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HI Lorrie,

Actually, just posting that email shows your strength, not at all a weakness.

Lorrie, overwhelming feelings and depression are pretty common as we go

through the stages of grieving a loss, including the loss of good health. Many

people with chronic illnesses go through periods of depression. I myself went

through a severe depression summer of 2001 after a hospitalization. It can be

very difficult to climb out of the black place, I know. I completely

understand where you are, and it is a scary place to be.

Acknowledging how you feel, which you have done in this email, is an

important step. I can share what helped me. I got to the point where I could

not

even pray I was so severely depressed, but two friends came along side of me and

every week they would pray with and for me when I was not able to. They

literally prayed me through. The other thing that helped was starting a

practice

of praise. I would go through the alphabet and find something to be thankful

for with each letter of the alphabet, and by the time I got to the letter Z, I

always felt better. Now I try to live a life of counting my blessings and

practicing praise every single day. I read a marvelous book called the Power of

Praise by Carothers, and it transformed my life. I highly recommend it.

I don't want to minimize where you are or how hard it is to climb out. It

took me several months to get out, it was not an overnight process. I just want

you to know you are among friends who understand and will walk through this

with you. You are not alone. What you are feeling is a normal part of the

grieving process. We are here to support you along the way.

God bless you,

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Guest guest

HI Lorrie,

Actually, just posting that email shows your strength, not at all a weakness.

Lorrie, overwhelming feelings and depression are pretty common as we go

through the stages of grieving a loss, including the loss of good health. Many

people with chronic illnesses go through periods of depression. I myself went

through a severe depression summer of 2001 after a hospitalization. It can be

very difficult to climb out of the black place, I know. I completely

understand where you are, and it is a scary place to be.

Acknowledging how you feel, which you have done in this email, is an

important step. I can share what helped me. I got to the point where I could

not

even pray I was so severely depressed, but two friends came along side of me and

every week they would pray with and for me when I was not able to. They

literally prayed me through. The other thing that helped was starting a

practice

of praise. I would go through the alphabet and find something to be thankful

for with each letter of the alphabet, and by the time I got to the letter Z, I

always felt better. Now I try to live a life of counting my blessings and

practicing praise every single day. I read a marvelous book called the Power of

Praise by Carothers, and it transformed my life. I highly recommend it.

I don't want to minimize where you are or how hard it is to climb out. It

took me several months to get out, it was not an overnight process. I just want

you to know you are among friends who understand and will walk through this

with you. You are not alone. What you are feeling is a normal part of the

grieving process. We are here to support you along the way.

God bless you,

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Lorrie I think it is perfectly normal to be apprehensive about that

nepthrologist appointment. I know I get fairly anxious and worried as each

of my appointments draws closer. Since I have my labs drawn a week before

my appointment, I found calling the nurse a few days after I have my labs

done for the values reduces my anxiety. That way I'm not stressed all week

wondering what the neph is going to have to tell me. His nurse is more than

happy to read them off over the phone to me and then if something is getting

worse I have a few days to figure out what questions I need to ask the neph

about it.

Like put so well, it is very common to go thru periods of depression

and darkness with chronic illness. I've been there in a bad way and I will

concur it is not a good place to be. It does take time to pull yourself out

of it but just by posting here it shows your strength and willingness to

start climbing up. Have you talked with your family about your

worries/anxieties/depression? As time wears on for me I'm finding that if I

let it out to my husband and family I find it much easier to cope with those

dark looming feelings. Sometimes family can put things in perspective for

you because they are there and can see how you are doing on a daily basis.

They can point out the positives that you might be overlooking even if it's

simply that you got up and did things or were able to get moving about more.

It's very easy to get caught up in the " what ifs " I have caught myself on

more than one occasion kissing my kids good night, closing their doors and

crying my eyes out thinking " what if I end up in ESRD...who will kiss them

goodnight. " But you have to let that go and live for now, for today,

because " what if the things that are going thru your head right now never

happen " ....or " what if I get hit by a car tomorrow " hey I wouldn't have to

worry about ESRD then!

Hang in there Lorrie, you are not alone in this.

Amy

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