Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Sara Jo I am so sorry that you are going through this. I would endure nada's severe and horrible attacks because I wanted to have a " mother " . But her attacks got worse and worse every time I would set and maintain a boundary. The anxiety attacks would inevitably follow and last for days anytime I would think about her or decide to go see her on a holiday or birthday weekend. The last attack, she said some horrible, angry words to me that cut like a knife. That was the last time I saw her and have been NC ever since. I am not encouraging NC for you. That is something that is difficult to decide and live with and something you need to decide for yourself and your situation. To help with my anxiety, I would often journal my thoughts and feelings. You are using both sides of your brain so writing what you feel often leads to discovery. I would write about how angry, scared, hurt, frustrated, etc. I was. Working out and exercising helped, too. I talked to a doctor, too about getting on some anti-anxiety, but because my husband and I are trying to start a family, we decided that wasn't the best thing for me. however, since I have been NC, the anxiety attacks have lessened, but not stopped. Finally, I surrounded myself around positive, loving friends and family members. The idea that you have full, loving, wonderful life without your nada's attacks is often comforting. Good luck and blessings, AJ > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Thanks, AJ. That is all great advice. I went two years going NC with my nada. We starting talking again a little over 6 months ago. I'm surprised it took a whole 6 months for this disaster to happen again. We did LC and it worked great, until this week. I am probably going back to NC. It might just be the only way. I can't have these attacks anymore. They are taking too much of a toll on me. ~Sara Jo > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Sara jo > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Sara Jo, I wish I could tell you a magical answer to fix that problem, but the best I can do is say that I understand completely. I got a 10 minute call from my stepnada the other day, pretty innocuous stuff after she belittled me for not dropping my life and calling her back immediately.... after which, for two weeks, I was useless at work for lack of focus. 10 minutes. That's all it took! And I'm not a kid anymore either. It finally helped me get around the other corner of it to up my usual happy-pill (anti-depressant) dose by a small amount to get me " over the hump. " You know, if anyone has a reason to go on anti-depressants, it's KOs. I used to feel shame about it but don't anymore. In fact, it would be just if my stepnada felt personally responsible for me being on anti-depressants, because she is. But she won't. So I use the happy pills to help make up for the seratonin that I as a KO was entitled to receive but didn't. We do what we have to do. With much hugs and utterly understanding sympathy, Tina P.S. By the way she had called because my dad was having a recurrence of a blood clot (a DVT, which is life-threatening) for which she would not allow him to take the absolutely necessary HOSPITAL convalescence, because " who would do the grocery shopping? I can't drive any more. How on earth would we survive? " Bullshit and baloney. Ain't nobody can thrive on bullshit and baloney. So go get your happy pills and don't look back. > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Xanax and EMDR. > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 What's EMDR? I've never taken Xanax. I used to watch my nada swallow 10 at a time though.... > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Sara jo > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Hi SJ, Sometimes when I find myself stuck in seemingly uncontrollable anxiety, it helps to find the part of me that's afraid and validate the fear, and make a promise to that part of myself (ie, a younger part), that I will do whatever makes me feel safe and protected. The bulk of my anxiety seems to come from trying to deny my fear is real or justified, and trying to force myself to walk into danger. The more I learn to honor my fears and discomforts and to protect myself on purpose, and also to get in touch with my younger parts, the better I feel. Have you looked into dissociative identity disorder? It's possible to have younger ages in you that are afraid, that you can access and soothe, without actually having multiple personalities. In fact mild DID is a common response to being raised with a nada, and often accompanies complex PTSD--from what I understand. I had an amazing therapist for awhile who was adept at 'ego-state' therapy. I highly recommend this. Best, Charlotte > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > Thanks, > > > Sara jo > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 I've started EMDR myself. Here's some info: http://www.emdr.com/ As for 10 Xanax, anything can be abused or used correctly. When you're really freaking out, it can calm you down. It's like a band aid. > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > Thanks, > > > Sara jo > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Ah, nice. I've done that. > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 That is a good idea. You really need to find the source of your anxiety. For me, its always spurred when I do something or are forced to go somewhere I don't want to go. As a child, nada always forced me to go places and even like the things she liked or was interested in. It was like I wasn't able to have my own thoughts or opinions. So now, whenever I am doing something I don't want to do, or I don't say what I want to say or even when someone tests a boundary I set in place (i.e: when you say " no " to something but they keep pushing you), I immediately go into high level anxiety until I fix it. Find the source of your anxiety and you will begin to heal. AJ Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Re: Severe Anxiety... Ah, nice. I've done that. > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Sara jo, I was actually thinking of going back on LC with my nada but reading about your situation made me think twice so thanks for that! AJ Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Re: Severe Anxiety... Thanks, AJ. That is all great advice. I went two years going NC with my nada. We starting talking again a little over 6 months ago. I'm surprised it took a whole 6 months for this disaster to happen again. We did LC and it worked great, until this week. I am probably going back to NC. It might just be the only way. I can't have these attacks anymore. They are taking too much of a toll on me. ~Sara Jo > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Sara jo > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Good to see you Sara Jo... I take Formula 303, you can find it online at Amazon. It is a natural relaxant and it works amazing!!! I was told by my counselor to take 4 when things were really rough. It was made for muscle spasms and they found that it was good for stress too. I haven't had my back go completely out in over a year since using these for that too. Good luck....hang in there girl :0) drlingirl > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2010 Report Posted July 8, 2010 Hi Sara Jo, it's bad when it is like that. Usually it hits me right in the solar plexus - feels like my soul got sucked out there, very unpleasant. I think it comes down to where in our bodies we absorb or store the pain the most from what happens with them. If you want to try something alternative, give this a go. This is a type of meditation. 1. get in a comfy sitting position 2. start observing when you breathe in and out, label each one " in " and " out " in your mind just for a few breaths till you feel a little focused 3. Then start taking your pulse and note how many beats happen for each in breath and each out breath 4. Then pick the number inbewteen, say 7, and breath in for the count of seven heartbeats and out to the count of seven heartbeats 5. Then just keep doing it and when you feel ready focus on your heart where the pain is while doing this and continue on. There's a good chance this will result in the feeling you are having releasing or at least changing. Now...the downside, it'll take a bit of will to do this in the current state of mind you are in, but it's worth it. > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2010 Report Posted July 9, 2010 it sounds exhausting. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Didn't you say you work with your sister? That would be almost unbearable for me. It would probably take some spiritual stuff to get me right again after that, and dealing with the anxiety of seeing someone like this every day even though you are 'cut off'. I am not religious and don't have a defined spirituality but it might take some thing like zen or the tao to get me through it. > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2010 Report Posted July 9, 2010 Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I just placed an order for that formula 303. It was so cheap I thought why not try it. Today is a lot better than the rest of the week has been. Now I just feel angry and confused, but my general anxiety level has gone down some. I've got a busy weekend ahead of me. Hopefully that will keep my mind off of nada. She is so nasty and destructive. and my sis is now just like her. Such a shame, because my sis has such an awesome personality when she isn't being like nada. ~sara jo > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Sara jo > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2010 Report Posted July 9, 2010 Sara Jo, I haven't read ahead to see what others have replied, but here goes anyway. :-) I told my family doc years ago that my mother was driving me crazy, telling him just a little of the story, and he prescribed a low dose of Ativan that I take when the anxiety gets too bad. He was extemely understanding. Now all I have to do when the situation gets dire is call and tell the nurse that I she's causing me stress and they will refill the scrip. I don't take them every day, or even necessarily every week or even month. I realize drugs aren't a long term solution but they do take the edge off which makes it easier for us to find long term solutions. Em Sent from my blueberry. > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating > with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is > practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with > them. > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience > such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I > had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex > Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at > handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't > get a grip. > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only > way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get > nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I > have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on > anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever > experienced. > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? > How do you make it better? > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for > some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, > I'm just a zombie. > > What are some things that have helped you? > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary > medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for > " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know > what I mean? > > guidance here is appreciated. > > Thanks, > Sara jo > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2010 Report Posted July 9, 2010 Thanks, Em. If this Formula 303 doesn't work, I will have to go to my Dr. next. > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating > > with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is > > practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with > > them. > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience > > such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I > > had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex > > Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at > > handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't > > get a grip. > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only > > way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get > > nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I > > have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on > > anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever > > experienced. > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? > > How do you make it better? > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for > > some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, > > I'm just a zombie. > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary > > medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for > > " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know > > what I mean? > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Sara jo > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2010 Report Posted July 11, 2010 Hi Sara; Every morning when I wake up I get this same anxiety. And I wake up exactly 6 hours after I go to sleep, no matter when I go to sleep. I try to ride it out by rolling over and turning on the radio because I desperately want to go back to sleep - but it doesn't work. I have to get up and drink some water - at least - and sometimes a bananna - to make it go away. I have to have the radio on, something with a lot of talking to distract me. By the time it's gone, I can't fall back asleep. Funny thing about it, when I am first aware of being awake, before I start thinking anything, I'm fine, in fact, I'll notice how comfortable I am - then it hits me. Then I am very uncomfortable. And freaked out, and depressed. And my nada is dead, and most of my family is good to me - and knows well how horrible she was. So what's my reason for having it? Hmmm, probably my mentally ill estranged husband and daughter, wondering what they'll do next. And complex PTSD. Wish I could help. If I figure it out, I'll post something. What I do try to remember is that worrying has no power - and that nadas will make you think that if you worry about something you can somehow make it better. And I pray - a lot - for peace - before I got to sleep and it really does help. Hmmm, I'll have to try that in the morning too. But you know how it is, you just want to go back to sleep! And once this daily anxiety routine stops (within an hour or so), I'm pretty good. Flowers in Oz -----Original Message----- > > I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. >There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > >Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? >In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2010 Report Posted July 11, 2010 Hey Flowers, Same thing with me. I will wake up and feel fine, comfortable. Then it all comes flowing into me. It's intense at first, but wears off as the day goes on, then begins again the next morning. So strange how our bodies react to this stuff. It makes me so....tired. ~Sara Jo > > > Hi Sara; > > Every morning when I wake up I get this same anxiety. And I wake up exactly 6 hours after I go to sleep, no matter when I go to sleep. I try to ride it out by rolling over and turning on the radio because I desperately want to go back to sleep - but it doesn't work. I have to get up and drink some water - at least - and sometimes a bananna - to make it go away. I have to have the radio on, something with a lot of talking to distract me. By the time it's gone, I can't fall back asleep. > > Funny thing about it, when I am first aware of being awake, before I start thinking anything, I'm fine, in fact, I'll notice how comfortable I am - then it hits me. Then I am very uncomfortable. And freaked out, and depressed. And my nada is dead, and most of my family is good to me - and knows well how horrible she was. So what's my reason for having it? Hmmm, probably my mentally ill estranged husband and daughter, wondering what they'll do next. And complex PTSD. > > Wish I could help. If I figure it out, I'll post something. What I do try to remember is that worrying has no power - and that nadas will make you think that if you worry about something you can somehow make it better. And I pray - a lot - for peace - before I got to sleep and it really does help. Hmmm, I'll have to try that in the morning too. But you know how it is, you just want to go back to sleep! > > And once this daily anxiety routine stops (within an hour or so), I'm pretty good. > > Flowers in Oz > > -----Original Message----- > > > > I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > >There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > >Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > >In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2010 Report Posted July 14, 2010 dear sara jo, i too have that complex ptsd dx.. and have benefitted from medication quite a bit.. and not just 'to take pills,' but to be able to get a grip, take a little off the edge of the anxiety without numbing my feelings completely.. then got some help with counseling..  i found a dr. i could trust and she worked with me to find the right choice for me at the right dose.  it helped me be able to sleep (i was terrified of falling asleep when flashbacks would happen).. now after help with the counseling i work with mild anxiety and can function without the terror and pain.  but i will never forget it .. help is out there for you, support groups and giftfromwithin.org are good too i have found.  best wishes to you, it can be really bad but the future can get better.  may we all heal.  ann Subject: Severe Anxiety... To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Thursday, July 8, 2010, 2:47 PM  I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. What are some things that have helped you? I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? guidance here is appreciated. Thanks, Sara jo Quote
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2010 Report Posted July 14, 2010 Sara jo, I too like Ann have PTSD- and I know that horrible physical reaction because all the emotional attacks from nada. I do take anti anxiety medication to help ease that terrible feeling you described in your first post on this topic. Hang in there- you are not alone! Take care of yourself, Malinda > > > Subject: Severe Anxiety... > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Date: Thursday, July 8, 2010, 2:47 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > Thanks, > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2010 Report Posted July 14, 2010 Thanks everyone. I do want to update that I have started taking this stuff called Formula 303. It's an all natural relaxant, and I think it really works. It definitely isn't presciption strength of course, however, it does take the edge off to allow me to sleep at night, and to do other things, like eat, and just breathe. Prescriptions are fine for most people, but I think I would like them too much. I fear forming addictions to stuff like that. When I like something, I find it too hard to restrain myself. (Good thing I don't like the taste of most alcohol). I also started therapy again this week. I will be going every Monday. When the therapist asked me what my goal was, I told her that I wanted peace in my life, and that I wanted to be able to enjoy the good in spite of the bad. Those were my goals last time i was in therapy from 2007-2008. I feel like I'm back to square one. I just don't understand after all I've been through, after all I've learned, how I let this happen to me again. I thought my panic attack days were over. I thought I had control. But I don't. SOOO frustrating! Maybe this time things will sink in better. ~Sara Jo > > > > From: sara j <SaraJo@> > > Subject: Severe Anxiety... > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > Date: Thursday, July 8, 2010, 2:47 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2010 Report Posted July 15, 2010 Dear Charlotte, I looked up dissociative identity disorder. That is just another name for Multiple Personality disorder. I know I've got some mental issues to deal with, but I don't think MPD is one of them. ~Sara Jo > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2010 Report Posted July 15, 2010 I have dissociative identity disorder..if you had it, you would more than likely know. You'd be missing huge gaps of time and hear voices inside your head...(not to be confused with being heard outside of your head as in schizophrenia). Re: Severe Anxiety... Dear Charlotte, I looked up dissociative identity disorder. That is just another name for Multiple Personality disorder. I know I've got some mental issues to deal with, but I don't think MPD is one of them. ~Sara Jo > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2010 Report Posted July 15, 2010 , I'm sorry that you have to deal with this disorder. That is terrible. I've never heard voices, and my memory is pretty strong. I couldn't imagine going through that, missing blocks of time. How long have you been suffering from this? ~Sara Jo > > > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2010 Report Posted July 15, 2010 Dear SJ, Oh no, I hope I didn't offend you. I didn't mean to imply anything denigrating at all. I don't have MPD/DID either, but I do have what are called 'split off' 'ego states', caused by consistent childhood trauma and captivity dynamics, and I have found that the key to truly relieving my anxiety is to be able to access these various ages within, and protect myself fully. I am no expert on these conditions, but from what I understand, the talk-therapy aspect of treatment is similar to DID, and so that's why I called it 'mild DID'. I hope that you find whatever best helps your anxiety! --Charlotte > > > > > > > > > > I recently posted about how my nada attacked me about associating with my father and his family, now her and my sister (who is practically controlled by NADA) have just cut me out of their lives. > > > > > > > > > > I can accept the fact that there will be no more relationship with them. > > > > > > > > > > But everytime I get one of these " attacks " from nada, I experience such severe anxiety, that it interferes with my day to day life. I had a therapist tell me a few years ago that it's due to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and for a while I got really good at handling this stuff. But for some reason, this time, I just can't get a grip. > > > > > There is this awful pain I feel in the middle of my body. The only way to describe it is that my heart hurts. It radiates. I can't get nada and sis out of my head. My hands are always shaky. Sometimes I have shallow breathing. I can't focus at work...I can't focus on anything good. It's worse than any physical atrocity I've ever experienced. > > > > > > > > > > Do any of you ever experience this? If so, how have you handled it? How do you make it better? > > > > > In the past I just kind of rode it out. This time is rougher for some reason, and I really need to be focused at work. And at home, I'm just a zombie. > > > > > > > > > > What are some things that have helped you? > > > > > > > > > > I thought about going to my Dr to try and get some temporary medication to calm me down, but I feel really bad about asking for " nerve pills " . I don't want the Dr to think I just want pills...know what I mean? > > > > > > > > > > guidance here is appreciated. > > > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > > Sara jo > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote
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