Guest guest Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Hey, all Had an epiphany about bounderies, and our nada induced guilt about them, that I wanted to share with the group. Picture this. I decide to have a dinner for some good friends. I like them, I enjoy their company, and I m looking forward to a pleasant evening. I cook a nice meal ( what are you laughing at, guys can cook too! and yes I DO cook, very well , thank you! [] ) and when they arrive, I invite them to the table, set the food out and we begin the meal. As we are making light conversation, I notice one of my friends doesnt fill her plate, but watches patiently until I have mine filled and begin to eat. Without a word of explanation, she reaches with her fork and begins to eat off my plate. She goes on with the conversation as if nothing was happening. When I move my plate further away, and block her the next time she tries, and suggest that she can have all the food she wants, but please put it on her own plate, and don t eat off mine, she begins to cry hysterically, screams at everyone that I m trying to starve her to death. I did nothing wrong. In fact, I acted generously and was doing just the opposite of what she accused in her rage. But what I did was not enough, and she violated my bounderies and did not respect me as a person. In her mind , there was nothing wrong with what she did, and we were all eating the same thing, so she should have been able to do what she chose to do, inappropriate as it was. Of course, non of us would do that. Non of us would tolerate that behavior from a guest or friend. The guilt we inherited from nada or fada tries to convince us otherwise. But bounderies are ok, and do not mean that we are cruel, selfish, or mean. Now that I ve turned the light on with my brilliant insight, go forth and enforce your bounderies. BE FREE. LOL...best Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Is that unbelievable or what? I was using reducto ad absurdum to illustrate a point, never dreaming one would go that far. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution rests! > > > > > > Hey, all > > > > Had an epiphany about bounderies, and our nada induced guilt about > > them, that I wanted to share with the group. > > > > Picture this. I decide to have a dinner for some good friends. I like > > them, I enjoy their company, and I m looking forward to a pleasant > > evening. > > > > I cook a nice meal ( what are you laughing at, guys can cook too! and > > yes I DO cook, very well , thank you! [] ) and when they arrive, I > > invite them to the table, set the food out and we begin the meal. As we > > are making light conversation, I notice one of my friends doesnt fill > > her plate, but watches patiently until I have mine filled and begin to > > eat. Without a word of explanation, she reaches with her fork and begins > > to eat off my plate. She goes on with the conversation as if nothing was > > happening. When I move my plate further away, and block her the next > > time she tries, and suggest that she can have all the food she wants, > > but please put it on her own plate, and don t eat off mine, she begins > > to cry hysterically, screams at everyone that I m trying to starve her > > to death. > > > > I did nothing wrong. In fact, I acted generously and was doing just the > > opposite of what she accused in her rage. But what I did was not enough, > > and she violated my bounderies and did not respect me as a person. In > > her mind , there was nothing wrong with what she did, and we were all > > eating the same thing, so she should have been able to do what she chose > > to do, inappropriate as it was. > > > > Of course, non of us would do that. Non of us would tolerate that > > behavior from a guest or friend. > > > > > > > > The guilt we inherited from nada or fada tries to convince us otherwise. > > > > > > > > But bounderies are ok, and do not mean that we are cruel, selfish, or > > mean. > > > > > > > > Now that I ve turned the light on with my brilliant insight, go forth > > and enforce your bounderies. > > > > > > > > BE FREE. > > > > > > > > LOL...best > > > > Doug > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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