Re: Hell Part 2: Dealing with parent(s)..

[Guest guest]

Well, Jim, as someone much older than you I can say I remember when I used

to look for support and it wasn't always there. 20+ years of doctors who

actually made me worse in hindsight, not better. Ultimately, you have to

take care of you...and the expectations of your life and what you should or

should not be doing should be your own voice, not what someone else's

expectations are. I learned the hard way. I had a lot of the things most

people would want at a young age, lost it all (health was a big part of it)

and learned some very important lessons along the way about what is really

important in life (and it isn't your house, job, bank account, etc.).

Without your health you have nothing, so it has to be a top priority and you

know your body better than anyone.

If your parents or anyone else close to you doesn't understand or is not

supportive, you have groups like this. I had to stop talking about my health

issues with my family because it just made me feel worse and surrounding

yourself with supportive, positive people is VERY important to healing.

Parents mean well, but if they don't get it, they don't get it.

Cheri

Hell Part 2: Dealing with parent(s)..

" Hell " continues (well, starts..),

Any ideas?

Exasperated,

Jim

.

[Guest guest]

My mother kept saying that Hashimoto's was something I made up for the first

3 years after I was diagnosed. She also said " Isn't it nice to have an

excuse for being fat " ??

Ah, Mothers. Aren't they great?

Tina in CA

>

> Well, Jim, as someone much older than you I can say I remember when I

> used

> to look for support and it wasn't always there. 20+ years of doctors who

> actually made me worse in hindsight, not better. Ultimately, you have to

> take care of you...and the expectations of your life and what you should

> or

> should not be doing should be your own voice, not what someone else's

> expectations are. I learned the hard way. I had a lot of the things most

> people would want at a young age, lost it all (health was a big part of

> it)

> and learned some very important lessons along the way about what is really

> important in life (and it isn't your house, job, bank account, etc.).

> Without your health you have nothing, so it has to be a top priority and

> you

> know your body better than anyone.

>

> If your parents or anyone else close to you doesn't understand or is not

> supportive, you have groups like this. I had to stop talking about my

> health

> issues with my family because it just made me feel worse and surrounding

> yourself with supportive, positive people is VERY important to healing.

> Parents mean well, but if they don't get it, they don't get it.

>

> Cheri

> Hell Part 2: Dealing with parent(s)..

>

> " Hell " continues (well, starts..),

>

> Any ideas?

>

> Exasperated,

> Jim

>

> .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jim,

It sounds like your mother has always reacted that way to your

health info....that when you turn to her for support all you want is

some recognition, some acknowledgement that yeah, you're going through

a tough time. Has she asked you, " Jim, what can I do for you, what do

you want from me? "

If she has not asked that question yet, you can either tell her what

you need from her....or recognize that her criticism is how she

usually reacts to you. If criticism is her consistent behavior--then

that is what you can expect from her.

Can you afford a therapist? They usually help through these things.

The best ones don't accept insurance and have a sliding scale. I

suppose insurance would be the last choice because there is no

confidentiality between you and the insurance company. Managing a

chronic illness is stressful and takes some new adaptation skills. I

certainly am not there yet. I'm too busy researching about my

adrenals and dr. shopping to go therapist shopping.

Tasia

[Guest guest]

Jim,

I hope that when you're parents see you recover, THEN

they will be more inclined to head your advice. This

must be sad for you to endure.

--- Jim Witte wrote:

> " Hell " continues (well, starts..),

>

> I figured I've have a heck of a time finding a

> doctor who would

> listen to a CS test and agree with AF that ISN'T

> 's (yet..),

> and with small physiologic support with cortisol -

> despite the fact

> that it IS the boogy-man of modern medicine,

> *cortisol* (oh,

> scary... [little voice never heard: But only in 1-2

> grams/day dose..]

>

> But how do I deal with my *parents*?

> Specifically my mother - my

> father is in denial about the diabetes I think, or

> tries hard not to

> think about it.. I know, I know, I'm 29, should be

> out in the world,

> probably have invented something like Facebook.com

> by now, have a

> good amount in the bank have ridden the Internet

> bubble correctly,

> and then gotten the hell out.. And oh, I should be

> married too. But

> there are other.. complications.. to my life

> (possibly not limited to

> prior endocrine problems in my life) which have

> intervened, so I

> still live with them..

>

> I told my Mom that I'd started the IsoCort again,

> and was now

> beginning a 6-week taper, was going to get a

> cortisol saliva test 2

> weeks after that. In the meantime, write to the

> local endo who I

> think might be open to helping (wearing my 'diabetes

> researcher hat'

> mostly) - ask to discuss things over coffee some

> night, not an

> expensive office visit. Hey, might work..), and ask

> him to get in

> touch (doctor-to-doctor consultation) with Dr. Rind

> in Washington DC

> who deals with this stuff (correctly IMO).

>

> I'd have thought she be pleased, that I actually

> had a *plan*

> now. But no, she listened, then said with some

> worry, " it sounds

> like you really need someone who knows about this

> stuff - that it's

> not really a do-it-yourself thing.. " Well,

> actually, it IS, and it's

> not too damn hard either - if you have low cortisol,

> you support it

> with HC for 6 months, then re-run the CS test, then

> see if things

> have improved. And see if my Armour drops back down

> to 3/4 or even

> 1/2 gr (or none at all perhaps) If you want a doc

> who does this - Dr

> Rind, maybe Dr Northrup, Dr Bernstein probably

> treats adrenal stuff

> right - or knows who can.. But they are all not

> around here. Maybe

> there's some research expert at IU Med School who

> could be persuaded

> to help.

>

> I think that the horror (of sorts) that I've

> known about all along

> - that autoimmunity spreads, and the T1D *would*

> likely turn into

> other endocrine problems, is starting to dawn on

> her. That it never

> really ends, the uncertainty of it all (which scares

> me more than the

> diabetes really, except maybe the emergence of the

> DP when ALL the b-

> cells are gone). The fact that almost *none* of

> this is " embraced "

> by the major medical profession - making it look

> more like Chinese

> Traditional or Voodoo stuff - only makes it worse.

>

> She did comment that I " seemed " better on the

> Armuor - as if that

> was all. My point is that I *still* think (know?)

> there's

> *something* wrong with my system (I'm not about to

> mention that I

> don't really feel tired until 3 in the morning), and

> I want it

> corrected, if possible. But all the ways I feel

> " wrong " now are

> internal - sleep patterns, energy patterns, caffeine

> craving, salt

> craving (I think), I think worsening depression,

> etc.. And those

> internal things you can't see, and I most people

> don't even think

> about them, or worse even think they exist, or that

> we should just be

> able to " get over them " .

>

> I WILL NOT put up with the crap that this medical

> system seems to

> embrace now - just " get over it " - treat the

> symptoms (high

> cholesterol with drugs, sleep problems with Lunesta

> and/or cofee,

> aches and pains [myalgias probably caused by the

> statins] with Aleve

> or whatever..). Don't try to get to the root cause

> of the problem

> whatever it might be, and do something about that.

> (Little profit to

> the drug companies)

>

> This is made slightly worse by the fact that my

> mom has high

> cholesterol herself, and I think has some form of

> pre-Type II - which

> I think if caught *now*, could be mitigated if not

> totally and maybe

> permanently reversed with diet (mine) and maybe

> insulin if

> necessary. (My dad is in the same boat it seems -

> carb cravings,

> high chol. and .. male problems caused by the vagus

> nerve dying

> away..) But neither will hear me out on any of it,

> regardless of the

> fact that I am the diabetes expert in this family.

>

> Any ideas?

>

> Exasperated,

> Jim

>

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