Re: Re: Erma Bombeck on mothers of disabled children....

[Guest guest]

Michele,

My sentiments entirely. I don't think we were 'given' Jack for any purpose,

it just happened.

If God only gave special kids to special people then why are there so many

special needs kids in care or in households where they don't get the care and

support they need ?

Elaine, mum to Elise (12yrs) & Jack (6yrs) CHaRGE

Scotland

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

I have to agree with you on this one. I know some people find comfort

in thinking that " God only gives you what you can handle " and " your

special child is a gift " etc. But I also find it a troubling thought.

No way would any God either 1) punish me by harming my child or 2)

reward my " goodness and strength " by harming my child. I have to think

that CHARGE (and other " bad " things) happen for no reason really. Not

any related to what I have or haven't done in this life or in another.

If I choose to use my experience with CHARGE to impact others in a

positive way, then that's great. But there are plenty of folks who do

not use tragedy to do good, but who wallow in their tragedies and make

things worse for themselves and others. We all have a grand purpose.

We all have good and bad come into our lives. We all either make the

best of things or don't. No matter what our circumstance, it's up to us

to do with it what we will. Good things happen to bad people. Good

things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. And bad

things happen to good people. There's no theory (religious or

otherwise) that sufficiently explains why.

Have you read " When Bad Things Happen to Good People " by Harold S.

Kushner? If not, you might find it interesting. It helped me to deal

with things like the Bombeck essay etc without feeling angry.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

I have to agree with you on this one. I know some people find comfort

in thinking that " God only gives you what you can handle " and " your

special child is a gift " etc. But I also find it a troubling thought.

No way would any God either 1) punish me by harming my child or 2)

reward my " goodness and strength " by harming my child. I have to think

that CHARGE (and other " bad " things) happen for no reason really. Not

any related to what I have or haven't done in this life or in another.

If I choose to use my experience with CHARGE to impact others in a

positive way, then that's great. But there are plenty of folks who do

not use tragedy to do good, but who wallow in their tragedies and make

things worse for themselves and others. We all have a grand purpose.

We all have good and bad come into our lives. We all either make the

best of things or don't. No matter what our circumstance, it's up to us

to do with it what we will. Good things happen to bad people. Good

things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. And bad

things happen to good people. There's no theory (religious or

otherwise) that sufficiently explains why.

Have you read " When Bad Things Happen to Good People " by Harold S.

Kushner? If not, you might find it interesting. It helped me to deal

with things like the Bombeck essay etc without feeling angry.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Kim-

As usual, you said it so well!! I really appreciate having you on the

list because you are so good at explaining things clearly.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Michele -

From the keyboard of Michele Westmaas:

>...

> Have you read " When Bad Things Happen to Good People " by Harold S.

> Kushner? If not, you might find it interesting. It helped me to deal

> with things like the Bombeck essay etc without feeling angry.

I found this book to be quite helpful in answering some of the whys after

Sara's birth and death. I completely agree with your recommendation.

BTW Some list members may not realize it but Rabbi Kushner's son was born

with birth defects (progeria) that he knew would cause his death once it was

diagnosed. His perspective was a perfect match for me.

Hugs,

Debbie

--

+ Debbie Tropiano -- debbie@... -- http://www.icus.com/personal.html +

| Mommy to b: 8/17/1995, ^Sara^ b: 10/25/2000 d: 11/7/2000 & |

| Leah b: 10/17/2001 a: 9/26/2002 " God shows His opposition to cancer and |

| birth defects, not by eliminating them or making them happen only to bad |

| people (He can't do that), but by summoning forth friends and neighbors |

+ to ease the burden and to fill the emptiness. " -- Harold S. Kushner +