> it to my husband (he knew all my complaints

> by this point) and he put me in the car and rushed

> me to ER 11:30 that night. Within 10 minutes I was

> in a room and knew something was serious because I

> had never gone through ER so quickly. They began all

> those horrible tests and we all knew right away that

> it was ectopic. My husband and I were absolutely

> crushed, not to mention

> scared. At 7 am I went into surgery. I felt like I

> was going to have an abortion.My doctor managed to

> save my tube and said there was little damage. I had

> the surgery (laparatomy-sp?) where they cut the

> larger incision (5 in.). The pregnancy was in my

> left tube. We spent our Easter Sunday in the

> hospital and I could not go home until Monday. It

> was another 4 days before the physical

> pain was bearable. I feel like the emotional pain

> will never go away and I am absolutely scared to

> death that this will happen again. My doctor said

> he could find no reason that this happened. He said

> he didn't see any scar tissue or infection or

> blockage or anything so I'm just left wondering why.

> I'm sorry this is so long, but I don't know anybody

> that this has happened to and it's hard for me to

> talk about it without crying. I have so many loving

> friends and family, but I just feel like none of

> them understand. I feel like this baby was taken

> from me against my will even though I know it would

> have

> killed me. I know I'm lucky my tube didn't rupture

> because I was so far along, but I still feel like

> this is all so unfair. I'll stop rambling now and

> thank you for listening.

>

> Has anybody had the same sort of ep? Have you been

> able to get pg again? I am so worried about this

> happening again.

> Carmen

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Carmelita

I had an ectopic pg in August, and your story sounds alot like mine.

Got off the pill, got pregnant, had spotting, had surgery. It was

the worst month of my life. I was approx 9 weeks, so we were pretty

close in timing too. I haven't gotten pg yet, but we have only been

ttc since February. I'm not ovulating now, so I'm going to be going

on Clomid. I hope that you will able to get pregnant as soon as you

are ready. I'm only 20, and I had read that this happens mainly to

older mothers...I no longer believe everything I read.

((HUGS)),

Randi

> Hello everyone. My name is Carmen and I just had an ectopic

pregnancy removed 2 weeks ago and I am still in shock. I am 22 and

have been married 2 years. I came off the pill in November and we

only did it one time that was a possibility of becoming pregnant, but

unlikely.

> Well, that's all it took. We weren't sure if we were ready to try,

but once we found out we were pregnant we were so excited. We

couldn't believe it was so easy! My husband immediately told all our

friends and family. I kept telling him we should go to the doctor

first but he would just tell me I worry too much. I didn't tell him

> right away how much pain I had been in because I thought I was just

being a wimp. We found out on Wed. before Easter that we were

pregnant. Because of Good Friday I was having a hard time getting an

appointment scheduled. On Friday I still did not have an appointment

and was growing more concerned. My tummy was growing by the hour, it

seemed. We even went that night and bought some maternity clothes

because none of mine fit. After that I went and bought a few

pregnancy books hoping I would find my symptoms and be relieved. I

had severe cramping and had had a brown discharge for nearly 2 weeks.

I was 8 weeks pregnant but had not missed a period yet, though they

had been light. I began to have severe pains again that night. The

first severe pain was Tuesday night and that was the worst pain. It

didn't matter how I moved, I just could not get comfortable. I

thought about going to the ER, but the car ride would have hurt too

much. I fell asleep finally wondering what was the matte!

> r. Back to Friday - I was flippi

> ng through one of the books and happened to stumble across ectopic

pregnancy which I had never heard of. Every symptom this book

described I had. I went cold and pale and knew this was my problem. I

showed it to my husband (he knew all my complaints

> by this point) and he put me in the car and rushed me to ER 11:30

that night. Within 10 minutes I was in a room and knew something was

serious because I had never gone through ER so quickly. They began

all those horrible tests and we all knew right away that it was

ectopic. My husband and I were absolutely crushed, not to mention

> scared. At 7 am I went into surgery. I felt like I was going to

have an abortion.My doctor managed to save my tube and said there was

little damage. I had the surgery (laparatomy-sp?) where they cut the

larger incision (5 in.). The pregnancy was in my left tube. We spent

our Easter Sunday in the hospital and I could not go home until

Monday. It was another 4 days before the physical

> pain was bearable. I feel like the emotional pain will never go

away and I am absolutely scared to death that this will happen

again. My doctor said he could find no reason that this happened. He

said he didn't see any scar tissue or infection or blockage or

anything so I'm just left wondering why. I'm sorry this is so long,

but I don't know anybody that this has happened to and it's hard for

me to talk about it without crying. I have so many loving friends and

family, but I just feel like none of them understand. I feel like

this baby was taken from me against my will even though I know it

would have

> killed me. I know I'm lucky my tube didn't rupture because I was so

far along, but I still feel like this is all so unfair. I'll stop

rambling now and thank you for listening.

>

> Has anybody had the same sort of ep? Have you been able to get pg

again? I am so worried about this happening again.

> Carmen

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

I'm so sorry you had to find us. I had an ep last May the first month

my husband and I tried. It was devastating, but this site really

helps. Many, many women go on to have normal pregnancies following an

ep, so try not to worry about that yet, and worry about grieving and

healing yourself form what is a very traumatic experience. I hope you

find some help here. Take care,

Dominique

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

I too hate to see it when a new member joins but only for the fact that it's

shows another woman had to go such trauma. However, since you had need to

find the group you'll be so grateful you did. My EP was in July 2000 and I

had the laporotomy (bikini) surgery. The pain was incredible both physically

and emotionally. I had to wait 3 cycles before TTC. I lost my right tube in

the surgery and had doubts that I would ever be able to get pg. Well I am now

8 weeks 4 days pg with a uterine pg - proof positive that on can beat the

odds.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

I'm so sorry for all that you have been through and are going through. Many

people here understand the feelings you are having. I especially can relate to

the fear of an ectopic pregnancy happening again. I was convinced I wouldn't

ttc for at least several months after my ep was treated with methotrexate in

Feb., but now I'm just about begin to try again. I'm terrifed but on the other

hand, I don't want to spend the rest of my life without a family. I'm 35, so I

have less time than you. You take all the time you need to heal - time's on

your side. Since your tubes looked normal, this was probably just an horrible

chance occurrence and won't happen again.

Terri

carme1ita@... wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is Carmen and I just had an ectopic pregnancy removed 2

weeks ago and I am still in shock. I am 22 and have been married 2 years. I came

off the pill in November and we only did it one time that was a possibility of

becoming pregnant, but unlikely.

Well, that's all it took. We weren't sure if we were ready to try, but once we

found out we were pregnant we were so excited. We couldn't believe it was so

easy! My husband immediately told all our friends and family. I kept telling him

we should go to the doctor first but he would just tell me I worry too much. I

didn't tell him

right away how much pain I had been in because I thought I was just being a

wimp. We found out on Wed. before Easter that we were pregnant. Because of Good

Friday I was having a hard time getting an appointment scheduled. On Friday I

still did not have an appointment and was growing more concerned. My tummy was

growing by the hour, it seemed. We even went that night and bought some

maternity clothes because none of mine fit. After that I went and bought a few

pregnancy books hoping I would find my symptoms and be relieved. I had severe

cramping and had had a brown discharge for nearly 2 weeks. I was 8 weeks

pregnant but had not missed a period yet, though they had been light. I began to

have severe pains again that night. The first severe pain was Tuesday night and

that was the worst pain. It didn't matter how I moved, I just could not get

comfortable. I thought about going to the ER, but the car ride would have hurt

too much. I fell asleep finally wondering what was the matte!

r. Back to Friday - I was flippi

ng through one of the books and happened to stumble across ectopic pregnancy

which I had never heard of. Every symptom this book described I had. I went

cold and pale and knew this was my problem. I showed it to my husband (he knew

all my complaints

by this point) and he put me in the car and rushed me to ER 11:30 that night.

Within 10 minutes I was in a room and knew something was serious because I had

never gone through ER so quickly. They began all those horrible tests and we all

knew right away that it was ectopic. My husband and I were absolutely crushed,

not to mention

scared. At 7 am I went into surgery. I felt like I was going to have an

abortion.My doctor managed to save my tube and said there was little damage. I

had the surgery (laparatomy-sp?) where they cut the larger incision (5 in.). The

pregnancy was in my left tube. We spent our Easter Sunday in the hospital and I

could not go home until Monday. It was another 4 days before the physical

pain was bearable. I feel like the emotional pain will never go away and I am

absolutely scared to death that this will happen again. My doctor said he could

find no reason that this happened. He said he didn't see any scar tissue or

infection or blockage or anything so I'm just left wondering why. I'm sorry this

is so long, but I don't know anybody that this has happened to and it's hard for

me to talk about it without crying. I have so many loving friends and family,

but I just feel like none of them understand. I feel like this baby was taken

from me against my will even though I know it would have

killed me. I know I'm lucky my tube didn't rupture because I was so far along,

but I still feel like this is all so unfair. I'll stop rambling now and thank

you for listening.

Has anybody had the same sort of ep? Have you been able to get pg again? I am so

worried about this happening again.

Carmen

[Guest guest]

Carmen, hello. I am so sorry for your loss but I am glad you found the

wonderful group. As you said, family and friends do not understand. I had my

ep Dec 00 and no one brings it up anymore, like I have just forgotten it, but

there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my baby I lost.

Everything changes from that point on, fear does play a big factor in our life

now when wanted to ttc. You have been though a horrible ordeal but what you are

feeling is very natural. It is extremely scary to think about trying again. I

hope you find some support and help here. I don't know want I would of done

without these great people. After my ep I had all kinds of emotions going on and

didn't know what to do with them. After seeing I was not the only one with these

feelings and that many here where going on and getting pg started to give me

hope. (but the fear is still there) I did have a rupture and lost my rt tube, my

dr recommended a HSG (where they run dye through tubes to see if any blockage)

Did you dr. mention having this test? Not everyone gets it but it does put one's

mind at ease alittle sometimes.

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

I am sooooo sorry for your loss, but glad that you found us. You will find

unbelievable support, understanding, love and lots of info here. These

women are my life-line...

I had an ep last aug. It was my first pg and we were thrilled. I was about

8 weeks pg and ended up losing my right tube....I got pg again this past

Jan..but unfortunetly had a miscarriage.

I (we ) all understand your pain and grief...

Lots of women here have had ep and gone on to have healthy pg and

babies....and some just found out they are pg this month...(lots of hope

here!!)

I know it doesn't seem fair or right, especailly since your baby was so

loved and wanted from the first moment.

It DOES get better..this I promise you... share here whenever you want for

however long you need to...it's what we are here for and we DO understand

everything you are feeling...

I am praying for you...

lisa r

[Guest guest]

carmen,

this is lisa r and I am sure f already answered this, but I thought I

'd jump in!! After my ep, my dr told me to wait 2-3 normal cycles...

lisa r

[Guest guest]

,

My dr never said anything about an hsg, but I have read about it. I am going

to request one when I go for my next post op appt. I'm supposed to schedule

it after I have a period. Do you know if insurance covers this?

I am already starting to feel better during the day but nights are still bad.

-Carmen

[Guest guest]

Dana,

You give me hope!!!!

I had the same surgery you had. Did your dr do internal biodegradable

stitches? I'm wondering when the itching goes away and when this damn tape

will come off. How long did it take to get the feeling back around your

incision and tummy? When does the exhaustion go away? (I know part of my

exhaustion has been due to the fact that I have not been able to sleep). I

was also told to wait 3 cycles and I was lucky enough to keep my tube.

Carmen

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

Just my thoughts...it took me about 3 months to get the feeling back around

the incision. I had 13 metal staples closing my incision that came off 7

days after surgery, then a montgomery strap for almost a month. I had some

complications with an abcess rupturing about 12 days after surgery.

Sometimes the scar still itches and my surgery was 12/08/01. I have found

that every woman has a different experience with every aspect of this

nightmare...I hope you heal quickly physically and that your heart starts to

re-glue itself...that takes longer, it's harder to mend shattered

dreams...take good care today...love KJ

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

I had staples (OUCH!!) in my incision. He pulled off the tape about 1 week

after surgery. The tape was actually blistering my skin and I can still see

the tape marks 9 months later. That tape itched so bad!! I still have some

numbness in certain places around the incision but I think after a couple of

months most of the feeling was back. It was freaky for awhile and I was

afraid it might never come back, but it has gradually. I didn't really have

exhaustion. But I know alot of women do. I think most people begin to get

back to normal about 6 to 8 weeks after major surgery. You are lucky you got

to keep your tube, and 3 cycles will go by quicker than you can imagine.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

If I were you, I'd call the doctor and explain to him/her how severe your

insomnia, etc. are. This is putting a lot of extra stress on your body and

can't be good for healing; perhaps he/she will prescribe something sooner for

you to get you on the right track. I think crying is a good sign...it shows you

are allowing yourself to grieve.

Terri

carme1ita@... wrote:

Dana,

You give me hope!!!!

I had the same surgery you had. Did your dr do internal biodegradable

stitches? I'm wondering when the itching goes away and when this damn tape

will come off. How long did it take to get the feeling back around your

incision and tummy? When does the exhaustion go away? (I know part of my

exhaustion has been due to the fact that I have not been able to sleep). I

was also told to wait 3 cycles and I was lucky enough to keep my tube.

Carmen

[Guest guest]

KJ,

It sounds like you had C-Section! I just had stitches - nothing like what you

had because I sure didn't have staples! Why did they have to do all that??? I

guess I am lucky that my physical recovery happened so fast.

Carmen

[Guest guest]

R-

You have all already helped me more than you will ever know

-Carmen

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 05/04/2001 10:12:13 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

carme1ita@... writes:

<< It sounds like you had C-Section! I just had stitches - nothing like what

you

had because I sure didn't have staples! Why did they have to do all that???

>>

Carmen,

My doctor first went in through the belly button but the baby was too big to

remove that way so he cut me open about an inch higher than a c-section cut.

I don't know why he cut me so big but it took 13 staples to close. I also

had 5 sutures in my belly button that ripped open when the nurses thought I

needed to have my position in the bed changed. (ouch...push morphine drip

button) I was released after 3 days only to be readmitted about 12 days

later when I developed a massive staph infection under the incision. I was

kept another 4 days after the abcess ruptured, it blew out all the healing

that had started leaving me with an open gaping wound...that was the most

disgusting thing I have ever experienced. They let me out 2 days before

Christmas but I had to go back to the hospital every 2 days to have the

incision site repacked. I had a very long physical recovery. It was truly

the worse experience in my life. I was out of work for 6 weeks, bored to

tears, just wishing it would all end somehow...the sorrow eased a bit when I

found this board...having people to talk too who KNEW my pain...it does get

easier...it helps to talk it out...I hope you are having a good night...peace

to you, KJ

[Guest guest]

Carmen,

thanks for saying that I helped you... it feels good to be able to be there

for someone else...these ladies here have given me sooooo much...it feels

great if i can give a little back....

lisa r

[Guest guest]

R,

I dont' know about you, but it feels therapeutic to be able to offer some

advice. It's as if maybe something good came out of this nightmare.

Carmen

[Guest guest]

KJ,

I cannot begin to imagine how your exceptionally difficult physical recovery

made an emotional recovery even more difficult. You must be very brave and

strong to even be able to talk about it. Over the weekend my nights have

become oh so much better.

I hope your recovery continues to go well.

Carmen

[Guest guest]

Dana,

My nurse told me not to ever force my tape - even when it's just barely

hanging on to let it come off by itself. Well, the itching got so bad I said

" screw that! " and took it off in the shower today. I let the water do the

work so it wasn't bad at all. When I saw how bad the scar was I cried and

cried. I know it seems superficial to be upset about something as silly as a

scar, but I feel like it's always going to be such an ugly reminder of what

happened to us.

When dr took off the big bandage covering my incision a couple days after

surgery it took a lot of skin off and hurt like heck!!!!!!!!

The vein that the IV was in is still swollen, 3 weeks later. It really hurts.

They kept running some antibiotic through me that burned like fire. I take

advil and it helps, but I don't want to take it every single day. Has this

happened to anybody else?

Carmen