Is BPD real?

[Guest guest]

I've had the same questions are to if BPD is real or just an excuse

for some people to wimp out in life. My daughter is 23 yr old and I

finally have realized that it is a very real disorder! It is a

little fightening to accept that it is a disorder and not just a

teenager " acting out " or not facing reality.

>

> I am a new member of this group. I am also new to the diagnosis

of

> BPD for my 15 year old. The more I read the more it fits. My

older

> daughter and son-in-law question the validity of the diagnosis -

not

> just for her - but as a valid diagnosis for anyone. My son-in-law

> said that he thinks it takes the responsibility off of , if

she

> can say this is why I act this way. Any thoughts or input?

[Guest guest]

Yes, that's the slippery slope all of us with BPD family members are

on. On the one hand, we want to believe that with firm loving normal

expectations, our BPD will " take responsibility " , and thrive. So we do

all we can to be firm enough. And we eventually, I think, rest in one

of three positions: blame them for not maturing the way we believe

they " should " ; blame ourselves for somehow, somewhere, scarring them;

or, blame neither, but go about doing all we can to learn about BPD and

to mitigate its effects on all family members.

I still, (my daughter is now 41yo,) feel vulnerable to other family

members' judgments. I worry that they think I'm too...disengaged,

cool, or not nurturing enough, especially when my daughter can be so

sparkly some of the time. My other daughter, 40yo, is just now

beginning to let up on me after years of joining her sister in

believing my bad parenting was the cause of her/their problems. Yikes,

what a hard situation. v

>

> I am a new member of this group.  I am also new to the diagnosis of

> BPD for my 15 year old.  The more I read the more it fits.  My older

> daughter and son-in-law question the validity of the diagnosis - not

> just for her - but as a valid diagnosis for anyone.  My son-in-law

> said that he thinks it takes the responsibility off of , if she

> can say this is why I act this way.  Any thoughts or input?

>

>

>

>

>

> Send questions & concerns to WTOParentsOfBPs-owner .

> " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via

> 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of contents, see

> http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I felt just as you do when my daughter was 15, but through the years

we have all been saying to each other.... " this is more than just

rebelliousness, or nonformist behavior....this crosses over the line

of normalcy " . Over and over. But nothing explained it and we were

at a loss. Just last week we found out that she had BP. She is 35

now and still doing the same things she did at 15 only a little more

controlled, and has been able to run a business since she was 25. She

has a kennels and grooming business and it is sort of a free wheeling

business, and allows some acting out. But this diagnosis explains

everything that is so weird about her behavior. She ruins all her

relationships though she desperately wants to kee them. She can't

help it. Those of us who love her maintain our relationships with

her ourselves. When she is on an up swing she is wonderful. I don't

think my son believes in BPD, but he doesn't argue about it. I think

I have been lucky where she is concerned though she nearly ruined my

marriage for many years when she was a teenager. Jean

>

> I am a new member of this group. I am also new to the diagnosis of

> BPD for my 15 year old. The more I read the more it fits. My

older

> daughter and son-in-law question the validity of the diagnosis -

not

> just for her - but as a valid diagnosis for anyone. My son-in-law

> said that he thinks it takes the responsibility off of , if

she

> can say this is why I act this way. Any thoughts or input?

[Guest guest]

My daughter is also 15 and just diagnosed BPD in April. It explains everything

we've been going through w/ her over the past several years. It's beel pretty

much full-blown BP, I believe since last a yr ago Sep. . . ruining her

relationships . . fears of abandonment . . . cutting . . . substance abuse . . .

fascination w/ death . . . suicide attempts . . just general over-the-top

behavior. I struggle w/ feeling like this is a made-up dx or maybe she just has

bipolar (which seems more socially-acceptable for some reason, to me). I shared

my thoughts w/ her psychiatrist whom I trust. She said it really doesn't matter

what you call it, she needs treatment for the behavior w/ meds, therapy and

support from us, school . . . etc. I feel like we're on the right track, altho'

I wouldn't say she's doing great by any means!!!!! It's easier for me to talk

about this and explain BPD to friends, however, than it is to get family to

believe and buy into it. I think most of them think

we've spoiled her or we don't love her enough. My hubby and I now know that

she's a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to be good.

Ann

ligallagher1950 wrote:

I am a new member of this group. I am also new to the diagnosis of

BPD for my 15 year old. The more I read the more it fits. My older

daughter and son-in-law question the validity of the diagnosis - not

just for her - but as a valid diagnosis for anyone. My son-in-law

said that he thinks it takes the responsibility off of , if she

can say this is why I act this way. Any thoughts or input?

Send questions & concerns to WTOParentsOfBPs-owner . " Stop

Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL

(). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

[Guest guest]

YES BPD IS REAL PLEASE GET THE BOOK WALKING ON EGGSHELLS ITS AN EYE OPENER.

I GET SO TIERD OF PEOPLE TELLING ME TO DO THIS AND TO DO THAT BUT THEY DONT

HAVE A CLUE I HAVE LEARNED NOT TO TALK TO THOSE WHO DONT KNOW WHAT MENTAL

ILLNESS IS.

BPD IS SO REAL ITS SCARY AND IN MY FACE EVERYDAY

GOOD LUCK ,BOBBIE