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Re: Re: 21 year old child

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does she live with you? We are at about the same place, except we had to ask

our daughter to leave because after she laid in bed for 2 weeks, she started

self medicating with drugs and alcohol and went out all night and stayed in all

day. Lost her job (actually fired from a great job). We had to change our

locks. She just went to the VA (she has an hon discharge from military) so she

can get services. They are going to start seeing her by Psychiatrist 12/7.

Although I'm not sure she is ready to tell them the truth of why she is where

she is at.

When they become adults it is hard to manage. Ourr daught was in

University, got a 4.0 the first semester, then went to bed the 2nd and flunked

out.

Now she is homeless, penniless, staying with a " friend " that wants to her to

leave as soon as possible and she doesn't have anywhere to go but our home. We

have had to set a limit by not letting her live with us. She regresses and

won't get the help she needs.

But I don't know how these people if they are complete depressed, no motivation,

can be expected to look for a job and apartment without out help. We have told

her that if she takes medication, stays in therapy, keeps one of us involved so

we know she is telling the truth (especially around the medication and therapy),

she can come home for the time it would take for her to get a job and an

apartment.

However, she was so horrible, alwyas angry, I'm not sure we could do this again.

Any thoughts?

deb_petersen wrote:

My daughter went to college and lasted until the 2nd semester of her

sophomore year. She just couldn't get out of bed. She went into the

BPD program at Mclean in Belmont, but acted out there until she was

aked to take a leave of absence and return when she was interested in

really doing the program. I'm not sure where we're at now. She has a

part-time job, but frequently calls in sick. She's in therapy, also

in a DBT program, and on meds. (sigh) I pain for her.

Debbie (in DC area and WY.)

Send questions & concerns to WTOParentsOfBPs-owner . " Stop

Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL

(). For the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

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Ann, Yes my daughter lives w/me, has to as she is still only 17 and in

school, hopefully will finish out. My daughter is the same, doesn't hold jobs

very long, sleeps all the time,

doesn't keep boyfriends long, is using, promiscuous, lies, steals, etc.

I had to have tough love w/my son years ago, he's now 28, but at 18 was

doing heroin.

He was the devil, laid around all day, got drunk all nite, slept all day,

then doing the heroin, then would withdraw, laying in his closet all day rolled

up in a ball. It was extremely hard, calling 911 to have him removed, I

sobbed uncontrollably, as I had raised him by myself for his first 10 years.

It

was the worst thing I've had to do in my life. My daughter I cannot do this

to, yet. She turns 18 in Jan. but will (hopefully) still be attending

school. I cant get it through her head, she needs to wake up. This past week

asked me if her senior portraits were back yet! I have like a $250 balance to

pay them yet before they will print, and then I find out she got paid Friday

from her job,

AND DOESNT HAVE A CENT LEFT OF IT!!! All gone........drugs I'm sure. I

said the next time you ask me about pictures, let me know how much money you've

given me to pay for them. Good luck to you and god bless us all.

Debbie

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have been away too for a few days with my Bp daughter. I am too mentally

exhausted from this " vacation " to elaborate. Will write When I have the mental

capability.

ckk222 wrote:

>

> > Hi Deb - I have a 20 year old daughter still at home

> > and probably won't be

> > leaving it till we find a crow-bar big enough to pry

> > her out of her room!

> > Has no academic ambition - has dropped every class

> > ever taken - total waste

> > of tuition, NUMEROUS jobs and left each and every

> > due to it being the

> > employers " issues. " Blew the engine of her car and

> > is so po'd that we

> > refuse to buy her another one. Does any of this

> > sound familiar??

> >

> > Her formal dx is as bipolar, completely off meds

> > (her choice) and hasn't

> > seen her T in ages.....but, if she had remained in

> > school, would still be on

> > my insurance....

> >

> > 'Fraid we've been banging heads lately, I've always

> > been the focus of her

> > frustrations (rage), only this time, last week she

> > decided to try to take on

> > her dad and what a major uh-oh that was. He's very

> > quiet and basically

> > nonconfrontational (most times), she mistook it as

> > being a push-over for

> > this round...hah....what a surprise she got.

> >

> > So, from your post, I'm guessing you also have an

> > adult " child " in the home.

> >

> > Is he/she in school, working?

> >

> > Take care - k

> >

> >

> >

> > 21 year old " child "

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Anyone around with an " adult " child at home?

> >

> > Deb

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Send questions & concerns to

> > WTOParentsOfBPs-owner " Stop

> > Walking on Eggshells, " a primer for non-BPs can be

> > ordered via

> > 1-888-35-SHELL (). For the table of

> > contents, see

> > http://www.BPDCentral.com

> >

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