Guest guest Posted February 14, 2000 Report Share Posted February 14, 2000 Sue, this is a very good letter to and a good one to us, too. Thanks. Love and God Bless, Ronnie In a message dated 2/14/2000 7:17:06 AM Pacific Standard Time, SUE7RN@... writes: << Dear , Unfortunately you are in a very difficult position.... When we " lose " something whether it be a person, an object, or even our HEALTH.... We all handle it differently... and go through what the professionals call a GRIEVING PROCESS.... it's very normal and predictable. Different people move through the process at different rates. Some people actually never resolve the grief and complete the process.... they get " stuck " in a step of the process. Individuals experience feelings of helplessness, loneliness, hopelessness, anger, sadness, and guilt. The frequency and duration of these responses depend onseveral factors including: the amount of support received from the lost object, the degree of ambivalence toward the lost object, Anticipitory preparation, EXTENT TO WHICH THE LOSS ALTERS LIFE STYLE, and other supportive relationships available. Basically, in your mom's position...... I'm sure she feels like she has lost something very significant.... cause she has..... HER HEALTH.... and the old common saying... YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR WEALTH!!!!!!!!!!! How well we all know this! This is a great loss. It was not what she wanted from life and it's there every waking moment reminding her.... She has NO CONTROL over her life.... the only control she has is how she reacts to this disease.... and quite frankly... It will take a while for her to gain that insight.... and even then it wqill get lost from time to time as we have all experienced. Also from what you have spoke of her support systems may not be very intact at this time. That's where we come in to play.... You don't know how your mom feels really.... you try but you really don't know... And people tend to belittle you whne trying to make you feel better, not intentionally of course. The grieving process basically begins with DENIAL..... you know your mom and I don't so maybe you need to determine where she is in accepting that she has RP and how this is altering her life. It is common for people to just pretend that they don't have the illness just because they don't or can't emotionally and/or mentally deal with it.... It's toooooooooo scary!. Some people become extremely depressed, don't talk about....they're impossible, they don't care for themselves, they don't make sense.... They are coping the only way they know how or can at the moment... Next is a stage of emotions..... usually in extremes..... ANGER is the most typical.... people are very angry about WHY??????? especially WHY ME????? and I think that we all still move in and out of that one over the course of time with this illness! I know I was VERY angry. Next is the stage of ACCEPTANCE..... accepting that you have RP will be a big step for your MOM! She will them begin to take care of herself and seek help even for her mental health.... she will probably need help to get there though. Things may get worse before they get better. The toughest part that you will have to deal with.... Only your MOM can help herself... Only she can change her attitude. You can continue to try and help her see that... you can continue to provide her with support and information.... It will be hard.... The doctors had most of us thinking that we were nuts before we were diagnosed..... because there isn't a test to specifically prove that " I have RP " , as you know it's a set of symptoms and some biopsies of cartilage tissue that are utilized in diagnosis. You need to provide information and support to your MOM and lots of prayers that she will begin to see and understand that there is help out there! Once she ACCEPTs this she will doo better per se`. It's a tough disease !!!!!!!!!!!! As she resolves(the last phase of the grieving process) it in her mind she will do better. I know I still regress sometimes... I have accepted my diagnosis and resolved the changes in my lifestyle.... but I sometimes continue to get frustrated and angry and ask that question why me? and why can't I go into remission..... WHY.... WHY???? WHY??? Being informed is probably the strongest tool that you can have.... so arm yourself with all the knowledge you can get! Hang in there .... Your mom needs you! I'm sure she's just sooooo scared.... Don't be too tough on her but tough enough.... If you get my drift! Take care, SUE >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2000 Report Share Posted February 14, 2000 Sue...That was a great letter to , sometthin we all needed to read...Thanks! Lu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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