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unsupporting husbands

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> It's got to be in the water. Plus, it's hard for our spouses to understand

what is really happen. Let's face it, we take the place of mama and we bend over

backwards to do it. Then all of a sudden, it stops. They are big babies and they

whine a lot. They really can't see the full picture. Give it time and print some

information off for them. Explain

> what is happening to you and how you feel. This is your life's partner, he or

she needs to know what this is like. It's pure hell. Sorry. But it is. Our

spouses need to put their feet into our shoes for once and then maybe they will

see. Tell them to think of it this way, what's their favorite hobbie? Now, take

it away.

Sorry, I just had to reply to that. I got one of those hubbies to. But, I

will say he has been my best friend through all of this. God, thank you for such

a wonderful man. Good luck everyone.

Kim

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My husband is more of the type that doesn't get over concerned about much. He

lacks the ability to show emotion and I believe this stems from his upbringing.

The only time I have seen him truly break down is when our daughter was in the

hospital with severe RSV at 11 months old.

He doesn't get emotional about much. I on the other hand tend to be very

expressive with my emotions (good or bad) I guess that is the Leo in me! :)

He just seems to take life as it comes...he made the analogy one day that if we

both were to go through a drive thru and order a burger with no tomato and after

leaving the window we realized that they put tomato on the burger

I would turn the car around and start screaming about the tomato

and he would have just taken them off and tossed them out the window and

continued on his way!

I suppose I like the confrontation in life! He prefers to just glide along!

Opposites do attract! :)

Gesler wrote:

> It's got to be in the water. Plus, it's hard for our spouses to understand

what is really happen. Let's face it, we take the place of mama and we bend over

backwards to do it. Then all of a sudden, it stops. They are big babies and they

whine a lot. They really can't see the full picture. Give it time and print some

information off for them. Explain

> what is happening to you and how you feel. This is your life's partner, he or

she needs to know what this is like. It's pure hell. Sorry. But it is. Our

spouses need to put their feet into our shoes for once and then maybe they will

see. Tell them to think of it this way, what's their favorite hobbie? Now, take

it away.

Sorry, I just had to reply to that. I got one of those hubbies to. But, I will

say he has been my best friend through all of this. God, thank you for such a

wonderful man. Good luck everyone.

Kim

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hello group !!!

this is my first post .you are all wonderful people here .i have

learned do much from this group . bless each of you !!

i happen to have one of those unsupporting husband .: (

i once informed him that i may have a physical disablity but he has

an emotional one . i am sure these people have fears beyond what we

can truely comprehend . and for this they need alot of help to

overcome that .but i have learned that as much as i need his help i

am

doing it w./ out him (this health thing ) . this has taught me alot .

it has empowered me in knowing i don't need him(but i do want him )

!!! i feel bad for anyone who can not have compassion for anyone in

pain . it spins my head to think he actullay told one doc. i was a

hypocondriact(S?)

well it did turn out to be in my head LOL and the tumor runs the

lenght of my spine to boot .LOl. heaven help them .

the pain i have felt from his emotional abandonment is almost numbing

..

he see himself as a giver . but can only give aslong as things are

going his way .

once i had told him " you really should know what this is all about "

and he's reply was that , your stronger then i am about that stuff .

you know me i'll just worry !!!!!!!!!!! can you imagine !!! he is my

husband he should worry !!!!!!!!!

oh well i tend to beleive i have this for a resaon . i am hoping it

is

to teach him to be a better human . it is hard to reconize him as

loving, w/ him feeling this way . what ever happen to for better or

worse ...in sickness and healh .. god seemed to cover it in those 2.

it is hard enough to learn limits , deal w/ pain , and all the other

things we must take under our belts and doing it w/ out the spouses

loving help ,only makes it harder . seem to me if they dealt w/ there

fears we would all feel loved and would help each other. if ever a

day

comes that my butt is stuck in a wheel chair , i pray that my huband

will enter a room and light up just knowing that my heart is HIS .

and

nothing else will matter . it is commonly known that we are stronger

in numbers . well i have rattled on . lol i am known to do that .

thanks for listening . and as much as we may feel injuried from there

lack of love,understanding and compassion ..... know that it is them

who really is in need of our help and strive for ways to help them

overcome there fears . ( don't think this would be easy though , but

maybe worth it ) cindi

god bless us all !!!!!

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