Re: Attachment parenting and the Family bed

April 4, 1999

In a message dated 4/4/99 11:16:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Mom2Natali@... writes:

<< I was wondering if anyone practices attachment parenting or has a family

bed. >>

I SURE DO!!!!! <A

HREF= " http://members.aol.com/cadesmama/page2/index.htm " >ATTACHMENT PARENTING

FOR TEENS

</A> HERES MY WEBPAGE!! I OVE SLEEPING WITH CADE---WE TRIED THE CRIB ONE

NIGHT (ROLLED RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED) BUT I COULD ONLY LEAVE HIM THERE FOR 5

MINUTES--I WAS COLD AND LONELY LOL--ALLI

April 4, 1999

Alli,

Actually I already had the link to your page. I was reading it earlier

before I asked. sleeps with me and my dh. She is so used to it, she's

in my lap asleep because if I lay her down, she wakes right up and cries. My

dh's dad told us 2 weeks ago we needed to get out of our bed. I just

looked at him and said " yeah, right " . It's weird, his family isn't supportive

of a family bed and mine don't care either way, and my family isn't

supportive of breastfeeding. Go figure, lol. But, I don't care we're happy

with it this way, but dh has concerns about intimacy. So far, goes to

the swing with the moniter and we go to the other room, lol. Oh, well.

<3,

Robin

P.S.

I don't remember where I got the link from

April 5, 1999

Robin,

I do, have and will in the future. My daughter slept with us until after her

brother was born so about 6 years. Zaid probably won't last that long as he is

a very easy sleeper. My dd was a reluctant sleeper to say the least. Having a

family bed is great. Waking up to my beauties can't compare to anything and I

sleep better with him right there. If he wakes up I just roll over and nurse

and sleep. We have a queen bed with a twin sidecar that Zaid sleeps in. I go

down and nurse him and then get back in bed with dh when I am done. Zaid's bed

is wedged in between the wall and our bed so he can't roll off. I will let him

stay until he is ready to leave or another baby pushes him out. My daughter

would have been really hard to cope with if we hadn't let her sleep with us. It

was a struggle with her as everyone around me was telling me I was crazy for it.

It worked for me and our family. I hope this helps.

Wendi

Attachment parenting and the Family bed

From: Mom2Natali@...

I was wondering if anyone practices attachment parenting or has a family bed.

If so how has it worked for you? And when did your children leave your bed?

<3,

Robin

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April 5, 1999

Robin,

I am tring the attached parenting thing but this is my first so I don't know

how long Skyler will sleep with us. I would like to have her in her crib by

the time she sleeps throught the night. She is 2 months old now.

Attachment parenting and the Family bed

>From: Mom2Natali@...

>

>I was wondering if anyone practices attachment parenting or has a family

bed.

>If so how has it worked for you? And when did your children leave your bed?

><3,

> Robin

>

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April 5, 1999

Hello everyone. We practice attachment parenting with our 5 1/2 mo old Noah.

I read Dr. Sears baby book and loved it. We actually didn't plan on the

family bed, it just happened. Noah would wake up immediately whenever we

tried to put him in his crib. We gave up trying and brought him in our bed. I

love having him near. Bf is so easy at night, I don't even sit up. I just

roll over and once he latches on, I go back to sleep. He still wakes every 2

hours to nurse. I could not imagine having to get out of bed that much every

night. Of course, family and friends think we are crazy. " Aren't you afraid

you will roll on him?? " is the most asked question. None of these people ever

bf any of their babies either. I have also been getting the suggestions of

giving cereal to help him sleep longer. I am pretty confident in our

parenting so I just basically ignore most people.

I do have to vent about a friend of mine. She gave her infant cereal in

bottle (formula feeding) at 2 days of age!!! Because she was waking every 2

hours. What does she expect?? It was her second baby too so she must have had

some idea that newborns are not meant to sleep through the night. Well, I saw

her this weekend with her dh who is now 10 wks. She asked me if Noah was

sleeping through the night yet. She is upset that her dh wakes for one

feeding at 3 am. If Noah only woke for one feeding a night, I would be

jumping for joy!!

Thanks for listening to me vent about this!

April 5, 1999

We practice the family bed with Verity too. Bethany was formula fed and slept

through the night from 6 weeks(not saying the two are neccesarily related

though!).

With Lawrence I bfed him and at seven months he was waking about every hour

at night. I was totally uneducated at the time about natural parenting and

would put him back in his cot everytime. I was totally exhausted but too

uptight to sleep well with him in bed with me. Mainly because the advice on

protecting against sids at the time (and still is I think) was NOT to sleep

with your baby.

I decided to sleep train him. It did work. The first night he cried for 45

minutes - with me going in every 5 minutes, the second night was 1/2 an hour

and the third night 15 minutes. After that it was minor whimpering and the

night wakings magically stopped as well.

I remember struggling to justify what I was doing to myself at the time and

thinking about primitive cultures and how they reared babies, but every

single book I read said sleep train. I knew nothing about AP. In the end I

justified it to myself by saying that I was no good as a mother if I was

exhausted in the day and it would be better for both of us if I trained him.

I regret training him now, when I got on the net I was amazed to find there

were a whole load of people who didn't agree with sleep training or

'ferberizing' (took me ages to work out what that was!) I was quite cross,

like 'why didn't I know that I didn't have to do that?'

Anyway, Verity and I are now co-sleeping converts, I will never sleep train

her and can't imagine how I managed to do that to Lawrence. I bonded very

deeply with Lawrence and I can't believe I didn't follow my instincts. He is

quite an insecure and introverted little boy and I do wonder if any of that

is due to the fact that I abandoned him at night from 7 months. Oh well, you

live and learn right? I wonder if I would've sleep trained Verity by now if I

hadn't got connected to the net, or if I would've learned to trust my

insticts?

Hannah(UK)

Mum to Bethany nearly 5, Lawrence 3 and Verity 10 months

April 5, 1999

In a message dated 4/4/99 10:58:06 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Mom2Natali@... writes:

<< If so how has it worked for you? And when did your children leave your

bed? >>

We are extremely attached parents. We love it! It is the only type of

parenting style that came naturally to me. Both my kids are in our bed. Now

that they are older they only come in in the morning. But there are those

nights they are with us from midnight on, & that is ok too! It works for us!

There is an attachment parent list @ onelist too, check it out!!

Cristina Mom to Amber 7/11/94 & Austin 10/31/97

April 5, 1999

In a message dated 4/5/99 12:53:34 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

Mom2Natali@... writes:

<< T's weird, his family isn't supportive

of a family bed >>

I just have to comment on this. When I had my DD my family said that I had to

get her out of my bed because I was spoiling her. (As if, spoiling means left

to rot, but that's another story.) Anyway, I just looked them dead in the

face & said, " Amber is MY baby. & what goes on in my home is MY deal. I am

the one who will face it if it becomes a problem, so keep your comments to

yourself. What goes on in MY home is my life. Not yours, OK? Now pass me the

bread. " We were having dinner. No comments about the family bed since then.

Cristina

April 5, 1999

,

I just wanted to add that I was given cereal the day I came home from the

hospital. I am the youngest (I have one older sister) and my mom did get me

to sleep through the night. Nothing was wrong with me, but this is NOT

something I would do to my children. Just wanted to share.

<3,

Robin

April 5, 1999

We do practice attachment parenting, but at first we didn't have a family

bed. slept in the bassinet beside me until she was too big for it.

Then she slept in the cradle. She would sleep fo 6-7 hrs straight before

waking, but the I would get her and try to sit up to feed her and be too

tired. So, she ended up in bed with us and it kind developed from there. Now

she very seldom sleeps without her mommy (or sometimes daddy).I do have a

sling, but she expects me to be walking if she's in it so we don't use it at

home much.

<3,

Robin

April 5, 1999

In a message dated 4/5/99 5:59:44 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

HHamer1810@... writes:

<< Mainly because the advice on

protecting against sids at the time (and still is I think) was NOT to sleep

with your baby. >>

nope---the majority of the experts now agree that sharing sleep reduces

thesids risk!

April 5, 1999

In a message dated 4/5/99 9:36:16 AM Pacific Daylight Time, Debstmomy@...

writes:

<< As if, spoiling means left

to rot, but that's another story. >>

this is my favorite expression--you dont know how many times ive had to say

this to johns family!! you got it from the la leche book right?

April 5, 1999

Robin,

Many of us here practice AP and the family bed. My 17 mob sleeps with us off

and on...whenever he seems to need to. He slept with us exclusivley for 15-16

months, but also likes his space sometimes. I am a strong believer that

children can tell us a lot about their needs, we just need to learn to

listen. It makes sense to me...whenever my needs are met, I can give more

and feel more whole. I guess I want the same for my children. My oldest son

slept in the same room as us for a long time. He transitioned out on his own

(mostly with a little bit of verbal encouragement) when he was about 2 1/2.

- Jake 3-11-94 & Clay 10-22-97

April 5, 1999

hannah,

do you have the book " The Baby Book " by dr. Sears? Its a great book for

attached parenting.

I do think that alot of things about attached parenting is just following

your insticts. I have also heard tons of people tell me to just let em cry,

they need to put themselves to sleep etc.

I tried to put Skyler in her bassanet about 6 am after I fed her and she

would not settle down, she kept grunting and kicking and everytime her

pacifer fell out she would get really upset so I put her back in bed with me

and it was like magic, she was fine. I do think the family bed will be

easier when she isn't as small and fragile, she is 2 months and just over 10

pounds, I do feel like I might roll over on her so I always sleep facing her

and if I want to roll over I have to put her on the other side. I do not

change positions when she is next to me so I do miss taking up all the space

I want but I know I wouldn't get any sleep if I put she in the bassanet or

crib. Let me tell you..with the amount that we have used (or don't use I

should say ) the bassanet I am glad that we didn't pay for it (sister loaned

it to us)

candice

Re: Attachment parenting and the Family bed

>From: HHamer1810@...

>

>We practice the family bed with Verity too. Bethany was formula fed and

slept

>through the night from 6 weeks(not saying the two are neccesarily related

>though!).

>

>With Lawrence I bfed him and at seven months he was waking about every hour

>at night. I was totally uneducated at the time about natural parenting and

>would put him back in his cot everytime. I was totally exhausted but too

>uptight to sleep well with him in bed with me. Mainly because the advice on

>protecting against sids at the time (and still is I think) was NOT to sleep

>with your baby.

>

>I decided to sleep train him. It did work. The first night he cried for 45

>minutes - with me going in every 5 minutes, the second night was 1/2 an

hour

>and the third night 15 minutes. After that it was minor whimpering and the

>night wakings magically stopped as well.

>I remember struggling to justify what I was doing to myself at the time and

>thinking about primitive cultures and how they reared babies, but every

>single book I read said sleep train. I knew nothing about AP. In the end I

>justified it to myself by saying that I was no good as a mother if I was

>exhausted in the day and it would be better for both of us if I trained

him.

>

>I regret training him now, when I got on the net I was amazed to find

there

>were a whole load of people who didn't agree with sleep training or

>'ferberizing' (took me ages to work out what that was!) I was quite cross,

>like 'why didn't I know that I didn't have to do that?'

>

>Anyway, Verity and I are now co-sleeping converts, I will never sleep train

>her and can't imagine how I managed to do that to Lawrence. I bonded very

>deeply with Lawrence and I can't believe I didn't follow my instincts. He

is

>quite an insecure and introverted little boy and I do wonder if any of that

>is due to the fact that I abandoned him at night from 7 months. Oh well,

you

>live and learn right? I wonder if I would've sleep trained Verity by now if

I

>hadn't got connected to the net, or if I would've learned to trust my

>insticts?

>

>Hannah(UK)

>Mum to Bethany nearly 5, Lawrence 3 and Verity 10 months

>

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>

April 5, 1999

,

People seem to think that cereal will actually help a baby sleep longer. This

is not true many times. If the baby's digestive system is not ready to handle

cereal, it will cause MORE problems and the baby will wake even more. I

don't know why people think that we will roll onto our babies. Do you hear of

this happening anywhere? If it happened frequently at all, I am sure it

would be published somewhere. It sounds like you know all of the great

benefits from what you are providing. Good for you!

April 5, 1999

Hannah,

You live, you learn!

April 5, 1999

about having her on your lap to sleep. Paige is the same way. Do you have

a sling? If you don't I highly recommend you get one. It free's your arms

but still allows baby to remain close.

We do practice attachement parenting, but add and take away bits and pieces

to fit us better. for example, paige is in our room , but in her crib

during the night. she does however, spend the last part of her sleep in

bed with me when andy gets up for work. on the weekends she spends it with

both of us ( and I am a nervous wreck because andy is a mover!) that is

the way it works best for us. I don't think attachment parenting is a very

strict set way, I feel the basic idea is to take cues from your child, and

be a responsive parent.

Jenn (24)

DH:Andy

DD:Paige (1-13-99)

homepage: http://www.geocities.com/heartland/cottage/1595

Web Page I designed for DH's workplace : http://www.rccopy.com

April 5, 1999

,

My daughter never slept through the night until 3 1/2 yo. That was everyone's

favorite question. I guess that is the good mother barometer in most people's

mind. I get up and go to the bathroom during the night, how can I expect my

kids to sleep through that entire time. The Discipline Book by Sears & Sears is

great, it has great ideas for dealing with toddlers.

Wendi

Re: Attachment parenting and the Family bed

From: RN@...