Re: My Horrible 6 Week Check-Up Experience

[Guest guest]

Jena,

You can do what you want! If you no longer go to the Richmond

program for a check up are they going to take the surgery away from

you? I have heard similar stories about the Richmond program. It is

disheartening to hear that the medical professionals there are

further demoralizing and discriminating against their patients. This

is a personal journey and there is no way we can compare ourselves to

others nor should the docs. Personally, I checked into my PCP for

the bloodwork periodically and didn't do any other follow up with the

bariatric program in SSF. I focused on what I needed to do in order

to learn new habits and found support in the groups in Oakland, San

Leandro and then started the group in Vallejo. This is where I found

the tools I needed to be successful.

You need to find what works for you and surrounding yourself with

positive, helpful energy is one of the first steps to breaking free

of the disease of morbid obesity. There is nothing wrong with

eliminating negativity from your life. By the way, CONGRATULATIONS

on your amazing success. You have obviously figured out what is

working for you. Almost 40 lbs. in 2 months!! That is EXCELLENT.

Stay on this list, we will remind you how well you are doing!

Hugs,

Pat B.

> Hi All,

>

> I was a little reluctant to post this, not sure why, but here goes.

> On Feb. 5, I went in for my 6 week post up appt, which was actually

8

> weeks out from surgery, cuz they didn't have space at the 6 week

> mark. Anyways, so I walked in feeling great about myself. Having

lost

> 37 lbs in 2 months, fitting in to clothes i haven't been able to in

> years. And just seeing an overall smaller person in the mirror.

>

> Well....I walked out feeling like a complete failure, questioning

why

> i did this surgery in the first place. I was told, basically, to

> paraphrase, I'm losing too slowly, eating too much (I eat about 2-4

> oz at meals), and I'm not excercising enough (I ride my bike 5

miles

> a day). So needless to say, I felt really horrible about myself. I

> thought, wow, I thought I was doing so good, but I guess i'm not.

>

> I was really surprised at the way the dr. reacted to my progress

and

> I guess i was a little discouraged. Scratch that, I was ALOT

> discouraged.

>

> Anyways, that was my experience, and I know from past post that

some

> people have left the Richmond program for this reason alone, being

> made to feel like they are failing. So I wanted to know, how did

you

> leave the Richmond program? Can you even do that?

>

> Thanks

> Jena

> Starting weight: 357

> Surgery Day Weight: 321

> Today's Weight 283

> Goal Weight: 130

[Guest guest]

Hi Jena,

Sorry to hear that you had such a disheartening experience.

Other than just criticizing you, did your doctor offer any advice?

(If you don't mind my asking, who was it that gave you such grief?)

I'll confess that every time I go into Kaiser Richmond for my Post-Op

Class or a follow-up with the doctor, I'm always afraid that I'm going

to be told that I'm a failure. So far, it hasn't happened . . . but

my basic insecurities still haunt me. I can only imagine how crushing

it would be . . .

I'm impressed that you are biking 5 miles a day. I've been trying

to ride my stationary recumbent bike every day (and was doing pretty good

until a cold kinda side-tracked me for a few days) and I'm still not up

to 5 miles. Four is the best I've managed (and since not biking for

a few days, I'm back to 2 miles . . . sigh).

I have no idea how you leave the program . . . no experience with that.

A number of folks have mentioned having problems with the Richmond staff

being discouraging. I wish we could get them to be more supportive.

Please, don't get down on yourself. Listen more to what your body

is telling you (more energy, more ability, smaller sizes and so on) than

to any discouraging words.

All the best,

Kay

open RNY 12/1/03

jena_mcdowell wrote:

Hi All,

I was a little reluctant to post this, not sure why, but here goes.

On Feb. 5, I went in for my 6 week post up appt, which was actually

8

weeks out from surgery, cuz they didn't have space at the 6 week

mark. Anyways, so I walked in feeling great about myself. Having

lost

37 lbs in 2 months, fitting in to clothes i haven't been able to

in

years. And just seeing an overall smaller person in the mirror.

Well....I walked out feeling like a complete failure, questioning

why

i did this surgery in the first place. I was told, basically, to

paraphrase, I'm losing too slowly, eating too much (I eat about

2-4

oz at meals), and I'm not excercising enough (I ride my bike 5

miles

a day). So needless to say, I felt really horrible about myself.

I

thought, wow, I thought I was doing so good, but I guess i'm not.

I was really surprised at the way the dr. reacted to my progress

and

I guess i was a little discouraged. Scratch that, I was ALOT

discouraged.

Anyways, that was my experience, and I know from past post that

some

people have left the Richmond program for this reason alone, being

made to feel like they are failing. So I wanted to know, how did

you

leave the Richmond program? Can you even do that?

Thanks

Jena

Starting weight: 357

Surgery Day Weight: 321

Today's Weight 283

Goal Weight: 130

[Guest guest]

I wanted to thank you guys for your encouraging words!!

Kay, surprisingly, no advice was offered, he said " Hmm, you are

losing alot slower than I expected you to lose " . As far as how much

to eat, he just told me what i was eating was too much and that I

just needed to excercise more than I was.

>

> > Hi All,

> >

> > I was a little reluctant to post this, not sure why, but

> > here goes.

> > On Feb. 5, I went in for my 6 week post up appt, which was

> > actually 8

> > weeks out from surgery, cuz they didn't have space at the

> > 6 week

> > mark. Anyways, so I walked in feeling great about myself.

> > Having lost

> > 37 lbs in 2 months, fitting in to clothes i haven't been

> > able to in

> > years. And just seeing an overall smaller person in the

> > mirror.

> >

> > Well....I walked out feeling like a complete failure,

> > questioning why

> > i did this surgery in the first place. I was told,

> > basically, to

> > paraphrase, I'm losing too slowly, eating too much (I eat

> > about 2-4

> > oz at meals), and I'm not excercising enough (I ride my

> > bike 5 miles

> > a day). So needless to say, I felt really horrible about

> > myself. I

> > thought, wow, I thought I was doing so good, but I guess

> > i'm not.

> >

> > I was really surprised at the way the dr. reacted to my

> > progress and

> > I guess i was a little discouraged. Scratch that, I was

> > ALOT

> > discouraged.

> >

> > Anyways, that was my experience, and I know from past post

> > that some

> > people have left the Richmond program for this reason

> > alone, being

> > made to feel like they are failing. So I wanted to know,

> > how did you

> > leave the Richmond program? Can you even do that?

> >

> > Thanks

> > Jena

> > Starting weight: 357

> > Surgery Day Weight: 321

> > Today's Weight 283

> > Goal Weight: 130

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

Jena:

I'm glad you turned to us for support. There is no reason that you

should feel like a failure. I had a similar experience at Kaiser

Richmond and now my PCP takes care of my progress. I'm lucky because

she is wonderful. She and I know that I am a success.

I didn't ask ANYONE's permission to leave the Richmond program. In

fact no one has followed up with me, which is fine by me since I'm

doing great! Like Pat said, what are they gonna do? Undo my bypass?

However, there have been times when I've needed support so... I turn

to this group, another support group in San Leandro, and I also turn

to Kaiser SSF for the " mind-body-spirit connection " stuff. Dr Gity,

who leads that Tuesday drop-in support group is GREAT, in my

opinion. She is (I believe) a psychologist who knows about our

issues and gives positive and helpful information that helps us deal

with our demons. She also facilitates our process of allowing

ourselves to embrace our new lives and successes. It's a DROP-IN

group that is open to all Kaiser Patients and their support people.

And if I were to get into deeper trouble (God forbid) I'd call my PCP

and have her refer me to a counselor (I've not needed that, but

wouldn't rule it out).

Now, I'm in control of my health care. I'm my case manager. I make

sure that my needs get met. I make sure that I eat right. I make

sure that I exercise and get in my water/liquids.

I used to be so sheepish about advocating for me, but not anymore.

That's one thing that this process/journey has taught me. I'm my own

best friend, and I can take care of myself (with a little love,

encouragement and support here and there).

Remember that you are indeed a success!! No negative self-talk.

Just please get past those bad feelings, and remember that you have

our support and you have YOU! Keep going with your great progess and

don't look back. Let us know how you're doing.

Francisco

06/03/03

Kaiser Richmond

-124 lbs

> Hi All,

>

> I was a little reluctant to post this, not sure why, but here goes.

> On Feb. 5, I went in for my 6 week post up appt, which was actually

8

> weeks out from surgery, cuz they didn't have space at the 6 week

> mark. Anyways, so I walked in feeling great about myself. Having

lost

> 37 lbs in 2 months, fitting in to clothes i haven't been able to in

> years. And just seeing an overall smaller person in the mirror.

>

> Well....I walked out feeling like a complete failure, questioning

why

> i did this surgery in the first place. I was told, basically, to

> paraphrase, I'm losing too slowly, eating too much (I eat about 2-4

> oz at meals), and I'm not excercising enough (I ride my bike 5

miles

> a day). So needless to say, I felt really horrible about myself. I

> thought, wow, I thought I was doing so good, but I guess i'm not.

>

> I was really surprised at the way the dr. reacted to my progress

and

> I guess i was a little discouraged. Scratch that, I was ALOT

> discouraged.

>

> Anyways, that was my experience, and I know from past post that

some

> people have left the Richmond program for this reason alone, being

> made to feel like they are failing. So I wanted to know, how did

you

> leave the Richmond program? Can you even do that?

>

> Thanks

> Jena

> Starting weight: 357

> Surgery Day Weight: 321

> Today's Weight 283

> Goal Weight: 130

[Guest guest]

Oh Jena,

I'm so sorry you had such a downer experience, and unfortunately, as you

know, you are not alone. I know there is at least one surgeon at

Richmond who has apparently never heard of hibernation (an EXTREMELY

common plateau), or at least doesn't believe in it. It's always the

patient's fault!

I personally have a great PCP, who is willing to work with me. I gave

her a list of lab tests I wanted followed every three months, and she

has given me a standing order for that. That means that I just walk into

the lab, and they pull it up on the computer. They are sending me

copies, so I can keep track of them myself, and catch any downward

trends before they become a problem.

I do STRONGLY recommend that you get involved with at least one support

group, and I don't just mean the post-op class at Richmond!

How did I personally leave the Richmond program? I met with Chris

, and discussed my dissatisfaction with the situation. I stated

that I did not think I would be returning to the surgeon, and probably

not to the program itself. She asked me to come in periodically to be

weighed. My response was basically " Yeah, I'll think about it. " Once you

have left the program, they can't undo your surgery, obviously. You do

have to make sure you get adequate support and information from other

sources. You have to be the informed consumer, because it is YOUR body,

and YOUR responsibility. I know, you already know that.

BTW, I apologize for not responding to your post earlier. I'm doing

taxes for Block, and right now I have over 5000(!) messages in my inbox,

but that's just the inbox relating to the Yahoo groups. So if you want

to correspond privately, I do respond much more quickly to message sent

to my personal address, which is eleanor@.... I can tell you

what has worked for me, keeping in mind that I am not a medical person.

I have, however, done a lot of research, and know of a lot of different

resources. Do feel free to contact me off the group (and anyone else who

wants to), but do put the word " Richmond " in the subject line, so I know

it isn't spam. I've been swamped with spam lately.

Yeah, they probably consider me a failure, but to my mind, I am NOT. Am

I doing everything I should? No. Am I healthier, happier, and more

active than I have ever been? Yes. Am I fitting into clothing sizes I

cannot ever remember wearing before? Yes. Do I have more energy than I

have in at least twenty years? Yes. Am I going back to Richmond? I don't

need them. I personally do not feel they have anything to offer me, and

they aren't interested in anything I have to offer them, so no, I will

not be going back.

Hang in there! Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your

consent, and no one can make you feel like a failure either! Do what you

know you should (exercise, vitamins, water, eating right), and you WILL

succeed!

Eleanor

jena_mcdowell wrote:

> Hi All,

>

> I was a little reluctant to post this, not sure why, but here goes.

> On Feb. 5, I went in for my 6 week post up appt, which was actually 8

> weeks out from surgery, cuz they didn't have space at the 6 week mark.

> Anyways, so I walked in feeling great about myself. Having lost 37 lbs

> in 2 months, fitting in to clothes i haven't been able to in years.

> And just seeing an overall smaller person in the mirror.

>

> Well....I walked out feeling like a complete failure, questioning why

> i did this surgery in the first place. I was told, basically, to

> paraphrase, I'm losing too slowly, eating too much (I eat about 2-4 oz

> at meals), and I'm not excercising enough (I ride my bike 5 miles a

> day). So needless to say, I felt really horrible about myself. I

> thought, wow, I thought I was doing so good, but I guess i'm not.

> I was really surprised at the way the dr. reacted to my progress and I

> guess i was a little discouraged. Scratch that, I was ALOT discouraged.

> Anyways, that was my experience, and I know from past post that some

> people have left the Richmond program for this reason alone, being

> made to feel like they are failing. So I wanted to know, how did you

> leave the Richmond program? Can you even do that?

> Thanks

> Jena

> Starting weight: 357

> Surgery Day Weight: 321

> Today's Weight 283

> Goal Weight: 130

--

Eleanor Oster

eleanor@... (personal address)

www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

Berkeley, CA

Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

Kaiser Richmond (CA)

P. Fisher, M.D.

05/09/2003 319 Orientation

07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

02/14/2004 <200 Current

Goal 140