Re: Anal

[Guest guest]

Anne and Ruby, I think that you are sooo brave to try the anal! My BF really wants it and sometimes I think of caving...but I'm sooo scared. I'm really concerned that anything anal will only exacerbate my vag/vulva problems. So, even if it doesn't hurt like vaginal intercourse, does it effect your vv? Anyone? Anyone? Thanks! Angie Ruby Blush wrote: Hi Anne,I'm on a roll tonight! (I usually lurk ). Anyway, I tried to please my ex too much in my last relationship and it ended up backfiring, as I started resenting him. It did mean that I got very good at oral though, which maybe was a selling point in the beginning of my current relationship. However, I didnt want the same thing to happen again

and was honest to him about it. He is extremenly understanding and always says how unfair it is on me anyway and doesnt want me to feel like that. We did have a lot of fun with bondage etc, until I discovered in therapy that he didnt like being dominated (then felt really mean). But he also has a fetish for latex, which is really fun to fulfill as I love dressing up. So girls...try it, it usually makes me feel better even when I'm feeling pretty negative.Would be grateful of any tips for anal as have tried it on several occassions in the past and 'boy it hurt' or it felt like I was going to do a big poo and I made him stop!Many Thanks, Ruby xxxAnne Mcgee wrote: Have you guys tried being flexible sexually?? I know some things maybe awkward, but I just had to give in to some of my boyfriend's

desires, he was with me in the beginning when I could have normal sex, but is content with oral and anal, I said NO to anal for 4 years and finally gave in (he quit smoking as a trade off) and it really wasn't bad like I thought it would be, I still miss sex, and I think our sex life is getting very one sided, not to mention he gets a bit selfish, he even admitted to liking oral and anal more than vaginal, though I think this stems from him always being afraid he is going to hurt me the few times we try it the old fashioned way...any ways, I think if you are single you need to be flexible and honest from the beginning, ie, say what you can and cannot do, and that you are willing to try, the same way we expect them to be accomodating to us...hope I didn't offend anyone, Anne-->> I can relate to your situation of not

being able to have intercourse, but> when I do it takes 3 days to heal. I hate it but I am glad I am able to> at least to try. But now sex feels like so much work, I have to have my> boyfirned act like a freak'in diliator. He has to insert slowly and wait> for me to relax and it feels like minutes before I can get the next> insturctions. I know it may bother him but he try's to be supportive,> then I have to stop him in the middle. I hate it and he probably does> too. Everyone me around has normal sex, when ever, how ever long they> want and don't worry about healing. I hate it, and on point I was able> to do that but not anymore. I hope things will get better, but can't say> it for now.. So, I know where you are coming from. I think some of the> women are lucky to have a supportive husband, but I am afraid of> boyfriends leaving. This

leaves so much emotional stress.>>> good luck everyone,> Daisy>> marlo561tb wrote:>> Ruby-> Honey, I feel your pain! I have had VV since I was a teenager> also. I am now almost 35. I was finally diagnosed last year after> so many years of suffering... not being able to use a tampon,> couldn't ride a bike, jeans were torture, sex unbearble (from the> first attmept). I would bend down to pick something up and feel my> skin just break open. When I did open up about it to family and> friends no one had ever experienced it before. I thought this was> normal! How messed up is that?>> I am struggling with my crazy head as well. I got married about a> year ago. My husband entered this relationship knowing that> intercourse amy never be a possibility- crazy, sweet

man. But,> after extensive PT work we were able to have sex, although not that> frequently. The pain is much better, but not gone entirely. We are> now trying to have a baby and it is so frustrating. I have to> choose the days very carefully because it takes my body about 3 days> to recover from it. Does anyone else have this problem? I don't> know if it is nerve damage or what. But, it always on in the same> place- the lower right area. It just feels raw and bruised. The> left side never feels like that.>> I am so sick of being betrayed by my body. I hear everyone talking> about all this great sex and think if I never did this again in my> life it would be ok. I am so afraid that this will kill our> relationship, although my husband is very suuportive.>> Ruby, I am so sad for you but glad to read your email.

So, much of> the talk on this site is medical based, which is great and very> helpful, but the emotional effect this disease is awful. Just> knowing there are other people out there makes me feels better,> especially after being told by exs and doctors that it's all in your> head.>> Thank you.> Marlo>>>>>>>>> __________________________________________________>> What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo! Autos>> **IF REPLYING TO THIS POST, PLEASE REMOVE ORIGINAL POST, THANKS**>> Our HOME page is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VulvarDisorders> to search our archives, files, articles, etc.>> ***

[Guest guest]

Anal hasn't affected my vv at all, one thing I will say is that my

boyfriend took it really slow, the first few times he would just lubricate

the area (I usually got on the bed and he stood up) and just put the " head "

in a little, he didn't push or anything the first several times, actually

he was so excited by the whole thing that he came pretty quickly, any ways,

he would try to put a finger in first to relax the area, but I find this

uncomfortable, it was more painful when he was trying to " find " the right

spot since he pushes without finding anything, I was like, higher, no,

lower, nope, lost it, any ways, he went really slow, and after several

times I asked how much he had penetrated, and he said, all the way, I

hadn't even noticed the difference!, I don't like it to last long since it

is just awkward, and have found it is easier if I lay on my back on the

edge of the bed and he is standing, but it isn't painful with lots of

lubricant (just make sure it doesn't get in your vaginal area if you are

sensitive), and I make him wear a condom, the only times that it has hurt

at first, is, and this will sound gross, if there is a bit of poo in there,

now I know that if he tries and it hurts, we have to stop and try again

after I have made sure EVERYTHING is free and clear...even the tiniest bit

and it will hurt, I just relax and wait till he's done, though I do think

that if there was some cliteral contact at the same time it may actually be

pleasant, I really HATED the idea of even trying it, but after a few times,

it is just easier and faster than oral sometimes, Anne

--On Thursday, February 23, 2006 2:12 PM -0800 Fitzpatrick

wrote:

>

> Anne and Ruby,

>

> I think that you are sooo brave to try the anal! My BF really wants it

> and sometimes I think of caving...but I'm sooo scared. I'm really

> concerned that anything anal will only exacerbate my vag/vulva problems.

> So, even if it doesn't hurt like vaginal intercourse, does it effect your

> vv? Anyone? Anyone?

>

> Thanks!

> Angie

>

>

> Ruby Blush wrote:

>

> Hi Anne,

>

> I'm on a roll tonight! (I usually lurk ). Anyway, I tried to please my

> ex too much in my last relationship and it ended up backfiring, as I

> started resenting him. It did mean that I got very good at oral though,

> which maybe was a selling point in the beginning of my current

> relationship. However, I didnt want the same thing to happen again and

> was honest to him about it. He is extremenly understanding and always

> says how unfair it is on me anyway and doesnt want me to feel like that.

> We did have a lot of fun with bondage etc, until I discovered in therapy

> that he didnt like being dominated (then felt really mean). But he also

> has a fetish for latex, which is really fun to fulfill as I love dressing

> up. So girls...try it, it usually makes me feel better even when I'm

> feeling pretty negative.

>

> Would be grateful of any tips for anal as have tried it on several

> occassions in the past and 'boy it hurt' or it felt like I was going to

> do a big poo and I made him stop!

>

> Many Thanks,

>

> Ruby xxx

>

>

> Anne Mcgee wrote:

>

> Have you guys tried being flexible sexually?? I know some things maybe

> awkward, but I just had to give in to some of my boyfriend's desires, he

> was with me in the beginning when I could have normal sex, but is content

> with oral and anal, I said NO to anal for 4 years and finally gave in (he

> quit smoking as a trade off) and it really wasn't bad like I thought it

> would be, I still miss sex, and I think our sex life is getting very one

> sided, not to mention he gets a bit selfish, he even admitted to liking

> oral and anal more than vaginal, though I think this stems from him

> always

> being afraid he is going to hurt me the few times we try it the old

> fashioned way...any ways, I think if you are single you need to be

> flexible

> and honest from the beginning, ie, say what you can and cannot do, and

> that

> you are willing to try, the same way we expect them to be accomodating to

> us...hope I didn't offend anyone, Anne

>

> --On Wednesday, February 22, 2006 8:43 PM -0800 D

> wrote:

>

> >

> > I can relate to your situation of not being able to have intercourse,

> > but when I do it takes 3 days to heal. I hate it but I am glad I am

> > able to at least to try. But now sex feels like so much work, I have

> > to have my boyfirned act like a freak'in diliator. He has to insert

> > slowly and wait for me to relax and it feels like minutes before I can

> > get the next insturctions. I know it may bother him but he try's to be

> > supportive, then I have to stop him in the middle. I hate it and he

> > probably does too. Everyone me around has normal sex, when ever, how

> > ever long they want and don't worry about healing. I hate it, and on

> > point I was able to do that but not anymore. I hope things will get

> > better, but can't say it for now.. So, I know where you are coming

> > from. I think some of the women are lucky to have a supportive

> > husband, but I am afraid of boyfriends leaving. This leaves so much

> > emotional stress.

> >

> >

> > good luck everyone,

> > Daisy

> >

> > marlo561tb wrote:

> >

> > Ruby-

> > Honey, I feel your pain! I have had VV since I was a teenager

> > also. I am now almost 35. I was finally diagnosed last year after

> > so many years of suffering... not being able to use a tampon,

> > couldn't ride a bike, jeans were torture, sex unbearble (from the

> > first attmept). I would bend down to pick something up and feel my

> > skin just break open. When I did open up about it to family and

> > friends no one had ever experienced it before. I thought this was

> > normal! How messed up is that?

> >

> > I am struggling with my crazy head as well. I got married about a

> > year ago. My husband entered this relationship knowing that

> > intercourse amy never be a possibility- crazy, sweet man. But,

> > after extensive PT work we were able to have sex, although not that

> > frequently. The pain is much better, but not gone entirely. We are

> > now trying to have a baby and it is so frustrating. I have to

> > choose the days very carefully because it takes my body about 3 days

> > to recover from it. Does anyone else have this problem? I don't

> > know if it is nerve damage or what. But, it always on in the same

> > place- the lower right area. It just feels raw and bruised. The

> > left side never feels like that.

> >

> > I am so sick of being betrayed by my body. I hear everyone talking

> > about all this great sex and think if I never did this again in my

> > life it would be ok. I am so afraid that this will kill our

> > relationship, although my husband is very suuportive.

> >

> > Ruby, I am so sad for you but glad to read your email. So, much of

> > the talk on this site is medical based, which is great and very

> > helpful, but the emotional effect this disease is awful. Just

> > knowing there are other people out there makes me feels better,

> > especially after being told by exs and doctors that it's all in your

> > head.

> >

> > Thank you.

> > Marlo

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

> > What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo! Autos

> >

> > **IF REPLYING TO THIS POST, PLEASE REMOVE ORIGINAL POST, THANKS**

> >

> > Our HOME page is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VulvarDisorders

> > to search our archives, files, articles, etc.

> >

> > ***

[Guest guest]

Thanks Anne! Your account makes me feel a little less scared. I have had anal in the past, before the the vv and vag, and w/ plenty of booze in my system. It was actually pretty good (for anal)! (In fact, if you want some good clit action, try straddling him.) I'm just afraid of penetration all together! Jeez, sometimes I'm afraid of outercourse! Thanks again! Angie P.S. What kind of lube do you recommend? Anne Mcgee wrote: Anal hasn't affected my vv at all, one thing I will say is that my boyfriend took it really slow, the first few times he would just lubricate the area (I usually got on the bed and he stood up) and just put the "head" in a little, he didn't push or anything

the first several times, actually he was so excited by the whole thing that he came pretty quickly, any ways, he would try to put a finger in first to relax the area, but I find this uncomfortable, it was more painful when he was trying to "find" the right spot since he pushes without finding anything, I was like, higher, no, lower, nope, lost it, any ways, he went really slow, and after several times I asked how much he had penetrated, and he said, all the way, I hadn't even noticed the difference!, I don't like it to last long since it is just awkward, and have found it is easier if I lay on my back on the edge of the bed and he is standing, but it isn't painful with lots of lubricant (just make sure it doesn't get in your vaginal area if you are sensitive), and I make him wear a condom, the only times that it has hurt at first, is, and this will sound gross, if there is a bit of poo in there, now I know that if he tries

and it hurts, we have to stop and try again after I have made sure EVERYTHING is free and clear...even the tiniest bit and it will hurt, I just relax and wait till he's done, though I do think that if there was some cliteral contact at the same time it may actually be pleasant, I really HATED the idea of even trying it, but after a few times, it is just easier and faster than oral sometimes, Anne--On Thursday, February 23, 2006 2:12 PM -0800 Fitzpatrick wrote:>> Anne and Ruby,>> I think that you are sooo brave to try the anal! My BF really wants it> and sometimes I think of caving...but I'm sooo scared. I'm really> concerned that anything anal will only exacerbate my vag/vulva problems.> So, even if it doesn't hurt like vaginal intercourse, does it effect your> vv? Anyone? Anyone?>> Thanks!>

Angie>>> Ruby Blush wrote:>> Hi Anne,>> I'm on a roll tonight! (I usually lurk ). Anyway, I tried to please my> ex too much in my last relationship and it ended up backfiring, as I> started resenting him. It did mean that I got very good at oral though,> which maybe was a selling point in the beginning of my current> relationship. However, I didnt want the same thing to happen again and> was honest to him about it. He is extremenly understanding and always> says how unfair it is on me anyway and doesnt want me to feel like that.> We did have a lot of fun with bondage etc, until I discovered in therapy> that he didnt like being dominated (then felt really mean). But he also> has a fetish for latex, which is really fun to fulfill as I love dressing> up. So girls...try it, it usually makes me feel better even when I'm> feeling

pretty negative.>> Would be grateful of any tips for anal as have tried it on several> occassions in the past and 'boy it hurt' or it felt like I was going to> do a big poo and I made him stop!>> Many Thanks,>> Ruby xxx>>> Anne Mcgee wrote:>> Have you guys tried being flexible sexually?? I know some things maybe> awkward, but I just had to give in to some of my boyfriend's desires, he> was with me in the beginning when I could have normal sex, but is content> with oral and anal, I said NO to anal for 4 years and finally gave in (he> quit smoking as a trade off) and it really wasn't bad like I thought it> would be, I still miss sex, and I think our sex life is getting very one> sided, not to mention he gets a bit selfish, he even admitted to liking> oral and anal more than vaginal, though I think this stems from

him> always> being afraid he is going to hurt me the few times we try it the old> fashioned way...any ways, I think if you are single you need to be> flexible> and honest from the beginning, ie, say what you can and cannot do, and> that> you are willing to try, the same way we expect them to be accomodating to> us...hope I didn't offend anyone, Anne>> -->> >> > I can relate to your situation of not being able to have intercourse,> > but when I do it takes 3 days to heal. I hate it but I am glad I am> > able to at least to try. But now sex feels like so much work, I have> > to have my boyfirned act like a freak'in diliator. He has to insert> > slowly and wait for me to relax and it feels like minutes before I can> > get

the next insturctions. I know it may bother him but he try's to be> > supportive, then I have to stop him in the middle. I hate it and he> > probably does too. Everyone me around has normal sex, when ever, how> > ever long they want and don't worry about healing. I hate it, and on> > point I was able to do that but not anymore. I hope things will get> > better, but can't say it for now.. So, I know where you are coming> > from. I think some of the women are lucky to have a supportive> > husband, but I am afraid of boyfriends leaving. This leaves so much> > emotional stress.> >> >> > good luck everyone,> > Daisy> >> > marlo561tb wrote:> >> > Ruby-> > Honey, I feel your pain! I have had VV since I was a teenager> > also.

I am now almost 35. I was finally diagnosed last year after> > so many years of suffering... not being able to use a tampon,> > couldn't ride a bike, jeans were torture, sex unbearble (from the> > first attmept). I would bend down to pick something up and feel my> > skin just break open. When I did open up about it to family and> > friends no one had ever experienced it before. I thought this was> > normal! How messed up is that?> >> > I am struggling with my crazy head as well. I got married about a> > year ago. My husband entered this relationship knowing that> > intercourse amy never be a possibility- crazy, sweet man. But,> > after extensive PT work we were able to have sex, although not that> > frequently. The pain is much better, but not gone entirely. We are> > now trying to have a baby

and it is so frustrating. I have to> > choose the days very carefully because it takes my body about 3 days> > to recover from it. Does anyone else have this problem? I don't> > know if it is nerve damage or what. But, it always on in the same> > place- the lower right area. It just feels raw and bruised. The> > left side never feels like that.> >> > I am so sick of being betrayed by my body. I hear everyone talking> > about all this great sex and think if I never did this again in my> > life it would be ok. I am so afraid that this will kill our> > relationship, although my husband is very suuportive.> >> > Ruby, I am so sad for you but glad to read your email. So, much of> > the talk on this site is medical based, which is great and very> > helpful, but the emotional effect this disease is

awful. Just> > knowing there are other people out there makes me feels better,> > especially after being told by exs and doctors that it's all in your> > head.> >> > Thank you.> > Marlo> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > __________________________________________________> >> > What are the most popular cars? Find out at Yahoo! Autos> >> > **IF REPLYING TO THIS POST, PLEASE REMOVE ORIGINAL POST, THANKS**> >> > Our HOME page is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VulvarDisorders> > to search our archives, files, articles, etc.> >> > ***