Re: Just a thought....

[Guest guest]

Why are these girls so nasty, hateful and vengeful? My daughter is the same

way when she is in a relationship with a guy or has no money. She has no been

using my grandsons against me when she cannot get her own way. She tells me

i will no longetr be able to see them. But when she wants something, usually

money or when her relationships fall apart, then she's back and becomes my

best buddy.

She just had her husband of 26 days arrested for domestic violence, and then

wanted to change her mind. I read the police report, and I'm sure the charges

are bogus. There is not a scratch on her. My guess is that he didn't follow

her rules and she " taught " him a lesson! Granted, he was out of jail on

probation, so he has now been violated. He had a drug problem for years and

when

she hooked upwith him, she continually bought him liquor and pot. MY guess is

she's using also.

She is 31. She started this at 19. It seems to go dormant for years at a

time and then it

consumes her completly. She is bright, graduated from an excellent college,

but is now doing nothing after having worked with me in real estate. She

wants me to give her money till she " gets herself going again " !!!!!

I've had it. I am sick to deathe of her nastiness and her phoniness when she

needs something. My whole family, say she has burned her bridges this time.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Yes...same thing almost - except mine, although she is well-educated and quite

bright, became a prostitute for quick easy money and now complains about how she

is lacking in self-esteem. She also claims that I criticized her

continuously when she was younger (her sister claims I favoured her). The truth

is she was the apple of my eye - but very hard work, always wanting to be the

centre of attention from a very young age. I became quite exhausted

with it and took a six month break during which time my mother looked after both

girls. Her younger sister is a qualified teacher and happy with her life. My

bpd/bi-polar daughter pressures for financial help continously, and we

have all had to put a stop to it so we dont become bankrupted.

I am again taking time out. I have decided to have a quality life with my

husband and other members of our family and quite willing to be an emotional

supportive mother as long as there are signs of some self-help

cascorsam@... wrote:

> I'm curious as to how many parents of borderlines treated them when they were

> children as little prima donnas. I have a friend whose daughter has problems

> similar to my daughter's.

> Actually, these girls, though 2 years apart in age, went to the same

> elementary school, took dancing lessons together, as well skating, etc. They

were

> both quite smart and in retospect we both lived vicariously through their

> achievements. We were both way too ego involved with their accomplishments

and

> failures. I think that perhaps my daughter hates me because although I

thought she

> was beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, etc, perhaps she was terrified to fail

> at anything and deicided that she wasn't as spectatular as I always told

> her she was. I know she was never sexually or physically abused as the

> experts say 75% of borderlines are, but I wonder if my over zealous

expectations of

> her coulldn't be a trigger for her to have unconsciously said to hell with it

> all and started living a lifestyle with no expectations. Her first bout of

> this behavior 6 years ago started when she graduated from college. Never got

a

> decent job, just waitressed, which was fine while she was a student, but not

> with a 4 year degree. For the past few years, while still waitressing, my son

> started and finished law school and I know she was quite envious of him. And

> it was just recently, that she got her real estate license, sold 3 house

> within 2 months and netted $27,000 in commissions. And then, hooked up with

this

> bum and let everything go to hell again. There just seems to be some

> correlation.

>

> Anyone have any similar experiences???

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm curious as to how many parents of borderlines treated them when they were

children as little prima donnas. I have a friend whose daughter has problems

similar to my daughter's.

Actually, these girls, though 2 years apart in age, went to the same

elementary school, took dancing lessons together, as well skating, etc. They

were

both quite smart and in retospect we both lived vicariously through their

achievements. We were both way too ego involved with their accomplishments and

failures. I think that perhaps my daughter hates me because although I thought

she

was beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, etc, perhaps she was terrified to fail

at anything and deicided that she wasn't as spectatular as I always told

her she was. I know she was never sexually or physically abused as the

experts say 75% of borderlines are, but I wonder if my over zealous expectations

of

her coulldn't be a trigger for her to have unconsciously said to hell with it

all and started living a lifestyle with no expectations. Her first bout of

this behavior 6 years ago started when she graduated from college. Never got a

decent job, just waitressed, which was fine while she was a student, but not

with a 4 year degree. For the past few years, while still waitressing, my son

started and finished law school and I know she was quite envious of him. And

it was just recently, that she got her real estate license, sold 3 house

within 2 months and netted $27,000 in commissions. And then, hooked up with this

bum and let everything go to hell again. There just seems to be some

correlation.

Anyone have any similar experiences???

[Guest guest]

,

Makes all the sense in the world. Sounds like my house.

Debbie