Re: Spousal Issues with Weight Loss

[Guest guest]

,

I'm not married ... so I hesitate to interject my opinion but I just

know that so many of the issues you are concerned about, I, too have

worried about .. so much of life today is focused, or centered around

FOOD .. all the celebrations .. good times, bad times ..happy times ....

sad times ... all have FOOD in mass quantities ... I think of this and

wonder how I will handle them .. but then when I get worried ... I think

of how badly I want to be healthy and a much more normal size .. I am

tired of feeling bad and having no energy ...

Perhaps before your surgery you and your husband can find a hobby

together that isn't food related ... collecting or traveling or

volunteer work or something, anything but food ...

I know all about insecurities and you can reassure him that you love him

and won't trade him in ... maybe he will begin to look at his own

fitness when he sees you getting better and starting to heal both

physically and emotionally ...

I have a very loving, supportive fiance who wants me to be healthy and

have the surgery so we can be more active together and live a long,

happy, more active life together ... right now, I am not able to

excercise or walk much due to pain ..back and leg ...

sooooooooooooooooooo keep your chin up and keep coming back .. WE are

here for you ...

*Smiles*

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/10/99 7:09:50 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

cherylw@... writes:

<< I just

know that so many of the issues you are concerned about, I, too have

worried about .. so much of life today is focused, or centered around

FOOD .. all the celebrations .. good times, bad times ..happy times ....

sad times ... all have FOOD in mass quantities ... I think of this and

wonder how I will handle them .. but then when I get worried ... I think

of how badly I want to be healthy and a much more normal size .. I am

tired of feeling bad and having no energy ... >>

Hello....I just have to say something here....Jeanette, Merritt, & any other

post-ops feel free to jump in.....

After the surgery you will not feel the same....What I mean is that now when

I go out to eat & am only eating a fraction of what others are eating it does

not bother me....Oh, I remember prior to surgery feeling very resentful if I

was on a diet & at a social gathering....It was sooo hard not to run home &

eat til I could eat no more....

It is simply not like that now....I am eating right along with everyone &

even though I get finished first it doesn't matter....Once I have filled my

pouch I am satisfied....

Does that make sense?

Take care,

Beth H

[Guest guest]

Beth--

I am only 4 weeks post-op and I feel exactly the same way you described. I

have now gone with my family to restaurants several times. They order

whatever they want. I usually order soup. I eat it slowly and enjoy it. I

am satisfied and full, and feel so great about the way I feel. I was anxious

about that before surgery, worrying that maybe it wouldn't work for me. But

it does. It's such a feeling of freedom.

Katy

[Guest guest]

Beth--

I am only 4 weeks post-op and I feel exactly the same way you described. I

have now gone with my family to restaurants several times. They order

whatever they want. I usually order soup. I eat it slowly and enjoy it. I

am satisfied and full, and feel so great about the way I feel. I was anxious

about that before surgery, worrying that maybe it wouldn't work for me. But

it does. It's such a feeling of freedom.

Katy

[Guest guest]

Beth--

I am only 4 weeks post-op and I feel exactly the same way you described. I

have now gone with my family to restaurants several times. They order

whatever they want. I usually order soup. I eat it slowly and enjoy it. I

am satisfied and full, and feel so great about the way I feel. I was anxious

about that before surgery, worrying that maybe it wouldn't work for me. But

it does. It's such a feeling of freedom.

Katy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/11/99 10:00:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

KMusolino@... writes:

<< I eat it slowly and enjoy it. I

am satisfied and full, and feel so great about the way I feel. >>

Katy,

It is a good feeling....Now if I can just stop eating so many carbs, &

sweets...LOL

Take care,

Beth

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/11/99 10:00:35 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

KMusolino@... writes:

<< I eat it slowly and enjoy it. I

am satisfied and full, and feel so great about the way I feel. >>

Katy,

It is a good feeling....Now if I can just stop eating so many carbs, &

sweets...LOL

Take care,

Beth

[Guest guest]

,

Hi, here. I can sympathize with you. I just had surgery on 3-31. My

fiancee, Tom, is sort of like your husband. He is a ton of fun, usually. I

am living with him at the moment, but maintain my own residence. I will move

back to my home if I find that he is not supportive enough. I do realize,

however, that this is not an option for you.

Tom is eating everything under the sun in front of me. He will eat and eat,

and then announce, I am sick as a dog. I cannot have anything but liquids.

I have had several really bad days in which I had very intense cravings. He

even asked me to pack his lunch for him for work on the day that I was having

the worst problem with not eating. I did, but I felt that it was very

insensitive for him to ask me. I think, for the most part, some (or most)

men are clueless.

I have asked Tom repeatedly to start a walking program with me. He will not

even consider it. He keeps making comments such as " You are gonna get skinny

and leave this decrepit old man for a young, handsome, thin thing. " I am

trying to reassure him that if a young, handsome, thin thing did not want me

when I was FAT then I do not want him when I am SMALLER.

What are we to do? I wish I knew. I am hoping that time will help smooth

the rough spots. Hang in There!

[Guest guest]

,

Hi, here. I can sympathize with you. I just had surgery on 3-31. My

fiancee, Tom, is sort of like your husband. He is a ton of fun, usually. I

am living with him at the moment, but maintain my own residence. I will move

back to my home if I find that he is not supportive enough. I do realize,

however, that this is not an option for you.

Tom is eating everything under the sun in front of me. He will eat and eat,

and then announce, I am sick as a dog. I cannot have anything but liquids.

I have had several really bad days in which I had very intense cravings. He

even asked me to pack his lunch for him for work on the day that I was having

the worst problem with not eating. I did, but I felt that it was very

insensitive for him to ask me. I think, for the most part, some (or most)

men are clueless.

I have asked Tom repeatedly to start a walking program with me. He will not

even consider it. He keeps making comments such as " You are gonna get skinny

and leave this decrepit old man for a young, handsome, thin thing. " I am

trying to reassure him that if a young, handsome, thin thing did not want me

when I was FAT then I do not want him when I am SMALLER.

What are we to do? I wish I knew. I am hoping that time will help smooth

the rough spots. Hang in There!