Re: My mother, Joyce Scaduto

[Guest guest]

Debbie, mothers are so special, and we're sure your mom will always have a

special place in your heart and in your memories. Our Love and Prayers are

with you in this time of sorrow. Ned and Judy B.

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I am so sorry to hear of your mothers passing. You were so kind to share your

story and feelings with us. Tomorrow when you don't know how you are going

to make it through the day, keep in mind that someone in Arizona will be

doing a kindness for someone else in memory of your mother Joyce.

With love, Phoenix

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie,

We are so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Thank you for sharing her

story with us. You are so right that we always wonder exactly what did take

place when a death occurs on this list.

I can feel the incredible loss that you are feeling and will honor your

request in memory of your mother. We can never do a kindness too soon for we

never know when it might be too late.

Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Much love,

& Chrissie

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie: Bob & I wish to extend our deepest sympathy to you. We are

very touched by the loss of your mother. We will keep you in our

prayers. jerrie & bob

[Guest guest]

It is with unbearable sorrow that I tell this family that my mother Joyce

Scaduto died on Sunday. She was 71 and was diagnosed with PD 2/97 and later

with striatonigral degeneration 9/98. We buried her today.

Whenever I read about a death on this list, it seems so sudden and I always

wonder what happened. So I am going to tell you what happened. My mother

entered the hosptial on Friday night with severe abdominal pain. She was

badly impacted and they put tubes down her nose to clean her out. They also

gave her fluids for scans, etc. Around 9:00 that evening, the doctor was in

her room when the nose tube became dislodged, she vomited the fluids in her,

aspirated them, and went into immediate cardiac arrest. Because her DNR

orders were not there, they resuscitated her. When we arrived Sunday (the

hospital tried unsuccesfully to reach my dad Sat. night so we didn't know

about this until my sister called to check on my mom Sun. a.m.) she was on a

respirator and they didn't think she'd even last the day on it. She was

completely unresponsive. Her blood pressure was around 18. We released her

at 4:30 that day.

I made it to the hospital one hour before we turned off the respirator. I

was able to hold her and kiss her and talk to her for one hour and I said

everything I needed to. I told her that she could try to squeeze my hand if

she wanted to show she heard. But she didn't. There was no indication at

all. When they took the tube out of her mouth, and the numbers of the

monitor slowly dropped, at the moment of death (we could tell only from the

monitor), she squeezed my hand so hard I could not let go, a tear fell from

her right eye, and she mouthed the word " love " and then she shut her mouth.

I do not know how it was possible for her to do this when the difference

between her living and dying that that time was detectable only by the

monitor. She was surrounded by her family and all of her friends were there,

too -- they had been since the morning.

There was so much more to my mother than this disease, and I swore that when

this day came I wouldn't remember her with this disease. But that is how she

left us and that is who I ended up loving, too. I love the smudged glasses

I was always cleaning for her, and the straws in cups, and the stained

carpet, and the small bowl of applesauce in the refrigerator for pill

taking.

I loved my mother. I can deal with this right now, but I don't know how I'll

do it tomorrow. No one here can remember her because you didn't know her,

but please honor her by turning a moment of frustration into an exchange of

kindness tonight. Love, Debbie

Debbie White

dwhite@...

>

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

Rob and I are so sorry to hear about your mother. Your letter is

beautiful, and I will take what you say to heart. Your mother must

have been a wondeful woman; she raised a very special daughter.

Love,

Carol and Rob

> It is with unbearable sorrow that I tell this family that my mother

Joyce

> Scaduto died on Sunday. She was 71 and was diagnosed with PD 2/97

and later

> with striatonigral degeneration 9/98. We buried her today.

>

> Whenever I read about a death on this list, it seems so sudden and

I always

> wonder what happened. So I am going to tell you what happened. My

mother

> entered the hosptial on Friday night with severe abdominal pain.

She was

> badly impacted and they put tubes down her nose to clean her out.

They also

> gave her fluids for scans, etc. Around 9:00 that evening, the

doctor was in

> her room when the nose tube became dislodged, she vomited the

fluids in her,

> aspirated them, and went into immediate cardiac arrest. Because her

DNR

> orders were not there, they resuscitated her. When we arrived

Sunday (the

> hospital tried unsuccesfully to reach my dad Sat. night so we

didn't know

> about this until my sister called to check on my mom Sun. a.m.) she

was on a

> respirator and they didn't think she'd even last the day on it. She

was

> completely unresponsive. Her blood pressure was around 18. We

released her

> at 4:30 that day.

>

> I made it to the hospital one hour before we turned off the

respirator. I

> was able to hold her and kiss her and talk to her for one hour and

I said

> everything I needed to. I told her that she could try to squeeze my

hand if

> she wanted to show she heard. But she didn't. There was no

indication at

> all. When they took the tube out of her mouth, and the numbers of

the

> monitor slowly dropped, at the moment of death (we could tell only

from the

> monitor), she squeezed my hand so hard I could not let go, a tear

fell from

> her right eye, and she mouthed the word " love " and then she shut

her mouth.

> I do not know how it was possible for her to do this when the

difference

> between her living and dying that that time was detectable only by

the

> monitor. She was surrounded by her family and all of her friends

were there,

> too -- they had been since the morning.

>

>

> There was so much more to my mother than this disease, and I swore

that when

> this day came I wouldn't remember her with this disease. But that

is how she

> left us and that is who I ended up loving, too. I love the smudged

glasses

> I was always cleaning for her, and the straws in cups, and the

stained

> carpet, and the small bowl of applesauce in the refrigerator for

pill

> taking.

>

>

> I loved my mother. I can deal with this right now, but I don't know

how I'll

> do it tomorrow. No one here can remember her because you didn't

know her,

> but please honor her by turning a moment of frustration into an

exchange of

> kindness tonight. Love, Debbie

>

>

>

> Debbie White

>

> dwhite@n...

> >

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie,

My heart is feeling your pain. I have you and yours in my prayers.

You have a beautiful way of honoring your mother by asking to exchange a

moment of frustration for kindness. Only the daughter of a great woman

would know to express herself in that way.

Love,

jane

RE: My mother, Joyce Scaduto

> It is with unbearable sorrow that I tell this family that my mother Joyce

> Scaduto died on Sunday. She was 71 and was diagnosed with PD 2/97 and

later

> with striatonigral degeneration 9/98. We buried her today.

>

> Whenever I read about a death on this list, it seems so sudden and I

always

> wonder what happened. So I am going to tell you what happened. My mother

> entered the hosptial on Friday night with severe abdominal pain. She was

> badly impacted and they put tubes down her nose to clean her out. They

also

> gave her fluids for scans, etc. Around 9:00 that evening, the doctor was

in

> her room when the nose tube became dislodged, she vomited the fluids in

her,

> aspirated them, and went into immediate cardiac arrest. Because her DNR

> orders were not there, they resuscitated her. When we arrived Sunday (the

> hospital tried unsuccesfully to reach my dad Sat. night so we didn't know

> about this until my sister called to check on my mom Sun. a.m.) she was on

a

> respirator and they didn't think she'd even last the day on it. She was

> completely unresponsive. Her blood pressure was around 18. We released her

> at 4:30 that day.

>

> I made it to the hospital one hour before we turned off the respirator. I

> was able to hold her and kiss her and talk to her for one hour and I said

> everything I needed to. I told her that she could try to squeeze my hand

if

> she wanted to show she heard. But she didn't. There was no indication at

> all. When they took the tube out of her mouth, and the numbers of the

> monitor slowly dropped, at the moment of death (we could tell only from

the

> monitor), she squeezed my hand so hard I could not let go, a tear fell

from

> her right eye, and she mouthed the word " love " and then she shut her

mouth.

> I do not know how it was possible for her to do this when the difference

> between her living and dying that that time was detectable only by the

> monitor. She was surrounded by her family and all of her friends were

there,

> too -- they had been since the morning.

>

>

> There was so much more to my mother than this disease, and I swore that

when

> this day came I wouldn't remember her with this disease. But that is how

she

> left us and that is who I ended up loving, too. I love the smudged

glasses

> I was always cleaning for her, and the straws in cups, and the stained

> carpet, and the small bowl of applesauce in the refrigerator for pill

> taking.

>

>

> I loved my mother. I can deal with this right now, but I don't know how

I'll

> do it tomorrow. No one here can remember her because you didn't know her,

> but please honor her by turning a moment of frustration into an exchange

of

> kindness tonight. Love, Debbie

>

>

>

> Debbie White

>

> dwhite@...

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

We are so terribly sorry to hear of your loss of your Mother. Our prayers

are with you.

RE: My mother, Joyce Scaduto

> It is with unbearable sorrow that I tell this family that my mother Joyce

> Scaduto died on Sunday. She was 71 and was diagnosed with PD 2/97 and

later

> with striatonigral degeneration 9/98. We buried her today.

>

> Whenever I read about a death on this list, it seems so sudden and I

always

> wonder what happened. So I am going to tell you what happened. My mother

> entered the hosptial on Friday night with severe abdominal pain. She was

> badly impacted and they put tubes down her nose to clean her out. They

also

> gave her fluids for scans, etc. Around 9:00 that evening, the doctor was

in

> her room when the nose tube became dislodged, she vomited the fluids in

her,

> aspirated them, and went into immediate cardiac arrest. Because her DNR

> orders were not there, they resuscitated her. When we arrived Sunday (the

> hospital tried unsuccesfully to reach my dad Sat. night so we didn't know

> about this until my sister called to check on my mom Sun. a.m.) she was on

a

> respirator and they didn't think she'd even last the day on it. She was

> completely unresponsive. Her blood pressure was around 18. We released her

> at 4:30 that day.

>

> I made it to the hospital one hour before we turned off the respirator. I

> was able to hold her and kiss her and talk to her for one hour and I said

> everything I needed to. I told her that she could try to squeeze my hand

if

> she wanted to show she heard. But she didn't. There was no indication at

> all. When they took the tube out of her mouth, and the numbers of the

> monitor slowly dropped, at the moment of death (we could tell only from

the

> monitor), she squeezed my hand so hard I could not let go, a tear fell

from

> her right eye, and she mouthed the word " love " and then she shut her

mouth.

> I do not know how it was possible for her to do this when the difference

> between her living and dying that that time was detectable only by the

> monitor. She was surrounded by her family and all of her friends were

there,

> too -- they had been since the morning.

>

>

> There was so much more to my mother than this disease, and I swore that

when

> this day came I wouldn't remember her with this disease. But that is how

she

> left us and that is who I ended up loving, too. I love the smudged

glasses

> I was always cleaning for her, and the straws in cups, and the stained

> carpet, and the small bowl of applesauce in the refrigerator for pill

> taking.

>

>

> I loved my mother. I can deal with this right now, but I don't know how

I'll

> do it tomorrow. No one here can remember her because you didn't know her,

> but please honor her by turning a moment of frustration into an exchange

of

> kindness tonight. Love, Debbie

>

>

>

> Debbie White

>

> dwhite@...

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Bless your heart ... I am so sorry ....

sheila

[Guest guest]

I join the others in saying that my thoughts and prayers are with you and

your family. My mother died at 70 of a heart attack. That was a great loss

to me as I am sure that your loss is great.

Thank you for sharing the details with us. We need to know what to expect

or even consider that might happen to our family member.

I am thinking of you.

Marilyn in TN

----------

[Guest guest]

Debbie, you and your family have my sincere sympathies and prayers on the

death of your mother. Your note is a clear testament to your love for one

another. May the Creator of that love support and sustain you.

Regards,

=jbf=

B. Fisher

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie,

You wrote a beautiful tribute to your mother, and gave us all something to

live by.

I will try turning frustration into an exchange for kindness.

If everyone could do that, the world would be a much better place.

Prayers and love, S.

[Guest guest]

God bless you...

--- Strong wrote:

> Debbie,

> We are so terribly sorry to hear of your loss of

> your Mother. Our prayers

> are with you.

>

> RE: My mother, Joyce Scaduto

>

>

> > It is with unbearable sorrow that I tell this

> family that my mother Joyce

> > Scaduto died on Sunday. She was 71 and was

> diagnosed with PD 2/97 and

> later

> > with striatonigral degeneration 9/98. We buried

> her today.

> >

> > Whenever I read about a death on this list, it

> seems so sudden and I

> always

> > wonder what happened. So I am going to tell you

> what happened. My mother

> > entered the hosptial on Friday night with severe

> abdominal pain. She was

> > badly impacted and they put tubes down her nose to

> clean her out. They

> also

> > gave her fluids for scans, etc. Around 9:00 that

> evening, the doctor was

> in

> > her room when the nose tube became dislodged, she

> vomited the fluids in

> her,

> > aspirated them, and went into immediate cardiac

> arrest. Because her DNR

> > orders were not there, they resuscitated her. When

> we arrived Sunday (the

> > hospital tried unsuccesfully to reach my dad Sat.

> night so we didn't know

> > about this until my sister called to check on my

> mom Sun. a.m.) she was on

> a

> > respirator and they didn't think she'd even last

> the day on it. She was

> > completely unresponsive. Her blood pressure was

> around 18. We released her

> > at 4:30 that day.

> >

> > I made it to the hospital one hour before we

> turned off the respirator. I

> > was able to hold her and kiss her and talk to her

> for one hour and I said

> > everything I needed to. I told her that she could

> try to squeeze my hand

> if

> > she wanted to show she heard. But she didn't.

> There was no indication at

> > all. When they took the tube out of her mouth, and

> the numbers of the

> > monitor slowly dropped, at the moment of death (we

> could tell only from

> the

> > monitor), she squeezed my hand so hard I could not

> let go, a tear fell

> from

> > her right eye, and she mouthed the word " love " and

> then she shut her

> mouth.

> > I do not know how it was possible for her to do

> this when the difference

> > between her living and dying that that time was

> detectable only by the

> > monitor. She was surrounded by her family and all

> of her friends were

> there,

> > too -- they had been since the morning.

> >

> >

> > There was so much more to my mother than this

> disease, and I swore that

> when

> > this day came I wouldn't remember her with this

> disease. But that is how

> she

> > left us and that is who I ended up loving, too. I

> love the smudged

> glasses

> > I was always cleaning for her, and the straws in

> cups, and the stained

> > carpet, and the small bowl of applesauce in the

> refrigerator for pill

> > taking.

> >

> >

> > I loved my mother. I can deal with this right now,

> but I don't know how

> I'll

> > do it tomorrow. No one here can remember her

> because you didn't know her,

> > but please honor her by turning a moment of

> frustration into an exchange

> of

> > kindness tonight. Love, Debbie

> >

> >

> >

> > Debbie White

> >

> > dwhite@...

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

We are sorry to hear of your loss. Remember that your mother is

in a better place now. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Hugs, Bill and Charlotte

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie White: So Sorry to hear of the death of your dear Mother, Joyce

Scaduto. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and all your family. Thank

you for sharing with us your experiences and caring. God Bless You. LOVE,

PAT AND BOB FROM FRAMINGHAM MA

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry Debbie . . .

[Guest guest]

Debbie - I am so very sorry. I remember when Dad died I couldn't imagine life

without him - he was such a wonderful, kind, special person who was loved so

much by so many. But it is these good life-long, life-shaping memories that do

help us to carry on - and, six years later, we can again laugh at things as Dad

would. You will get to that point, but my heart goes out to you in your

tremendous grief.

Your letter was so very meaningful and full of love - here in Santa Barbara,

someone will also get extra special attention and an extra dose of love because

of you. Thank you and God Bless you.

Elaine Grimmesey

>>> 11/08/00 07:26PM >>>

Debbie,

I am so sorry to hear of your mothers passing. You were so kind to share your

story and feelings with us. Tomorrow when you don't know how you are going

to make it through the day, keep in mind that someone in Arizona will be

doing a kindness for someone else in memory of your mother Joyce.

With love, Phoenix

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie,

I wanted to tell you that you and your family are in my thoughts and

prayers. I am so impressed by the strength you have and the strength of the

love between you and your mother; it's very inspirational for all of us. I

hope that in the days ahead you will be able to remember your mom without

this disease, as you mentioned, and that the strength of the love you shared

with her will help you through the sad times. Smiles and hugs, Diane

RE: My mother, Joyce Scaduto

> It is with unbearable sorrow that I tell this family that my mother Joyce

> Scaduto died on Sunday. She was 71 and was diagnosed with PD 2/97 and

later

> with striatonigral degeneration 9/98. We buried her today.

>

> Whenever I read about a death on this list, it seems so sudden and I

always

> wonder what happened. So I am going to tell you what happened. My mother

> entered the hosptial on Friday night with severe abdominal pain. She was

> badly impacted and they put tubes down her nose to clean her out. They

also

> gave her fluids for scans, etc. Around 9:00 that evening, the doctor was

in

> her room when the nose tube became dislodged, she vomited the fluids in

her,

> aspirated them, and went into immediate cardiac arrest. Because her DNR

> orders were not there, they resuscitated her. When we arrived Sunday (the

> hospital tried unsuccesfully to reach my dad Sat. night so we didn't know

> about this until my sister called to check on my mom Sun. a.m.) she was on

a

> respirator and they didn't think she'd even last the day on it. She was

> completely unresponsive. Her blood pressure was around 18. We released her

> at 4:30 that day.

>

> I made it to the hospital one hour before we turned off the respirator. I

> was able to hold her and kiss her and talk to her for one hour and I said

> everything I needed to. I told her that she could try to squeeze my hand

if

> she wanted to show she heard. But she didn't. There was no indication at

> all. When they took the tube out of her mouth, and the numbers of the

> monitor slowly dropped, at the moment of death (we could tell only from

the

> monitor), she squeezed my hand so hard I could not let go, a tear fell

from

> her right eye, and she mouthed the word " love " and then she shut her

mouth.

> I do not know how it was possible for her to do this when the difference

> between her living and dying that that time was detectable only by the

> monitor. She was surrounded by her family and all of her friends were

there,

> too -- they had been since the morning.

>

>

> There was so much more to my mother than this disease, and I swore that

when

> this day came I wouldn't remember her with this disease. But that is how

she

> left us and that is who I ended up loving, too. I love the smudged

glasses

> I was always cleaning for her, and the straws in cups, and the stained

> carpet, and the small bowl of applesauce in the refrigerator for pill

> taking.

>

>

> I loved my mother. I can deal with this right now, but I don't know how

I'll

> do it tomorrow. No one here can remember her because you didn't know her,

> but please honor her by turning a moment of frustration into an exchange

of

> kindness tonight. Love, Debbie

>

>

>

> Debbie White

>

> dwhite@...

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am so terribly sorry that you lost your mom. You must have loved

her a great deal. I wish I could say some magic words that would

make you feel better right now. However, there are none - all I can

say is that I feel a lot of pain for you. You must really hurt.

Thank you for sharing those last moments though. It makes me more

determined than ever to educate others about this horrible demon that

comes to so many. May your mom be at peace now - she deserves to be

happy and free from pain.

Be strong,

Donna Waggoner

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My thoughts and prayers are

with you.

[Guest guest]

Debbie:

I can truly feel your pain and the love for your Mother in your message.

She raised quite a special, caring daughter. While it's never easy to

lose someone we love, know that she is now happy and healthy and in a

much better place. She is with you all of the time now. And, she will

give you the strength to get thru this very trying time.

My sister also was freed from this disease 2 yrs. ago. We all still

really miss her.

My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Carole Barber.

________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Debbie

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you face the

comings months.

Sally

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

I remember you talking about your mother. My love and prayers are for you

and your family.

Liz IN El Centro)

[Guest guest]

Dear Debbie:

I have read your wonderful caring notes about your mother for a long time, and I know how sad you must be now. But she had your presence and your love during her very difficult struggle, and now she is at peace. You have given her as much as a daughter ever could, and I know that your memories will always be with you to sustain you.

Love, Barbara