Guest guest Posted June 8, 2004 Report Share Posted June 8, 2004 No, I havent been to al-anon, altho its been suggested. I'm coping okay, and I also know I cannot control her, only myself, so I dont need them to tell me that. Started having problems with her at age 13. I knew the reasons why and when it happened to her, just didnt think it would lead to such a devastating disorder. She had also crushed her zoloft, snorted it, then ended up calling 911 herself. I went to ER only to find her completely " sane " and sensible, realizing what she had done was so utterly stupid. This was after the six facility visits. This time she said, take me home, I'm not going to any more places and she would never do this again. She hasnt, but still continues to use. I'm still thinking of stopping the meds. Maybe it will take her getting caught with the stuff to make her stop. But as far as I can see, she only does it at home when I'm not around. She was diag. w/BPD at the fifth facility, and I was told she was not a good candidate to be told about BPD, which I totally agree with. She should never have been told, because she plays on it. Well, someone there winded up telling her. So she plays it out and abuses it for her convenience. She's 17 now so we've been with this for about 3 yrs. Thanx. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2004 Report Share Posted June 8, 2004 I dont know about calling the police. It just breaks my heart what she's doing to herself. Years ago, my son was doing heroin. I never called the police, but I did the " tough love " thing, and kicked him out, got an RO on him. But, he was 18, and for some godforsaken reason, seemed easier with him than it is with her. He's 27 now and doing well. It just seems so much tougher with her. I raised my son mostly by myself til he was about 10, so you'd think it would have been harder for me to let him go. This one is 17, she was a 7 mo. born premie. Why is it so hard for me to be tough? The only way I can get any kind of county or state help is to have her classified, whatever that means. She's struggling with school, as she chooses not to go half the time, you think they would have suggested this to me two years ago, not now when she's failing. Brick walls everywhere. Thanx for your input. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2004 Report Share Posted June 8, 2004 thanx, but for some reason i just cant get myself to do that. You know, like is it the fear that she would hate me? I dont know. Or maybe because of her age, and trying just to get her thru school. Let her deal w/the legal stuff when she's of age and not my responsibility. It's just so hard. thanx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2004 Report Share Posted June 8, 2004 Thanx, my daughter has never been abusive or physical. The occassional screaming match, usually aimed at my new husband. He's never had kids, so even trying to cope with a " normal " teen, would be a challenge to him, let alone what he's married into. I had the police there once, after she had taken off for 3 1/2 days, I filed a report. She came home the next morning, not knowing I had filed. The police came when I called to tell them she was home. That kinda blew her away. Couldnt believe I had them there. Didn't do much. She's taken off again. It's just this is really the only bad thing she's doing to herself, smoking, getting more depressed. The meds wont work if she smokes. The smoking affects her more than the disorder. Not getting up for school, or at least late for school. Not responsible at home. Laying around, sleeping half the days away. Seems futile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 Hi Debbie-- I know I'm late and all, but I think that since you already told her she could go live with her dad if she's going to continue smoking, then maybe it's time to pack her bags and send her there. I realize that may sound harsh. However, when you back down, she won't believe you mean what you say and she'll keep walking all over you. On the other hand, when you follow through, at some level she'll know she can depend on you to keep your word. If her dad agrees, both of you can warn her that you'll call the police next time, and then follow through with that. Just my two cents-- Meredith ------ Hello my friends. I told her two weeks ago when I found a baggie I had taken away from her. (She had also gotten this one in advance of payment), that I find this stuff in the house again, that she's done. Whatever that means. I just dont know what to do. She'll be home from school today and find it missing again. I told her last time, that she could call her father and go live with him if she wants to continue to smoke and be the way she is. Its a futile battle trying to get her to stop smoking. Any suggestions would be great. Thanx. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.