Re: New Here...

[Guest guest]

Sam,

My Ep was in July, and I also had my right tube removed. It was a terrible

shock as we had also been TTC. I did not know I was pg prior to knowing

something was wrong. I started bleeding on the day AF was expected, and just

continued to bleed for 13 days. ANYWAY, this is a wonderful group where we

have been touched by EP. This is a great place to ask questions or get

support. Glad you found us.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Sam,

Hi! I'm sorry that you had to find us. It is so sad that this has to

happen... But I think you will find the ladies here to be a great bunch. It

does not matter what you are posting about, someone will always be able to

respond back to it with answers, advice, or just support. I hope you like it

here!

********Amy********

wife to 2/14/97

mommy to...

6/18/97

~Samara~ 6/30/98 (ectopic pregnancy)

~Noah~ 7/16/99 (ectopic pregnancy)

[Guest guest]

Sam,

Welcome to the group I am so sorry that you have to find us this way . But you

have found a wonderful group of women.

J

New Here...

I found you all through Krista's great website.

I had a laporoscopy(sp) on Tuesday (11/28)night to remove an ep that

had ruptured my right tube. I had been having abdominal pain for

two days. I had had some spotting the weeks before the pain, and had

had two very low HcG level tests. Yet, the nurses still did not

think that I needed to see a Dr. (I belong to a big HMO, that makes

you speak to a nurse on the phone after being on hold for 20 minutes,

rather than letting you go into a Dr.) I think that had the nurses

paid better attention to my syptoms, I could have avoided the

surgery. Well that is my vent about HMO's. Now more about me.

My DH and I have been married for little over a year. We've been ttc

since August. So when we found out I was pg after just two months of

trying we were estactic. Our family very excited too (we are the

only kids on both sides, so we are the only hope for grandkids). Mom

and I went shopping for maternity clothes over Thanksgiving weekend.

I guess I knew I was pushing my luck buying clothes at only five

weeks.

The Monday after Thanksgiving was when the severe pain started, and

that Tuesday was the surgery. The surgery went as well as could be

expected. They could not save my righ tube, but they did go in and

look and the left, which the Dr says is in excellent condidtion.

Since I have none of the risk factors for an ep, we are going to try

again in the spring.

I look forward to getting to know you all, and learning from your

experiences with greiving, and ttc.

Peace,

Sam Dickinson

eGroups Sponsor

[Guest guest]

Sam,

I just wanted to welcome you to the group and say how sorry I am that

you have been through this. I too despise HMO's!

I too had bought maternity clothes with my ectopic. Also a stroller

and a carseat. You will go on to get pg again and everything will be fine.

Hae faith. Write whenefer you need to, (((HUGS))) Kim

[Guest guest]

Hello Sam,

Welcome to the group.I'm sorry for your loss,this group has helped me alot

and hopefully it can help you.I had my ep 10-17-00 and I thought I would

never feel better.But after only a few days with this group I did.I hope to

be talking to you soon.

Tina

>

>Reply-To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>Subject: New Here...

>Date: Sun, 03 Dec 2000 12:21:31 -0000

>

>I found you all through Krista's great website.

>

>I had a laporoscopy(sp) on Tuesday (11/28)night to remove an ep that

>had ruptured my right tube. I had been having abdominal pain for

>two days. I had had some spotting the weeks before the pain, and had

>had two very low HcG level tests. Yet, the nurses still did not

>think that I needed to see a Dr. (I belong to a big HMO, that makes

>you speak to a nurse on the phone after being on hold for 20 minutes,

>rather than letting you go into a Dr.) I think that had the nurses

>paid better attention to my syptoms, I could have avoided the

>surgery. Well that is my vent about HMO's. Now more about me.

>

>My DH and I have been married for little over a year. We've been ttc

>since August. So when we found out I was pg after just two months of

>trying we were estactic. Our family very excited too (we are the

>only kids on both sides, so we are the only hope for grandkids). Mom

>and I went shopping for maternity clothes over Thanksgiving weekend.

>I guess I knew I was pushing my luck buying clothes at only five

>weeks.

>

>The Monday after Thanksgiving was when the severe pain started, and

>that Tuesday was the surgery. The surgery went as well as could be

>expected. They could not save my righ tube, but they did go in and

>look and the left, which the Dr says is in excellent condidtion.

>Since I have none of the risk factors for an ep, we are going to try

>again in the spring.

>

>I look forward to getting to know you all, and learning from your

>experiences with greiving, and ttc.

>

>Peace,

>Sam Dickinson

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

_____

Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

Sam and Willisa... welcome. I am sooo sorry that you had to find this

group. I had an ep and surgery on 8/31 and lost my right tube. I know the

pain you are feeling. So do all the others here. They've helped me soo

much. Everyone here Does understand what you are going through and that is

such a comfort.

All I can say is that the pain you are feeling now will lessen and

eventually you will find some peace (I have). If you ever need to " chat "

please feel free to email at:

tigger89@...

Hang in there.

r

T.T.F.N.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sam,

Hello. Welcome to the group. I am sorry for your loss. I too got

pg right away and we were so excited, I didn't buy any clothes but I

bought all the books. I am glad you are going to try again in the

Spring. We are currently ttc, I am cd 21 and wishing this week would

go by faster. Again, welcome to the group and I look forward to

getting to know you too.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

sam

welcome to the group. i hopw you find the help you are looking for here

jeanette

[Guest guest]

Dear Sam,

Welcome to the group! I know this isn't the best experience of your

life, but hopefully this group will make it a little easier for you.

Please post if you ever need to talk or share something.

Dominique

[Guest guest]

KJ,

I am so glad you were able to find this group (but so saddened by your need

too). I have found unbelievable support and understanding here. My EP was in

July of this year. I had no idea I was pg. I had been bleeding for 10 days

(at the this time I would have normally had AF). My doctor told me he thought

I was having a miscarriage and given the fact that I continued to bleed, he

scheduled me to go in for a d/c. Day surgery. I ended up having a laporotomy

(like you had) with the whole incision and stapled shut. I lost my right tube

as well. It was one of the darkest times of my life. I mean I could not

believe it had happened. I just hate to think of having to deal with your

added medical complications (((((HUGS))))). I have no magic words to make

things easier except to say that regardless of how/why or EP's happened..we

have all felt the pain of this incredible loss. Welcome KJ, you can feel free

to ask any and I mean any questions you may have, or reach out for support

anytime you need it.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Dear KJ,

I'm so sorry you've been through such a traumatic experience. You have

certainly found a great place in this group though. The next few days,

weeks and even months bring with them a lot of different feelings, emotions

and questions. We will

ALL be here to help you sort through whatever it is you need.

Take Care,

[Guest guest]

I am so grateful for all the replies I have received from my post. Today, I

went and had the packing changed again. They are using a montgomery strap to

hold everything together since the incision was blown out when the abcsess

ruptured. It makes it alot easier on the skin since they don't have to rip

off tape each time the packing is changed. Dr. Brown said maybe Saturday he

will not re-pack the incison and see if the healing continues. I have seen

my doctor more from this ectopic pregnancy than if I had carried to term. I

have a 15 year old daughter and an 11 year old son and the song of the day

seems to be that I have " at least had the chance to raise a family " ...as IF

this baby meant something less to me since this wasn't my first pregnancy.

My head aches sometimes from the comments that people throw out...makes me

wonder WHERE do they get this stuff from?!?!? My mother flew up from

Florida to spend some time with me last week and left today to return home.

I cried like a 3 year old, want my mommy, want my mommy, WANT my MOMMY!!

totally pathetic... Dr, told me today that as my body heals my heart will

start to hurt...he really is a wonderful doctor, he has been here every

minute for us. I have noticed that my tears are falling alot more and alot

easier...one minute I am fine the next I am a lunatic. My hormone levels

only reached about 3200 before the surgery, is post partum depression an

issue here? I meant to ask my doctor but forgot. I could talk all

night...geez. thanks for letting me vent...KJ

[Guest guest]

KJ,

Girl you just talk as much as you want to , We've all been there and

understand what you are going through. It doesn't matter if it was your first

or tenth, or even planned or unplanned. It was a tremendous loss that will

take time to heal. I also understand about needing your mother as when I had

my EP, I had my partner rush me right to my mom's since noone can take care

of me like she can. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))).

Dana

[Guest guest]

kj

i was sent home with an open wound after i had my ep. It was in june. my wp

ruptured and i had lost more then half my blood in my belly. they removed my

left tube. 2 days later my then closed incision was still bleeding that is

when they opened it up and left it open. I had a nurse come two times a day

for around three weeks then my husband took over changing the dressings. It

will seem like a never ending road at times but it does get better as time

goes on. I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

jeanette

[Guest guest]

KJ,

I'm so sorry for your loss, but am glad you've joined the group.

> I should be " over it by now. "

This is certainly not true. After what you've been through it is

completely understandable to still be thinking about it and feeling

sad. Some people will heal faster than others emotionally so noone

has the right to tell you when you should be over this. I hope if

it's those close to you who are saying this that they will soon

realize how traumatic this can be to a person and that you need their

support.

I am also sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time with

the physical recovery. It sounds as if it has just been awful. How

much longer do you have keep going back to see the dr every other

day? I hope that part is nearing the end for you.

Don't worry about the " tone " of your messages, that's what the group

is here for - to listen to you, no matter how you're feeling. So

post whenever with whatever you want to.

-Amy R

[Guest guest]

KJ,

So sorry for all you are going through right now. I found out I was

pg last Christmas Eve and we were thrilled, but on Jan. 3rd the

bottom dropped out of the dream and I had an emergency lap. The ep

was in my one " good " tube and recently the RE has told me he would

like to remove it now too bc it has not healed correctly and more

than likely if we are to get pg again we'll have another ep. I'm not

ready to know my only option is getting pg through IVF just yet and

it is almost a year later. It takes time to heal, remember that and

know we are here to help you through every step.

suggested having an hsg and I found it very helpful. But again

it is an individual choice and we'll be here to offer you advice,

support, a shoulder and experience. Take care of yourself!!

Kel

[Guest guest]

The comments people make are unbelievable...but they don't

understand...it may be hard to accept right now and it doesn't make

them sting any less, but I think they really are trying to help and

be of comfort they just don't know how and they don't realize their

comments are only adding to your pain.

Sounds like you have a wonderful dr...hold on to him. I do think

what he said is very true. I didn't cry really for the first 3 days

after surgery...not that I wasn't sad, but it just hurt to much

physically to cry...so I withdrew from myself for a few days. You

are not a lunatic. It's been 3 months since my surgery and I still

cry at the drop of a hat sometimes. Granted it does happen less and

less often, but is still happens...I don't know if it will ever

completly stop...

-Amy R

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/00 10:11:47 PM Eastern Standard Time,

gradstu12@... writes:

> It was a tremendous loss that will

>

YEs that is true.....MY ep was 35 days ago and YES it does get better.

Everyone here told me that when i joined but i didnt' believe them, it was

the darkest time of my life.....but the sun is peaking through the clouds :0)

Life does go on and we move on with it.....never forgetting but healing the

broken heart, the broken dreams, and Lord willing, finding peace again.....

all my prayers for a better tomorrow! here is to 2001~~~

God give us all our prayers answered!

love

dawn

ep~11/22/00

lost right tube

FinALY O'd!5dpo

" If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If

they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no

one go there unwarned and unprayed for. " H. Spurgeon

[Guest guest]

KJ,

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. It was rotten to have the ep in

the first place but to have all the other problems on top of it was not

helping.

I was on vacation (almost 4 hours from home) and I started to have pain. The

next morning, I felt nauseous and the pain was increasing. I knew it was an

ectopic since I had spotting throughout this and I just felt there was a

problem. Anyway, we drove 30 minutes to the nearest major hospital, I got

probed and poked then they determined there was nothing in the uterus.

During the ultrasound, they saw a mass on my left ovary. They initially did

a laprascopy but when they saw the mass (turned out to be a rather large

ovarian cyst) they opened up my belly. Also, during the process of screwing

around with my tube, it wouldn't stop bleeding so they had to remove it.

Lucky for me, I healed without any problems. I was in shock over what had

happened but it finally sunk in when I got home three days later. I laid in

bed and cried (my hubby was at work) and said my goodbyes. It has been over

a year since it happened and even though I think I'm getting over with it,

something happens and I think, " I should be holding my baby now " or something

like that.

I wish we had control over what our bodies did then we wouldn't have any of

these problems. Who knows why these things happen. I used to think that I

had no risk factors for an ep but now that I have had further diagnostic

probing, I have learned that I have a ton of adhesions inside. I believe

that I developed them after my c-section and they somehow interfered with my

right tube. Now they are all over and my only good tube is hosed. Our only

hope to have another child is IVF.

I hope you find the help and some of the answers you are looking for. This

site was my salvation after the ep. I wanted to know everything there was to

know about ep and I just happened to find this place.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. It will be a long recovery, both

physically and emotionally. Don't pay attention to what other people say.

As you will probably learn, they tend to say some pretty thoughtless stuff.

As they have never been through this, they don't understand. Just come

online and vent. We all do.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

Hi all...

I've been sitting here doing some reading, trying to figure this out, feeling

pretty sorry for myself and for all of you that have dealt with this. I must

admit, my pity party is getting me nowhere as tomorrow I still have to return

to the doctor to be repacked. My ob/gyn has his office in the hospital where

my girlfriend just (12/26) delivered her baby girl by c-section. I guess my

excuse of not feeling so well is about to be blown. I was on the maternity

floor after the surgery, you would think they could come up with something a

bit easier to swallow for those of us who don't get to bring babies home.

Listening to those cries of " oh, how cute! " and " she's so big " from down the

hall about made me crazy. I sat there thinking, " shut up, just shut up " .

When I was readmitted for the infection they put me on a different floor but

ONLY because I had an infection and they actually apologised for not letting

me on maternity. I was quietly grateful for the reprieve. I'm kinda scared

about tomorrow because I have a really bad pain on the left side of the

incision. says the incision is opening where I am complaining, this

needs to stop before I go crazy. I am draining huge amounts of fluid

tonight, lots more than the past couple of days, although nothing like when

the abcess ruptured. I am full of complaints and frustration tonight. My

boss called to see how I was feeling and to see if I have been given a date I

can return to work. Since I told him a week ago the doctor said we would

discuss it in 6 weeks I'm not sure what miracle he expects me to pull off

here. Give me strength, patience and faith because I am losing mine. I seem

to be taking some strength and comfort from you all, your letters and sharing

with each other lend support where before I had none. It will be nice when

I can give back some of what I am being given. Til then, know I am grateful

for the caring...KJ

[Guest guest]

Hi KJ--

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time. It's hard enough to

have an ep, but to have complications with the surgery must be doubly

hard. Believe me, I've had many a pity party for myself--the

whole " why me " scenario. If you ask me, we deserve pity parties!

Let us know how you appt. goes tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Hey there,

Believe I know exactly how you feel. One minute Im dancing around

being happy and the next I'm bundle in the corner crying my eyes out.

I'm three weeks out of my lap. which happened on the 1st December,

THe first three days everyone did everything for me, And after I was

walking around there for I must have been fine. All the kind words

stopped and as my crying got more frequent The words like " Are you

still thinking about that? " also got more frequent.

People say so many stupid things. No body can possible understand how

you feel but someone who had one and sometimes not even them. My

aunty had an eptopic in June of 1998 and a week after the Lap she

gave me a One hour Lecture on contracption. Dont let people tell you

that this is less important then your other two children. Where you

planing this baby? That was my Killer I'm 18 and didnt plan my baby

and so everyone was like " Well you didnt really want it anyway " . I

thought I was going to Kill someone. I have never been so close to I

tell you

Vent all you want. It healthy and it definetly helps!

Sorry this is sooo long

My prayer are with you

Blessed be

Willisa

[Guest guest]

KJ,

> I was on the maternity floor after the surgery

How cruel it is torture someone like this after they just lost a

baby...some people have no compassion or common sense.

I hope everything is going ok with your incision.

-Amy R

[Guest guest]

KJ-

I'm sorry that you lost your baby and then had such a rough time with the

whole ordeal.As if you needed more problems.I had my ep 10-17-00 and it does

get easier.These women are the best in the whole.They have helped me more

than anyone could ever know.I hope you will eventually feel the same way.I

was given the suggestion to name my baby,which I named her Hope,and I have a

cotton plush doll that hangs over my bed in memory of my first and only

child.I talk to her and often cry to her and let her know i'm sorry I lost

her.And even though deep down somewhere I know it's not my fault it makes me

feel good to tell her just in case.Do what you need to in order to make

peace with losing him/her.I even have a box with a baby book I made for

her.I write her letters when I miss her or feel bad.It really helps alot.I

wished so bad I could have told the dr to leave my baby alone,I was going to

keep her regardless.But i've healed alot since then even though the pain is

still there.You will heal in time also.Anytime you need to talk just email

away.I'm sending a ((((((HUG)))))) for your pain.

Tina

>From: Metsado@...

>Reply-To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>Subject: new here...

>Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 05:12:01 EST

>

>

>Hi, I am so grateful to have found other women who will understand what I

>am

>talking about!! I have just entered this nightmare and it seems I should

>be "

>over it by now. " On December 1 of this year I found out I was pregnant.

>On

>the 2nd I was in the emergency room with horrible pain and severe bleeding.

>The DR. on call informed me I was miscarrying, sent me for an US, no baby

>could be found so they told me to follow up with my doctor on Monday

>morning.

> I did, and he suspected an ep but couldn't be sure. For the next week we

>had us after us, blood work after blood work, hormone levels rising, not

>enough though to indicate a viable pregnancy. On the 8th, my doctor

>brought

>me into the OR to do laproscopic surgery to locate the pregnancy and remove

>it if it were indeed in the tube. Once in, he located it, in my right

>tube,

>which he could not remove by laproscope so he cut me open, leaving me with

>one less tube and 13 staples across my abdomen. So much for day surgery.

>I

>was in the hospital for 3 days. He released me, some days later I was

>again

>in severe pain, he readmitted to the hospital for a " wound infection " .

>Yeah,

>right...I had an abcess which ruptured before he could open and drain

>it...burst through my by now somewhat healed incision...he kept me for 4

>days

>this time and let me out on Dec. 22 under the conditions that I return

>every

>other day to have the packing and dressing changed since I now have a huge

>open wound. I have to return today...I hate it. I know I had no choice

>but

>to let the doctor remove the pregnancy but I feel I failed my baby. I know

>it was not my fault but I can't help but take blame for it, it was MY body.

>I just want my baby back...I want to be pregnant and be preparing for a

>birth, not dealing with this... I have already been out of work for 3

>weeks,

>looking at being out for another 6 since my doctor told me it will be weeks

>before this heals... I don't understand why this happened in this first

>place. The doctor can't see any obvious risk factors but says sometimes it

>is just a fluke. great...sorry this is soo whiney and depressing...thanks

>for listening. KJ

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

KJ-

It fuuny you say you wanted your mom,as soon as I found out my baby was in

my tubes I called my mom.I cried to her for an hour at least.She lives 12

hrs from me and it was very hard for me.I went through the crying thing.One

min everything is fine five mins later i'm crying my eyes out and yelling at

my dh(dear husband,damned husband in some cases).And I was told that you do

go through post-partum depression.Well, I hope you are feeling better.Take

care.

Tina

>From: Metsado@...

>Reply-To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>Subject: Re: Re: new here...

>Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 22:02:32 EST

>

>

>I am so grateful for all the replies I have received from my post. Today,

>I

>went and had the packing changed again. They are using a montgomery strap

>to

>hold everything together since the incision was blown out when the abcsess

>ruptured. It makes it alot easier on the skin since they don't have to rip

>off tape each time the packing is changed. Dr. Brown said maybe Saturday

>he

>will not re-pack the incison and see if the healing continues. I have seen

>my doctor more from this ectopic pregnancy than if I had carried to term.

>I

>have a 15 year old daughter and an 11 year old son and the song of the day

>seems to be that I have " at least had the chance to raise a family " ...as IF

>this baby meant something less to me since this wasn't my first pregnancy.

>My head aches sometimes from the comments that people throw out...makes me

>wonder WHERE do they get this stuff from?!?!? My mother flew up from

>Florida to spend some time with me last week and left today to return home.

>I cried like a 3 year old, want my mommy, want my mommy, WANT my MOMMY!!

>totally pathetic... Dr, told me today that as my body heals my heart will

>start to hurt...he really is a wonderful doctor, he has been here every

>minute for us. I have noticed that my tears are falling alot more and alot

>easier...one minute I am fine the next I am a lunatic. My hormone levels

>only reached about 3200 before the surgery, is post partum depression an

>issue here? I meant to ask my doctor but forgot. I could talk all

>night...geez. thanks for letting me vent...KJ

_________________________________________________________________

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