Re: Tim and Barbara and JB about thinking things through..etc

[Guest guest]

JoAnn,

Thanks!

is a something else! One in a million!

Hope all is well with you and your family!

Tim

> > > Have not given this thought and just read some of what you 3

have

> > written of how you deal with life and emotions and reactions to

what

> > is dealt you or not deal with it. So if off kilter on this hope

not

> > offended by this.

> > > I have lived through what many would find beyond awful and

> > looking back on life seems that God has shown me how I dealt with

> > anger, the emotions of believing or deserving the hard slaps of

> > life, lack of thinking of myself in any way other than ugly

inside

> > and out by thoughts or memories. Always wanted things to be so

> > correct in meaning that kids did not misunderstand when Russ said

> > something or if doing a party or whatever that all were just happy

> > and made good memories.

> > > So point of the above is as body started getting sicker and

> > sicker and saw that life as had grown to be better and was

learning

> > things and putting things in the correct place in my thoughts,

well

> > just the fact that was sick and loosing ability to do what use to

do

> > made me feel very guilty for not living and being what my husband

and

> > I both wanted for each other. So the emotions were anger at

myself,

> > emotions of being failure for not dealing with it better, not

being

> > stronger in fighting things, wanting to be and act and look like

the

> > young wife was and the playful wife was.

> > > Instead as time passes become burden, hardship for Russ who

> > already has much to do and cause him to worry about me as he does

> > love me. Now am very grateful for his love just sad that his days

> > and nights and week-ends are not what should be due to never know

how

> > or what will be able to do or for how long will last if do

something.

> > > Tim I would guess and sure could be way off on this one not

> > knowing you nor your wife, but just from what you have spoken

perhaps

> > she lives in the place of feeling incapable of making you happy,

> > frustrated at not being able to help you and that would be being

able

> > in taking pain away or to place where you do not suffer. Not

that

> > she is upset at you, or expects more from you, but is just like us

> > when we are frustrated at not being stronger etc, she can feel

> > frustrated at thinking she should be able to do for you the right

> > thing in either attitude, or knowing how to help you and it just

> > builds up and she feels like she has and is letting you down.

After

> > all who knows how to help someone sick when you perhaps are leery

of

> > bringing up they are sick, or leery of if bring it up that will

cause

> > them to feel sad for causing or being reason that spouse is

> > distressed by not knowing what to do or say. Heck look at us, how

> > many times do we write to digest and someone is hurting and they

take

> > what was meant to be helpful as being disresptful or hurtful?

You

> > know we find we don't even know how to speak the right words to

those

> > who we do understand at least better than anyone else not

suffering

> > with rsd or fibro, and if others get upset at us then how hard

is it

> > for those around us to know how to help?

> > > I think we forget how if it was our child sick, and they were

> > feeling as we do how guilty and all sorts of emotions because we

just

> > cannot understand what the child thinks or feels that we are not

> > making them better.

> > > So after this novel, hope something is correct or logical to

> > you or anyone, just know I have offered many times to leave Russ

so

> > he can have better life. And Russ has been frustrated at his not

> > being able to rid me of the suffering I have and I work very hard

at

> > not letting him know just how I am but it shows. ANd think in

> > husband wife situation we both want same thing for person sick,

and

> > the one not sick feels like a fish out of water not knowing what

to

> > do or say and scared they are or you think they are angry at us or

> > whatever and we all just struggle not knowing how to speak to one

> > another. Anything correct here or have I just blown that last

brain

> > cell? Please forgive me all of you reading this if hard to

follow,

> > or if just not anything like you think or feel so you may read it

and

> > wonder what planet I was sent down from.

> > > Just know it is best can think at this point, as clear as

can

> > be at this time and I wrote this with heart wanting to and hope to

> > bring at least one light bulb to our trying to understand how we

are

> > and how our loved ones may feel. Okay? Not mad at me? Please do

> > not be mad as just cannot handle that now. Be knowing I care

> > > s Momma

> > > JoAnn

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you Barbara,

I really think that I am ok, not sure about my wife. We see life so

differntly more so than I thought. She is still angery about so much

that has happened and I finally let go of the anger, fear and

dissapointments.

I am gratefull to wake up every morning regardless of what lies

ahead. Its a new start and anything is possible.

This is life, it is not pretty sometimes and it is hard to get

through on ocassion, but I rather have all of this on my plate than

the alternative.

I think she needs some time and a little more understanding from me

and in the end it will work out.

Again thank you for your support and kind thoughts!

Tim

> > Have not given this thought and just read some of what you 3 have

> written of how you deal with life and emotions and reactions to

what

> is dealt you or not deal with it. So if off kilter on this hope not

> offended by this.

> > I have lived through what many would find beyond awful and

> looking back on life seems that God has shown me how I dealt with

> anger, the emotions of believing or deserving the hard slaps of

> life, lack of thinking of myself in any way other than ugly inside

> and out by thoughts or memories. Always wanted things to be so

> correct in meaning that kids did not misunderstand when Russ said

> something or if doing a party or whatever that all were just happy

> and made good memories.

> > So point of the above is as body started getting sicker and

> sicker and saw that life as had grown to be better and was learning

> things and putting things in the correct place in my thoughts, well

> just the fact that was sick and loosing ability to do what use to

do

> made me feel very guilty for not living and being what my husband

and

> I both wanted for each other. So the emotions were anger at myself,

> emotions of being failure for not dealing with it better, not being

> stronger in fighting things, wanting to be and act and look like

the

> young wife was and the playful wife was.

> > Instead as time passes become burden, hardship for Russ who

> already has much to do and cause him to worry about me as he does

> love me. Now am very grateful for his love just sad that his days

> and nights and week-ends are not what should be due to never know

how

> or what will be able to do or for how long will last if do

something.

> > Tim I would guess and sure could be way off on this one not

> knowing you nor your wife, but just from what you have spoken

perhaps

> she lives in the place of feeling incapable of making you happy,

> frustrated at not being able to help you and that would be being

able

> in taking pain away or to place where you do not suffer. Not that

> she is upset at you, or expects more from you, but is just like us

> when we are frustrated at not being stronger etc, she can feel

> frustrated at thinking she should be able to do for you the right

> thing in either attitude, or knowing how to help you and it just

> builds up and she feels like she has and is letting you down. After

> all who knows how to help someone sick when you perhaps are leery

of

> bringing up they are sick, or leery of if bring it up that will

cause

> them to feel sad for causing or being reason that spouse is

> distressed by not knowing what to do or say. Heck look at us, how

> many times do we write to digest and someone is hurting and they

take

> what was meant to be helpful as being disresptful or hurtful? You

> know we find we don't even know how to speak the right words to

those

> who we do understand at least better than anyone else not suffering

> with rsd or fibro, and if others get upset at us then how hard is

it

> for those around us to know how to help?

> > I think we forget how if it was our child sick, and they were

> feeling as we do how guilty and all sorts of emotions because we

just

> cannot understand what the child thinks or feels that we are not

> making them better.

> > So after this novel, hope something is correct or logical to

> you or anyone, just know I have offered many times to leave Russ so

> he can have better life. And Russ has been frustrated at his not

> being able to rid me of the suffering I have and I work very hard

at

> not letting him know just how I am but it shows. ANd think in

> husband wife situation we both want same thing for person sick, and

> the one not sick feels like a fish out of water not knowing what to

> do or say and scared they are or you think they are angry at us or

> whatever and we all just struggle not knowing how to speak to one

> another. Anything correct here or have I just blown that last brain

> cell? Please forgive me all of you reading this if hard to follow,

> or if just not anything like you think or feel so you may read it

and

> wonder what planet I was sent down from.

> > Just know it is best can think at this point, as clear as can

> be at this time and I wrote this with heart wanting to and hope to

> bring at least one light bulb to our trying to understand how we

are

> and how our loved ones may feel. Okay? Not mad at me? Please do

> not be mad as just cannot handle that now. Be knowing I care

> > s Momma

> > JoAnn

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Tim,

You amaze me each and every time i read your post. You have to be an

amazing man. My Tim is, maybe its the name just kidding. The support

you show your wife is unbelievable. My hubby and I havent been

married even 3 years yet and its hard for me to believe he is always

here for me always tells me and shows me he loves me.Most men wouldve

got out and said i cant handle all this. He married into a family of

all woman poor man lol Me and my 3 girls which i also have 3

granddaughters plus he has a daughter. So he is a brave man lol.We do

have one male dog and 3 females 1 male rabbit.. And new to my faimly

being raised in a old truck is 6 kittens and another female momma lol

we looked at 3 of the kittens and again 3 girls dont know about the

rest lol. well my book is over yall have a good day soft hugs and

much love JB

[Guest guest]

JB, that sounds like MY house! lol. Gene would always make us get Male animals....one, because he doesn't want any little ones running around, and two, because he needed help in evening up the odds! lmao.

But, he has totally lost the battle now. There is me, Sami and Crystal, plus 2 female cats compared to him, Petey and Sami's dog that seems to live anywhere in this town that there's food around! lol...before Petey was born though, it was just him and the dog!

Unless he manages to find a few more male animals....he's going to be outvoted no matter what.

oh....forgot about the 2 horses....1 male, 1 female!

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

He married into a family of all woman poor man lol Me and my 3 girls which i also have 3 granddaughters plus he has a daughter. So he is a brave man lol.We do have one male dog and 3 females 1 male rabbit.. And new to my faimly being raised in a old truck is 6 kittens and another female momma lol we looked at 3 of the kittens and again 3 girls dont know about the rest lol. well my book is over yall have a good day soft hugs and much love JB

____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here

[Guest guest]

Hey you can have my back anytime, will just glue us together, that should

work. Have Tonia in front to protect me from front attacks and you behind

for those nasty surprise attacks. Think you must have nice Angel Wings my

friend!!!!! Many hugs

s Momma

JoAnn

Re: Tim and Barbara and JB about thinking

things through..etc

>

> Joann,

>

> You didnt say anything wrong, And u give great advice as you know

> now i speak my mind. Good or bad i speak my mind i just say i hope

> you dont get mad but and if they do oh well... They will get over it

> i promise lol. Not being hard but you didnt say anything wrong at

> all.. And if they i can voice my opinon i can take someone elses

> back. we all deserve to have one.. Love ya JB

>

>

>

>