Guest guest Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 Tricia, no you are not bleating, but wow, I feel for you. As parents, we have so many decisions to make, it's overwhelming - especially when it feels like each one is like a life and death decision. " Will I make or break my child's life with this one decision? " This is a tough one, and I agree with in going with your gut. Also, remember that once you make a decision, you can change your mind at any time, so don't feel " stuck " . Andy is almost 23, is profoundly deaf and communicates in sign language and written communication with people who can't sign. He has gone through a variety of education programs in 5 states (we were able to move for his education), including a special ed preschool, deaf ed preschool, deaf ed program of 50 kids within a regular elementary school, residential school summer school, and finally, a mainstream high school with interpreter/intervener. I think one of the most important factors to look for in a school(right behind educational expertise) is the ATTITUDE of the staff/student body/administration in whatever program you look at. I think that's what Bonnie praises about Perkins and why Kim thinks so highly of Dylan's' placement at the AZ school for the deaf. Attitude goes a LONG way. For example, we've had positive and negative experiences at schools for the deaf. One school accepted and embraced Andy and provided him every support he needed to be successful, including an administration that respected him as an individual. Another deaf residential school, on the other hand, held an attitude of oppression. Andy wasn't a " vanilla deaf " student, so he was picked on. After one week, I asked the residential coordinator if this was normal, and to his response of " Yes " , I asked how long it might last - days?, months?, years?. His reply..... " maybe a couple of years. " It was incredulous! It was clear to me, the entire campus, top down, held this attitude and Andy did not return after his first week. I hate to think of the potential abuse he may have endured. Sometimes deaf culture isn't always the best culture for our kids........I'm in trouble now for putting that in print!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take time to check out your options, look at the programs, what is the pervasive attitude in the classroom and on campus? See if you can talk to other parents who have their children there. Are they involved at the school? Does the school welcome parent involvement? What does Cameron feel about it? Is he able to make a well informed decision? He may have the best feel of all. If your gut tells you no, then you will know, but at least you have checked out the options! Good luck and hugs to you as you make your decision. Sally(mom to Andy, 23 and rejuvenating every day!) > > Subject: Re: I am Holland > > Hi > Thanks for sending the poem. Glad it has stirred up everyones attention, and > shown what a talented bunch of kids we have. > > I'm in the throes of a personal dilemma at the moment. > Cameron starts Intermediate School next year and I have to choose which one. > The obvious choice is the one 100yds down the road but my gut instinct tells > me he should be with his own culture and attending a Deaf school. Although > he has a cochlear implant, which gives him an awareness of sound, he will > always be sign reliant. > > There are only 2 Deaf schools in NZ - one in Auckland and one in > Christchurch. Boths 100's of miles away from my city. We're going to the one > in Christchurch for an assessment in October, and if he fits in there, it > brings more gutwrenching decisions. Do we all uproot or does he board in one > of the family homes on the school campus??? DO we give him one term down > there before we move - in case he doesnt like it?? > SOme say letting him board will help him grow and gain independence. I keep > thinking 'will his caregivers cope with his little quirks?' Maybe he wont > have so many behaviour issues when he's not frustrated by communication > problems. > Its doing my head in!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Things dont really get better, do they? Each stage/age brings its own unique > set of challenges. > Time to quit bleating. > Tricia - mum to Cameron 12 yrs old > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 I know I can do nothing to help, but I feel your pain--and wish I could!!!! keep on fighting for what you need and know we are behind you 200%! maria RE: Personal dilemma! > > Pam: it was a relief to see your post! Alas, Andy and I arrive with one > evening and must leave the following morning, so we can't have a > meeting. I like the idea of faxing or even mailing the local papers, but > whether i can find time prior to our departure is a question. I don't > remember if I've told you that " state " is now saying it will not comply with > the Court of Appeals ruling that it must reimburse us for many of the Due > Process expenses (please note that state, nevertheless, is not appealing > the decision!)? When Sharon (att) called me with the news, I screamed > " what " in disbelief; when I phoned A. at the office, he did exactly the same > thing. Needless to say, we are in ---- I don't know what to call it. I'm just fed > up. However, as a dear psychologist friend reminded me today, we know > what we have to do. Oh, but I'm sick of the whole thing. That said, this stuff > for must come first, so i guess we'll have to work on it via phone, fax, > and email. I'm sorry that there's no one to throttle!. Above mentioned > psychologist has long suggested that A. and i throw eggs against walls, > trees, etc.; I've held off, knowing that someone would probably have to > clean afterwards. I'm beginning to suspect, however, that his idea is > probably right on target. Please let know about our latest wrinkle with > MO. I just don't feel like writing endlessly. Sorry we'll miss seeing you next > week --- Martha > > > > Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation. > For information about the CHARGE Syndrome > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter) > please contact marion@... or visit > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page > at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > 7th International > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005. Information will be available at our website > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 I know I can do nothing to help, but I feel your pain--and wish I could!!!! keep on fighting for what you need and know we are behind you 200%! maria RE: Personal dilemma! > > Pam: it was a relief to see your post! Alas, Andy and I arrive with one > evening and must leave the following morning, so we can't have a > meeting. I like the idea of faxing or even mailing the local papers, but > whether i can find time prior to our departure is a question. I don't > remember if I've told you that " state " is now saying it will not comply with > the Court of Appeals ruling that it must reimburse us for many of the Due > Process expenses (please note that state, nevertheless, is not appealing > the decision!)? When Sharon (att) called me with the news, I screamed > " what " in disbelief; when I phoned A. at the office, he did exactly the same > thing. Needless to say, we are in ---- I don't know what to call it. I'm just fed > up. However, as a dear psychologist friend reminded me today, we know > what we have to do. Oh, but I'm sick of the whole thing. That said, this stuff > for must come first, so i guess we'll have to work on it via phone, fax, > and email. I'm sorry that there's no one to throttle!. Above mentioned > psychologist has long suggested that A. and i throw eggs against walls, > trees, etc.; I've held off, knowing that someone would probably have to > clean afterwards. I'm beginning to suspect, however, that his idea is > probably right on target. Please let know about our latest wrinkle with > MO. I just don't feel like writing endlessly. Sorry we'll miss seeing you next > week --- Martha > > > > Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation. > For information about the CHARGE Syndrome > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter) > please contact marion@... or visit > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page > at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > 7th International > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005. Information will be available at our website > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 I know I can do nothing to help, but I feel your pain--and wish I could!!!! keep on fighting for what you need and know we are behind you 200%! maria RE: Personal dilemma! > > Pam: it was a relief to see your post! Alas, Andy and I arrive with one > evening and must leave the following morning, so we can't have a > meeting. I like the idea of faxing or even mailing the local papers, but > whether i can find time prior to our departure is a question. I don't > remember if I've told you that " state " is now saying it will not comply with > the Court of Appeals ruling that it must reimburse us for many of the Due > Process expenses (please note that state, nevertheless, is not appealing > the decision!)? When Sharon (att) called me with the news, I screamed > " what " in disbelief; when I phoned A. at the office, he did exactly the same > thing. Needless to say, we are in ---- I don't know what to call it. I'm just fed > up. However, as a dear psychologist friend reminded me today, we know > what we have to do. Oh, but I'm sick of the whole thing. That said, this stuff > for must come first, so i guess we'll have to work on it via phone, fax, > and email. I'm sorry that there's no one to throttle!. Above mentioned > psychologist has long suggested that A. and i throw eggs against walls, > trees, etc.; I've held off, knowing that someone would probably have to > clean afterwards. I'm beginning to suspect, however, that his idea is > probably right on target. Please let know about our latest wrinkle with > MO. I just don't feel like writing endlessly. Sorry we'll miss seeing you next > week --- Martha > > > > Membership of this email support groups does not constitute membership in the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation. > For information about the CHARGE Syndrome > Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter) > please contact marion@... or visit > the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation web page > at http://www.chargesyndrome.org > 7th International > CHARGE Syndrome Conference, Miami Beach, Florida, July 22-24, 2005. Information will be available at our website > www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-. In Canada, you may contact CHARGE Syndrome Canada at 1- (families), visit www.chargesyndrome.ca, or email info@.... Thank you! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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